Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragonball series.
A/N: Since I'm having alot of trouble with new ideas atm I'll just finish up some older stories that were left discontinued.
"So...it's been a very long time, but let me get this straight...Goku and Vegeta are dead, Sonic and Shadow are their replacements, and now some giant faggot ball has come to kill us?" Yamcha asked aloud as he and the other Z Warriors stared up at Wammy.
Tien shrugged. "That's pretty much it...I guess. I don't really remember either."
"BAH, YOU'RE USELESS!!"
Taking a step forward, Krillin decided to be useful for once and aimed his index finger up at the being known as Wammy. "Who are you and why have you come here, Wammy?!"
"Do I have to tell you?"
"Uh..." Krillin thought about it for a moment, "If...if you would like to...we would all greatly appreciate it at least..."
"Very well! Before that, however, I shall reveal my true self!" Wammy's spherical body suddenly became enveloped with a white light, forcing everyone in the surrounding area to cover their eyes for protection. It was brighter than the very sun itself. When the light had finally faded away a few seconds later, the heroes were shocked to see that a human-sized figure was now floating in mid-air in Wammy's place. He had a slightly muscular build, with long, scarlet-red hair that flowed down to his waist. He had a very stern look on his face, although the tiny flower tattoos on his cheeks made it a bit difficult to take him very seriously. He wore only a pair of blue Nike sneakers and old khaki pants that were about two sizes too big. Slowly, this strange man hovered down to the ground.
"I...am the true Wammy. That bulky form you saw before is what I must use to be able to travel between the fabric of time and space with ease." announced the man with a bow of his head. He was surprisingly polite.
'THIS BASTARD...IS HE MOCKING US?!!' Veins were popping up all over Android 17's face as he thought this to himself.
"Okay, so will you tell us what you're up to, now?" Krillin asked.
Wammy nodded. "Of course. You see, I-"
Before Wammy could speak any further, he was sent crashing into a nearby building by a kick to the face from Cell, who had come flying in out of nowhere. Yamcha quickly tore his eyes away from Android 18's ass and put on the same shocked expression as the others so no one would suspect him. For some reason, Cell had both a monocle and a handlebar moustache plastered to his face. He didn't look especially happy, either. Seeing that everyone was currently too distracted by the bug-robot's sudden entrance, Sonic and Shadow took this chance to run away.
"GODDAMMIT!!" Cell cursed so loudly that it caused one of the bystanders to spontaneously burst into flames.
Krillin let out a sigh of relief. "Cell, you're finally back...!"
"Yeah! And I killed my fanboy!" Cell exclaimed, holding up Janemba's severed head.
Krillin wrinkled his face in disgust.
Suddenly, a beam of light shot out from the building that Wammy had been kicked into, completely disintegrating Janemba's head as it zoomed past Cell. A moment later, Wammy himself emerged out of the rubble without a sign of injury on him. For some unexplainable reason, he looked alot happier than before.
"Are you sure you want to kill me? I have something you want..." Wammy sneered.
He then raised his left arm high into the air, and opened his palm to reveal a tiny pale-green seed emerging out of his skin. Cell and Krillin exchanged bewildered glances.
Yamcha and Tien were now eating pasta out of bowls conspicuously shaped like high-heel shoes.
The tiny seed began to swell larger and larger, until it was about the size of a basketball. Wammy's grin widened to reveal his mouth was filled with rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth. The seed proceeded to burst open to reveal the final dragonball contained within it; it was the last one Cell and the others needed to revive Goku and Vegeta. Wammy clenched tightly onto the mystical orb, and brought it down near his face so he could sniff it.
"You know," he spoke calmly, but it was still full of unrelenting malice, "I could easily crush this thing right here and now...and then you won't be able to get your wish, right?"
"How...how do you know about that?"
Wammy gave the dragonball a lick. "I learned it all by reading the mind of your dear friend Pickles..."
"OH FUCK NO, NOT PICKLES!!! THAT MOTHERFUCKER CAN NEVER KEEP A SECRET!!" bellowed Krillin in absolute fury. He was definitely going to make sure that damn, anthropomorphic pickled cucumber got what was coming to it when this was all over.
"No, wait, his name was Piccolo."
"How the hell did you read Piccolo's mind? I thought Namekians had super-powered mental blocks or something! Either that...or cock-blocking powers..." proclaimed Android 18.
"That's what kept me from raping him!" Android 17 realized.
Wammy decided to ignore the peanut gallery and continue his grand exposition. "I was able to inject one of my seeds into his mind, linking his brain to mine, allowing me full control of his body as well as access to all of his memories. I know everything about you pitiful Z Warriors, and with his unconsented aid, I shall blow you all to itty-bitties!!"
"Uh...dude? Piccolo has been a minor character ever since the final half of the Cell saga. He sucks now." Krillin had no particular reason for raining on the poor alien's parade, but DAMN it felt good!
A slight pause, and then...
"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT...!!" Poor Wammy crapped his pants right then and there.
"...Suffer and die, furfag..."
Cell then proceeded to fire a kamehameha blast straight into Wammy's balls...but this was certainly not the end.