A/N: Yay! Update! I'm just on a roll! - Sam
It's been almost a year and Chloe's third birthday is coming in two months. I'm actually really excited for it! Everyone has been getting along great! Chloe is really close with her dad, Jake and Alex aren't fighting, Alex and I are really close, I'm even warming up to Jake and Ella and Alex don't hate each other! Okay, I'm getting too excited about this, I need to calm myself down. Deeps breaths, it's all good. Phew, okay, so hm where to begin. Alex... oh he's just amazing. We talk all the time and even though we can't say much in the day, he holds me all night and we talk until I fall asleep. Which according to Bill, who I tell absolutely everything since he's so easy to talk to, means that he actually gives a shit. If he didn't and just wanted to sleep with me, he could've by now. And really, he could've, because I am so attracted to him it's not even funny. Alex even started to get along with Ella for me, he tolerates her now! Chloe loves me and her and Damon are just so cute together, it's all good. Even Jake is on his best behavior, then again the wedding date is coming up soon, but besides that he's been pleasant and I don't mind him as much. Although I personally believe that's because I'm in such a good place everywhere else it just makes him more tolerable. Regardless, it's all good. And today (hopefully) won't be any different.
I won't know unless I stop with this entry. So bye for now!
Just as I hid my diary in my matress, there was a loud knock. "Are you dressed?" Alex asked from outside my door, being a gentleman.
"Yes." I said, opening the door. I would've given him a kiss but Damon and Chloe were there. "Mama!" She squeeled, reaching out for me. I eagerly grabbed her and kissed her cheek.
"How're you, sweetheart?"
"I good mommy!" She exclaimed, playing with my hair because I had yet to put it up.
I smiled. "That's great, pumkin. Now," I said, placing her down. "Let's have a tea party. You serve."
"Yay! Do you want soup?"
"Comin' up!" She said, running over to her plastic kitchen. "Daddy, you want soup?"
Damon sat down at the little plastic table, looking completely riduclous and smiled at her, "You know I do. Start cooking!" She giggled and started working in her pretend kitchen. I sat with him and Alex stood in the back, watching us.
"So can either of you tell me how Ella is?" I inquired. For the past week, we've been booked. So much that I haven't really seen her nevermind talked to her.
"She still doesn't seem to care for her fiance." Alex told me. "Jack is probably the only thing keeping her from breaking down."
"Yeah I saw her and John together when I was bringing Chloe to get a bath. She seemed scared of him." Damon added. Well isn't that just great. My sister is scared and I can't protect her.
"Alex, can you go get my father?"
He nodded. "I'll be back."
"Soup for mommy." Chloe said, putting an empty plastic bowl in front of me. "Soup for daddy." She said, putting a different empty bowl in front of him. "Want drink?"
"Water with lemon."
"I second that."
Chloe got us two empty glasses with lemon slices on the side of the glass. We pretend ate and drank which just made her delighted. She cleaned up after and offered pie, which neither of us could turn down knowing that if we didn't humor her she'd cry. It was cute and fun, plus it let me see a side of Damon I didn't know was there. He was almost sensitive, kind of...sweet. It was weird, because usually he gives of an 'I don't care' sort of feeling and his sleeping around doesn't really do him justice. So to see him caring and happy it was odd.
Alex came in with my father right behind him. "Yes, daughter?" My father said with a bored expression.
"I was thinking since we've been working so hard, that Ella and I could use a little break. I'm sure Jake and John wouldn't mind." And they wouldn't. Not if they knew what was good for them.
"Fine. I'll talk it over with them and let you know." He said before leaving.
"Your dad is a dick." Damon stated once he was gone. I smiled, not bothering to defend him. A fact is a fact after all. Doesn't mean I have to say anything to defend him.
"Language. Your daughter is listening." Alex reminded him.
"Chloe, you know you aren't allowed to say that, right sweetheart?" I asked her. She smiled and nodded. "And why is that?"
"Because it's a bad word!" Awh, Ella has trained her so well.
Amused, Damon asked, "What other bad words aren't you allowed to say?"
"I can't say because they're bad words." She said wisely.
He frowned. "That's stupid."
She gasped. "Ohhhhh you said a baaad wooooord!"
Alex and I laughed. "Stupid is a bad word?" Damon asked, confused. According to Ella.
"Ohhhh you said a baaad wooord! Bad daddy!" And apparently Chloe too. Which is probably for the best.
Chloe continued this back and forth banter, even as Jake came in. Alex just looked him over, acting like he was a piece of furniture and needed no attention, while I waited expectantly. Obviously he had a reason for being here. "I said I would agree to you and your sister having time off...if we went on a date."
My eyes narrowed. "You know, we were getting along just fine up until this point."
He laughed a little. "Come on, it's not that bad. We'll be married eventually." No, not eventually. I'm putting it off as long as I can and still trying to figure out a way to get out of it.
"Well I guess it's okay if I have my bodyguard-"
"Sarah, darling, you don't need your body guard while being with me. Your father said so. Alec or whatever your name is, you can go take a break. A servent will fetch you when we are finished." He said, dismissing Alex. Alex looked angry but I gave him a pleading look not to do anything. The last thing I need is him getting himself fired.
"Fine. But I get to end the date."
"Only if you give it a ligitimate chance." He reasoned. Ugh!
"Fine, whatever." I gave Alex a polite nod, not able to touch him or anything with Jake and now Chloe watching. "I'll see you afterwards. Please get my sister and bring her to your house. I think she needs a breather from the castle." That was hinting for her to get away from John and be with Jack.
He nodded and left. "Come, Chloe." I said, getting low to the floor to give her a big hug. I held her tightly in my arms and kissed her cheeks a bunch of times. "I love you, sweetie."
"I love you too, mommy." She kissed my cheek. "Are you leaving?"
"Yes, I have to go with Jake."
Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Oh."
Jake got down to her level and smiled friendly. "Hi, I never really got to meet you. I'm Jake." He said, holding out his hand. She gave me a glance and I nodded for her to be polite. She placed her little hand in his and shook.
"You're a very pretty little girl." He said it politely, but since I don't like him, I kind of got the feeling he was being a pedophile. Is it just me?
"Thank you." She said, before running to Damon and hugging his leg. He had an unreadable expression on his face and his arms were crossed. Jake and I both got up and Jake and him made eye contact. Jake's eyes slightly, barely widened, and I realized Damon was talking to him in his head. What the hell is he telling him that he won't say aloud? I'm not Ella!
Wait, Jake will tell me I bet. "Bye, Chloe. Bye, Damon." I said, tugging on Jake's arm. "Let's go, I want to get this over with."
Jake and Damon had their little stare out for a little while, then Jake looked down at me. "Right."
"Bye byeeee!" Chloe said, waving.
"See you later." Damon said in his light, carefree attitude. Hm, I really want to know now!
Jake walked with me, being smart and not touching me, and I waited until we were in the garden to speak. "So what did Damon tell you?" I inquired, trying to sound casual. Jake is the type that if you really want to know, he won't tell you. However if you don't really want to or care he will.
"Nothing of importance." He said in an off voice. I stopped walking and he did too. "What?"
"You just seem disturbed by it." I said, not bothering to hide my curiousity. So not only had Damon told him something that he didn't want me to hear, but it was also something that bothered Jake. This was just getting more and more interesting! "So tell me."
"I'd rather not." Something told me he meant that.
I frowned. "Then I'll ask him."
"You and I both know if he intended you to hear it he would've said it aloud."
"Then ruin it for him and just tell me, god dammit!"
"Your sister wouldn't-"
"I don't give a shit! Tell me!" I ordered, getting more annoyed by the second. He has no right to hide things from me! I hide things from him, not the other way around!
"Maybe I will at the end of the date."
I glowered and he just smirked, returning to his normal annoying self completely. He looped his arm around mine and pulled me to his side. "Now let's go for a stroll." He said, walking through the maze in the garden. I walked with him, fuming and looking around but playing along so he would tell me what Damon had said.
Maybe he told him that I was crazy and would kill myself if he was the father of my children. Which I mean, isn't that crazy, but to Jake it might seem crazy. Or he said something about Chloe? Like maybe he told him that if Chloe never accepts him it is morally wrong to force me into marriage, since my daughter comes first to my love life. All of which...well makes sense. If Damon didn't use that, I think I might.
"So tell me about yourself. What do you enjoy doing?"
Now, of all times, he choses to have a human conversation, in the midst of my thinking process. "Nothing. I enjoy being lifeless and dull. How could you ever be interested in such a creature?"
He laughed. "Those are two adjectives I would never associate with you, nor would anyone else. Try again."
I sighed. "I don't know. Spending time with Chloe, my sister, etc." Or spending time with Alex... I smiled at the thought.
"See? You're smiling. This isn't so bad either, is it?"
"Yeah, sure. What about you?"
"Running." Okay, I didn't peg him for that really. Well he is a dog...
"I hate running." I stated, not lying one bit. Sometimes I have the urge to but most of the time I don't. Maybe it's because I also see running as stupid. In many senses. Like running away is stupid, even though I was going to, it's a stupid way to handle things.
Not saying that I don't. "What else do you hate?"
"You." I said, half jokingly. I like to say I don't hate anyone. But I don't know at times I really don't like him and it could be considered hate.
He chuckled, apparently taking it as a joke. "Okay, what's-"
"I don't like this game. How about we play a different one."
Jake smiled, amused. "Like 'Would You Rather?'" Never heard of it.
I gave him a confused look. "How do you play that?"
"It's not difficult. We take turns asking questions, all starting with 'Would you rather' and then we just give two difficult options. Want to try?"
What the hell, why not? "Sure."
"Okay. Would you rather... like an old man's foot or cut off your beautiful blond hair?"
"Um, how old is the man, and how much would I cut off?"
"Wrinkly old. And you would cut it to your ears in a bowl cut."
I grimaced. "Those are horrible options!"
"That's the point." He laughed.
"Hmm... I would lick the foot, it only lasts for a moment while my hair would take forever to grow back."
He laughed again. "Nice choice. Your turn to ask a question."
I thought for a moment. "Would you rather wear pink for the rest of your life or marry a donkey?"
"How much pink?"
"Completely dressed in pink."
He frowned. "Would I have to have sex with the donkey on the honeymoon?"
I laughed. "No, you would never have to sleep with the donkey. But you can't cheat on it either. So no sex for you if you don't want to have sex with your donkey wife."
He thought about it. "I would marry the donkey. I couldn't wear pink all the time. I would never get a wife that way."
"So you'd take a donkey one instead!" I cracked up.
He joined in my laughter. "At least I'd have one."
"What a life." I said sarcastically.
Jake smiled. "Would you rather... be a nudist for your entire life or be a stripper for a week?"
I seriously pondered this for a moment. Having everyone see me naked all the time or stripping for horny alcoholics at a club only for a week with the loss of my dignity. Hm. "Stripper for a week."
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Shut up. Would you rather eat toenails everyday for a year or sleep in shit for one night?"
"Can I have air freshener in the shit?"
"And how many toenails a day?"
"A whole bowl. Like it's cereal."
"I think I would sleep in the shit. It's only one night and toenails?" He shivered. "I don't think I could."
I laughed. "Werewolves can eat raw animal flesh but can't handle a little bit of toenail?" I teased.
He laughed. "That's not a little, that's a lot! A whole bowl!"
He smirked, "Awe, you're using a pet name, how cute."
"Am not! I'm talking a whinning, crying, pooping baby. That's what you are."
"Whatever you say."
The game continued like this for an hour. We had made it through the maze three times now and he stopped at the gateway to the garden, smiling at me. "Have you forgotten about Damon speaking to me in my head?" He asked.
As a matter of fact, I had. I had forgotten about everything actually. Even Alex. Weird... "Well until now. You could've gotten away with not telling me if you hadn't reminded me. But you did so now you have to." I informed him.
"Oh contraire, I have the information, I don't have to tell you anything." He paused. "But I will as long as I get one thing in return."
"And what would that be?"
A kiss. He wants me to kiss him? Is he on drugs? "Okay, I can go get some fish for you to kiss if you want."
"Not from a fish, beautiful, from you."
My eyes narrowed. "That's a dumb idea."
"Not really. We'll kiss on our wedding day and well it's expected. I haven't pressed this issue and I won't because showing affection is entirely up to you. But, think of it this way. Would you rather not know...or kiss me and find out?"
Irritation spiked in me; he got me. After all this difficulty, I really had to do something because of my damn curiousity. I put my hand on his cheek, pulled him down and touched my lips to his warm ones. His tongue forced its way into my mouth, touching anything it could. His hands were on my waist and mine were on his face and while it was warm and seemed a bit passionate because of my annoyance with him, it was nothing like my kisses with Alex. Alex's were demanding, extremely passionate, addictive and delightful. This with Jake was sloppy in comparison.
After far too long, I pulled back and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "Tell me."
He smiled, savoring the moment, before going serious. "He said I needed to watch myself, that I was treading in deep water by messing with his brother's girl. The only one capable of doing that, the only person who's job it was, was his."
There was a lot of things wrong with that...but a lot kind of cute. In Damon's own demented way, he was helping and defending his brother. However he shouldn't have called me his brother's girl, especially to my fiance, but that's the dumbass for you. Plus, there's that bit about it being his job to mess with his brother's girl. He was completely kidding, right?
Knowing Damon, probably not. Instead of commenting on it at all, which is a bad idea considering what Jake is suppose to be to me, I avoided it and told Jake, who was waiting for me to comment, "So you said you would tell me at the end of the date. Is this the end of the date?"
He stared at me for a moment. "Yes. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did." In all honesty, it was fun...until that last part. That was just bad on so many levels.
"Yes, well, I'll be in my room. Send Alex to me when he comes." I said, running to my room before he could say anything else. Once I got there, I called Bill in need of my favorite movie. I didn't want to think about my 'date' with Jake or what Damon had said or anything really. Hence why Bill and Phantom of the Opera, works. I watched it for my first time with him and have made him watch it over and over again. He doesn't even care anymore and has actually learned the songs for me. Isn't he a great best friend?
I think so. Even though we started it as fake, I'm feeling like it's a real friendship. Although, I can't say the same for him, but I'm also not sure if I want the answer so I won't even ask.
"Alright, I'm here with the glorious DVD. Do you have the popcorn?"
I giggled. "Vampires eat popcorn?"
"Well we can. We don't need it. We only need blood and well most human food tastes like nothing. Except you know bloody meat. And ice cream. Ice cream we can taste."
"That's so random. But then why not ask for ice cream instead of popcorn?" I asked.
He put the DVD in the DVD player and then sat down. "Because people eat popcorn when watching movies, not ice cream." Duhh, of course, that makes sense.
"Well I want to sing along quietly so I don't want any. And yes I'm being inconsiderate to you, deal with it." I sat next to him. I grabbed the remote and was just about to press play when Alex came in.
"I'm back." He stated, giving Bill a small glare of recognition. Bill sat back happily. "Hi Alex!" He exclaimed.
I smiled. "We're watching a movie. Want to join?"
He stood behind us. "Sure."
"You know, you can sit down..."
"I don't want to." Fine, fine, I see how it is.
"Suit yourself." I said, pressing play. The music in Phantom of the Opera is amazing. The phantom has an amazing voice and there is an awesome amount of romance. Bill preferred Ralph but Alex ended up liking the phantom. I could see why both of them preferred who they liked. Ralph was the sweet one and Bill really was a sweetheart past his stingy, selective man whore exterior. While the phantom was dark and troubled, a brooding character much like Alex. Minus the deformity on his face, Alex's face is perfect.
So, Bill sang along with Ralph's lines and Alex occasionally murmured along with some of the repeated phantom's lines, or the predictable ones. I sang Kristy's, obviously, her being the only real female lead. One of my two favorite songs, All I Ask of You, I sang with Bill. At this point, we were basically acting out the movie, and it was so much fun. But I could feel Alex's stare on us the entire time and it wasn't a happy one.
When my second favorite song came up, I was surprised when it suddenly stopped just before the lyrics came. I looked at Bill. "This is one of my favorite's, why are you stopping it?"
"I want to hear you sing it, even if it's with the phantom. I like hearing you sing." My voice was nothing compared to Kristy's. Actually, my voice wasn't really that good at all, so I was surprised that he liked my singing. "But I have to go to the bathroom. So wait."
I groaned but waited. "So...the song is with the phantom?" Alex asked me. I nodded. "Can I have the lyrics for it?" I wasn't sure why he wanted it but I was just happy he wanted to know words to my favorite song. I got him them on my phone through the internet and he read them. When Bill came back he gave me back my phone. I stood up and pressed play as Bill sat down.
"Go away for the trap it is set and waits for it's prey." It started, only this time, the phantom wasn't singing alone. I actually froze.
"You have come here
In pursuit of your deepest urge
In pursuit of that wish which till now
Has been silent
I have brought you
That our passions may fuse and merge
In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses
Completely succumbed to me
Now you are here with me
No second thoughts
Decided." Alex sang, his voice so strong yet so soft, it put the Phantom's voice to shame.
"Past the point of no return
No backward glances
Our games of make-believe are at an end.
Past all thought of "if" or "when"
No use resisting
Abandon thought and let the dream descend."
He moved behind me and grabbed me from the back, his hand on my neck. I leaned back into him, enjoying his touch as much as I enjoy his voice.
"What raging FIRE shall flood the soul
What rich desire unlocks it's door
What sweet seduction lies before us?
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
What warm unspoken secrets
Will we learn
Beyond the point of no return?"
It was my turn to sing, I turned to him and looked deeped into his eyes, singing softly and quietly along with the lyrics but actually meaning them, "You have brought me
To that moment when words run dry
To that moment when speech disappears
I have come here,
Hardly knowing the reason why
In my mind I've already imagined
Our bodies entwining
Defenseless and silent,
Now I am here with you
No second thoughts
My voice started getting stronger,
"Past the point of no return
No going back now
Our passion-play has now at last begun.
Past all thought of right or wrong
One final question
How long should we two wait before we're one?
When will the blood begin to race
The sleeping bud burst into bloom
When will the flames at last CONSUME us?"
Alex pulled me close and at the same time, we pushed away from each other and went on opposite sides of Bill, so in sync, "Past the point of no return
The final threshold
The bridge is crossed
So stand and watch it burn
We've passed the point of no return."
We met again behind Bill and Alex took me in his arms and sang softly into my ear, as if it were only for me to hear, "
Say you'll share with me
One love, one lifetime
Lead me, save me from my solitude
Say you want me
With you here
Anywhere you go
Let me go too
Sarah that's all I ask of… " He sang, ending it actually singing my name instead of Christine's. Of course, in the movie, she rips of his mask and some girl screams. And while I registered that scream and that it was all going into chaos in the movie, for me, in real life, I had realized so much more.
From the way Alex was looking at me, he wanted me for me.
And I definitely want him.
She was in my arms and for a moment, it was just her and I, and it was like nothing I'd ever felt. So many emotions, many with names and many without. Desire, want, need, love. Love... do I really love her or is that just what I'm calling this...
I am unsure what would've happened but I do know that William broke our moment. "Look, she choses Ralph in the end."
"They're more right for each other I suppose." Sarah commented, sitting next to the annoying shit on the couch. Irritation sparked in me. Why does it always end like that? Just because they're 'more right'? What does that even mean? More importantly, why did William's character get the girl? My girl!
The anger intensified as I thought of Ralph, or in this case William, with my girl. Only she wasn't my girl...she was Jake's. The burning intensified. No, she is definitely my girl. Sarah is my girl and it's about time I tell her that that's what I want. This rage, this jealousy, this fire continued to burn inside me until finally William left.
"Well that was...interesting."
"Hm, you know what I find interesting. William's interest in you. How do you feel about that?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound as jealous as I felt.
She laughed. "Alex, are you jealous?"
I think she said it teasingly. However I couldn't control my facial expression and she noticed and went serious. "Wait, you're really jealous?"
How does one answer this and get an advantage. I shrugged and she broke into a smile. "Alex is jealous! Alex is jealous! Alex is jealous! Alex is jealous! Alex is jealous! Alex is jealous!" Sarah chanted, running around me. I grabbed her and pinned her against the wall. She stopped and stared into my eyes. "Yes?"
"I want you as mine." I whispered, my face inches away from hers.
"Particularly..." She trailed, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Now?"
I didn't answer her with words. I answered her with a rough, passionate kiss.
A/N: You have no idea how long this has taken me. Like I've had it in mind for the longest time, but getting it down was a bitch. My mind is all over the place, I'd like to blame it on my parents messy divorce but I can't. It's just me in general and my mind is just -sigh- a mess all the time, always has been. Anyways, it's out! And I would like to dedicate this chapter to Hira, my wife hehehe, 'cause its her BIRHTDAY NEXT WEEEK! YAAAAAAAY! Thank you all for reading and pleeeaaase review! - Sam