This chapter is a lemon. Strong, sexual content and all that good stuff. I sucked at it, so it probably isn't that bad to read. If you are uncomfortable with sex, then do not read any further. If I get any flames complaining about the sexual contact written in this chapter, I will simply ignore you. You have been warned. Also, the story rating is M for MATURE. Thank you. :)
Ok, there is going to be something different in this chapter, and I'm sure everyone will notice. I think that everyone is too busy writing Bella to be this innocent, too sweet kind of girl. The reason behind fanfiction is so people can expand and change things. I'm tired of the boring Bella. She has a new attitude in this chapter. More confident and sure of herself. So please don't freak out on me.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okayyy.
Seasons are changing,
and waves are crashing.
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter.
I can show you I'll be the one.
Bella's fear was rising, almost equal with the need and lust. Her body was tense under mine, her instincts beginning to take control. If Bella is ever frightened in the least, her body's natural instinct is to retreat. I wasn't about to let that happen, and Bella knew this.
"Jasper! -" Her voice cut off in a muffled groan, and her back arched. Her hips were grinding against mine, and I bit down on her bare shoulder. Venom spilled from my teeth and into Bella's granite skin. Her small body squirmed under mine, brushing and pushing in all the wrong places - But it felt more than right. It took a minute to click that she was struggling against me.
I pushed her shoulders back down into the grass and pulled my head up from her shoulder. Her eyes were frantic. The fast shifts between emotions was too much for her. And every mood swing came with another instinct for her to follow. I could feel the fear in her rising, already taking over the lust she'd taken me with. Her need for me was all but gone, and I could read the panic in her eyes.
Before her instincts could kick in, I pressed my lips to hers. Gently at first, until I got a response that nearly drove me mad. Her lips parted for mine, and she clawed at my back. Her hips moved in rhythm against mine, and I knew that there was no going back from this point on. None of her newborn shifts in mood could stop me.
"Damnit, Bella," The sound was rough, pleasing her. I couldn't bring myself to pull my lips away from hers. My body shook in small spasms. It took everything I had not to collapse. My arms could barely stand to hold me up any longer. I've never felt so weak; so vulnerable.
Her lips were dancing hungrily on mine, her tongue exploring mine. With what control I had, my free hand found the fasten of her pants. I didn't have the patients to un-do the buckles; I shredded the jean fabric and tossed it aside. It didn't take any time at all for Bella's hands to do the same with mine. Cold as our skin might be, there was still that familiar heat coming from Bella. She pushed her hips against mine in one last thrust before I could take no more.
I pulled my lips free from hers and tore away whatever was left on her body and mine, and pushed her legs apart with one of my own. And there was that damn fear again, pushing me even further than where I was. How could I want her anymore than I already did? Bella was panting, her breath warm against my chest. Her hands clamped down on my lower back, her nails scratching deep into my skin. The pain was welcoming, and I will never understand how it could feel so damn good.
I let my hand trail down to her thighs, and closer to the warmth that was drawing me in. I opened my eyes and stared down at Bella. My hands moved closer, by slowly. Bella bit down on her bottom lip, and she threw her head back against the ground. Her body jerked and her cries were quiet. She let one of her hands drop from my back, and cling onto my wrist. Her grip was weak, and her arms were shaking with the uncontrollable desire pumping through her.
"Please," her voice broke with that one-word plea, and she didn't have say another word. With whatever strength she had left, she pulled my hand closer to the center of her thighs, and I finally felt Bella for the first time. With one movement of my fingers, Bella gasped, and her hips were thrusting again; begging. Using one finger, I pushed past a wall I didn't know was there. Bella answered with a sharp breath, and her grip on my lower back was tighter.
Anger and shame soared through me, and I couldn't make myself move. The only sound now was Bella's quick breathing, completely unaware of just how much danger she was in. How could she not tell me? I looked down at Bella, and her eyes were open now and burning into mine. I saw no regret, no shame. Her eyes were pleading with me. She didn't have to speak for me to know what she wanted; what I wanted.
I opened my mouth to speak, and Bella was quick to make sure nothing was said. To ensure that I wasn't able to stop myself. It slipped my mind how much stronger Bella is than myself when her legs wrapped and constricted around my waist. With one fluid move, I was in. Bella bit down on her lip, trying but failing miserably, to cover the hiss that was boiling in her chest. My elbows gave in and I buried my face in the crook of her neck.
Holding myself up with one hand, my other grabbed her hips and held them in place. She flinched, fighting her instincts to escape the pain, and I couldn't make myself stop. I didn't want to make myself stop. Every swift thrust was filled with more ecstasy than the last. Bella's breathing fell into a labored pant, hissing every now and again when my teeth dug into her neck.
My venom burned into her, and I felt the power and the possesion in me. Bella was mine. Only mine. Her legs tightened around me, and her hips moved in perfect harmony with my own. A sharp pain trailed down my back, and I was suddenly angry. I knocked Bella's hands away from me, and bit down into her shoulder.
Her scream was a mix; pain, pleasure, and fury. This time her claws attacked my chest and my face. She growled and her lips pulled back over her teeth. Bella's instincts had finally won. Her body jerked upwards, and my lips took over hers. She twisted away from me, and sank her teeth into my chest. I slammed my body into hers and wrapped my free hand in her hair, pulling on it with every push and thrust of our hips.
The change of emotions racked Bella's small body. Lust and anger swimming together in a dangerous current that could kill. Her venom was dripping down my chest, burning. She pulled back, her shoulders hitting the ground with a quiet thud. Her back arched into me, and I knew I had won. Bella was still pissed, but her need for this had overcome her.
She looked up at me, and her eyes were wild. Her whimpers were soft, pulling me closer and closer until my knees began to shake. My hand clasped her hair harder, and Bella's responding moan brought me over the edge. I took my hand from her hair and grabbed her leg, pulling it up over my hip. Bella sucked in a deep breath, and her body tightened around me. Quick, jerky spasms sent her into a silent frenzy.
Everything I had was gone with one final move, and I rolled over. Bella was still breathing heavily when I sat up and glanced at the pile of shredded clothes. Now was a good time to wish I hadn't done that. Was I supposed to go home like this? I sighed and ran a hand through my tousled hair. As if it wasn't already a natural mess. Great.
"Jasper," Bella sat up and covered herself as best as she could with her arms. Why she would bother hiding what I've already seen is beyond me. I lifted an eyebrow at her, waiting for whatever she had to say. "I already have it covered." She got to her feet and smirked down at me.
"What are you talking about?" I stood up, feeling a little ridiculous. I was standing in the middle of the woods, completely naked. I picked up on her smug attitude, and instantly wanted to knock her off whatever high horse she was sitting on.
She flipped her hair and ran a hand through it, then began walking towards the direction we came from. I didn't want to, but I followed. It didn't take too long before she stopped and knelt down in front of a small shrub. She reached in, and pulled out a small, blue camping bag. When she unzipped it, I could see clothes. She pulled out a small t-shirt and jean shorts, clearly for her, then threw the bag at me.
"I'm sure you don't want to walk in the house like that," she said, her back turned to me while she slipped her clothes on. I couldn't help but notice she hadn't packed an extra bra. Once she pulled her shorts on and buttoned them, she turned to me and smiled like an innocent toddler.
"I even put a brush in the front pocket," she raised her eyebrows at my hair while putting her own messy locks into a ponytail. "I'll see you at home." With a small wave, she turned her back to me and was gone.
I stood there, staring after Bella; watching the dirty settle back into the ground where she had kicked it up. I could still feel her, the bitter-sweet smile still burning in the back of my mind. The bag dropped from my hands, and I felt my teeth grind together in frustration. Bella had known what was going to happen. She planned everything out.
And I had fooled myself into thinking I was the one who had full control.
I fell into Bella's trap.
My laugh rang out through the forest as I ran. I had won. Finally. I grinned and jumped over the creek that separated me from home. I landed with grace and sprinted for the front door. I didn't hear the TV, so Emmett was probably out and about with Rosalie. No one was sure what those two had been up to for the past couple of months, but it wasn't often they were home anymore.
I opened the door and peeked inside. I was right. The couch was vaccant, and there were no sounds through-out the house. I stepped in and flitted up the two flights of stairs, and into my room; Edwards room. There was a knot in my chest with the thought, and I put a shaking hand over my unmoving heart. My eyes pricked and tickled, and I choked up a soft cry.
Through the past couple of days, Edward had not been on my mind as much as I thought he would be - as much as he deserved to be all I thought about. I knew why Edward seemed a distant memory rather than the man who captured my heart the moment I laid eyes on him. I was no longer human, I was a vampire - and all of my human memories would, according to Rosalie, slowly fade until they were completely forgotten.
Of course, I could always save those heartbreaking moments with Edward. But the one way to do that was the one thing I was afraid to do. The one thing that was able to hurt me. I had to think about him, constantly remind myself of the moments I shared with him. As much as I knew I had to do it, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to remember the things that tore me apart from the inside out.
It was torture.
I inhaled deeply, an old human instinct I used to calm myself. Without a beating heart and blood racing through my veins, it was a wasted effort. I shook the thought of Edward from my head and kneeled down in front of my dresser, reaching for the third drawer. Inside was my favorite pair of pants. The ones that I could wear for the rest of forever and never get tired of.
My holey sweatpants looked aweful through these new eyes. I could now see why Alice always had a panic attack whenever I wore them.
I shook her from my head before I completely fell apart. From somewhere, I knew Alice was watching me through narrowed eyes, promising that she was going to kill me - even in the afterlife. Not only had I lost my virginity to her husband just twenty minutes ago, but now I was putting on these disgusting pants. I chuckled to myself, stood up, and dropped my jean shorts to my ankles. I kicked them to the other side of the room, and pulled on my cozy sweats.
It was almost like a sigh of relief, having something from my human life clinging to my body. I could smell my own human scent on them, and that only brought me closer to what I missed the most. Of course I had wanted to become a vampire. But the sole reason being was so I could be with Edward. Forever.
And forever was cut short.
He was gone, and-
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Another human urge put a crater sized hole in the wall. I mentally slapped myself, and pulled my foot out of the hole. Drywall and white dust was everywhere. Wonderful.
"We invite you into our house, and you destroy it. Nice going, Bella."
My head snapped to the doorway, my lips instinctively pulling back over my razor sharp teeth. My legs were locked, tensing to pounce. It only took a little over a second to realize that it was only Jasper. I should have known. Why I didn't hear him coming, I wasn't sure.
"Stand up," he crossed his arms over his chest and his eyes were slits.
I corrected myself, and smiled sweetly at him. I had always been a horrible actress, and I never had an ounce of confidence. For reasons unknown to me, things were very different. I placed my hands on my hips, feeling out of place, and tilted my head, "Hello to you, too."
His forehead creased a little.
"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he asked.
I chill ran down my spine at the sound of his voice. He was absolutely livid, this much was clear. But even being as mad and frightening as he is, I still wanted him. Again. I wanted to turn my face away, expecting blood to rush to my cheeks but I didn't move. I didn't wipe the smile off my face, and I didn't cave in to lust, need, embarrassment, or anything other proud satisfaction. I wasn't going to let Jasper have the best of me.
"What do you mean?" I turned and walked to the opposite side of the room, stopping infront of the full, body-length mirror.
"You know damn well what I mean," his voice was rising. "Don't play stupid, Bella."
I examined my hair, pretending I wasn't paying much attention to him. Really, though, I was trying to think of something to say. Just one thing to show him that, for once, he isn't in control. I turned to the side and studied my new body, something I haven't done yet since the transformation.
"So I wanted sex," I shrugged my petite but strong shoulders, and turned back around to look at him. The look on his face almost made me back down from my game. "Why is that such a big deal?"
"I'm the last person you want to play mind games with," Jasper took a few steps into the room, and closed the door behind him. "What the hell are you doing, Bella?"
I curled my lips in and narrowed my eyes, "It was just sex, Jasper. Why is this such a problem to you?"
"Because you were a virgin," he stated in a flat tone.
"Yeah, so?" I sighed, getting annoyed with where this was going. Sure, I enjoyed playing with him. But I didn't expect him to get mad. He is a man, and since when do men care if a girl wants to have sex with them? I started feeling a bit nervous. Maybe I was the one girl Jasper didn't want to have sex with. That any man would have sex with. Rejection was sinking in.
"So you belong to my brother," he hissed through his teeth. I could see in his eyes that he didn't like saying those words. Why? "It was bad enough that I have to live the rest of eternity knowing that I nearly killed you. But now I have to live with this. Do me a favor, Bella, and stop playing childish games."
"I don't believe seducing you falls into the category of childish games, Jasper," I stepped closer to him, watching my every move with a careful eye. I've always known Jasper to be dangerous, and I didn't want to push him too far. Just far enough. "You wanted it, too." The corner of my mouth pulled up into a subtle smirk.
A fierce growl ripped through Jasper's chest, and through his exposed teeth. Before I knew what was happening, I pinned against the wall, Jasper's solid body holding me in place. One hand was on my throat, the other over my mouth. This wasn't excruciating, but it did hurt. Fear locked my body into place, my instincts going every which way, and I didn't know which to follow. My human instincts were still slightly intact, and that's what kept me from fighting my way free.
"I am still in love with Alice," he hissed at me, his eyes wild. "What I just did with you, I'll never forgive myself. Your mind games are over, Bella. You and I are nothing, we never will be. I don't want you." His words hit me like pure, burning acid. I flinched with every word, and my eyes squeezed shut. This was the last kind of reaction I expected out of him. "Tell me if you understand what I'm saying, Bella. Because I'm not going to repeat it."
I hated this. I felt like a thirteen year old, being put in place by her parents in front of the entire school. Rejection turned to hurt, the hurt turned embarrassment. And the last one, the one Jasper saw coming; embarrassment burned into rage. My eyes snapped open, the flames in them burning into Jasper's. I could read the comprehension in his eyes, but he was a little late on timing.
My teeth sliced their way through his hand, and my palms slammed into his chest with enough power to send him through the wall. Before he hit the other side of the room, I grabbed him by his foot and my knee made thundering contact with his back.
It was surreal, everything was happening in slow motion to me. This wasn't me. I wasn't attacking Jasper. I wasn't trying to kill him. I was trapped behind my own eyes, watching myself attack him relentlessly. Jasper had known better. It only takes that one mistake. Let your guard down for even a second when it comes to a newborn, all could be lost. His mistake could cost his life.
Jasper hit the ground, and flipped to his feet. He stayed low, in a defensive crouch only ten feet away from me. I crouched down, lower than eye level with him, into an offensive position. My fingers curled with anticipation, aching to tear through him. I fought with myself, trying hard to battle my instincts. But I couldn't stop.
My lips twitched, curling back over my teeth. My mouth was pooling with venom, and my body was tensed to pounce the second he made another mistake. Another slip. Just one doorway was all I needed, and it would be done. But my anticipation was too much. I leaped and bounded across the floor, my teeth not even three feet from Jasper when an all-too-familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.
Okay, yes. Cliffhanger.
I'm a bitch.
But I gave this chapter as much as I could, trying to make up for lost time. I didn't even know it had been this long! Having a baby sure makes time fly. And I'm sorry if my lemon writing wasn't great. Haha. It took me three days to type it up. I couldn't come up with the words. But I had to test it out, and further my experiences. I hope no one minds.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed just a little bit.
Good review, faster update.
Btw, this chapter eliminated my writers block. :)