The Fall of Anakin Skywalker
I've always wanted more, more than the Jedi order permitted. Something I can't explain, something that's always been there since the very beginning of my training, like a splinter, a hunger, desire, lust for power. I know, I should have been grateful, for I was more gifted then any Jedi in the council, my medichlorian count surpassing that of even master Yoda, but it was never enough. I've always wanted more, and more, the desire to be more powerful, eating away inside of me, consuming me, a burning shadow, a demon I can never escape.
It was on the scorched volcanic banks of Mustafa, Anakin died, and from the Flames, smoke and ashes, Darth Vader was born. I remember the day more vividly than any other, It was the day I had discovered the true nature of the dark side, the day any light, hope or goodness in Anakin Skywalker was destroyed, lost in the endless, burning rivers of lava, smoke and flames.
Padme's ship landed outside the Trade federation bunker, I was relieved to lay my eyes upon her face once again, she had a look on her face I can never forget. She looked at me like she didn't recognize me, I could see it in the sadness in her eyes, the despair, for she knew what I had become, what I had done. As I spoke to her, she looked away, she couldn't bare to sustain eye contact. She begged me to tell her it wasn't true, what I had done, what I was. My heart sank, as I realized she knew, and that realization enabled me to see what I had become, I feared losing her, more than anything in the galaxy. That fear is what drove me to the dark side.
It wasn't soon before the dark side took over my emotions, and my fear turned into anger, and hatred. I sensed Obi-wan's presence. Blinded with anger I lost all consciousness, I choked her, using the dark side, I lifted her with my hatred, a few inches off the ground, from the look in her eyes, I could tell she was already dead inside. A familiar voice echoed from her ship, "let her go Anakin". The sound of my former master was enough to make me realize for a split second what I was doing, and I let go of her, she fell to the floor, I looked at her, and couldn't believe what I had done. Obi-wan walked down the ship's ramp. I blamed Obi-wan, almost instantly, for I thought he had taken her away from me, I was so blinded with anger that I didn't see that It was me that had taken her away from myself, anger and rage quickly built up within me, and I ignited my lightsaber.
We duelled, just like we used to, in the Jedi training room, I was victorious then, and I knew I would be now. Our sabres of blue light smashed against one another, fiercely and brutally, for this was not a duel with training sabres, sabres that didn't burn or cut. Obi-wan's defensive swordplay proved hard to overcome, but I knew that I would emerge victorious, for I am the chosen one, it would be my destiny. I finally broke Obi-wan's defence, my sabre, glowing with light, at his neck, he grabbed it, and tried to resist, but steadily, closer, and closer it came to his neck. A sharp kick sent the sabre out of my hand, I quickly recovered it, but by that time, so had he. The duel then moved to the outside the bunker. The heat was indescribable, our lightsaber conflict took us to the lava rivers. It was there we were separated when most of the structure of the artificial land was destroyed in the blaze, that is Mustafa's volcanic entity. I leapt onto a speeder platform, and it took me to a bank, which at the top Obi-wan was standing. "I have the high ground, you've lost" he exclaimed, blinded with power I felt invincible, I felt like I could overcome anything, I felt like a god, I flipped into the air.
Obi-wan swung his lightsabre. I felt a sharp burn, and in a split second I saw my legs and arm fall from me, down the bank into the lava, helplessly I slipped down the bank, Obi-wan, almost in tears, screamed words at me from up the bank, I couldn't hear him, my mind was so filled with rage at my affliction, I couldn't hear anything besides the burning winds of the lava river, I was falling towards, I tried to grip the side of the banks, but my legs were gone, and my mechanical hand just broke the ground, slowly I slipped into the lava. I could feel the freshly cut wound of my legs ignite on fire, I moaned in pain, the flame soon spread to my chest, my skin burning, and aching, my hair, once beautiful, turned to dust and ashes, and my face scarred and burnt, my lips charred, every move was agony, my flesh scorched by the flames, and my lungs inflamed by the smoke I had inhaled. Obi-wan couldn't bare to look, and turned away, he left me there, for he couldn't bare to kill a helpless dying man, and decided to leave my fate to the will of the force.
With my mechanical hand, I grabbed the rocks, they broke under its strength, but I carried on, and on, and on, moving inch by inch, each with immense agony at the movement of my burning body. I saw through my burnt, dying eyes Palatine's ship land, to which point, I blacked out from the pain.
I awoke on an operating table, awake while the droids performed resurrection surgery on me, I screamed in the pain, and hit the droids away from me, but such movement caused me more agony, my raw flesh infused with mechanical replacements, I witnessed my lungs, my burnt, blackened lungs removed from my damaged body, and replaced with an artificial oxygen pump, my charred vocal chords replaced with a vocabulator, and my legs and arms replaced with hideous cybernetic limbs, tubes were forced down my throat. I caught a glimpse of my appearance in the reflection of one of the droids, it was then I had realized how hideous I was, and my spirit was broken, leaving nothing, but Darth Vader. The final piece of the suit lowered onto my head, a mask, as it lowered I could see the red tint in it's photoreceptors, a red tint I would forever have on the world. The mask covered my hideous, almost monstrous face, and the suit was complete, and as was Darth Vader.
"can you hear me lord vader", the ghastly voice of my master whispered.
"yes...my master", as I spoke I did not recognise the voice which came from me, the metallic baritone voice, that will haunt me for the rest of my eternity. I don't even use my voice to speak anymore, I don't even breathe, the flames consumed my lungs, the pump is all I have, and it breathes for me, making a loud sound as oxygen is passed around my body, a surge of raw pain from every breath. My eyes, my once beautiful brown eyes, burnt and weakened, relying on the photoreceptors of my mask to show a hideous simulacrum of the world around me, but perhaps the simulacrum is perfect, and it is the world around me that is hideous. In this blazing moment I finally realize the trap of the dark side. I can remember the power that I once had, but that power is only a shadow now, It's gone, and I will never be what I was. In my lust for power I lost everything, including my power. I am far weaker then I used to be, relying on machinery to survive every agonizing second. In my despair I wanted to destroy the shadow, but the shadow is all I had left.
Days after my resurrection I attempted to use the dark side of the force, in an attempt to return my body to its former self. but It became impossible, as I could never concentrate enough purified hatred and anger, the relief of seeing my former self, and being free from my constant agony, broke my concentration, and the scarred, charred, scorched, pain filled Darth Vader returned. This was the final trap of the dark side, hatred wasn't enough to cure my affliction, and it was my hatred that killed Padme, I lost everything in one moment, the moment that will forever haunt me, and destroy me, Anakin Skywalker died, and Darth Vader was born.