Please review. I'm posting this last minute for tonight, but please review!
"Jasper, I don't like it," I whined. I know I was acting like a child, but it was as if I were surrounded by dogs. I couldn't see us, I couldn't see Bella, I couldn't see anything. It was black. I didn't know why it was happening, but it was. I didn't like it, and I wanted it to stop.
"I know," he said. I had been more or less sobbing into his chest for the past two hours, that tearless sobbing that came with the being a vampire. He had been so good, putting up with my childish complaining.
"It hurts, and the future is black for once. Jasper, it's black. I can't see anything, I can't be sure of anything. Please make it go away, please?" I begged. I had tried this, and he had comforted me, but hopefully he would be able to do something about it. He had to. He always knew what to do.
"I know, baby, I know. We can't do anything, you know Rosalie won't allow it," he said, his voice contorted with pain. I didn't need to have any power to know he was hurting because he couldn't help me. And it didn't help. It never did. It just made this hurt worse. I continued to sob, harder than before. I wanted it to stop, I wanted to know what was happening! His hand was petting my hair, rubbing all the styling supplies out of it, and I could have cared less. I needed it to go away. I wanted to see what was coming.
I shook my head. The headache that had formed in the past few days was only growing worse with the passing minutes. Jasper had to restrain me from ripping that… that… thing out of Bella. I wasn't supposed to have these pains. It wasn't right, it wasn't normal.
"Shh, shh, it'll all be right, honey," he said softly. That made me angry, for some unnamed reason.
"How can you say that? How can you say it'll be alright when I can't be certain? It's frustrating, Jasper. Not knowing what comes next, not knowing what my next move on the board should be," I said, complaining again. Yes, there was an edge to my voice, but I didn't care. I was scared. I was mad, I was uncertain. Everything I had never been before. We were in the attic, the furthest place in the house from Bella and that… thing.
I heard Edward whisper an apology, and knew what it was about. I didn't reply. So far as I was concerned, I didn't care about what he had to say. Jasper replied, but I didn't pay attention to what he said.
"Jasper?" I whispered into his chest. He looked down at me while I looked up. "Can we go hunting?" I asked, looking directly into his honey colored eyes. Mine were the same color, and we had just hunted yesterday, but I needed to get out of the house. At least that gave me some relief.
"Alice, we went hunting yesterday, and the day before. If we continue, the forest will run out of animals," he said, soothingly again. I put my puppy dog face on, trying to get him to side with me, but I could tell it wasn't going to work. It never did.
"We can go further away. We don't have to stay here, we can take a trip. Just the two of us. That would be nice," I said quickly. I wouldn't mind being away for a week. That wouldn't be bad. It would be nice.
"You know they need us here," he said. Reason was fueling his words, and making my argument meaningless. But he was right, sadly. They did need us here. Carlisle had no idea when the thing was due, and if something happened and someone attacked Bella – because God forbid the thing-carrier was hurt – we would need to get them away before the thing or Bella was hurt. I could care less if the thing was hurt, or killed, but everyone else seemed to care. Except Edward. Thankfully. But there was an itching at the back of my head that told me that would change soon.
"I know, but I don't like it," I said, snuggling my head in his chest. I felt his hand come up under my chin and pull my face towards his, and let him do whatever he wanted. Any kind of distraction would be welcome at this point. He kissed me, softly, but passionately, and it was a very good distraction. The pain didn't go away like I'd hoped it would, but I found if I paid attention to the kiss, the pain wasn't so strong.
He pulled away, seemingly about to ask something, but as soon as our lips lost contact, the pain was in full force, worse even. I pulled his head gently back to mine and kissed him, happy to see that he kissed back. His arms slid down to my waist, and guided me to the wall. It took my by surprise, but I didn't mind. I wrapped my arms around his neck, never breaking the kiss, and put my legs around his waist tightly.
His reaction to this was pushing me against the wall harder. Soon, there was no space between us. My hands dislodged themselves from his neck, and went to the top of his shirt, and ripped the back of it. Right now I wasn't in the nice mood. I was in pain, and I was going to make the most of this. He didn't seem to care, but quickly removed the rest of his shirt, and mine. They say practice makes perfect, but I didn't think so. Every time for us was an adventure, and I didn't want it any other way.
We only broke our kiss once, and in that short time we managed to remove the rest of our clothes. And as usual, he didn't wait for permission to enter. He didn't have to, because I usually knew when that would happen, but I found it was more pleasurable not knowing when he was going to enter.
We had never done this against a wall before, although he seemed to grow used to it immediately. It did give much more support than the bed, leaving no room for his thrusts to push me away while filling me, which only gave me more reason to moan. He must have been enjoying this a lot, because I soon felt twice as much love and pleasure flowing through my body. I loved it when that happened. Yes, it meant that this time was almost finished, but that made it all the more better. My eyes were shut tightly, something I wished would never happen, but it always did.
I never wanted to take my eyes off Jasper, but I was always forced to somehow. I wasn't complaining, but I knew he looked at me, and I wanted to look at him during these times as well. I felt his finish, and felt mine come right after. I couldn't help but wonder how much time had passed. The only thing I felt in that time was pleasure, and the feeling of him filling me, and no pain. I would gladly go at this for Bella's entire… pregnancy, if one could even call that, but our family wouldn't be too happy with that. It had happened once before, and the outcome was a broken wall, thanks to Rosalie and Emmett. It wasn't their fault, yes, but it had come dangerously close to one of the vehicles in the garage, I was just happy it wasn't mine.
But nevertheless, it ended, and the pain slowly came back. I opened my eyes to see we had somehow ended up on the floor. I looked around with a confused look on my face, and then smiled up at Jasper shyly.
"I think we need clothes," I said quietly. He smiled back at me. It seemed as if the world had disappeared, and that included the pain.
"Do you really?" he asked. I looked at him with his devilish grin, and laughed, nodding my head.
"It would be hard to explain what we're doing like this if someone were to walk in," I said. His grin faded, and I knew that I was right. He got up slowly, hating having to do it, and put his pants on quickly. It was the only article of clothing that hadn't been torn. I picked up his ripped shirt and put it around my body, not surprised to see that it still covered everything. He mouthed 'I'll be right back,' and I nodded.
Less than two minutes later, he was back, and we were both dressed. And of course, the pain had come back in full. This was a good day, but the pain was darkening that good day.
Thankfully Jasper understood completely, and we were embracing again, harmless embracing.
"Thank you," I whispered. I felt him nod. It was nice that Jasper knew how I felt about everything, and it was even more amazing that he could keep up with how often and drastic my mood changed. Not many people would be able to do that, and his power had nothing to do with his knowing how I felt, I was positive of it. If only every day could be as perfect (not including the headache) as this one, I would give anything. Anything but him. I couldn't imagine what I would do without him, especially in this pain.
My hands were trembling from the pain, I now realized. It was only getting worse and worse, and I could do nothing to stop it. The multi-momentary distraction from the pain only seemed to make it worse, and again I was tempted to just do it again, and again. But I had good self control. His hands were around mine, trying to stop the shaking, but it wasn't helping much. He stopped that attempt, and put his arms around me fully, and hugged me as tightly as he could against his body.
"If I could do anything to stop this pain, Alice, I would," he said, more to himself than me, but it felt good to hear it all the same.
"I love you, more than you could ever sense," I said in response, and he kissed me gently on top of my head.