Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own the band, Say Anything (obviously), or their song Wow I Can Get Sexual Too but I did alter it a bit for this fanfic. :)

Summary: Dumbledore has installed a new system into Hogwarts, Wizarding Instant Messaging. Ron and Harry have an interesting conversation...

Warnings: Slash. Language. Talk of masturbation. Sex.


Wow I Can Get Sexual Too

Song: Wow I Can Get Sexual Too by Say Anything

"I called him on the phone and he touched himself"


TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived has signed in.

RoonilWazlib: Hey, Harry.

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Hey, Ron...what's with the name?

RoonilWazlib: Um...

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Is there a Spell-Checking Quill for the Wizarding Instant Messaging.

RoonilWazlib: Shut up!

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: You know you like my sexy humor.


TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: um...so...QUIDDITCH!

RoonilWazlib: Have you realized how large Viktor Krum is?

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: In what sense, Ronniekins?

RoonilWazlib: Are you trying to tell me you have never looked at another guys package?

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Well of course I have, but only to remind myself that I am bigger.

RoonilWazlib: Yeah right, in your dreams.

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Like you're any bigger than me.

RoonilWazlib: Betcha I am.

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Liar.

RoonilWazlib: Whatever...I WIN!

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Ok Ronniekins.

RoonilWazlib: Really?! You are going to let me win?!

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Um, yeah. why?

RoonilWazlib: I at least wanted to win a fair fight!

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Fine, I am bigger than you.

RoonilWazlib: HEY! You just said I won.

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Are you PMSing?

RoonilWazlib: Ha. Ha. Ha. Very Funny. What are you, ten?

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: No, I am sixteen thank you.

RoonilWazlib: Hey, Harry...

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Yeah Ron?

RoonilWazlib: Have you ever...you know...wanked with someone?

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Once...with Seamus when Dean went on holiday and he had no one to shag. You?

RoonilWazlib: Once with Dean when Seamus was on holiday...strange isn't it?

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: I guess...but what happened with you?

RoonilWazlib: You promise not to tell or laugh?

TheBoyWhoIncidentallyLived: Definately, mate.

RoonilWazlib: Well, I woke up with morning wood and I stood up and Seamus had morning wood too. He came over to me and he said how he could handle no jerking off another moment. One thing led to another you know...

Ron typed in the last line on his small keyboard and put the small cellphone like contraption in his back pocket, waiting for Harry's response.

Ron pushed open the boys common room door and saw Harry sitting on his bed with his hand down his pants.


"Wow," Harry pants, "I can get sexual too."