No Kel-No-Reem for the Weary

Lighting the last candle, Teal'c blew out the match. While he no longer needed to physically Kel-no-reem since he began using the Tretonin, the ritual of lighting the candles and quietly finding inner peace at the end of the day was one in which he could never think of parting with. He settled down into a crossed leg position in the center of his candles and closed his eyes.

As soon as he began to ease into a state of oneness with the universe, a knock sounded at the door. He opened his eyes just as another knock echoed across his room once again. With an inaudible sigh he rose from the floor and went to the door opening it and looking down into the face of a rather distraught, dark-haired woman.

"Muscles, I'm so glad you're up."

"ValaMalDoran, Should you not be asleep?"

"I couldn't sleep, I needed to ask you something."

"How may I be of assistance?"

"You've known Daniel longer than I have."


"Is he gay?"

"I do not understand."

"You know, bats for the same team, likes boys over girls, homosexual, quee..."

"I understand the term, however, I do not understand why you ask the question when you clearly know that he is not."

"I don't get it Teal'c. How can there be any other explanation for him turning me down yet again. I have tried and tried and yet I get rejected every time. I've practically thrown myself at him, but he isn't responding. Now, I know that I am an attractive woman, otherwise I never would have been chosen to be a host to Quetesh. So, tell me, how can a man who has not been with a woman in almost a decade, not be interested?"

"Perhaps DanielJackson seeks a deeper level of companionship besides that of a sexual nature."

"So, you're saying he's not interested in sex?"

"Not at all. I only imply that he prefers to build a platonic relationship first."

"Oh...So you mean that he wants to be just friends and then he might be interested?"

"Since I am not DanielJackson I would hesitate to speak for him. Perhaps you should speak with him regarding this matter."

"I know" Vala rolled her eyes as Teal'c lifted an eyebrow to her. " I will. Thanks Teal'c."

"It is my pleasure, goodnight."

"'Night." Vala waved and Teal'c bowed slightly to her as she left and he closed the door. Taking a deep breath, he moved back to the center of his candles and sat down again. Closing his eyes, he began to allow his mind to drift and detach from his physical being. He reached out mentally, on the cusp of blissful harmony that lead to true Kel-no-reem when he was suddenly jerked back to reality by another loud rapping noise at the door.

He opened his eyes and once again rose from the floor, a little put off by the second intrusion. Opening the door he was greeted by an unsmiling Daniel Jackson.

"DanielJackson, it is late, should you not be in bed? "

"Yeah, I would be except Vala came over and was acting really weird."

"In what sense?"

"I was working a little late tonight and she came to my office, saying said she just wants to be friends. She didn't come on to me, touch me inappropriately or even sit on my desk. She just sat and read a book while I worked. It was truly bizarre. I asked her what was up and she said she talked to you. You know, I don't get her, she was all over me earlier, now she acting like she could care less. What did you say to her?" Maybe it was Teal'c's imagination, but his friend seemed a little disappointed. Perhaps the lack of Vala's overtly sexual advances were actually missed by the lonely archaeologist.

"I simply explained to her that you may desire a platonic relationship rather than a sexual one at this time."

"Okay. Is that all?"


"And that worked?"

"Apparently it did, indeed."

"Okay, well, That's what I've been trying to tell her. I suppose she just needed to hear that from someone other than me. So, I guess I need to thank-you." He sighed and half-heartedly added "this is the most work I've managed to accomplish in some time."

"It has been my pleasure." Daniel peeked around Teal'c noticing the many candles lit around the room.

"Oh, I disturbed your kel-no-reem haven't I?"

"It is of no consequence, DanielJackson, however, I do desire to return to it."

"Right, sorry, I'll just get going. Night, Teal'c."

"Good evening." Daniel walked off and Teal'c closed the door again. He returned to his candles and sat down once again. He crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. Closing his eyes he tried to let go and release his tension. It didn't happen very often, but there were times when his thoughts would intrude to the point where he was unable to reach full kel-no-reem. Tonight was one of those nights. Try as he might, he just couldn't push the thoughts of his two friends out of his mind. He had spent fifty years on the Odyssey watching their relationship grow and knew it was a forgone conclusion that they would end up together, but when would Vala finally stop using sex as a weapon to bait Daniel? And when would Daniel finally admit to himself that he has feelings for Vala that go beyond friendship? His friends perplexed him, why was it so hard for them to be straightforward with their emotions? Teal'c loved his Tau'ri friends, but sometimes they were a real pain in the mikta.

Still attempting to reach that inner peaceful place of serenity, another knock came to the door. Frustrated by his lack of concentration, he got up and stalked towards the door, flinging it open with his powerful arms and glaring hostilely towards the smiling figure before him.

"Whoa, big guy. Sorry!" Immediately Teal'c let go of his irritation as the smile on his friend's face fell.

"ColonelMitchell." Teal'c greeted, regaining his composure and bowing to the leader of his team.

"Hey Teal'c, if this is a bad time I can come back."

"No, ColonelMitchell, it is alright."

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't keep this to myself, I had to tell someone and you were the closest." Again the smile returned to Mitchell's face as he leaned in so he could convey his message to Teal'c without sharing with the entire corridor, even though it was empty.

"I was going to drop off some reports for Jackson and what should I see but one cranky archaeologist and one snarky space pirate sucking face in his office."

"Indeed." Teal'c couldn't help but grin a bit.

"Yeah, I gotta tell Sam, she lost our bet and owes me twenty bucks now. See ya." With that, Mitchell took off and left Teal'c holding the door open. Turning back into his room and closing the door again, he went to his candles and blew out each one. There would be no more Kel-no-reem tonight. Instead he climbed into bed and clapped twice, the lamp on the nightstand flicked off and he went straight to sleep.