Okay, so I got some major inspiration from a song to write this story. It's going to be a long one, a whole lot longer than Twisted Bliss. Which, btw, that fic is almost done. Yay! Please R&R, and give this one a chance. :)
The start is in Bella's POV.
When I See Your Smile,
Tears Fall Down My Face.
I Can't Replace.
I woke up at the same time every night just to reach out across my bed, hoping that everything from that fateful day had been nothing more than a nightmare. But, just the same as every night, the left side of my bed was empty, and there was no concerned, beautifully velvet voice asking me what was wrong. Like everytime I found my bed empty, painful cries erupted from my chest. My arms ached for him, and my lips yearned for his cool-as-glass kisses. I bit down on my lips to keep from waking Charlie.
My body racked violently with muffled sobs. Why did he have to be noble? Why did he have to risk everything to save me? I can't be without him. You are so stupid Edward Cullen. . . So stupid. How dare you leave me here by myself? You've abandon me, Edward. I snatched the pillow where his head once rested upon and watched me sleep through the night, and screamed. The violent racking only got worse, my tears flowed more freely due to my loss of self control.
My screaming broke apart with the cries of agony that cascaded roughly from me empty heart. How much I wanted to break that stupid promise I had made to him. . . It hurt to breath, to move, and my fingertips burned with everything I touched. I wanted everything to stop, I wanted so much to join my Edward in death. . . But I wanted even more to keep my promise to him. He knew what was going to happen to him when he left to battle. And he knew what I would do when I learned that he lost.
I rolled angrily off the bed, catching myself and setting his pillow onto his side of the bed. No matter what promise I had made to Edward in that last desperate hour, it was even more painful to be alive without him. Like he once told me, I could never live in a world where he doesn't exsist. Every breath I took, every word I spoke and every smile I faked was empty. Everything about me was hollow.
Victoria took more than just Edward away. She stole my world. I no longer had the love of my life, but I no longer had anyone to cry on. No best friend. No Alice. No Jacob. Nobody. She took everything away from me. Just the thought of losing my world made my emptiness painful. I fell to my knees and clutched at my torso, begging for it to end. I took several ragged breaths before I struggled to my feet, and raced out of my bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door.
The rain was falling at a fast pace tonight as I ran through the empty streets. It took only seconds before I was drenched head to toe, the raindrops intertwining with the relentless tears. The moon was hidden behind a sheet of black clouds tonight. The dim streetlights illuminated everything in my path, exagerating everything I took in. The streets were deserted, leaving me alone. Just the way I wanted it.
I can't live without you, Edward, damnit.
How dare you ask me to?
My mind was racing faster than my clumsy two feet as I made my way toward the bridge. I could see it now, the small reflectors lit up by an oncoming car. My brows knitted together as I slowed to a walk, and I stared into the bright headlights.
They weren't like the headlights on any other car.
There was a sort of blue tint to the glaring white light. It was almost as if a lightbulb went off in my head, and I froze. It was one of the many Cullen cars, with one of Edward's family members behind the wheel. It didn't take much thought to know what they were doing. No doubt Edward had asked someone to keep an eye on me, knowing that I might slip up. But there was no way I was going to let anyone stand between me and Edward.
The car began to slow to a stop, seeming to know what my intentions were as I eyed the bridge as my prize. I swallowed the lump in my throat, turned to my right, and ran. My bare feet sloshed through the grass as I bolted towards the trees. I knew there was another way to the bridge, but I also knew there was no chance in hell I was going to make it.
A human outrun a Cullen?
It was too dark to see anything in front of me, and I stumbled a few times. My hands were out infront of me, feeling around for anything I might run face first into. I heard a faint sound of a car door slamming shut, and I knew that gave me only a few seconds to reach my destination. Then I finally seen the lights that illuminated the bridge, and I picked up my pace.
I grunted with the power I was pushing into my legs, hoping that I didn't trip over anything. My heart was thudding with exertion in my hollow chest, begging me to stop. My breathing was quick enough to keep up with the needs of my lungs, not giving me enough oxygen. Not bothering to slow my pace, my head began to swirl. Lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, lack of oxygen. . . It was all catching up to me now. Of all the times.
Please no. . . No. . .
Here it is! The edge was only feet away now, and my legs prepared to launch me from the pain and into the rest of eternity. Edward was waiting on the other side, furious no doubt, but I would see him. Damnit, I was going to be with him again. My feet found the small, three foot wall that separated the trees from the ten-stories high bluff. I reached out, my hand clutching the cement wall for leverage, and jumped.
I made it!
My body began the free fall. The rush, the pain, and the tiresome exertion gave me an easy escape, and my eyes fluttered closed. I would not feel the pain of my fall, and I would open my eyes to my Edward. My life. My love.
The body in my arms was still breathing, but I didn't need my special gift to tell she was completely broken. Even in her peaceful form, I could feel the pain of her emptiness radiating from every part of her. Feeling her pain only awakened mine and doubled it. Ouch. . .
I growled to myself, suddenly feeling angry at the small, fragile young woman in my arms. Even with the rain, I could clearly see the tears stains etched permanently on her pale cheeks. I frowned, then, realizing that she was too pale. Her skin was almost as transparent as my own.
I lifted myself from the ground and sprinted for the car I'd left idle on the side of the road. It took but a few seconds to reach it, and I set her gently in the passenger seat. I reached over and reclined her seat so she was laying flat on her back.
Such a human behavior was irritating. Selfish. Did Bella have any idea what kind of pain her death would inflict on so many others? I put the car in drive and whirled around, driving towards my home where the remainder of my family waited for me.
There was a new lump in my throat at the thought.
Only five of us were left now.
My brother and my wife were gone.
I quickly pushed the thought out of my head as quickly as it had come, and focused on the road.
"Where did you find her?"
I didn't look up when Esme asked me this, "She was trying to jump off the bridge by the main highway."
Stupid humans. Always looking for the easy way out.
Carlisle sighed and draped a blanket around Bella's motionless body, "She didn't hit her head or anything? Are you sure, Jasper?"
I nodded slightly, "I caught her before she was out of reach. Knowing Bella, she's probably been starving herself lately."
"You've been doing much of the same," Esme put one of her hands genty on my shoulder, and I didn't shrug her off like I normally would. "It's been weeks since you've hunted."
"I'm not in the mood right now," I growled. "And besides, my body doesn't shut down from thirst. A human body does."
Carlisle nodded, "She needs something in her system as soon as she wakes up. Her skin is far too pale and her body temperature isn't high enough." He sighed, concern pressing his brows together in the middle. If Bella wasn't human, I'd hit her. So stupid.
"Esme and I are going downstairs," Carlisle said. "If anything changes, let me know."
I nodded, and he left. I glared over at the girl sleeping on my bed. My prop. I clenched my jaw, trying to retain myself from doing anything that would upset Esme and Carlisle. They didn't think of this the way that I do. They don't see Bella as selfish for pulling a stunt like this. But I could see right through her. What a waste. It was difficult to hide the growl that was boiling in my chest.
As the hours ticked by, my anger never simmered down. If anything, I was playing out in my head what I planned to say to this idiot in front of me. The menacing scowl continued to linger on my face as the sun began to rise and shine through the window. For the first time in hours, my eyes made their way to Bella.
What should look like peaceful slumber looked more like inward struggle. She did not look asleep at all, though I knew she was by her breathing pattern. Her fists clenched and unclenched, her eyes tightened, and untightened. I stared at her, my mouth pulling down in both corners when I focused more on her face.
There, glistening on the bridge of her nose, were tears.
"Edward?" she whimpered. "Edward. . ."
I felt my body stiffen against the wall.
"I miss you, Edward . . ."
To another human, these words would be too ilegable. But I heard them loud and clear. The way they had an effect on me. . . She might as well had been screaming them.
"Come back -" her voice cracked and broke.
More tears. Her eyebrows pushed down at opposite ends.
I gritted my teeth, feeling the ambush of her strong emotions hit me like an oncoming train. I nearly lost my breath. So much pain for such a small body. Anguish, fear, pain, remorse, emptiness. . . How could someone like Bella feel such strong emotions without breaking under their weight?
Her eyes opened slowly, staring into nothing, "Don't. . . Don't go. . ."
At the distance I was at, I shouldn't have been able to see so much into her eyes. But as I tried, I gasped to myself. I might as well have been looking into a bottomless pit. In her eyes, the eyes that use to hold so much happiness, now hold nothing at all. Not sadness, anger, pain - nothing. If she didn't have a heartbeat, she could pass for dead.
Her voice startled me, "Yes?"
"Why did you stop me?" she asked. Her voice was just as empty as her eyes.
My eye narrowed, and I pushed my sudden tenderness for her out of mind, "Because what you were doing was selfish, Bella. Don't be stupid."
Her eyes didn't even falter with my harsh tone, "I don't want to hurt anymore, Jasper. I don't want to be here."
"You made a promise to Edward, and he asked me to make sure you stick to that promise," I spat. "He wouldn't want you to throw away your life like that." Her emotions, all in one swirl, pegged me, stabbing me everywhere it could. I sighed and filled the room with waves of calm, hoping to silence these feelings.
"Please stop it," she asked, her eyes still hollow and unfeeling.
"Your feelings aren't just affecting you right now," I said. Instead of feeling her calm, I felt something new and quickly stopped using my gift on her. My calming effect was doing no good. It only made her numb, and that was just as painful as the emotions she was putting off.
My quick retraction made her whimper, making me angry. Was there any way possible to help her?
"It hurts," her lips barely parted with the words. "I don't want to be here anymore."
"So you would break your last promise to Edward?" I countered her.
She inhaled sharply at the sound of his name.
"You know, you're unbearable even when your sleeping," I scoffed. "Your mood swings and emotions are going to be the death of me."
Ouch. Different mood swing.
Bella shot up, anger blazing in her chocolate brown eyes, "I didn't ask you to save me, and I most definantly did not ask you to sit in here while I was sleeping. So if I'm so damn unbearable, then how about you get away from me?"
Her fierce anger was piercing my chest like small bullets, making me just as angry as her, "No, you never asked me to save you. But my brother made me swear to keep you safe. And unlike you, I'm not selfish and I damn well hold to my word. You're pathetic, Bella."
Her teeth ground together, "I don't care what you think of me, or what anybody thinks of me. What I do with my life is no longer any of your business," she got to her feet and stormed for the door. I quickly stepped in her way, blocking her exit. "Get out of my face, Jasper. Go manipulate somebody else, you're boring me."
I had to make her stay. As much as I wanted to toss her from the house myself, I wanted to keep my world to Edward even more, "So you really didn't love Edward, did you?"
Her body turned hard as stone, and her breathing came to a halt. She didn't bother looking up, or making eye contact. But her hatred knocked me breathless.
"What did you just say to me?"
Okay, so that was a pretty long chapter.
But I hope I get good reviews. :)
And don't worry, I still plan to finish Twisted Bliss. I just got some inspiration for this fic and wanted to get it out of my system.