Somewhere in the Mid 1990s...
"Okay," Brodie began, "Let's say they offer a chance to join the Justice League..."
"Wait," T.S. interrupted, "which one was the Justice League?"
Brodie stared daggers at his oldest friend. "If you're not going to take this seriously..."
"I'm just not sure which one the Justice League is," T.S. said honestly.
"Just imagine all of your favorite heroes together," Brodie said angrily. "Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash..." he enumerated, counting off on his fingers.
T.S. nodded. "So, 'The Super Friends?'"
Brodie stared at him for a moment. "You and I are no longer friend," he said and he started to walk off.
T.S. held up his hands. "Hold up, I'm sorry, okay."
Brodie seemed unconvinced. "You're not going to start that 'Super Friends' shit again, are you?"
T.S. shook his head. "Forget I said anything."
Brodie seemed to accept this, and he and T.S. shook on it. "okay."
T.S. waved a hand at his friend. "Now, why don't you finish what you were saying, 'cos I was really interested."
Brodie nodded. "Well, I was just saying... the Justice League shows up at your house, they want you the team, they're jumping to sign you up... you just have to do one thing first."
T.S. looked at him to continue.
Brodie waggled his eyes expressively. "To pass the initiation, you have to let one of the male League members do you from behind."
T.S. recoiled. "Oh, god, Brodie!"
Brodie shrugged. "Hey, it's how you get in the Screen Actor's Guild."
"First," T.S. said, pointing a finger, "no, it's not. And second... why?"
"Look," Brodie said casually, it's an honest question: if you had to let one member of the Justice League sodomize you, who would it be?"
"I am not answering that question," T.S. said, folding his arms.
Brodie shrugged. "Okay, fine."
They were halfway to the foodcourt when T.S. finally broke down and asked. "So, what's the right answer?"
"What?" Brodie asked, confused.
"The whole Justice League butt-sex thing," T.S. explained, ashamed. "You wouldn't have asked me about it if there wasn't one right answer and you weren't looking for an opportunity to attack my lack of comic book dick knowledge, so... what was the right answer? Obviously I know it's not Superman."
"Well, who would you have chosen?" Brodie asked gently.
"It doesn't matter," T.S. insisted. "Just tell me who I should have chosen."
Brodie shrugged. "It's personal. There's no wrong choice."
"Fine," T.S. said in exasperation, "Batman."
"'Batman!?'" Brodie repeated, flying off the handle. "Are you insane?"
"Here we go..."
"I mean, sure it would be an honor..." Brodie granted, "but do you realize how tense that guy is? You're asking for permanent damage if let that guy fuck you."
"Okay," T.S. corrected, "make it The Flash. That way it's over soon."
"Yeah, but he'll tear you up like a jackhammer," Brodie winced. "You're really not thinking this through, are you?"
T.S. rolled his eyes. "So, what's the right answer?"
"There is no right..."
"Who would you pick?" T.S. amended.
"Green Lantern," Brodie didn't salute when he said the name, but you could tell the urge was there.
"Fine," T.S. sighed.
"See, all his powers stem from his ring and he's pretty healthy emotionally," Brodie explained, "so there's no danger of real damage. He's there to get the job done and move on."
T.S. thought about this for a moment.
"And don't even think about Aqua Man," Brodie pointed.
"Wasn't gonna," T.S. replied.