Ah, the grand Fanale (Saya thinks)! Let's see how this ends, shall we?
Disclaimer: the story idea belongs to Mimori Ao, the characters to Katsura Hoshino. Saya just owns the idea of putting the two together.
Rating: T-ish in this chapter. Rating might go up, but Saya isn't so sure.
5. Death isn't the End
Lavi was pretty sure this was the happiest day he'd ever had the pleasure of living through. Yuu was his, all his, and they were going on a date together. What's more, Yuu was even saying such adorable things about holding hands all day. Lavi had been waiting for this day ever since he'd become aware of his feelings as a child, and it was already so much better than he'd ever imagined it. And to think, they hadn't even reached the amusement park yet. Clearly, this was going to be the best day of his life.
So he'd might as well say as much.
"Ya know Yuu, I think this has been the best day of my life. I'm really happy that you're here with me now," Lavi said honestly, feeling embarrassed even as he looked at Kanda's slightly widened eyes. He didn't care if he died in a week or two, there was nothing he'd left undone, nothing to regret not doing.
For a moment he just watched as a blush crept up Yuu's face, but then a moment later he was wincing as Kanda hit him over the head. It didn't actually hurt that much, and for someone as strong as Yuu it was probably more of a love tap than anything, but Lavi still had to scowl at the action.
"Hey, I was just being honest, what's with the violence?" He pouted as he asked Kanda.
"Baka! Now is not the time to be saying that," Kanda said, turning away as he felt his face heating up even more. "I'll make sure you're even happier in the future." Yuu sort of wanted to sink into the ground and die he was so embarrassed, but he definitely wanted Lavi to know that he was going to make sure the redhead kept living. He wanted Lavi to know that he wasn't going to give him up so easily.
For a minute Lavi just stared at Yuu in awe, amazed that he could say something like that. It was such a hopeful statement, too; Lavi really hoped that they would maybe have that happy future. As Kanda motioned for the redhead to follow him across the street, Lavi remembered that he wasn't supposed to let go of Yuu today.
"Ah, wait Yuu!" Lavi called, crossing the street himself. However, something strange came over him and suddenly he just couldn't move his legs. No matter how much he told himself to move forward he just couldn't.
It was because Lavi was so concentrated on moving out of the road that he heard the truck coming before he saw it. He was completely paralyzed with fear now, even if he could move he didn't think he'd make it out of the way in time.
'So I'm really gonna die now,' he thought as he watched the approaching headlights.
Kanda heard Lavi's call to stop and turned around just in time to see him standing in the middle of the street, frozen in place. Immediately he ran back, wondering all the while why the hell Lavi wasn't moving. The truck that was screeching as it tried to break wasn't going to be able to stop in time, and for a moment Kanda was unsure of whether he'd be able to get Lavi out of the way. But then that mysterious something came over him too, and before he knew it he was rolling out of the way of the truck, Lavi in his arms.
Judging from the horrific pain in his shoulder, Kanda had to assume that he'd just dislocated it. Lavi was groaning into his chest, shifting onto his hands and knees so that he could get up. His eyes widened a bit when he saw the pain that briefly flitted across the older boy's face. He'd moved Kanda's shoulder a bit, and it was not pleasant.
"Yuu! Are you alright? Oh God I'm so sorry. I don't know why I stopped or why I didn't even look before I started crossing over but… I'm sorry!" Lavi rattled out in one shaky breath as he slowly, carefully helped Kanda sit up. As careful as he was, Kanda still had to wince a bit as he moved.
"Not… your fault," Kanda said through grit teeth and he tried not to hiss at the pain. He took a deep breath to get over the feeling in his shoulder. "I'm the one who told you not to let go of me, and then walked away."
"My fault. Shut up."
Lavi wanted to look annoyed or hurt by Kanda's final tone, but he couldn't muster up anything more than an upset expression. Kanda tried to get the glare off his face (which was directed toward the ache in his shoulder) long enough to talk to Lavi without making him feel worse.
"Are you alright, Lavi?" He asked, making the redhead blink. Clearly Lavi was alright, it was Kanda that was in pain! He nodded quickly, but stopped when he felt Kanda's hand on his head.
"That's good," Kanda said his tone softer than before and relieved-sounding. Lavi felt a mix of relief and guilt as Yuu smoothed his hair down. It was his fault Kanda was hurt, and yet he was the one being consoled, how pathetic.
"U-um, I called for an ambulance." A woman from the gathering crowd came up behind Kanda, her cell phone still in hand. "Are the two of you alright?"
Lavi was about to say that clearly Yuu was not alright, but Kanda beat him to it by answering with a quick "Yes". A little while later the two of them were brought to the hospital.
"Why did you do that?" Allen angrily floated over to where Cross was in the sky that loomed over the road. Cross' hand was still hovering in the air, though it quickly went lax and dropped to his side. The damn brat had stopped him in the middle of a job; clearly that was not proper etiquette.
"You could have killed him!"
Cross scoffed at Allen, rolling his eye. "I don't think you understand the 'death' part of 'Death god.' The point was that he's supposed to die, idiot."
"But…" Allen clenched his fists, angry. He knew he was in the wrong here, he knew Lavi was supposed to die, but why? What had Lavi done to deserve this? It was unfair, there were worse people to kill, and there were people that were just about ready to die anyway, so why should Lavi die, innocent and early?
"Lavi is a good person. He hasn't done anything wrong, so why should he die…?"
"I don't know why he's gotta die kid, I just know that he does. You can't save people out of pity, if all of us just said 'They're a good person' and moved on, do you know how much chaos there would be? Think about why you're here, you idiot!" Cross' expression was fierce as he glared down at the younger shinigami. Allen didn't understand why he was so angry, what reason had Cross to be so annoyed? Allen was the one who was supposed to be upset here, and Cross knew how this all felt so why was he insisting on this anyway?
"Why, if you know how this all feels, then why are you doing this?" Allen stared determinedly into Cross' eyes, silently demanding an answer. The taller man glared right back for a moment, before giving an irritated sigh.
"Look, is it so wrong for me to want to preserve my own species? Humans die one way or another, you might save him from me but another shinigami could be with him right now, doing your job for you. What's the point of you dying for someone who will die either way?"
"I…" Allen had no answer for that; he just knew that he wanted Lavi to stay here, where he was happiest. "I don't know, but that doesn't matter!" He declared boldly. Cross' patience with the boy was wearing thin.
"Look, if you don't someone else will. Do you want the person you love to be killed by a stranger? Because I will be that stranger. The least you could do for the kid is show his soul to Heaven yourself, right?"
Allen did not reply, he just stood, wide-eyed and silent, stuck in his thoughts.
Lavi's face was expressionless as he waited in the hall outside the room Kanda had been brought to. They were at the hospital now, and it had been determined that neither of them were wounded too horribly and they could leave as soon as the doctor set Kanda's shoulder back into place. Lavi just had to wait outside of this room until Kanda came out, and then they could leave.
As much as Yuu had insisted that it was his fault for letting Lavi go, and indeed he had insisted on this throughout the ride to the hospital, Lavi still blamed himself. He'd let go of Kanda too, hadn't he? So wouldn't that make the fault at least partially his? He was definitely the one who'd stopped in the middle of the street for no reason, too. Why had he done something so ridiculous? If only he hadn't done that, he could've been out of the way and no one would've gotten hurt at all.
"Oi, stop looking so depressed already. I'm fine, see?" Lavi looked up to see Kanda giving him a slightly annoyed look. Really, it wasn't as though he'd died or anything, why was Lavi so upset?
The redhead's hands clenched into fists on his knees and lowered his head again. "I'm sorry, Yuu… It's because you were with me, and I'm supposed to die… You're getting hurt, too." Surely that was it; there was no other reason why he would've frozen up like that when he did. Perhaps Allen had decided now was the time to make him die, or maybe he'd gotten a call that said Lavi needed to be taken care of quickly? Either way, it was probably his own fault that Kanda was injured.
Kanda scowled and sat down next to Lavi on the bench. "The shinigami you keep talking about, he's a kid right? A real pale one who's white from head to toe? And that strange scar down his face, that moyashi is the death god, right?"
Lavi looked up at Kanda and blinked in confusion; why was Kanda describing Allen to him?
"U-uh, yeah, that's him," Lavi confirmed, his eyebrows knitting together at the strange question.
"He came to me the other night, saying that we both had to work hard to protect you," Kanda said, dispelling Lavi's doubts about Allen. "He showed up in my dream, called me some names, and then said that another death god was after you, so we'd both had to protect you."
Lavi's eye was wide; Allen had been hoping to protect him? So in that case, the reason he'd frozen where he did was because another death god had stopped him? This was getting ridiculous; just how many death gods could go after one person? Surely Allen would get into trouble because of this, too. He wasn't supposed to protect his charges from death, after all.
'He even went so far as to ask Yuu for help…' Lavi wondered what he'd done to get such a person on his side.
"Kanda-san! Please come here for a moment!" The call came from down the hall, and Kanda nodded in response as he stood.
"I'll be back in a minute," he said, and walked toward the doctor. His figure was quickly replaced by another.
"Feels like I haven't seen you in a while, Allen," Lavi said in lieu of a greeting, and motioned for the boy to sit down. But instead of taking the offer, Allen continued to stand as he looked down at him with an unreadable expression. The boy seemed gravely resolute.
"Oh, right! You've been trying to save me, haven't you Allen? Yuu told me about it," Lavi said with a smile, wanting nothing more than to cheer the boy up; Allen had saved him, after all. "Thank you so much Allen for trying to save me. I'm glad to have met you."
"I'm sorry." The boy's expression suddenly darkened, and for a moment Lavi's eye concentrated on the fresh tears that were quickly making their way down the boy's face. The redhead's eyes widened as he watched, and then he could only see white as Allen hugged him; it was a strange, hot and cold embrace. He felt a hand run over the back of his hair before stopping, and then suddenly he felt light and disconnected, as though he wasn't really in his body anymore. His eye widened then closed, as Allen repeated his apology to him.
Kanda sighed as he walked away from the doctor; the guy wanted him to come back in a week to check up on his shoulder, it was such a pain. It'd taken way too long to schedule one.
"Lavi, we can go no—Lavi?" Kanda furrowed his brows when he saw Lavi slumped over on the bench. Not even the rabbit brat could fall asleep so quickly, this was worrying.
"Hey, get up," Kanda called, placing his hands on Lavi's shoulders. The redhead didn't even stir. "Get up, this isn't funny!" he called again, shaking the other's shoulders. There was no response. Kanda's heart clenched as fear enveloped him. No, no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. Lavi couldn't just die like this, it wasn't right, it wasn't fair.
Almost frantically, Kanda checked for anything that would give the impression of life. He was still breathing, though it was shallow, there was still a weak heartbeat. Lavi was still alive, but he wasn't responding. There was still time.
Kanda ran back to the doctor he'd seen moments ago. He was not going to let Lavi go this time.
"It's a shame, he's only 18 and yet…"
"His pulse is getting weaker and the doctors have no idea what's wrong with him."
"What about the boy staying with him? It would be horribly sad if such a dedicated friend was left behind."
"If this carries on…"
Kanda wished the nurses would shut up. They weren't in the room with him, but the door was half open and he could hear every dismal word they said. It had been two days since Lavi had lost consciousness in the hospital, and no one had any idea why he'd suddenly gone into a coma like he had. There seemed to be no hope for the case, and since Lavi had no known living relatives Yuu knew they'd pull the plug the moment Lavi's heartbeat stopped. They probably would not try to save him, they probably couldn't anyway.
He shook these morbid thoughts out of his head and held Lavi's cool hand tighter in his. Lavi was supposed to be warm; it was always Kanda who had cold hands. He had to be strong though, because if he gave up on Lavi and resigned himself to the other's death, then he would have no right to say he ever loved him. So he had to stay here, watch for any signs of life. He had to be something he never was, hopeful.
"Still sitting there, still as a statue, huh?" Daisya's voice came from the doorway. Kanda looked up to see that Lenalee was there, too. They'd come to visit every day, both to check up on Lavi and to make sure that Kanda didn't starve himself or forget to change, or something ridiculous like that. "Daisya, now is hardly the time," Lenalee scolded her friend for picking on poor Yuu at a time like this. "So has anything changed?"
"Nothing. He's just gotten weaker," Kanda answered in a mechanical voice, his mouth was working even though his mind wasn't. The two walked into the room and kneeled on either side of Kanda's worried form.
"Well hey you can't give up hope yet, right? I mean he's still alive, he could easily wake up," Lenalee said, trying to raise Kanda's spirits. The boy had been so impossibly still and silent since Lavi had fallen unconscious, it was almost hard to tell which person in the room was in a coma.
"Yes, Lavi will probably wake up, stretch and yawn out loud, mumbling about not wanting to go to school. Then we can all yell at him for making us worry, and celebrate his getting better. Lavi's surely doing his best, so we've got to keep our hopes up for him, right?" Daisya added, hoping a bit of humor would maybe lighten the mood. It would be just perfect if Lavi woke up as though nothing was wrong.
Kanda let something close to a hopeful smile grace his lips before looking up at the two.
"So this is the place, huh?" Lavi asked over his shoulder. Allen shook his head behind him.
"This is just where you stay while you undergo trial. It'll take about a week for the court to decide whether you should go to Heaven or Hell. Until that's decided, you'll stay here," Allen said. The two were standing before the gates of purgatory, which looked something like a five-star hotel. Not so bad, in Lavi's humble opinion. He'd certainly never stepped foot in any place so high-class.
"I… I really am sorry, Lavi," Allen said for what was probably the twentieth time since Lavi had died. Once again he waved it off.
"Don't sweat it kid, it was your job and all. I'd have died eventually anyway. I'm just glad you're the one who brought me here, you know?" Lavi said with a smile. It both relieved Allen and made his heart clench painfully with guilt. Lavi was far too forgiving.
"Well, guess there's nothing to do but go in and hope I go to the good place, right?" Lavi asked rhetorically. Allen nodded in response and led him into the land of the dead.
Just passing through the gates of purgatory made everything seem so much more final to Lavi. He wanted to go back and stay with Yuu and his friends, but at the same time he knew the dead couldn't come back to life. In just a few days time his body would surely be buried and there would be nothing for him to return to. He'd accepted this, the fact that one cannot come back to life, and was resigned to it now that he was actually dead.
Of course, if he had known he wasn't actually dead, he might've been a bit more motivated to find a way back to his body. As it was though, not even Allen knew that Lavi's body was still alive.
The two were led to the room that Lavi would be staying in while he was judged by a maid who gave them strange looks the entire time. The room was large with tatami matting and a few futons put away in the corner, but otherwise there was nothing in it. This entire deal seemed so surreal; Lavi still couldn't really believe he was dead. He still felt alive, he was still interacting with people as though he were alive. But then he'd heard that physical death wasn't the real "death" once. It was a distant memory, but once someone had said that real "death" was a separation from God. Maybe that's why he still felt alive, because this death wasn't complete?
Lavi got out a futon and made himself at home, figuring that he might as well since there was no going back to the living world. Allen seemed hesitant to follow suit; it was as though he was the one reluctant to face death. Lavi would've laughed at the irony but the mood was too tense.
Once they were all good and settled in, Allen once again bowed his head to Lavi. The redhead was half-tempted to slap Allen for this.
"I'm sorry for this, Lavi."
"This again? Allen, ya know I don't blame you-"
"-But I wanted to protect you! I wanted you to keep living but…God said I couldn't change fate…"
Lavi remembered what Kanda had told him earlier about Allen coming to him for help. The kid had even gone so far as to work with someone he hated, all to try and keep Lavi safe. In this case, the fact that Allen had tried was enough for Lavi.
Lightly, Lavi pat Allen's head in a consoling manner while giving his most gentle smile. "It's okay, really. You did your best, alright? No need to apologize for that. Besides, because of you I died without regrets! Thank goodness it was you who took me."
Despite himself, Allen's vision became watery and he hung his head. There was just something about the fact that Lavi was grateful to him, that he was glad to have met Allen. It pulled at his heart and made him want to cry, though from what he wasn't entirely sure.
"Ah—you're crying! Geez, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset ya—"
"—I'm not crying…"
"…You're definitely crying."
"I am not, so stop being nosy! S-something just got in my eye is all!" Allen pouted and crossed his arms. He might've felt like crying, but he definitely wasn't. Yet. Lavi just smiled at his stubbornness and pulled him into a hug. The kid was just so cute! Lavi chuckled a bit as Allen attempted to squirm out of the embrace, blushing.
After a moment silence fell over them, and the two rearranged themselves for comfort's sake, lying on the floor. They hadn't really been silent since Lavi died, it almost felt like they were trying to avoid it if they could. But now it had fallen over them like a gentle blanket, much more comfortable than either of them had expected.
'So I'm really dead now, huh…?' Lavi thought to himself as he sighed and closed his eyes. He was oddly at ease here; at this rate he would fall asleep…
Lavi's eyes snapped open and he jolted a bit. Allen stirred against his chest, and gave him a questioning look.
"Daisya?" Lavi mumbled to himself, he was sure that was who he was hearing. But that was impossible, he was dead and Daisya was not, or at least he hoped the boy wasn't.
"His pulse is still getting weaker, just like yesterday."
And now Yuu's voice, too? This was so odd. Why was he hearing them? This was so unfair, he'd resigned himself to this and yet he was still hearing their voices? It was like torture. More than anything, Lavi wanted this to stop. Shaking the voices from his head, Lavi sat back up, unwilling to hear anymore. He didn't bother thinking about what his two friends had been saying.
"Hey Allen, I was wondering about some things and I figure that since we've got the time, I might as well ask," Lavi said, hoping to get Allen talking. If it was too quiet he might start hearing things from the other side again. Really, he hadn't had anything particular to ask about, but he was sure he could make up a few good questions that would have them talking for hours.
Allen sat up and leaned back on his arms, giving Lavi a curious look. "Go ahead and ask then."
"Why could I see you when no one else could?" Lavi had questioned that a while ago, though now it seemed like a pointless thing to wonder about. Still, if it kept the room from falling into silence…
"I don't know why you can see me, but I do know why no one else can," Allen said preparing to go off on a very lecture-like explanation. "You see this weird scar on my face? It's not just for decoration and I wasn't hurt or anything. It's a seal I was born with that stops most living things from seeing me. Some animals still can, and apparently once every century or so someone like you pops up, but for the most part no one can see me because of it."
"Ah, I see," Lavi said, nodding, "But if you were born with it and you haven't really spoken with anyone before you met me, then how do you know what it is?"
"Death gods aren't like humans," Allen said as though it were obvious. Lavi supposed in some ways it was, but Allen looked so human that it was difficult to remember that point. "We are born fully grown, knowing everything we'll ever need to know. From the moment we come into existence we know our purpose, we know we can't be seen, we know of our powers, of other shinigami, and we know how to use the cell phones we're conveniently born with."
"Wait, so you've always known that other shinigami exist, but you never bothered to look for one and… I dunno, stick together or something?" Lavi asked. If he had to lead a life like Allen's while knowing that there were others like himself out there, he wouldn't hesitate to find someone to stay around, if only for the sake of never being bored.
"Well, our first instinct is to do our job, not socialize. There's only a few shinigami, and we've got a whole world to cover. It's very rare for two shinigami to meet since we're so far away from each other. Usually that only happens when someone has done something wrong…" Allen fidgeted for a moment and looked down as Lavi connected what the boy said to their situation; another shinigami had tried to kill Lavi, which meant Allen had gotten in trouble. Lavi felt a bit guilty for knowing he was the cause of it.
"Geez, being a death god sounds… tough, I guess. I don't really know. What was it like for you, before we met? Never thought to ask before, but I really know nothing about you outside of the stuff about you being a shinigami." Lavi was suddenly quite curious about this. After all, Allen might be the only company he had for a good long while; he really ought to try his hardest to learn about the boy.
"Ah, well," Allen seemed to be a bit embarrassed by the idea of talking about himself. It was sort of cute to Lavi. "I came to be about 200 years ago—oh don't look so surprised. But yeah… 200 years ago I just sort of… woke up in some obscure little village way to the north of Japan, near Russia. I knew what I was supposed to do; I was in charge of these islands and the borders of a few of the closer countries…
"I remember getting very bored, very quickly. The nearest shinigami was somewhere in China, and I really couldn't go that far. So I just stayed in my territory, and went from place to place, taking the souls I was supposed to. Somehow there was enough time for me to stick around in some places. I remember watching families after their loved ones had died; they were so disgusting, I didn't understand humans at all. They cried for a few days, and then started arguing among themselves about money and possessions. Every once in a while someone would ignore all of that, but for the most part everyone just became greedy. I don't understand the value of money, so I can't understand why people do this.
"I liked dogs though, because they could see me and they weren't money-hungry or anything. Sometimes they'd follow me around and let me pet them. I guess they made me feel a bit less lonely. Watching people go about their lives before they died made me feel that way, so often the person was happy and unaware of what was coming. I wondered what made people feel like that, if it was something they felt on their own or if it had to do with the others around them. I thought on these things and studied humans as I went on with daily life.
"Recently I started wondering if there was something better out there, something more entertaining than being a death god. I mean, it's not like I can just decide to stop being one, but if I could, what would be best…? Humans, I don't think I really liked them, but they always seem to be having fun in one way or another. Of course, all alone I can't even pretend to be one, but just as I was thinking 'it'd be nice to try,' you came along.
"So basically, life was boring and repetitive and sort of depressing before I met you," Allen finished with a sigh; goodness, it sounded so dreary hearing it from his own mouth like that. Lavi seemed exceptionally engrossed though, he also seemed more than a bit sympathetic toward Allen.
"Well, I'm glad you're not alone anymore! You'll never have to be again, okay Allen? You can visit me in Heaven anytime, okay? So be sure to come by as often as you can!" Lavi seemed very determined to make sure Allen was never alone again, and the boy couldn't help but wonder why. It was touching though, Allen felt so good knowing that Lavi cared enough to be upset by something that seemed so small to him.
"I'll stop by every chance I get," Allen said with a warm smile.
A week had gone by with Allen, and Lavi was finally accepting that this is what death was like. It wasn't eternal darkness or disappearing for good and it felt no different from being alive really, except that he didn't have to eat or sleep, though he could still do both. Everything was fine during the day, but as soon as night fell he started to hear his friends again, and he didn't know why. He always tried to block out their voices, he didn't want to hear whatever it was they were saying. It would remind him of living and he would miss it.
As it was, he had hardly left the room he'd been given all week, and neither had Allen as for as Lavi knew. The boy was just sort of always there, which was strange considering he was in charge of such a large area of people. Didn't tens of thousands of people die a day in Japan? Maybe only certain people needed to have their souls guided to Heaven and maybe some just knew how to get there? Whatever the case was, Allen seemed to have nothing better to do than sit around and talk with Lavi, which was just fine with the redhead.
Lavi yawned as he sat up in his futon. Waking up didn't feel like waking up here, or perhaps it was sleeping that different? There was no feeling of fatigue, so there was no sense of renewal after sleeping. By his side Allen was laying on another futon, just staring at the ceiling as he was apt to do; apparently he couldn't sleep no matter where he was. Lavi yawned a bit again before leaning over and placing a light kiss on Allen's forehead.
He hadn't forgotten that he was to be Allen's after he died, but it would probably take a while for him to actually treat Allen in a clearly amorous sort of way. He realized Yuu would die one day too and therefore a bit of a problem might arise, but he'd cross that bridge when he got to it. Besides, there would only be a problem if Kanda somehow managed to not find someone better than him in the whole wide world. The thought of being replaced in Kanda's heart was more than a little irksome, but Lavi certainly had no right to interfere now.
Allen flushed at the contact of lips to his skin; he was such an innocent that way. He sat up and gave Lavi a hug, one that lasted several minutes because neither of them really felt like moving. It wasn't like there was much else to do anyway, as far as Lavi knew.
Apparently for Allen there was something though, as abruptly he broke away from the older-looking boy and stood up.
"I nearly forgot, today's the day they decide where you go," Allen said, sounding rushed. "Oh, what time is it? I can't be late to the hearing…" Allen paced about for a minute before thinking to check his cell phone. Lavi laughed a bit and idly wondered just why time was needed in a place like this. Allen made a face that clearly said he needed to go now, and Lavi was still chuckling when he said a quick goodbye.
Lavi yawned as he got ready to spend the day waiting for his verdict. He was really hoping for a good one, because he'd heard more than a few unpleasant things about Hell in his lifetime and didn't want to spend his afterlife finding out if those things were true.
However, he stopped thinking on those things when he heard them again, the voices of his friends. Just hearing them made him feel like he was already in a hell of sorts, and he desperately wanted to silence them.
'Just go away, go away, go awa-'
"What do you mean you're going to pull the plug on him?!"
Pull the plug? That was Kanda's voice yelling just then, but what was he talking about? Was someone else dying, too?
"Lavi-san has no relatives to speak of, and his medical insurance will only pay for life support for so long. In this case, the people who have any say in the matter have decided that if he doesn't wake up by next week we should take him off of life support."
"So you're going to kill him just because of that? You're a doctor for Heaven's sake, shouldn't you be determined to save his life!?" It was Daisya's voice yelling, not Kanda's this time. Lavi could assume Lenalee was with him.
"How can you expect us to do that when we have no idea what's wrong with him? At this rate, he'll die by the end of the week even if we don't pull the plug."
"Shouldn't you wait and see if that actually happens before you just decide that he will?"
"We're sorry, Kanda-san, but this is beyond my control."
Wait. Oh goodness, wait. So Lavi's body was on life support? Life support? It wasn't cold and buried in the ground? Didn't that mean that Lavi was physically still alive? Was that why he didn't feel particularly dead, because he wasn't? Why had no one told him he was alive?
Immediately Lavi stood up from where he sat and for once tried his hardest to listen to Kanda's voice as he argued with the doctor who was apparently in charge of Lavi's case. Now that he paid close attention, the voice wasn't actually in his head so much as it was coming from somewhere else. Lavi didn't know his way around Purgatory's complex. He would follow the sound anyway.
Goodness, what a fool he'd been! To think just a few moments before he was worried about going to Hell, thinking he was really dead! But he wasn't, his soul just wasn't in the right place. He needed to get back, there had to be a way back. Now that he knew he was alive, he wanted to fight for life, he wanted to go back! If he just followed the sound of Yuu's voice…!
He ran down hall after hall, not caring who he bumped into. Lavi was determined to find the source of that beloved voice; he hoped it would lead him back to his body, back to Earth. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of running he stopped before a door; the sound was definitely originating from the room on the other side. He just had to go in and hopefully he'd find his way home.
The door slid open easily, and Lavi rushed in, closing it silently behind him. When he finally took a look around the room, he saw the place the voice had come from. On the far wall there hung a long mirror that hovered just above a small pond. The mirror did not reflect the room or the pond however; instead it reflected a hospital room. His hospital room. Lenalee and Daisya were in the doorway, and right between Yuu and an aging doctor Lavi's body lay, looking pale and worse for wear, but alive. He was still alive, he really was. How could he have ever given up so easily? He ran to the mirror, touched its glass, but the moment he did it turned black under his fingers.
Allen was excited to tell Lavi that he'd been sent to Heaven. He wanted the redhead to be eternally happy there, since he couldn't save his life. Securing Lavi a place there was the least he could do to make up for that. He panicked when he arrived at Lavi's room only to find that he was no longer there. Lavi didn't like leaving the room; he'd said he didn't want to bother exploring a place he wasn't going to stay in. Allen immediately left and began his hunt for Lavi.
Of course, he had no idea where the guy would go and Purgatory wasn't really a small place, he could be anywhere. Of all the times for the redhead to get lost! He checked every room along the hall, hoping that perhaps Lavi had just taken a wrong turn while trying to go back to his own and ended up in a vacant one. It didn't take long before he found a room that wasn't empty. For a moment he hesitated at the door; he could hear something that sounded like crying coming from the other side. Maybe this was the room of someone new who wasn't coping well with death? It would be rude to barge in. Still, he had to check!
When Allen opened the door, he knew immediately he'd found the right one. Kneeling before a pond that reflected a mirror, Lavi was sniffling away, trying to stop his tears from falling now that he'd heard someone enter the room.
Allen was pretty sure that this was the first time he'd seen Lavi really cry. It was so upsetting, he'd hoped he'd never see Lavi's crying face. Why was he so sad, anyway? Allen walked slowly over to him, not wanting to startle him any more than he already had.
"-I-I'm still alive."
"Huh?" How could that be? Lavi's soul was here, it was going to go to Heaven soon, he couldn't be alive.
"I've been h-hearing them all week, the v-voices of my friends, of Yuu, everyone… I thought it was just me at first, but when I came in here, they were reflected in the mirror…" Lavi mumbled under his breath as it stopped shaking. "Please Allen!" –The redhead was suddenly at Allen's feet, taking his hands and looking up at him imploringly- "I don't care what happens to me now, I'll do my best not to cause you trouble, but I want to see them again! Yuu was right there a moment ago, I want to see that again!"
Just once, he'd be okay if he could just say goodbye, even if it was only to a reflection.
Allen's eyes widened as he listened to Lavi go on. If Lavi was still alive, then why was he here? And why should he stay here? Lavi said he just wanted to see them, but really Allen knew he wanted to be back. He wanted to go back to Earth.
"Please," Lavi was begging, Allen had never seen him this undone, "Just let me see them…"
"Lavi," Allen said, stopping the redhead from saying anymore. He put his hands on Lavi's shoulders to steady him. "Go back to Kanda's side."
For a moment Lavi blinked owlishly up at Allen. When the mirror had gone black, he was sure that meant there was no way for him to return, he was so sure that meant he was really and truly dead even though his body wasn't yet. But Allen's face was serious; he looked as though he thought this was truly possible.
"This world should be connected to yours, there has to be a way to get you back there," Allen continued, his expression serious. "I don't know if this will work, but we should still try." The shorter of the two walked over to the mirror and pressed his hand flat against the glass. It shimmered and seemed to ripple with power.
"But wait a second..!" Lavi ran over to grab Allen and stop him; this was against the rules wasn't it? It wasn't possible anyway; Allen himself said that they couldn't fight fate. "Won't you get in trouble if you try to save me? You told me just the other day that shinigami get punished when they go against fate!"
Allen was too busy concentrating on the mirror to listen to Lavi. He didn't care if he got into trouble, he didn't care what happened to himself at all. Lavi would be happier with his friends right now, he'd be happier with Kanda right now, and that was all that mattered. After a moment it seemed Allen's efforts had paid off as an image shakily came to the glass pane. Lavi's slowly dying body was shown in the mirror, along with Kanda, who was now alone in the room again, his expression pained.
Lavi stopped trying to force Allen away from the mirror. He was too captivated by the image to say anything more. However just as the image came to the screen the door was shoved open forcefully. The two turned around to see Cross in the doorway, looking angry.
"What do you think you snots are doing?!" He yelled, storming up to them. Allen quickly turned away from the other shinigami and shoved Lavi into the shallow waters of the pond.
"Quickly Lavi, get inside!" Allen said as he kept pushing the redhead toward the glass. He then took a protective stance in front of his charge and glared at Cross.
"I am going to save him!" He declared his determined stare was matched with an angry one.
"Don't you care what will happen to yourself?" Cross yelled. "Don't you care that you will disappear? You can't come back the way humans do!"
"I don't care," Allen answered firmly. Lavi looked sharply at Allen; what was going to happen as a result of this? He'd been told that shinigami get punished, but he didn't know the punishment was true and eternal death. He couldn't let Allen just disappear because of him, it wasn't right.
"Wait a minute Allen! If you'll disappear forever it isn't worth it-"
"It is! Besides, no one really knows what happens when shinigami die, no one can say that I won't come back!"
Lavi backed away from the mirror and got out of the water. He wasn't going to let Allen disappear because of him. It wasn't fair that Allen had to die, truly and permanently die, just to stop Lavi from going to the afterlife. At least if Lavi died, he'd still exist somewhere, but if Allen did then…!
"No! I'm not going Allen, this isn't fair! You, shinigami in the black! I'm just gonna die peacefully so you make sure this idiot doesn't disappear, ya hear me?" Lavi yelled to Cross as he stuck to the wall adjacent to the mirror. Cross nodded as though he'd made the right choice.
Allen, on the other hand, chuckled and put his hand to Lavi's cheek. "That's what I love about you, Lavi," he said with a smile, "Even though I was so immature and horrible, you want to save me." Lavi looked down at the boy's serene face; it was as though nothing would make him happier than saving Lavi now. He leaned forward and gave Lavi a gentle kiss that stunned the redhead. Allen had never initiated anything more than a hug. That kiss was so sweet, just like the boy who'd given it.
Without his bidding, Lavi's body moved back toward the water. He felt as though he'd lost control of his body, and wondered if that was the effect of Allen's kiss, or something else.
"I'm really glad you gave me a name, Lavi, and I promise this is worth it. So please be happy, okay?" Allen said kindly as the two stepped before the mirror. He hugged Lavi from behind one last time as the taller boy looked down.
"Don't Allen… Don't disappear…!"
Lavi fell through the glass, remembering everything that had happened since he'd met the death god. This wasn't what he wanted, he'd gladly die peacefully if Allen would just live! This wasn't worth it, it wasn't…!
Lavi's eyes felt heavy as he opened them. The sounds of electric beeping filled his ears, along with the soft breathing of someone else. The air smelt funny and there was something on his face. Lavi turned his head to the side to see Kanda staring at him with wide eyes.
"L-Lavi…?" Kanda was still for a moment as he watched Lavi blink at him, and then suddenly rocketed out of his seat. "Thank goodness! Just wait for a moment; I'll go get a doctor!" He said hurriedly, before running out of the room. Lavi was grateful to be alone for a moment as he got reacquainted with living.
The ceiling above him was shimmering; Lavi imagined that was the portal his soul had just traveled through. It disappeared a moment later. A tear trickled down the side of his face as he imagined what his living meant for Allen.
But he was alive now, and for Allen's sake he'd live to the fullest.
"We need to buy more than just ramen you idiot!"
"Why? It's cheap and it's good, no need for more!"
Lavi walked side by side with Yuu through the market, debating what they would and would not need to stock their apartment with. They were university students now, sharing an apartment near their university together. Lavi had not died even after his original time was up, and now he was attending classes with Kanda, living with him, acting like some sort of hen-pecked husband as Kanda went on about how Lavi really needed to eat healthier because sodium was really truly going to be the death of him.
Lavi was still living as happily as he ever had, even happier than that on most days, and he never forgot who he had to thank for that. He was going to live the life Allen had given him to the fullest, and so he was throwing himself into it with everything he had.
"Can't we just get a little though? I mean our budget really doesn't allow for—ah!" Lavi gave a small gasp as something solid connected with his chest. His hands immediately came up to catch the object and he looked down to see a shock of silvery hair. His heart stopped for a moment as the person—a child really—looked up at him with wide, summer-storm eyes. For a moment the two just stared at each other, recognition in Lavi's eyes. As for the boy, he looked as though he was experiencing déjà vu.
"-E-excuse me!" The boy said politely, embarrassed for having stared so long. He broke out of Lavi's loose grip and ran past him, his face a bit red. Lavi looked to Kanda, who'd seen the whole thing, and Kanda looked back. Lavi then looked back and forth between Kanda and the retreating figure.
"Yuu—that wasn't—was it?"
Kanda turned Lavi's face forward, his expression a mix of denial and disbelief. "Just don't think about," he said with a sigh, and the two walked on. Lavi was undeniably happier though, inside he was celebrating.
Yes, death wasn't really the end!
Saya should just say now that she doesn't believe in reincarnation, she doesn't believe that everyone goes to heaven just because their "a good person" and that the religious views portrayed in this story may or may not be her own. Yeah. And there you go, the ending! Saya actually really likes this ending. She didn't wanna kill Allen off completely, so he gets to randomly pop up at the end. Go Allen, you shall never be defeated!!
And sorry about the lateness of this post…Saya just sort of forgot about it while diving head-first into a new fandom…