A.N: Ok, here's the conclusion all of you seem so desperate to have. Lol! Now do you guys realize what I would have put all of us through if I would have posted this all at once?! My ass was aching by the time I was done writing, let alone re-reading. O.o; Maybe that was too much information. Lol! So, both Kit-chan and I worked long and hard (Stop giggling, damn you!) on this story, so please, let us know what you think. Too long? Too wordy? Too much in general?! Lol! Constructive critiscism, please! XD
And once again, super sparkly thanks to Kitsune55 for beta-ing this chapter for me, even whilst being as busy as she was. I know you guys are all totally jealous because my beta is the epitome of awesomeness. Yes, most definitely awesome. Lol!
Dis-freaking-claimer: I do not "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade, nor do I own Death Note. Though if I did, you know it would be even crazier than it already is. And not in the good way. Lol! Now go read! Shoo!
"So breathe in so deep-
Breathe me in;
I'm yours to keep…
And hold onto your words,
Cuz talk is cheap.
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep.
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day-
I swear it's true.
Because a girl like you is impossible to find…"
-"Fall For You" By Secondhand Serenade
Title: Fall For You
Chapter Three: I'm Yours to Keep
Raito tapped his foot against the sidewalk, having lost any and all patience five minutes ago. As many knew, Raito did not like having to wait for people when a set time was in place and said person said they were going to be there.
It wasted his time.
Raito did not like it when his time was wasted.
And of course, who was the person wasting said time?
"Of course, he decides to be late today…"
Well, that was quite obvious, now wasn't it?
Raito spun around at the sound of his name, ready to curse the ungrateful asshole who had kept him waiting for over twenty minutes, when a frantic L grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the gate Raito had been leaning against and in the opposite direction of the library.
"L Lawliet, what the hell do you think you're-"
"Raito-kun, less talking and more running!"
Raito shivered, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
"OH MY GOD, COME BACK RAITO!"
'Oh dear mother fucking shit…'
"WE LOVE YOU RAITO!"
"Oh my flipping God, you lead my fan girls right to me?! WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE ARE YOU?" Raito glared at the boy as a gaggle of girls ran after them, screaming at Raito about his supposed hotness.
'Like I don't know how hot I am…' Raito snipped within his own mind, still glaring over at the barely panting L pulling him by the wrist.
"They all attacked me whilst I was coming out of the classroom and bombarded me with questions about our supposed friendship. They are now all somehow convinced that we are together and that for some strange reason, I am your sugar daddy."
L suddenly turned a corner as they hit a busy street full of traffic and new crowds of people, the screams of the banshee women dying out until neither boy could hear it above the beeps of car horns and emphatic talking of the people around them.
Before Raito had a chance to catch his breath, L, still holding onto Raito's wrist, pulled him forward as he began to power walk to some unknown destination. "L… where are we going?"
"There is a pastry shop not too far from here…" The dark-haired sugar addict muttered as his eyes widened once the shop was finally spotted. "Ah…"
"Is cake and candy all you think about?" Raito deadpanned, quite sure he had never seen any other person get so excited over the prospect of eating sweets.
"I think about Raito-kun as well." L smirked. "Does that count?"
"Ass…" The embarrassed honor student hissed as he was pushed inside the small shop against his will and practically shoved into a chair. "We should be at the library right now, by the way."
"Does Raito-kun think the library is safe for us at this point?" L glanced over at the many pastries available through the glass screens, wondering just what he was in the mood for. Boston crème pie, strawberry shortcake, cheesecake, cookies, éclairs…
"Well, whose fault is that?!" Raito attempted to keep his voice down, but just thinking about the mob of girls that would now be trailing after both of the boys rankled his ire even more than usual. "Now everybody is going to think we're some sort of couple!"
L stared at Raito, quirking a non-existent eyebrow in response.
"… … … Perhaps I have misread Raito's intentions earlier today, but I believed we were now a couple."
"That's not the point." The agitated boy pouted as he crossed his arms against his chest, keeping his gaze on the table so not to look over L's way.
"Then what is the point, Raito-kun?"
"The point is now we won't be able to even go anywhere without worrying if somebody from our school is going to trample over to where we are and attack us with uncomfortable questions!" Raito finally looked up at L with honest eyes, the irritation he felt with the situation as clear as day. "I don't want what I do publicized to the whole school! Isn't this supposed to be just about us?"
"I did not know Raito-kun was such a private person." L stated, not having realized just how shy the boy really was. Almost painfully shy, if truth be told… "With the way your past relationships had always been broadcasted…"
"L, I never even went out with more than half of those girls." The serious expression on the boy's face intensified, amplifying just how uncomfortable Raito felt about all the past 'coverage' of his love life. "And the other half just made up weird stories about things we never did just for the hell of it."
"I see." Was the last thing L said before he got up from his chair and turned to make his way to the counter filled with all the baked foods money could buy. "Would Raito-kun like anything from the various assortments of pastries?"
"No thank you. Just coffee. Lots… and lots… of coffee. Black, no sugar, please?"
'And possibly some vodka to go along with that, thank you very much…'
"Of course, Raito-kun. I can only expect you to be so boring."
Raito's eye twitched.
"You just love to piss me off, don't you?" The brunette muttered as he laid his head down against the table, wondering just why he had been so moronic and actually thought giving this dimwit a chance was a good idea.
"Think of it as a sort of mandatory courting ritual from me." L smirked as he turned around, wondering just how big the red spot on Raito's would be after he was finished banging his head against the table.
Pretty big from the amount of banging coming from behind him was any indication…
"Hello. I would like two pieces of your strawberry cheesecake, along with two cups of the strongest coffee you have… both extreme cream and extra sugar."
"What the hell…"
"What is it, Raito-kun?"
"… … You are an asshole."
"Raito-kun does not fail to remind me of this fact every time he sees me."
"Because it only becomes more evident every time I see you."
Raito glared at the large piece of cheesecake placed in front of him, knowing he should have known better than to expect L to actually listen to anything he actually said. L grinned mischievously as he ate his own slice of cake, enjoying the look on Raito's face way more than the sugary piece of goodness sliding down his throat.
"Raito-kun is exaggerating for his own benefit. Here… the coffee I brought for Raito-kun will get cold if he continues to ignore it." A pale finger nudged the cup in Raito's direction as the boy flinched at the milky white coloring of the beverage.
"I don't drink coffee with-"
Raito sighed, feeling a headache build steadily against the back of his mind.
"Will you leave me alone if I drink the damn thing?"
"Perhaps." L tilted his head to the side as he licked his spoon, childishly widening his eyes in a ploy for innocence.
Cinnamon eyes narrowed suspiciously before the 17-year-old teenage prodigy cautiously lifted the saturated concoction to his lips and took a small sip, internally cringing at the sugary sweet taste.
"This… is disgusting." Placing the cup down, Raito pushed the fattening cake in L's direction, rolling his eyes at the delighted beam sent his way. "Here. You know this is all going to eventually lead to either a heart attack or diabetes, right?"
"I cannot hear you, Raito-kun. The wonderful creation that is cheesecake has pulled me in with its spell."
"You are such a child."
"Yes. I am." L agreed without a second thought, spoon hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "And Raito-kun likes me better that way."
Raito blushed as he attempted to scoff off the other boy's comment, picking up the cup once more and taking another sip of the sugar-filled drink. "Not the point…"
"Once again, Raito-kun, I must ask. What is the point, then?"
"Why don't we talk about something else?" Raito suggested before he tried to strangle the man with his bare hands.
"Hm… Raito-kun did ask me some questions about my family the other day." Raito froze within his seat as L continued to speak as nonchalantly as possible, eyes obscured by his shaggy onyx tresses. "Does he still wish to have the answers to his sordid queries?"
'Sordid…' Raito put the cup down as he got up unexpectedly, catching the strawberry-stained insomniac off guard. 'To you, it probably would be sordid, wouldn't it? You've always hid a great deal of things behind that blank gaze and disheveled features, just as I've done with my own smooth smile and blurred perfection. We really are one in the same…'
"How about we go to my house for just a bit…" For once, the smile on Raito's face was genuine and full of a candid affection that L had never seen within the other boy's cold exterior. "I'm sure my parents won't mind."
L put down the spoon still held tightly within his grasp, once more glancing up at the honest expression lightening the other boy's visage. Picking up his garbage piece by piece, the obsidian-eyed adolescent slowly stood up and turned to fully face the smiling boy.
"If Raito-kun wishes it to be so, then to his home we shall go."
If the grin on Raito's face was anything to go by, then he was most definitely pleased.
And L found himself smiling as well, despite of everything else floating around in his mind.
"Hello, Raito, dear."
Yagami Sachiko stared at the pair of boys making their way to Raito's room, wondering if she should get the fire extinguisher ready.
'I'm sure they'll be fine… Just think positive thoughts, Sachiko. Positive. Thoughts.'
The older woman gave her signature motherly smile before turning back to the oven in front of her, hoping against hope that she would not have to clean up the remains of another L vs. Raito battle.
"So, what's up?"
Raito peered over at the boy lying beside him under half-lidded eyes, tired from both the emotional confrontation and the crazed attack from his set of fan girls, who were no doubt spreading the word of his gayness to the whole school even as L and Raito lay in bed, barely half awake.
"Hm…" L murmured, panda-like eyes fluttering despite his naturally restless nature. "A lot."
"Like…" The word rolled off the brunette's tongue in a slight slur, the allure of sleep tempting him to just forget the conversation and just close his almond brown eyes.
"Everything, Raito-kun. Like everything." The bed sheets rustled slightly as L moved closer to Raito's figure, turning on his side so that he was facing his temperamental friend. "I do not know where to begin, Raito-kun. I have never had someone with whom I could actually discuss my personal life with before."
"Me neither." Raito quietly admitted as he tucked his arms behind his head, happily stretched out against his bed as L moved even in closer than before. Barely centimeters lay between them as both students savored the quietness of the room, the tranquility foreign in both of their minds. "I never thought you would be the one I would bare my soul to."
"Why not, Raito-kun?"
Raito gave the boy a scornful glare.
"If it makes Raito-kun feel better," L began to chew on his thumb, bringing his other arm over Raito's waist as he did so. "I also did not expect Raito-kun to be the one I would open up to prior to all of this. In fact, I could say with complete honesty that Raito-kun was the last person on Earth I could have imagined speaking to about anything sensitive in concerns to me."
"You're so kind to me." The brunette muttered as his glare intensified. L chuckled to himself, quite sure that the boy was the most adorable when irritated and exhausted. "But really, let's get to the point of all this."
The dark-haired senior quickly sobered as the glower evaporated from Raito's face, worrying the brunette even more than before.
"This will only work if Raito-kun asks me the questions." L replied, still slightly out of it. "I fear I have neither the will nor the tenacity to simply throw my whole life onto your feet, Raito-kun."
"You're being a brat again."
"Perhaps." A very frail looking L closed his eyes, exhausted beyond all belief. "Or perhaps I am simply attempting to give you free reign of this conversation. Does that not appeal to Raito-kun?"
Raito wanted to deny the fact, but having L actually allow him to ask what he wished (and have guaranteed answers afterwards) was too much of a temptation. There was so much he had always wanted to know about this one boy who was both his greatest of enemies and now, most treasured of friends…
"Well… I have always wondered what ever happened to your parents." The boy muttered, only to be silenced once more by a sharp contrast of L's normally bland tone.
"My father passed away before I was born from thoracic cancer." L's wide eyes were narrowed in thought as he began to play with one of the belt loops on Raito's uniform pants. "My grandfather does not like discussing it very much, as it is an intensely sore subject for him, obviously. I have seen some pictures of him, and thankfully I inherited most of my father's looks and intelligence."
"Oh…" The look on L's face only intensified once Raito began to think of the other half of L's parental equation. "Then what about-"
"My mother abandoned me to my grandfather after I was born, as it was too late to get an abortion. At least, that's what the letter she left me says. I never actually got to know her on a personal level." A warm tanned hand gently weaved itself into raven colored locks as L continued to speak without hesitation, the dam between his emotions and his sense of self finally broken after nearly 18 years of keeping it all in. "That is, until my three younger brothers arrived into the picture."
"Neither myself nor my grandfather even knew that I had siblings until all three of them arrived at my home about two years ago. It seems my mother had contracted the AIDs virus and could no longer take care of them over in America." Limbs gently twisted against each other as the boy's half-hearted embrace evolved into a full cuddle. "Once again, I have nothing but a letter to go on, but the boys have implied that she had looked incredibly sickly before sending them off to Japan."
"Have you tried to find her, L?" Raito allowed the bit of his sympathy he felt shine through his gaze, knowing that L would hate it if he bombarded him with "I'm sorry's" and fake pats on the back. "If not for yourself, at least for the boys?"
"I must admit, my own experience causes me to be bit apathetic to her plight, but…" L sighed against the crook of Raito's neck. "After high school, I do plan to look for her. It is actually one of the main reasons I planned to go to an American school, if truth be told. My brothers only remember a kind woman who cared for them until she could no longer. I cannot begrudge them the opportunity to see the woman that raised them, even if it is just one last time."
"I never knew you were such a good guy, L." Raito smiled against the tuft of messy hair pillowing his face. "Never would have guessed it at all…"
"Raito-kun holds so much faith in my abilities to be a well-thought out person."
"Well, you can't blame me. You are basically socially-retarded."
"And Raito-kun is flamingly homosexual, but you do not see me stating this fact off record."
"First off, yes, you just did. Second off, you're gay too, buddy, so lay off."
"Whoever said I was gay?"
"… … Who's cuddling who here?"
"Ah. I suppose Raito-kun wins this round."
"Damn right, you ass."
"Do not be so cruel to me, Raito-kun. It hurts my feelings."
"Don't you have a family to go home to?"
"Only if Raito-kun is kicking me out… and I am only leaving if he can manage to get me out of this bed."
"… Too tired. I'll just kick you in the nuts later on…"
"Touché, Raito-kun. Touché…"
And that was all the warning Raito received before a pair of lips dived in and took control of his own, leaving him completely unaware of anything around him.
'For a social recluse, he sure knows how to make-out…'
Raito left that train of thought where it belonged and just wrapped his arms around the slightly taller boy's neck as he lost himself within the kiss, closing his eyes in response. God damn anyone who bothered them now…
"I haven't seen either L-kun or Rai-chan come downstairs…" Sachiko commented off-handedly as she stitched up the small hole in Sayu's blouse for her. "Have you, sweetie?"
"Say what, now?"
"I've barely even heard a peep out of either them the whole afternoon…" The mother continued to mutter to herself as she quietly plucked out the needle only to weave it back into the fabric of the shirt. "How strange…"
Both adults looked at each other, panic suddenly filling their beings.
"You don't think…"
"Sachiko, no. Our son would not commit murder. And neither would L."
Both parents dropped everything in their hands and quickly rushed up the stairs, not quite ready for the surprise that grace the both of them once they opened the door to their precious son's room.
Definitely not ready.
Raito and L were also not quite ready for what would greet them once the door to the brunette's room burst open, showcasing two panting adults with equally wide eyes.
Raito and L quickly pulled away from each other, eyes wide and cheeks a matching pair of magenta, in an attempt for normalcy, but the damage had already been done.
Sachiko's mouth fell open, her eyes wide as can be.
Soichirou blinked several times, looking as if he was actually contemplating banging his head against the wall in an attempt to actually see if he was dreaming or not as he then eyed the plastered wall to the side of him.
Everyone in the room stayed frozen in shock, not quite sure what to say.
And that is exactly how Sayu found them after returning from her friend Tsuki's house.
After a quick perusal of the situation at hand, Sayu came only to one conclusion.
"I told you they were totally gay for each other."
Satisfied, the girl left the gaggle of people within her brother's bedroom, wondering just how much time she had to do her homework before her favorite TV show came on at eight.
Everyone within the room shifted awkwardly within their spots, wondering how the hell a girl who watched SpongeBob marathons for hours at a time could be so damn perceptive.
Soichirou was the first one to speak.
"… Do we… even want to know?"
"… … I don't know." Raito cocked his head to the side, looking as if he had just channeled L in that one movement. "Do you?"
Soichirou glanced at Sachiko.
Sachiko glanced at L.
L glanced at Raito.
Raito simply stared at all three of them.
"Act like we never saw this happen?"
Both mother and father awkwardly walked out of the room as Raito smirked behind their backs, leaving L both dazed and confused.
"… … … Does this mean that we will be able to make-out at your parents house without them having heart-attacks?"
Raito sweat dropped.
"Let's just take this one step at a time, L. One… step… at a time."
Operation: Write Speech – Week Four
"You know I don't feel bad for you in the least, right?" Raito whispered as he closed his notebook and placed it underneath his Trigonometry book.
"… Raito-kun is cruel." L whispered before taking out their speech and staring down at the almost completed piece of work.
"You knew what they were like when you opened your big fat mouth." The attractive brunette chided as he took out his pen and push his chair next to the insomniac's, not caring who stared at their proximity. It seemed that they would not have to worry about hiding their relationship, at least…
"I did not expect for the word of our supposed relationship to spread so fast." L nibbled on his thumb as he contemplated just why his boyfriend of all people seemed to have the most obsessive of fans. "Raito-kun's fan girls are insane."
"Well your fan girls aren't such a walk in the park, either!" Raito continued to write, even as the panda-eyed boy blinked in wonderment.
"I have fan girls?"
"Yes. And their creepier than mine."
"Why are females so demented, Raito-kun?"
"You're asking the wrong person, L…"
The pencil within L's hand snapped at the sudden screech reverberating within the library.
"Can we not escape their clutches, Raito-kun…"
"I'm afraid not, L. I'm afraid not." Raito decided to take pity on the poor boy and spun around, only to be met with the watery gaze of Amane Misa. "I'll take care of this."
L gave his boy toy (as he liked to refer to Raito within the sanctity of his thoughts, of course) a small shaky smile before pulling his back pack out from beneath the bottom of the table and pulling out a pen this time, hoping that maybe that would prevent him from breaking anymore precious writing utensils.
Raito shook his head as he walked over to the nearly hysterical blonde, giving her his best sympathetic smile as he nodded his head to signify that he wished for her to follow. Misa sniffled as she trailed after him like a lost puppy, not noticing the heated glare sent her direction via L.
"Rai-kun, tell Misa-Misa it isn't true!" Misa sobbed as she bounced within the same spot. "Everyone's saying that you and L are… are…"
"Dating?" Raito supplied for her.
"YESSSSSSSSS!!" The girl wailed before blowing her nose with her black hankie. "Misa-Misa can understand Raito dating other girls, but L?! Rai-kun hates L!"
"Well, Amane, it's complicated…"
"Complicated? Complicated?!" Misa stomped her foot against the carpeting of the library floor. "What about L is so great to Rai-kun? The sloppy hobo look! I bet he's a pervert, isn't he?! Or a stalker! Or… or… a pervert stalker!"
Raito sweat dropped.
"Amane, please… just listen to me." Misa sniffled before hesitantly nodding her head to show that she was giving him a chance to speak. "I know that L and I have not always got along, but we've managed to find something here that I can find myself wanting to keep. This isn't some run of the mill high school romance. I really like him. And he really likes me. I know it's a stretch, but L makes me happy."
Misa lowered her head, hating the way Raito's eyes seemed to glow as he continued to speak of the pale boy still watching them out of the corner of his wide obsidian eyes, yet not being able to really deny that what Raito felt was true.
"He brings out the best and the worst in me, and I know a lot of people won't understand…" Raito stood a bit straighter, not blind to the glances still being thrown his way. "But I'm willing to be with him despite all of that. Please, I know this is hard for you, but don't do this. Not when I already have so many other people who I know will no doubt hate me for what I'm doing with L."
The gothic blonde sighed as she turned her head and looked over at L. Surprised at the worried stare sent their way, Misa turned back to the boy in front of her. The warm glow in his eyes seemed to brighten ever so slightly, flushed cheeks accompanying the combination as a small smile spread over the boy's lips.
"Misa-Misa understands…" The usually perky girl stated somberly, still sore at the thought of losing to L of all people. "And Misa-Misa wants Rai-kun to know that I will stand up to anyone who talks down about Rai-kun's relationship with his zombie boyfriend!"
"Misa-Misa shall become president of the newly formed LxRaito fan club and crush anyone who dares oppose it!" The girl's excitement seemed to radiate in waves as her perkiness built up once more, leaving the crushed persona behind her. "Everyone shall be supportive! Misa-Misa will make sure of it! If only for Raito-kun's dainty dignity, Misa-Misa will protect both his reputation and his booty-shaking with his perverted freak of a lover, even if it costs Misa her life!"
Raito sweat dropped.
"That's really not necessary-"
"Now, Misa-Misa is off to go make pretty Rai-kun and L-kun posters of them kissing! Yay for shounen-ai!" Misa finally skipped off, leaving a very red-faced Raito and a slightly confused L, who had only heard Misa sounding excited about something to do with shounen-ai.
Everyone in the library stared at the boy left standing where Misa once stood.
"Uh… Yay for shounen-ai?"
L sighed as the pen within his grip snapped in half, leaving ink splattered over his hands.
Operation: Write Speech – Week Four
Well, we finally finished.
This week has had to be the craziest week of them all. Between heart breaking confessions, hooking up with L (Yes, I said it! Hooking. Up. With. L!), being caught in a compromising position by my family, having fan girls suddenly stalk us and try to coax us into making out in front of them, consoling a frantic Misa (Who has turned into a crazy Yaoi fan girl, by the way), and being fed disgustingly sugary things, we finally finished the stupid speech.
But in between all the speech making and shounen-ai chaos, the fact is…
Not of having a relationship with L. I don't think that's even possible. He's everything to me, and quite frankly, he always has been, even before all this craziness began. What scares me is that after graduation, this is where it ends.
He's going to America. Not just for college, but to look for some woman who abandoned him. How can I contend with that? This is all for his siblings, and I won't get in the way of that.
But it doesn't mean I don't want to.
Maybe I'm being selfish for thinking this way; for wanting him all to myself. But I just can't stop thinking that if I let him go… If I just step aside and let him walk out of my life…
I'll never see him again.
And that is what scares me the most.
How can I lose him now when I just got him? How can I just let go when I've finally gotten a taste of something so close to what happiness could be?
I don't want to.
But I'll have to.
Even if it kills me… I'll have to let him go.
Raito sighed as he held his head between his hands, not wanting to look at the calendar hanging against his wall.
'Even if you won't always want me…'
"I'm yours to keep, L."
"Raito-kun looks upset."
Raito turned away from the boy sitting next to him as he continued to watch other people around them get ready for the beginning of their graduation rehearsal.
"Raito-kun… I know something has been bothering you these last set of days. Will you tell me what is wrong so that I may stop worrying?"
"Can we not talk about this now?" Raito snapped, still not facing his boyfriend.
"Of course." The raven-haired insomniac slouched even further within his seat, not sure why he was so hurt by the sharp cut of words that were most likely not even meant as an insult. "I simply wished to see what was bothering Raito-kun, but if he wishes to speak of it later on, then I am more than happy to oblige."
Raito's eyes glistened as everyone around them chattered happily about what they were going to do once high school was over and done with.
Dreams were passed along with such a vigor to one another that it made the 17-year-old's heart ache all the more, wondering just how he was going to make it through their graduation night with nothing but tears in his eyes and a goodbye set on his lips.
L kept his gaze on the back of his Raito's head, wondering just what it was that was wrong. Everything was perfect, wasn't it? After years of silent pining, he finally had the boy right where he wanted him. But Raito was a complex person, with years of intelligence ahead of most adults, let alone teenagers.
After a silent promise to himself, L shifted forward, intent on releasing his lover from whatever problem plagued him by the end of the night.
"Where are we going, L?"
"Somewhere familiar to Raito-kun."
"Familiar, familiar…" Raito repeated to himself before blinking once again, the recognizable dirt path leading to the groove he had come to love the last time L had lead him. "Why is it this place gets all the more beautiful every time we come here?"
"Perhaps it is simply magic, Raito-kun." L smirked as a tanned lithe hand clasped over his own, the starry gaze within his boyfriend's eyes taking his breath away. "Or perhaps it is Raito-kun's presence that gives the scenery the extra sparkle."
"Because that doesn't sound sarcastic at all. Stop trying to find ways to allude to my supposed flaming-ness." Raito rolled his eyes before tugging on the other's hand and pulling him towards 'his' beloved pond. "Thinking about it, you've never told me how you ever found this place, have you?"
"I didn't." L plopped down on the dirty ground before practically pulling Raito on his lap along with him. "My father did, once upon a time. From what my grandfather told me, this is where he proposed to my mother all those years ago."
Raito blushed at the implication, burying his face against the smooth pale skin of L's neck. "You're not going to propose to me, are you?"
"Not unless Raito-kun wants me to."
"Stop being an ass."
"Of course, Raito-kun." L smirked as Raito's heated cheeks practically illuminated within the dark night shielding the small groove. "Will Raito-kun finally tell me what has been bothering him these last few days, now?"
"I…" Raito practically stuttered, wanting nothing more than to go back to the ever-loving silence and enjoy L while he still had him within his arms. "It's nothing, L."
"Please, Raito." The boy stiffened at the sound of his name leaving L's lips, almost caressing his ears in the gentle ease L had whispered it. "I cannot stand seeing you like this."
"Well, there's nothing you can do about it, so we might as well just drop it." The brunette attempted to pull himself out of the other's embrace, yet was yielded by the burst of strength erupting from the insomniac's arms as he tightened his hold over Raito's slim figure. "I don't want to talk about this, L!"
"I do not care if you do not wish to speak of whatever it is that is bothering you!" L burst out as Raito's attempts at fleeing only increased at the sudden raise of volume in L's voice. "I will not let you destroy what's between us when there's so little time left-"
"And don't you think that's the problem?!" Raito finally cocked his head up, surprising the disheveled boy still holding him with the slight sheen of moisture clinging to his eyes. "You're leaving in less than a week, and you don't think I'm not allowed to be a bit upset about that?! I don't even know how long it is you're going to be gone, let alone if…"
"Raito…" L appeared to be as speechless as Raito imagined he would be at the sudden confession.
"I'm not an idiot." The struggling finally ceased as Raito leaned back into the other's embrace. "I know you have to go, and I know I can't follow. So where does that leave us, L? Back to the beginning where we force-fed ourselves stupid lies and disregarded the truth altogether? I can't do that again. I can't…"
The gentle summer breeze flowed through them as Raito continued to cling onto the man who had helped him see past his own façade, along with the string of lies that had poisoned him from the inside out. The man with whom he had grown up and both hated and loved, although that last sentiment would probably be buried deep within him along with the memories he wanted to cherish for as long as possible.
Raito knew that his time had been wasted.
But for once…
He couldn't find it within himself to actually care.
"It's almost time, you guys! What the hell are you two doing in there, anyways?!"
Raito vacantly concentrated on his reflection as he combed back his auburn-colored locks. He grabbed his cap and pushed it on top of his head, quite sure that this was the worst night of his life.
L stared at the boy as he toyed with his tassel, sadly peering over at the teen with large ebony eyes.
"Raito?! L?! C'mon, you guys! We've got a graduation to get rolling!"
"There's nothing to be sorry about. Now let's go get graduated, huh?" As the brunette turned to walk out the door, a pale hand grasped his wrist, preventing such escape.
"L, we have to go." Raito whispered.
Both boys stared at each other willing for this one moment to last for far longer than it could.
After another loud knock on the door, both teens blinked, once again brought back to reality.
"Yes," L agreed before letting go of Raito's hand. "We do."
And with that, both boys went to go face the next step of their lives…
"And in honor of our two most prestigious students, we call upon our co-valedictorians to come to our podium and grace the class of 2008 with a speech they both made on our behalf." Principal Sato grinned before nodding for the two boys to come to the podium. Raito took a deep breath, ready to give the speech of his life, when-
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen…"
L beat him to it.
Raito stared at the boy, wondering just what the hell he thought he was doing as the paper that was supposed to be their speech fell from his hands.
"I have never been a social person, as many of you know…" The rumble of laughter at the remark did not even affect L in the slightest as he continued to speak. "But I have made a discovery in the last few weeks that I believe overshadow all else that could be spoken about, and reflect just what I believe high school is really all about. Something that transcends past, present and future relationships and really shapes who we are and just who we can become."
"Not all of us know what it's like to genuinely gain something whilst in high school and hold on to it all of their lives. We may be able to hold onto a few lessons here and there, but things learned in the classroom? Friends who you believed will be there for you forever?" L stared at the masses of students and families staring at him, barely flinching under the pressure of their gazes. "None of us can say that anything gained in high school is 'forever.' The word 'forever' is rudimentary; an aspect we cling to so that we have something to look forward to tomorrow and gaze fondly back at yesterday. Nothing is forever, no matter how much we wish it so. No matter how much… we would give to hold onto that one word and never let go."
L's gaze slowly slid from the people still watching him intently to the boy barely three feet away from him, eyes wide at the words coming out of his lips.
"As much as I hate to admit it, and as I have learned within these span of weeks, even emotions do not last forever. But I like to think that whatever we do manage to keep from high school is as scarring as it is beautiful. A mixture of fond teenage angst along with the staple of just who we might turn out to be. People change. Lives change. But what we make of the time we have… that doesn't. Regret is a powerful thing sometimes… just like hope is tricky in all its complexity." Raito blinked as he stood amazed at the boy turned man speaking directly to him on the stage they now stood.
"What we know now is unessential. We will forget about the person standing next to us as easily as we have forgotten what we had for breakfast just this morning. But in reality, even though we may forget, even though we may lament, even though we may cherish, whatever we chose to do in the future is our choice, and I cannot say that is entirely unappealing." L drew in a shaky breath as he smiled at Raito, internally memorizing the beautiful watery gaze keeping him in their range, eyelashes stubbornly clinging with tears. "I choose to both remember and forget… I choose to walk down this aisle and do what I wish for my future. I choose to love who I love and hate who I hate. High school has simply become another stepping stone for us all, and I wish to do nothing more than to implore on you all to remember that there is so much more, even when you begin to forget."
Tears poured down his face unnoticed as L openly smiled for all to see, caught up in the gorgeous glow emanating from his boyfriend's face, speech crumpled up on the ground as it lay forgotten. "All we can do is hope that tomorrow brings us the fortune we desire, and not regret what yesterday has had to offer. And most of all, look at today, and see ourselves as we are. As we could be. As we were. And realize… that no matter happens in the future, no one can take that away from us. Thank you."
The sudden applause was barely heard as L jumped off the podium and ran to his enemy-turned-ally-turned-boyfriend, and kissed him on the cheek, smile still stretched across his face. "And I meant every word."
Raito laughed as he grabbed onto the unconventional 17-year-old and kissed him in front of the entire class of 2008 along with their families. He ignored the sudden barrage of both cat calls and irked boo's, knowing that he probably shouldn't, but needed to say those three words at least once before all the magic from the moment was gone and he was left with nothing but an empty embrace.
"I love you."
The smile on L's face widened in response.
"I love you, too… even when I probably shouldn't."
"Sorry, Raito… Would a kiss make it better?"
Raito grinned as he turned red, catching sight of their principal practically shoo-ing them off stage as he shook his head in embarrassment.
L grinned before draggin his boyfriend off the stage and back into the seated gaggle of teens now staring at them. The principal stuttered before starting his own speech, gettin gready to start calling out names as L kept his grip on raito's hand.
"Most definitely later…"
"So you promise?"
"I promise, Raito-kun."
"… ... I'm holding you to your word, you know."
Raito and L stood in front of the bus stop, waiting for the vehicle still in transit.
"Right in this spot, Raito-kun?"
"It's only fair. Plus, it's more romantic that way." Raito replied as the boy shifted his book bag over his shoulder. "I'm guessing no letters, no phone calls, no visits…"
"Then you would be guessing correctly, Raito-kun. I doubt I'd be able to afford such a thing as long distance phone calls if I shall be making it on my own." L stated as he glanced at Raito forlornly. "I shall miss Raito-kun a great deal."
"Don't forget your promise, Lawliet." Raito warned as he saw the bus coming down the street. "I expect to see you here eventually."
L grinned before grabbing the seventeen-year-old and pulling him into a small chaste kiss, reveling in the tiny bit of contact before he was deprived of it completely.
"I promise, Raito." Was the final whisper Raito heard before the bus came to a complete stop and opened its doors. "I promise."
Raito watched the vehicle pull back its doors before driving off, leaving the brunette with nothing but a decrepit bench, a raggedy street sign and a very lonely promise.
"So do I."
Operation: Write Speech - Complete
So… he's gone.
Don't know when I'll see him again, really.
Don't even know if I ever will see him, period.
We made a promise to each other to meet up again someday, but it doesn't do much for the obnoxious amount of doubt I feel right now. Is that sad? I know it probably is. I don't really care either way.
I wonder if this is what love is supposed to be. To want to be with a person constantly and never let them out of your sight, and when they aren't next to you, feel as if your soul was just ripped out of your chest and stomped upon by a steel-toe boot.
… … Yeah, I don't know, either.
L was such a staple in my life that I honestly don't even know how to react right now. It's the first night without him, and I just feel so numb inside. Will I always feel like this? I don't know…
I just don't know.
And it kills me inside that I might never actually find out.
Twenty one-year-old Yagami Raito sighed as he glanced down at his watch, wondering if it was even worth it at this point. Throwing the old notebook back inside his satchel, the weary brunette wondered if it was even worth it to wait at this point.
Raito barely moved as he turned to the side, not surprised to see Mihael waving at him from the driver's side of the car coming up to park right on the side of the road beside the old decaying bench Raito sat on.
'I can't keep on doing this to myself…' Raito thought to himself as he glanced over at the boys waiting for him, eagerly watching for some kind of new development that Raito felt would probably never come. 'And I can't keep doing this to these kids.'
"Look! There's a bus!" Mihael cried out, pointing frantically towards the vehicle driving towards them.
Raito internally rolled his eyes, head still leaned back against the crumbling wood.
As the bus finally rolled to a stop, the sound of doors opening alerted Raito of a deviance in the natural routine this day seemingly always took. Wanting to open his eyes, but just not wanting to feel the everlasting disappointment that seemed to hang over the adult's head every time he got his hopes just high enough to be knocked down, Raito waited until the door finally closed and an known figure stepped off the bus's final stair.
Silence was all the brunette heard for a good two minutes before the sound of someone shuffling towards him made the usually single-minded man open his eyes.
For a good minute, all Raito could do was stare as the man before him smiled.
"Lawliet…" The 21-year-old knock out finally whispered, not even deigning to look in the children's direction who still sat waiting in the car. "You came back."
L smiled before throwing his bags onto the ground, his slightly broader and taller physique barely taking away from the faux-childish innocence gleaming within his eyes.
"I promised, didn't I?"
Raito grinned as the sounds of the other children running out of the car and getting ready to bum-rush the two older men staring at each other assuaged his ears, truly seeing nothing but the childish dark-haired man in front of him.
"People change. Lives change. But what we make of the time we have… that doesn't. Regret is a powerful thing sometimes… just like hope is tricky in all its complexity."
Yes, hope was a tricky thing.
L dug his hands within Raito's glossy cinnamon brown locks as he ignored the teenagers running towards them and crashed his lips onto Raito's own pair, barely allowing the man a chance to breathe as he hungrily devoured every square inch of the brunette he could.
But as long as it kept his Lawliet by his side, Raito couldn't much say he cared.
So in the end, I got what I always wanted.
A companion to share my accomplishments, who could both challenge me and believe in me, without seeming like an overabundant idiot with stupid tendencies, and the love of my life, all in one neat little bundle.
Well… not little. But honestly, it's not like I'll ever let him know that. Man has a big enough head on his shoulders, no need to add to THAT ego…
Four years flew by without me even realizing it; only the hole of his constant presence truly felt as I carried on as if I didn't care, when all along, I cared more than I wanted to admit.
Maybe some day, I'll be able to tell him all those things I've thought about for all these years and just how both he and his impromptu speech affected me on that fateful graduation day.
Maybe some day, I'll be able to take his hand and finally admit that yes, I did need him by my side to function, and quite frankly, if he leaves me at this point, I won't be able to go on.
Maybe some day I'll be able to confide in him just how much I truly love him, and hopefully, he'll be able to confide in me just what happened in those four years he wasn't by my side in return…
"Raito-kun?" L blearily blinked as he sat up beside the thin brunette who was writing inside a ragged black journal, eyes intensely focused on the page in front of him.
"Huh?" Raito yawned as he pushed his reading glasses up against the bridge of his nose, cinnamon brown eyes wide with curiosity.
"What are you doing?"
Raito smiled before shrugging off the question in his no nonsense way of his.
"Well, turn off the light. I wish to sleep." L complained before lying down within the warm confines of the full bed once more, obviously waiting for the younger of the two to come join beside him.
"The great insomniac L wishes to sleep?" Raito smirked before gently putting the journal wide-open on top of the lamp table, the covers slipping off his bare torso. "The world must be coming to an end as we know it."
"Raito… just shut up and get back inside these covers so that I may molest you in peace." L deadpanned as he gave Raito a blank stare.
Raito hid the smile covering the lower half of his face with a simple tilt of his head as he turned back to his journal.
Maybe some day, but I doubt it'll be some day any time soon by the looks of it.
Turning off the light, Raito yelped as a pair of cold arms grabbed him and pulled him back into the warm inviting bed beneath him.
'Couldn't say I didn't see that one coming…'
Raito sighed as L pulled him in close, the other's breathing evening out almost as soon as the raven-haired man's head hit the pillow.
Eyes closing in response, Raito grinned as he slipped off into the land of dreams, glad that after four years of solitude, he finally found the solace he had been looking for practically all of his life.
It had been difficult, but that was alright.
Simple was for boring people.
And for L and Raito, simple just didn't exist in their vocabulary.
"Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day-
I swear it's true.
Because a girl like you is impossible to find…
You're impossible to find."
-"Fall For You" By Secondhand Serenade