NOTE NEW READERS: THIS STORY IS ON PERMANENT HIATUS. IT WILL NOT BE UPDATED AGAIN AND WILL THUS, REMAIN INCOMPLETE. APOLOGIES, ECANIAGA.
Chapter 1: Just Another Girl
This was pure torture. Raw and blistering torture.
Every movement, every breath was like a fresh fire scorching arduously through my throat. How ignorant they all were. How oblivious they behaved towards the people that threatened certain death to them.
The constant onslaught of their voices cemented into a solid buzz of noise, where one voice was no longer distinguishable from the others. I watched as they flew in through the diner doors like rapid traffic, each eager to feast and gush about the most recent trivial gossip.
I hadn't expected it to be this hard. When I had made the decision to return, I had believed that it was in the best interests of my family's appearances. Surely my continued absence only further risked our exposure and the horrid revelation of what we truly were. But though I had been sure that I was prepared for the struggle I would inevitably face within myself, the tiny morsel of hope that I had built up had been shredded into a thousand pieces the minute I took one fatal step into the familiar stone building.
"Six weeks…" I whispered quietly. Only forty-two days since I had last stepped foot in this cafeteria. Not that I counted time in days. Days were a measurement that humans used to allocate time and meaning to their lives, marked by the setting and the rising of the sun. To me, time was a solid run of hours. Hours that never ceased to remind me of the vicious nature of my life.
I put my head against my hands and laid against the bumpy surface of the plastic table, vainly hoping to block the humans' scent out.
No such luck.
The soft odor of warm blood swirled around me in a disorienting haze, burning painfully through my mouth and throat and shifting my priorities from endurance to submission.
I could sense my 'siblings' anxiety and worry over me but I dismissed it quickly, evening out the tension with a strong wave of calm. I didn't have time to verbally placate them; They would have to make do with the reassurance of false emotions.
You shouldn't have come back, I thought inwardly, cursing my unnecessary pride while mulling over an escape plan. It was too soon for human interaction, too soon to test the fragile stability of my self control. I had neither the patience nor the restraint to deny myself of what I truly wanted…
I was weak.
I shut my eyes and focused on the steady intake of my unnecessary breathing, feigning light sleep. Perhaps in an effort to focus on a human task, I could distract the demon within and pacify his thirst till the hunt tonight. But as soon as my eyelids faltered closed, darkness set in; pulling me back into my own haunting memories and subjecting me to the horrors that had occurred just six weeks ago...
It had never been intentional. The human shouldn't have been there, not while we were hunting. If only he had chosen somewhere else… If I could have known… If Alice could have seen what would take place…
But there was no way that she could have. No way to prevent the snap decision that was made.
I laughed humorlessly to myself.
Ironic wasn't it? A snap decision was all it took to for me to decide that hiker's fate. And a snapped neck was all it took to silence his scream and destroy everything I had worked so hard to gain.
Edward cleared his throat loudly, thumping his hands against the table and throwing me a warning glare. I smiled apologetically and shook the horrid memory from my mind as I tried once again to focus on anything other than burning inferno at the back of my throat.
It was still raining. Of course. The one consistent factor in this dreary town was it's abnormally high rainfall, the promise of more cloudy days to come.
"Which one? Oh, Jasper Hale…"
My false name was being murmured in the far reaches of the cafeteria corner, a familiar and irksome tone of voice. Jessica Stanley, the somewhat "Queen Bee" of the socially challenged school, was speaking of me in a low, awestruck whispers. I was used to the banality of high school crushes and I doubted that the conversation in question was fuelled by nothing more than a ridiculous infatuation.
"He's stunning, yes… Tall, lean, yet perfectly muscly.."
Who ever she was speaking to did not reply, so I assumed they was merely nodding along vigorously, gazing timidly upon the alluring family who tempted all. It was hard enough to resist the pull of humans that were wary to keep distance from of us, let alone ignore the temptation of enticing, soft girls who threw themselves upon us like fresh meat. The fact that I was single only spurred them on further.
I stared into the translucent reflection of the sheet glass windows and watched as the rain drops crashed and cascaded down the lucid surface, tumbling to the ground like raucous pellets. The noise was but light patter to the humans, but it thundered down relentlessly in my receptive ears, washing out my thoughts with it's clamorous sound.
A shudder racked through my body as the eyes in the reflection of the window stared back intensely, mocking me with a face that didn't fit. It didn't belong. It wasn't human. My irises had long lost the tinge of crimson victim's blood, yet the speckles of gold that were still visible behind the encroaching black, seemed like pleasant lies in the face of all that I had done.
"Maybe you should go," Alice said softly, her tone drenched in concern.
I didn't deserve her concern. Contempt maybe, but never her mercy or trepidation. Alice had always been my savior, my liberator from the flames of hell. She had shown me light in a world shrouded in darkness. Life, when all I had known was death. She was the closest thing I had to a sister, and she cared far too much for my well being. But I no longer deserved it…
I had been balancing on the precipice too long, and now I had taken my fall from grace and from decency.
"Do you see something?" I asked quietly, my lips moving at a rate far too high for any human to perceive.
Her silence and the soft grimace sprawled across her marble face informed me of all that I needed to know; I would fall further.
"Wisps and blurs, nothing's set in stone," She said faintly, trying to reassure me with sincere words.
But it was untrue. Some things were destined to collapse, their fates held by beings far above the mortal coil.
I was one such thing- and I knew it, beyond the shadow of a doubt.
"I'll leave," I said decisively, picking up the untouched tray in front of me and heading towards the door.
Edward stilled me with his marble grip and slipped the Volvo's key into my hand, but I politely declined. Driving was an exercise I indulged in when I was composed, what I needed now was to run deep into the dense surrounding forests and lose myself to the animal within.
I lumbered forward at human pace, the burning in my throat ten-folding as I passed the delectable scents. It was foolish to think that I would ever achieve the self control that my siblings possessed; my upbringing had been anything but controlled. But then, perhaps that was my down fall? My stubbornness to believe that I could achieve any sort of restraint.
Would an optimist be more successful than a pessimist, living as a being born from hell?
No one in the noisy diner seemed to notice my hasty exit, they're delicate attention span was occupied with the latest supplement to the diminutive group of students in this school. The name of Isabella Swan played on the lips of almost every student in the crowded cafeteria, obsessed with impressing or courting the fragile human. I was yet to see the girl myself, but I had little interest in knowing her, let alone seeing her.
Just another girl. Another girl who would be both drawn to us and inadvertently fearful of what she couldn't understand.
I dumped the tray and walked swiftly into the hall, filling my lungs with an air not saturated in the warmth of human blood. Their scents still lingered on almost every surface of the small school, but the weak potency was like fresh wind after suffering through the cafeteria ordeal.
Standing in the middle of the quiet hallway, for the hundredth time today I felt completely and utterly lost. What now? What actions needed to be taken to make my hasty departure plausible?
I wandered aimlessly towards the front of the school lobby, not particularly paying attention to the direction I was headed. I knew I that I couldn't simply skip out, no matter how appealing the idea presented itself. My prolonged unexplained absence was sketchy enough, without adding truancy to my record.
But could I handle my own blatant desires? Would it be possible for me to maintain restraint in the cozy, heated office with just myself and the overly attentive Mrs. Cope? She held not one ounce of the appeal that the students did, but surely in a room so tiny I would suffocate on the mere warmth of her blood.
My face twisted into a sardonic smile as I imagined the old woman gazing helpfully over her desk at my approaching form. She would fluster and stutter as I unleashed the full extent of my charm and I would pull her roughly over the smooth mahogany wood, slicing my teeth across her throat as I lapped at the sweet flow of blood.
The rough bang of a locker echoed in the distance down the hall and I was ripped back to reality with a painful blow.
I was a hideous monster. A disgusting, malevolent fiend that deserved nothing more than an eternity of fire and brimstone.
Well, there's no way you can sign out now, my mind added spitefully, mocking me for dawdling in dangerous fantasies. I sighed loudly and burst through the entrance doors, hitting them with such ferocity that the thin glass shook violently in their frames.
This would always be my life.
Not strong enough to enough to stay in the presence of humans, but too strong to simply give into the pull and live as a nomad.
I walked in both worlds, but belonged to neither.
Stumbling forward through the downpour of rain, I slumped against the side walk and sloshed my feet through the puddles. I had to get out of here, it was the only option with current circumstances. Let the school and it's shallow minded students think what they wanted of my rash exit, there was no way that I would allow my pride to risk any more lives.
A pair of faltering footsteps behind me alerted me to the fact that I was no longer alone. I quickly picked myself up from the side walk, not wishing to be found huddled in the rain and recognized as weak, though I was surely nothing other than it.
It was in this moment of silent shame that I first experienced the true meaning of torment. Anything I had felt, anything I had suffered was incomparable to the agony I experienced in that moment.
There she was, wavering awkwardly through the rain as she ran to the office. Just another girl. Another girl that I would tear to pieces as I gave into the incomprehensible temptation of the human's blood. Her identity did not matter, though I knew it immediately from her unfamiliarity.
Isabella Swan, the new girl. And by the end of the day- Forks' most tragic disappearance. Her blood was almost cripplingly sweet and in that moment I knew that I had never wanted anything more.
She ran faster towards the small heated office as the rain thundered heavier, soaking through her flimsy rain jacket.
I smiled pleasantly to myself. Surely the heat and proximity of the cramped room would only make the girl smell even more delectable. There would be no more torture, no more struggle and resistance. I would take the girl and I would relish in the no doubt divine taste of the blood that called for me so.
The office door slammed open viciously as a large howl of wind blew through the room. I watched as my prey darted forward gracelessly and attempted to reign in the large slab of mahogany, her face scrunching in exertion. Only after great labor and assistance from Mrs. Cope did the fragile human manage to shut the door.
Uncommonly weak… My mind thought softly, Even for a human. It will be almost too easy to take her.
I smiled once more as I imagined how easily my teeth would slice the pale skin above her collar, how the steady ebb of blood would flow over her shirt as I lapped up the content.
She didn't have a chance.
As my feet glided smoothly over the soaked cement, I began to take my footsteps in time with the steady thrum of the girl's heart. With each step I took, the human's heart counted down the seconds till her death. It was almost poetic that her heart beat should act as the count down for our encounter. The only way she could stop my foot steps was to stop her heart beating at all.
My hand grasped the cool railing besides me as I pulled myself closer towards the office, the scent enticing me with the promise of better things to come.
The word was spoken with clarity and conviction from behind me, before I was pulled to my knees by three separate pairs of arms.
I thrashed and growled violently at my family as they struggled to tear me from my temptation. This wasn't fair, I wouldn't let them deny me of the sweetest blood I had ever smelt. I wanted it. I needed it.
"Enough Jasper!" Edward commanded loudly as he surveyed the growing fantasies in my mind. "She's just a girl, an innocent, a human."
I knew that he was trying to appeal to the goodness within me, but he had no idea how far gone that Jasper currently was. Right now that Jasper was dead, forgotten, smothered by the monster's need for sustenance.
If it wasn't now, it would be later. If it wasn't here it would be somewhere else. It didn't matter where or when, I knew that I would take the girl. And there was no pleading or strength that could stifle me.
"Please… Jasper… Stop!" Alice sobbed loudly as she threw her hands to her head in an attempt to block out the violent images of my future.
I smiled at the certainty of my success and was backhanded across the face by a livid Rosalie.
"Get him into the car," she spat as she moved to comfort Alice.
I was thrown into the back of the Volvo by a disgruntled Edward who gestured for Emmett to sit and hold me. I could see the conflict in Emmett's eyes as he pulled my arms into his fists in an effort to restrain me.
"Sorry Bro," He muttered quietly. "You're not yourself right now, this isn't you."
"I feel just fine," I replied calmly, hiding the smile that was threatening to sprawl across my features.
They could stop me now, but sooner or later they would falter. They would falter and I would succeed in taking the Swan girl's life.
As the rest of my siblings climbed into cramped car, I watched contentedly as the object of my desire ran swiftly through the rain and back into the cover of the school premises.
Tonight I would become what I had forbidden myself to be. By the rise of the sun I would cease to walk in both worlds and commence my life as a separate being entirely.
At the peak of the moon's appearance tonight, I would truly be a vampire.
Hahaha, I bet you've missed that huh? My tendency to end chapters with cliffies.
As said on my profile, updates will not be as regular as they were in Amor Prohibido, but as I have the next few days off the next couple will probably be quite quick depending on how this is received.
Reviews are highly appreciated, especially since it's a new story and all.