OMG!! THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!! ILY GUYS!! And because there are so many other hilarious things u can do at Walmart, I decided to write a second chapter. I hope you guys like it! REVIEW!!
In the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett kneeling over with laughter and the stupid employee from the alarm clock aisle with two security guards. I grabbed Emmett and we fast walked to the exit. As soon as we were out of Walmart, we ran for it. I threw opened my truck when Emmett was putting the keys in. As soon as I slammed the door shut, we screeched out of the parking lot. As soon as we pulled up to the driveway, we cracked up and howled with laughter. After a few minutes of laughing, I noticed someone was standing outside my truck. I turned and saw Edward, with a huge grin and happiness in his eyes. I threw open the door and launched myself at him. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big squeeze. I looked up and he asked,
"Did you have fun?"
I looked up at his gorgeous face and smiled.
With that, I smashed my face onto his cold marble one. We had a make out session until Emmett cleared his throat.
"This is all touching and I regret interrupting but I think Bella needs some food."
To prove his statement, my stomach growled. Emmett grinned maliciously.
"I guess that means we have to go to Walmart again…"
The three of us climbed into Edward's Volvo and shot off towards they place me and Emmett loved so very much. Instead of screeching into a parking space like last time, Edward calmly parked and we walked inconspicuously into Walmart. I breathed a sigh of relief when security guards didn't grab us as we walked through the entrance.
"I'm guessing you're going to need some cereal."
Edward grabbed a cart and wheeled it towards the aisle with cereal. I glanced behind me and saw Emmett pushing two more carts.
"What are you doing?
"I have a lot of stuff to buy…"
"Of course you do."
"I knew you would believe me!"
Without another word, he skipped up to the costumer service and rang the little bell at the counter. The employee turned around and jumped in surprise. His huge body was a little intimidating compared to the small employee.
"May I help you?" he asked timidly.
"UH DUH! I want a big mac and a number seven, a large diet coke, and some fries please."
The employee started to say something when Emmett cut him off.
"Oh and I want it to go."
"Ummm… I'm sorry but I can't give you any of that. But maybe you should try McDonalds…"
"It's because I'm gay isn't it? I expected this from Walgreens but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else you know. You disgust me."
Emmett turned smartly on his heels and marched over to me. One look at the employee's face and that set me off. I laughed so hard that I almost fell over. Emmett and Edward were the same and together we staggered to the cereal aisle. I threw a box of Lucky Charms in the cart and we continued shopping for the next twenty minutes without pulling a prank. When I was finally finished, I turned to Emmett and Edward and asked,
"Do you guys need anything?"
"Oh yeah, I wanted to get some camping stuff and I need some… personal things…"
So we headed off to the camping department. First we stopped at the fishing aisle and Emmett examined some rods.
"This one looks sturdy enough…"
He cast the fishing rod over into the next aisle and we all heard an ow. He reeled in the line and guess what he caught? A box of condom. Yup, we fished at Walmart and caught a box of condom. Interesting isn't it? We peeked over the aisle and saw Mike Newton (a guy that had a major crush on me) looking like a lobster with blond hair. His face was deep red, almost purple, and he was shaking. We ducked down before he saw us and howled with laughter. We all fell on the ground and rolled around laughing while shoppers looked at us like we were orange octopi. When we finally got up, Emmett told us that he had caught from Mike the personal thing he had to buy. Edward and I looked at him with disgust written on our faces as wrong images popped into our heads. He looked at the box of condoms and said,
"There's only five condoms in here, I'm gonna have to get some more."
He tossed the box into one of his carts and wheeled off to the aisle with condoms. Edward and I reluctantly followed while we tried to get the images out of our heads. When we got to the aisle, Emmett tossed five boxes of condoms into the cart.
"Why do you need more than 25 condoms?
"I don't. I'm going to use it to inspire some people."
He bounced away and we followed him with wary expressions.
"Hey I have to get a present for Rosalie so we need to go to the lingerie section."
Edward and I exchanged disgusted faces and continued following Emmett. As we passed an elderly man, Emmett secretly tossed a box of condoms into his cart. By the time we reached the lingerie section, he had tossed one into a elderly woman's cart, a couple of lesbians' cart (don't ask how we knew they were lesbos), and a teenage girl's cart. We all tried very hard to keep a straight face. Emphasize on TRIED. At the lingerie section, Emmett inspected a black frilly thong and with a nod of contempt, he stuck it on his head. Then he picked up the skimpiest, pinkest bra and tossed it into a cart. He marched boldly out of the section; ignoring all the weird looks he was given. Then he headed into the women's clothes section. He hid in a rack of fish net tights and instructed us to stand unnoticeably away from the rack. After a few minutes, an old lady came and browsed through the rack. Then a deep voice said
"Me! Me! Pick me! I'll seduce the old man!"
Terror dominated the old woman's face and she scurried away without another glance. This happened a few more time with a chubby teen looking desperately for an XXXL, a middle aged woman, and a girl that dressed very revealingly. The three of us laughed our heads off until the old woman came back with security guards. We walked quickly to the exit forgetting our carts. We fast walked out of Walmart and into the Volvo. While dying with laughter, we sped off to home, forgetting about the food we were going to buy for the second time.
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