Trick-Or-Treating...With Tony

Disclaimer: I don't own it. At all.

Author's Note: 'Tis the season...I can't help it, I get into the holiday spirit.

"Grampa! Grampa! He's here! Open the door! It's him!" a little boy bounced around his grandfather.

"Okay, okay, Al. I'm going. Give me a break, I'm an old man." his grandfather chuckled, opening the door.

"TONY!" the boy shouted, latching himself to the man at the door.

"Hey, Alex," Tony laughed, patting the boy on the head, "Hello, Mr. Clardy," Tony shook Alex's grandfather's hand.

"Good evening, Tony. Al's been waiting for this since he got home from school. You're sure it's no trouble?"

"None at all. I love trick-or-treating," Tony gave Mr. Clardy a reassuring smile.

Alex's grandmother walked over with his Spider-Man mask and a jack o' lantern pail, "Now, Al, you be good tonight, okay?"

Alex put on the mask and took the bucket and said, "Yes, gramma."

"Alex is never any trouble, Mrs. Clardy," Tony assured her.

"Thank you again for taking him, Tony. You really don't have to," she smiled.

"Say nothing of it, I'll enjoy it probably as much as he does," Tony grinned.

"Tony, let's go!" Alex begged, tugging on Tony's shirt.

"Alright, buddy, let's go. Bye, Mr. Clardy, Mrs. Clardy," Tony waved as Alex ran to his car.

"Where we goin'?" Alex asked from the backseat.

"Some of my friends' houses," Tony replied.

"They got candy?"

"I'm sure they do."


Tony pulled into an apartment complex and got Alex out of the car and led him up to an apartment door. Tony knocked and Alex asked, "Tony, who lives here?"

"Shhh," Tony replied, pulling out a gorilla mask and putting it on.

A woman opened the door and looked him over, "What do you want, Tony?"

A muffled mumble came out of the gorilla mask.


He yanked the mask off and shouted, "Candy! Why else would I be trick-or-treating?!"

"'Cause you're an idiot?" she offered.

"Oh! Where are my manners?!"

"Something I've been wondering for years."

"Ha, ha," Tony pulled Alex over in front of him.

"Kidnapping, Tony?"

"Once again, ha, ha. This is my neighbor, Alex Clardy. Alex, this is my friend, Ziva."

"Hi," Alex said from behind the Spider-Man mask.

"Now, Zee-vah, I know you're new to this whole 'Halloween business', but now you usually give the kid candy."

"Doesn't he have to say something first?"

"Trick-or-treat!" Alex shouted.

Ziva smirked, handing Alex some candy.

"How do you know that?" Tony demanded.

"I know more than you'd think," she laughed.

"Have you ever been trick-or-treating?"


"That's it! Come on, Alex!" Tony shouted, grabbing Ziva's wrist and dragging her to his car while Alex followed.

"Where are we going, Tony?" she demanded.

"McGee's is closest," he said, starting the car.

They got to McGee's apartment and Tony put the mask on and he and Alex ran up to the door. Tony got right up in the frame and rang the bell.

When McGee answered the door, Tony shouted, "Booga! Booga! Booga!" and McGee jumped.

"Damn it, DiNozzo! What the hell's wrong with you?!"

"Hey! Watch your language! There is a child present!" Tony ordered, pointing to a laughing Alex.

"Where'd you get him from? Kidnapping? Or an illegitimate son for the Love Machine?"

"Shut up, Probie. That's my neighbor, Alex...I kidnapped her," he said, pointing behind him.

"Ziva?" McGee asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, he literally pulled me into his car," she said, rolling her eyes at Tony.

Tony snorted sarcastically.

Alex, who had been quietly observing the adults' discussion, now stepped forward and spoke, "Trick-or-treat!"

"Hey! Spider-Man! I love Spider-Man!" McGee smiled, dropping some candy into Alex's bucket.

"Thank you, Mr. Probie," Alex smiled.

"What did he just call me?" McGee glared at Tony.

"He's only a kid, McGee," Tony said, defensively.

"Tony!" McGee growled.

"Okay, time to go," Tony grinned, grabbing Ziva's and Alex's arms and leading them back to the car.

"Tony," Alex chirped.

"Yeah, bud?"

"Why did he get so mad when I called him that?"

"That guy back there."

"McGee? Because it's his nickname."

"But Al and Alex are my nicknames and I like them."

"That's the name that Tony uses when he teases McGee," Ziva explained.

" is it mean?"


"Tony!" Ziva shouted.

"Well, it isn't!" he protested.

"It's not exactly nice, is it?"


"Alex, everyone else calls him McGee. That's his real name, okay?"


They pulled up to a house with blacklights blinking in the windows, skull pictures plastered to the door, and no less than six jack o' lanterns lining the steps.

"Tony, this house looks scary," Alex whimpered.

"Naw, come on, you'll love her," Tony said, looking at Alex in the mirror.

"Tony, is this Abby's house?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm not going."


"You know Abby. She'll see us together and get the wrong idea. Who knows what they'll be saying at work on Monday."

"You're coming."

"No, I'm not."

"Ziva David, if I have to carry you out of this car you are coming. Then what would Abby think?"

They both stared at each other defiantly until Alex stuck his head between them, looking shyly at Ziva, "If I have to go, so do you."

Tony grinned triumphantly and Ziva threw back her head and groaned.

Once out of the car, Alex scurried over to Ziva's side and grabbed her hand and looked up at her nervously.

She gave him a reassuring smile and Tony came over and picked him up.

"Come on, buddy, let's get some candy," he smiled.

Tony knocked on the door and Abby threw it open, "Finally! Trick-or-treaters! Oh, hey, Tony! Who's this?"

"Don't you recognize Spider-Man when you see him, Abs?" Tony laughed.

Alex began squirming, so Tony set him down. He ran and hid behind Ziva.

"Ziva! I didn't see you!" Abby squealed, "What are you doing out...with Tony?"

"See!" Ziva glared at Tony.

"Get over it!" Tony grinned.

"I was kidnapped," Ziva smiled at Abby, "Someone had to prevent Tony from corrupting future generations."

"Speaking of whom, who is he?" Abby asked.

"Tony's neighbor, Alex."

"Aww. Hey, Alex, I'm Abby. Don't you want to come out and get some candy?" she knelt down to his level.

Alex shyly looked from Ziva to Tony to Abby, then said, "Trick-or-treat."

"Awesome!" Abby smiled big and held out a bowl of candy so that Alex could pick out what he wanted.

"Thank you."

"You are most definitely welcome. And I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Nothing scares me, I'm Spider-Man," Alex grinned.

"That's right," Abby said, reflecting Alex's defiant grin.

Abby stood back up and looked at Tony, "I like him. You should bring him around more often."

Tony smiled.

"Come on! Let's go! I NEED MORE CANDY!" Alex giggled, pulling on Ziva's wrist.

"I think we should go, Tony," Ziva laughed.

"Yeah, alright. Bye, Abs."

"Bye, Abby."

"Bye, guys! Have fun! Happy Halloween!"

"How many more houses, Tony? It's freezing out there," Ziva asked, once they were back in the car.

"Two. Why didn't you get a jacket?"

"I didn't know I would be going anywhere," she said dryly.

"Oh, yeah. Here take mine," he offered, taking of his jacket.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm wearing a sweater."

"Okay, thanks," she said, pulling on his jacket, which was much too big for her. The sleeves hung down over her hands.

They pulled up to a house and heard the faint sound of dogs barking.

"Ducky?" Ziva asked.


When they got out of the car, Alex took off running to the door.

"Sure, now he runs!" Tony said, throwing his arms up. Ziva laughed loudly.

Alex rang the doorbell and an elderly woman opened the door and two Welsh Corgis bolted out the door.

"Why, hello there. Why are you here?" the woman questioned in a thick Scottish accent.

"Mother!" Ducky shouted, stepping into the doorway, "You've already scared away eight children. Please, do not answer the door."

Ducky turned to Alex, "Good evening."

"Trick-or-treat," Alex said, holding up his pail.

Ducky put some candy in and looked around, "Don't tell me that you're out here all alone."

"No, sir," Alex shook his head.

"Well, then, who are you with?"

"Hey, Ducky," Tony waved, standing a ways behind Alex.

"Good evening, Ducky," Ziva waved from beside Ducky.

"Oh, Anthony, Ziva, I didn't even see you there. Wherever did you get such a polite little boy?" Ducky waved.

"He's my neighbor, Alex," Tony explained.

"Oh...his parents don't take him out for Halloween?"
"He lives with his grandparents, and I told them that I'd do it," Tony explained.

"That is awfully kind of you, Anthony...but how did Ziva get involved in all of this?"

"Tony kidnapped me," she explained simply.

"...Oh..." Ducky looked between the pair, obviously confused.

"She'd never been trick-or-treating! Can you believe that?!" Tony exclaimed, gesturing wildly.

"The customs in America are not the same as customs around the world, my boy," Ducky shrugged.

"Oh, Donald! Where are the scraps?! The dogs are hungry!" Ducky's mother called from inside the house.

"Mother, the dogs are out here!" Ducky shouted back, "Sorry, but I had bes go before Mother puts leftover corned beef in the ficus again," Ducky grinned and waved as the corgis ran in the house and he shut the door behind them.

Alex came up and tugged on Tony's shirt, Tony picked him up.

"Why did you call him 'ducky'?" Alex asked.

"That's his nickname," Tony answered.

"He likes it?" Alex looked at Ziva.

"Yes," she replied.

"Is he your grampa?"


"How do you have 'sortof' a grampa?"

"He acts like our grandfather, but he really isn't." Ziva explained.

Alex nodded and looked like he was in deep thought.

"Any more pressing questions, sir?" Tony asked, putting Alex in the car.

"One more...Is his mom crazy?"

Tony and Ziva looked at each other and laughed, "Yes."

"How many more houses, Tony?" Alex yawned.

"One more. Don't fall asleep on us now, buddy," Tony encouraged.

"Who?" Ziva asked.

They shared a long look and Ziva exclaimed, "No! Tony, you are out of your mind! There is no way that we're going to Gibbs's house!"

"Yes. We are," he said, simply.

When they got to Gibbs's house, Tony ran ahead, but Alex fell back and walked sleepily alongside Ziva.

"Are you tired, Alex?" she asked.

He nodded drowsily.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

"Please," he yawned.

She picked him up and jogged to catch up with Tony, who was knocking on the door.

Gibbs opened the door and looked skeptically at Tony.

"Hey, boss, trick-or-treat," Tony grinned.

"Haven't you outgrown this yet, DiNozzo?" Gibbs growled.

"Maybe...but he hasn't," Tony motioned toward Ziva and Alex.

Gibbs looked between Tony and Ziva, then smacked Tony on the back of the head.

"It's my neighbor, Alex!" Tony protested.

Gibbs smacked him again. "What was that for?!" Tony shouted.

"Kidnapping," Gibbs stated flatly.

"I didn't kidnap him!" Tony shouted indignantly.

"You did kidnap me," Ziva chimed in.

Gibbs smacked Tony once again. "What wa-?!"

"Breaking rule 12," Gibbs said quietly.

"But we haven't-!" Tony started.

"But you will," Gibbs chuckled.

Alex yawned big and Ziva spoke up, "Tony."

"Yeah, it's about time to get him home," Tony conceded.

"Well..." Gibbs said.

"Well, what?" Tony asked, looking confused.

"Well, bring him up here so he can get some candy," Gibbs said, obviously.

"Oh," Ziva replied, bringing Alex up to their boss.

"Trick-or-treat," Alex said groggily.

Gibbs put some candy in his pail and said, "Hey, you keep an eye on these two, okay?"

Alex nodded and Ziva looked at Gibbs in disbelief.

"Well, Boss, we better be going," Tony said.

"Yeah," Ziva agreed.

They began to walk back to the car when Gibbs called, "Hey! DiNozzo!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Don't mess up a good thing."

Tony stood still for a moment, trying to process what his boss had just said. He looked up to respond, but Gibbs had gone back inside. He looked in the car to see Ziva fastening Alex in, and he smiled.

This was a good thing, wasn't it?

He got in the car and they drove off.

"Hey, it's still early for us, wanna go back to my place and watch a move?" he asked.

She thought for a second and replied, "Sure."

He grinned from ear to ear.

They got back to Tony's apartment complex and Ziva looked back at Alex.

"Tony, he's out like a stone."

"Out like a rock, Ziva."

"Whatever, he's asleep."

"Give me a second," Tony pulled out his cell phone and made a short call, then returned to Ziva, "He's staying with me tonight."

He picked Alex up and carried him to his apartment.

Once inside, he put Alex on his bed and then joined Ziva on the couch. They watched the movie and by the end they were both very drowsy.

"Hey, your car's not here and I can't leave Alex here by himself to drive you home, so why don't you just stay the night?" he asked.

She thought about it, "Okay," she yawned.


"I had a great time tonight. Thanks for taking me."

"You're welcome, I had a great time, too."

Tony leaned over and kissed Ziva lightly on the lips.

They beamed sleepily at one another until they heard the patter of small feet running into the living room.

Alex leaped up into Ziva's lap and Tony tussled his hair and asked, "Whatcha doin' out of bed, buddy?"

"That man told me to keep an eye on you two," Alex said.

"What are you keeping an eye out for?" Ziva asked, grinning.

Alex thought about it for a bit, "...I dunno...but I'll know when I see it!"

Tony and Ziva chuckled a bit, then Tony picked up Alex and asked, "Isn't that costume itchy? Your grandma brought you some pajamas to change into."

He say Alex down and handed him a bag, Alex ran to change.

"So much for being tired, huh?" Ziva shrugged.

"It's just a front. I'm still tired...and so are you," he added, watching her yawn.

"I've got some sweatpants and a t-shirt you can change into, if you'd like," he offered.

She nodded and he went and got them. After Alex came out of the bathroom, she went in to change.

Alex padded over to Tony, now seated on the couch, and climbed up in his lap. "Is Ziva staying, too?"


"She's nice."

"She can be."

"And she's pretty."

"Oh, yeah, she is," Tony grinned.

"I like her, she reminds me of my momma...You like her, too, don't you? But you like her diff'ernt."


"You like her like a momma, you like her like a...a girlfriend."


"You do. I can tell. You act diff'ernt 'round her."

"Whaddiya mean?"

"I dunno, just diff'ernt. She makes you laugh and smile funny. Do you like her?"

"...Yeah...I do..."

"You do what?" Ziva asked, exiting the bathroom.

"Uhhh..." Tony thought, "I do need to go change into some pajamas!"

Tony ran to change clothes. When he left, Alex climbed into Ziva's lap.

"I like you," Alex grinned up at her.

"Thank you, Alex, I like you, too."

"I like you 'cause you 'mind me of my momma. Not like how Tony likes you."

"How does Tony like me?" she played along.

"Like a girlfriend," he said, simply.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yep. You make him act diff'ernt. He smiles funny and laughs funny around you...and he thinks you're pretty."

"He does, does he?" she grinned, "Well, you know what?"

"What?" Alex smiled back.

"I like him, too."

Tony came out of the bathroom, yawning, "Hey, guys, let's hit the hay, I'm beat."

Ziva carried Alex into Tony's room and the three climbed into bed, with Alex between Tony and Ziva.

Alex tried to hold both of them as close as humanly possible, and so the three fell asleep snuggled close together like a little family.

A.N.: So, I said that I would brag this to everyone- My friend, Katie, works at Subway and a few days ago she made sandwiches for (let me remind you: this is in rural central Arkansas) Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen...yeah, Katie made Becker's sandwich. Great, huh?

This story was originally written as a CSI: Sara/Greg story, but I abandoned that ship and rewrote it as a Ziva/Tony story.

I promise that I'll update 1,050 Miles from Washington soon, I promise, I've just got so much homework in statistics class!