A/U: Yes, there's a hot lemon at the end. But you have to wade through the angst first. ;)
Rating: M - as in mature!! No kiddies allowed. Seriously.
A SasuSaku Oneshot
Like some fanatic watchman, Sakura Haruno watched the night unfold from the opening of her bedroom window.
The green, moth-eaten curtains that came with the apartment were drawn to the side. Her arms were propped on the bottom ledge of the window, and her legs were tucked comfortably beneath her on the bed. The wood was worn and smooth, and her arms looked relaxed against the frame, but if Sakura were to lift up her arms she would see angry red marks, indented on her skin from leaning against the window all night long.
Her feet were cold and her night clothes didn't really protect her against the cool breeze, but she couldn't bother to slip under the blankets of her bed.
There was something tense about her posture as she gazed at the outside. She was stiff from the cold and stiff from staying in one position for so long.
It was a rough night for Sakura that offered no sleep. Her mind was far too restless. After tossing and turning for an hour, she finally moved away from her tear-soaked pillow and opened the window above the bed, letting the cool air wash away the burning sensation in her tight throat and lungs, and dry away the tears from her wet face.
Instead of lying back down, she leaned forward against the window ledge and looked out at the lights from the village. The lights were nothing but a blur to her wet eyes, but after a while her vision cleared up and she could see the lights clearly.
From the fifth floor of her building, she had a good view of the village, she could see the lights from street-lamps and buildings stretching all the way to the Hokage mountain on the other side of town. There were no tall trees or buildings to obstruct her view of the sky, so she could also see the moon and stars.
Somewhere out there, Sakura knew a team of Anbu was returning to Konoha. In the cover of night they would move quickly and with efficiency. If they kept up a fast pace, they would be back by noon of the next day.
Since Sakura loved her village and was a dedicated medic, she hoped for their safe return.
However, there was another part of Sakura that dreaded their arrival. Or rather, there was one man in particular, she dreaded seeing.
She sucked in a breath of the cool air as her throat tightened again with emotion. She had work that needed to be done the next day, and she was determined to have a reign on her emotions by then.
You are one cold woman, Sakura.
His hateful words filled her mind.
If there was one skill Sakura could boast of- any skill besides her super strength and incredible chakra control- it would be her ability to remember words.
It was like a special power. A reflection of her mental prowess. She could quote any text book after just one read through and could rattle off detailed descriptions from medical scrolls to any person who was willing to listen. Even as a child she was especially gifted in remembering words that other people said to her in person. It helped if she could match up the person's voice with the words in her head.
In the Academy days Iruka praised her ability to remember various lessons. Thinking back, he was probably just happy that anyone was paying attention at all. But Sakura still
remembered his kind words and took them to heart. She strived to be the best in her studies ever since that time.
It wasn't until she started training under Tsunade to become a medic, that her ability to remember words kicked into high gear. As her desire to become stronger increased, so did her special memory. It was as if all her hidden potential was released at once by Tsunade's intensive training.
While working on a patients on the operating table, under the intense light and surrounded by the smell of antiseptic, with her brows furrowed in concentration and with sweat beginning to prickle on the back of her neck, the words would suddenly appear in her mind, just as clear as if the text itself was before her… start incision 3cm above wound carefully avoiding major organs… infuse chakra to underlying wound… careful to mend organ tissue before surrounding muscle tissue… and the words would continue on and on until the process was finished. Her hands would move on their own accord, following through with each detailed instruction.
Other medics would later tell her that she moved as if she were in a trance, and say that her hands moved with a robotic precision. They would praise her skill and precision and Sakura would hungrily take in their words- burning them to her memory. Tsunade would never praise her as much during her training days, but Sakura could still feel her approval as she completed each task.
As with many things, there was a downside to her special gift. Privately, Sakura thought this bad side was The Curse. While she was able to remember many good things, there were also many bad things that she would rather forget. Spiteful words, terrible fights, and less than pleasant encounters at the grocery store would remain forever rooted in her mind.
The most haunting memories made her want to curl up and hide her face in shame.
At this moment, she was haunted by a bad memory.
Sakura could still see him clearly in her mind, sitting on the edge of his bed with his back turned towards her. His hands gripped tightly in to the dark blue cover of the bed, the symbol of the Uchiha fan was clear on his tense back. With his head tilted down she could only see his tips of his spiky raven hair.
That night, he must have been going through some bad memories, too. It was something she could relate to, and it hurt her to see him in pain. She moved closer to the bed and reached out a hand to comfort him.
"Don't touch me," he warned in a low voice.
Sakura lowered her hand, feeling cowed. His tone wasn't especially harsh, but it still hurt when he said things like that. She knew how Sasuke was extra-sensitive about touching at times, and blamed it on the unnamed experiments that happened with Orochimaru. She was always curious, but never probed, knowing that questions would put a rift between them.
Sasuke never opened up to her, and it hurt sometimes, but she always assumed it was for the best. He wanted to shield her from the darkness within him, or so Sakura thought. Even though Sasuke never told her directly, Sakura knew that he wanted to protect her, and so she remained faithfully by his side.
Not being able to touch at times put a limit on their relationship, but she still remained with him, regardless.
After all, wasn't this the boy she said she would love for the rest of her life?
Even if he didn't respond, she still wanted to reach out and show him that she cared. She felt his pain, and knew how he hurt! Most of all, Sakura wanted him to know how she would always be there for him.
Any other night she would have backed off and left him alone, but this particular night she felt emboldened. Perhaps it was the darkness of the room, or the fact that she entered his apartment without him chasing her away, but Sakura felt that things would somehow be different this time.
Things were different that night, but not in the way she expected.
She reached out her hand again, placing it lightly on his shoulder, then slowly, she began to stroke her fingers up and down his neck in what she hoped was a comforting caress.
And that's when he snapped.
"I said don't touch me!" he shouted. He shot up from the bed violently and turned towards her. It all happened with speed Sakura could barely comprehend. Suddenly a feeling of panic dropped down into her stomach. Her senses went on high alert.
He was approaching her now, but not with the intent to attack. His eyes were red like flames, but his hands stayed firmly by his side.
"Don't you know, that he used to touch me like that?!" he said. His voice was low again, but there was an intensity to his words.
Sakura backed away slowly, she no longer felt panicked, but still watched him warily as he approached.
He fixed his burning eyes on her, taking one deliberate step after another as he approached. "He used to touch me like that all the time," he said, a low growl escaping his lips. "It was his way of trying to put a claim on my body. And so now I hate it… hate it when people touch me like that!"
Sasuke suddenly stopped in his tracks and dropped down, clutching his head. The pain was overtaking his body, as a result from the outburst of emotion and stress. As a medic, Sakura could have given him a step-by-stop play of everything that was happening- the words were flying through her mind, appearing as clearly as they did in the operating room. But instead of telling him, she kept her mouth closed, trapping the words within.
A moment of silence passed as she stood by watching him.
Moonlight poured into the room through the windows, lighting up some of his features and casting a dark shadow on the rest. He was still on his knees on the hard wooden floor. His breathing evened out, but he still clutched at his head in pain.
She couldn't explain it… she wanted to feel sympathy… sympathy for his pain. After all, she always wanted to be that kind person, thoughtful who gave him comfort. She also wanted to feel happiness… happiness that he was finally opening up to her.
But instead, some inner part of Sakura was insulted. She didn't quite understand it herself, but at that time, in Sasuke's most vulnerable moment, Sakura could only feel one thing:
It was anger.
"How could I possibly know that?" she snapped, her hands tightening into fists. "How could I possibly know something like that?! Sasuke, you never tell me anything!"
Perhaps if her reached out to her, or if she stayed behind to comfort him, things could have ended differently that night. As it were, Sasuke remained silent, focusing only on his pain. And Sakura, who could only feel her temper beginning to flare up at that point, decided to leave.
She turned her back and headed to the door.
"You are one cold woman, Sakura," were the only words that left his lips, in a very quiet voice.
She was already through the door at that point. Sakura wasn't meant to hear those words, she knew, and she pretended not to hear them as slammed the door on her way out.
They were no longer together. He probably thought she was a traitor for abandoning him, and she… well, she didn't want to even think about it.
Like many things that happened in their relationship, the break-up went unspoken.
They made it clear to each other by having no contact since that night. Apparently, the feeling that things couldn't work out was mutual. It wasn't until a week later that Sakura even learned that Sasuke was no longer in the village, and that he was sent out with the latest team of Anbu.
Another week went by still, and Sakura mostly kept to herself. Silent or not, the pain of the break-up was still fresh. If she acted oddly docile during the following days, the other medics at the hospital made no comment. Instead they enjoyed strange calm that came from Sakura, preferring it over her notorious bad tempers. So the days passed on and she kept her emotions in check.
Now on the dawn of his return. She was an emotional wreck. Her pillow is stained with tears. If only Sasuke could see her now, he wouldn't think that she was a cold woman. In fact, he would see that he was the reason why she cries.
The words he said to her that night were now imprinted on her mind. Although he said it quietly, she could still hear his voice clearly.
You are one cold woman, Sakura.
Those words shouldn't hurt as much as they did, because Sakura knew they weren't true, and yet a fresh pain tore at her heart when she heard them. Like toxin, the words slowly worked their way through her thoughts. Instead of expelling it, she kept everything to herself, and a bitterness began to form.
She spent two weeks trying to forget everything that happened between them. She did her best to suppress her thoughts, and feelings for a time, but she could never truly forget. Now that she allowed herself to think about it, the pain and emotions were just as fresh and raw as the night it all happened. From deep within, her true feeling began to surface.
Perhaps all this time, she was just making a fool of herself. After all, it was a well-known fact that Sakura Haruno would refuse any boy who approached her. She had her heart set out for one boy, and one boy alone, no matter how impossible that relationship seemed. She would wait for that single boy until the end of time. All other boys would have to give up hope and move on.
Sakura had only one desire that spurred her on during the time after Sasuke and Naruto left the village, and that was to see that they both returned safely. She wanted to be there to support them when they got back. So she trained hard under Tsunade's tutelage, gaining new strengths, so she could be as strong as them.
Sakura was glad when one of her team-mates returned to the village, but it wasn't the one that she longed for… So they both set out looking for the Uchiha boy. During those times Sakura received a stab wound through the stomach and fought more freaks than she cared to remember. She nearly tasted death for his sake.
They did find him, eventually, and they brought him back home. There was no medic more dedicated than Sakura during the time of his recovery. While he laid unconscious on the hospital bed, she personally healed all of his wounds. And even against his protests, she stayed by his side, ensuring that he had full recovery.
Eventually, he stopped pushing her away. Others soon accepted them as a couple and they spent more time together- never touching, but she accepted that, thinking as long as she could be with him it would be enough. So she bares her heart to him, hoping that one day she would know his thoughts as well.
But he never reveals his thoughts to her, and they never touch, and the relationship seems empty. And when he finally reveals something to her…
He called her a cold woman.
And it hurt.
In a few short words it was if all of her actions up to that point had been summed up and deemed unworthy. She poured out everything to him hoping one day he would respond with some kindness and affection- possibly even love. Instead, she had her heart torn to a million pieces.
Did she expect anything more from their relationship? Yes, much more. But at the moment she couldn't possibly see how.
A sudden draft filled the room and she sensed another's presesnce.
Sakura recognized his chakra immediately.
There was something dark and intense about his presence. The Anbu uniform exposed his pale arms and showed off his sleek form. His spiky raven hair poked over the top of his animal mask. He was still in full uniform with his gloves and arm-guards. Sakura cold see the katana sheathed in the holster on his back. He was always good with blades, she knew. It was one of his deadliest weapons.
But the deadliest weapons of all were hidden behind his mask.
"You're back early," she managed to say. She pulled down at her night-shirt, tugging it down over her exposed legs.
A whole day early.
Sasuke reached up and pulled off his Anbu mask, revealing his two Sharingan eyes. Red, and glowing in the moonlight. The tomoes were slowly swirling around the center, showing his calm state of mind.
"Sakura…" he said. There was a level of emotion in his voice that Sakura never heard before. She felt her throat tighten in response.
Then all at once he was gone. Sakura was starring at an empty spot.
Another blast of cold came through the window.
A gentle finger was tracing her arm.
"Sakura," he said again.
Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin. He was behind her now, just a hands-breathe away. She could feel the heat from his body radiating off in waves, and his warm breathe stirred the hairs on the back of her neck. She froze. He had never been this close to her before.
"Will you forgive me?" he asked.
Sakura couldn't form a response. The Uchiha Sasuke she knew never asked for forgiveness.
He was even closer now, slowly running his hands over her arms. Sakura choked out a sob, knowing that this was his way of reaching out to her. The emotions were too much and she was suddenly feeling light headed and dizzy, and all at the same time deliriously happy. It was like she was floating in mid-air, and all from this single touch. In all their time together, it was only his contact that she craved most.
She wondered at this sudden change in the Uchiha.
She didn't want their first embrace to be like this… with her sobbing and crying, but she really couldn't control her emotions. The tears were running freely now down her face.
Sasuke was holding her in his arms now. His embrace was stiff, but it was the most Sakura ever had, and she thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world. She rested her head on his rigid chest, letting hear tears soak into the uniform. He was running his fingers through her hair now and slowly stroking her back. Little by little he was becoming familiar with her features.
While her face was pressed into his chest, he marveled at her hair. Sasuke held out a pink strand threaded between his fingers and wondered at the color and silky texture. Then he let the strand drop and traced his fingers over her back, feeling the planes of her back and traced his fingers over a shoulder blade. He supported her in his embrace. She was still sobbing. The week had been stressful and her nerves were high-strung, and the emotions of the moment were too much for her to handle.
He was shushing her the best he could while rubbing her back. He was uncertain about his actions, but instinctively knew this had to be right. He tried his best to offer whatever comfort he could provide. Finally, after regaining control over her emotions, Sakura looked up at him. Her green eyes looked almost as if they were glowing.
"I knew you cared," she said, gasping. There was a croak in her voice.
Sasuke had no response. It took all of his effort alone to just hold her… and not pull away.
She was still looking up at him, looking up at his face from an unfamiliar angle. He supposed that he never looked down at her like this, either. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were slightly flushed. There were tear stains that trailed down her face. But still, he thought that she was beautiful. Her complexion was still pale and smooth, perfectly framed by her pink hair. Those green eyes were persuasive and held his attention. There was a certain allurement about her that Sasuke could never pin down.
"Sasuke," she asked, her voice was quiet. "Is it alright… if I touched you?"
Sasuke stiffened, and he knew that she felt his arms go rigid.
A moment went by.
And another moment.
Suddenly, Sakura was beginning to regret ever asking. She was asking for too much. It was a wonder enough that he was holding her at all. She was being too selfish now. She knew that Sasuke did not hold himself out of cruelty, but rather there was a deep underlying fear, a mental scarring, that he associated with touching.
"Yes," he finally responded, gasping out the word.
Sakura tried not to let the shock show on her face. She was feeling light-headed again – the delirious happiness, but she let none of it show as she slowly reached out a hand.
She raised her hand slowly, as if reaching out to a wounded animal. Sasuke didn't flinch when she touched his face, but she felt a distinct shudder run through his body. She could almost see the thoughts running through his mind. The memories of darker days when he was touched against his will. Her keen medic eyes caught every motion as she lightly pressed down and began to trace his jaw-line. She realized the great amount of self-control he was enforcing on himself to keep from lashing out.
Sakura made sure that her touches were gentle and not possessive. His skin was cool and perfectly smooth – just as she always imagined. He had chiseled features and a strong jaw-line. His nose was perfectly straight; a testament to never have been broken.
Sasuke could see the wonder in her alluring green eyes as she became familiar with his face. Suddenly her eyes were running down his body and she was asking permission for other things.
"Yes," he said. Sakura didn't even voice the question.
She was running two hands now along his body. Her touches were gentle, almost worshipful, as she ran her hands along the plane of his chest and along his arms. She was also feeling the texture of his uniform. Once her hands reached the bottom of his shirt, she looked up at him again. Those green eyes were questioning, persuasive.
Sasuke removed the Katana holster from his back and slid off the strap that went around his body. It was all the permission Sakura needed as she commenced to pull off his shirt. The elastic material gave away easily as she pulled it over his arms and head. The whole top of his body was exposed now, and he shivered in the cold.
He could feel her eyes as they raked over his form. With deft touches she was feeling along the muscles of his stomach. She was stroking along his.
Something stir deep inside him. All of Sakura's caresses were awakening a different sort of feeling, and it was surprising even him.
He grabbed her wrists to still her movements. She looked up at him, fear written over her face.
Sasuke assured her with a wry smile.
"My turn," he said simply and moved her hands aside so he could began feeling her.
He began mostly the same way she had, lightly tracing his hands up and down her body. She was supple and gave in to his touches. Sakura was only dressed in her night-shirt and no wrappings, when Sasuke brushed against her breasts he managed to illicit a gasp. He did it again, this time over the hard peaks and was rewarded with a low moan.
He loved the sound of her moans, and was determined to hear more.
Sakura could feel the heat inside of her building up. Sasuke's touches were sending delicious tingles down her spine.
Sasuke slipped his hands underneath her shirt, feeling the impossibly smooth skin beneath. He rested his hands on her hips and pulled her close.
Sakura was completely caught up in his gaze. She followed the slow spin of his red eyes. Their faces were only inches apart now and he was staring at her lips. She knew what he wanted to do, and the thought sent her heart racing.
He pressed his lips against hers, taking in the sweet taste of her lips. Sparks ran down her spine and delicious rush went through her body. His lips were soft and insistent, inquisitive and questing.
He let out a groan before pressing his lips against hers again and again. Sasuke was becoming hungry – needy for her touch, and Sakura responded in kind. Who knew that touching could be like this? She was feeling euphoric again, she was walking on air, and he felt the same way. Suddenly he was raining kisses down her face. Sakura ran her fingers through his hair, reveling in the feeling. He was proving to be a skilled lover, and Sakura couldn't help but think this was all the hidden passion he kept up inside.
When he captured her mouth again with his lips he was hot and hungry as ever. She felt his tongue and another jolt ran through her body. The heat was building up between her legs.
"Sasuke," she gasped.
He was beginning to demand more. Before Sakura could fully grasp what was happening, she found her back pressed flat against the bed. Somewhere in the past five seconds Sasuke had managed to move them both to the bed. Sasuke was over her, breathing in her scent now. He was moving quick, and Sakura could understand why. Not touching all these years could make a person especially sensitive.
He was on top of her quickly, eager to completely ravage her. Sakura could only comply breathlessly. He was kissing her again, running his hot lips along her neck and shoulder. All at once he was pressing down on her. He slid between her legs and Sakura could feel his hardness straining against his pants. He was moaning and hissing as he pressed against her, too caught up in the pleasure to notice anything else.
Sakura pressed up against him and rolled her hips against his so it was longer just him grounding against her. Her panties were completely drenched at this point, and she could feel him pushing against the dampness and heat.
There was a look of absolute concentration on his face.
Sakura forced Sasuke to stop. She could sense his frustration but was firm in her decision as she began to remove her panties. Sasuke took the opportunity to remove his own pants, finally springing free his hard length. Sakura could visibly see the relief on his face and he moved to press down on her again, this time more intimately than before.
The slide of their skin on skin was intense and sent sparks through his vision.
Sasuke gave another low groan. He wasn't going to last much longer.
"Sakura," he gasped. "Look at me."
Sakura opened her eyes and looked straight into his. The tomoes around his Sharingan were moving, spinning in a beautiful kaleidoscope of black and red. She was instantly captured by those eyes and with a sense of trepidation continued to gaze into the Sharingan. Pleasure shot between her legs, tingles running up and down her body, and a heat was building in the pit of her stomach. She trembled in anticipation. She didn't think it was possible but the heat and dampness increased between her legs until she was sure was dripping on to the covers of the bed. The feelings were becoming more intense and she was filled a hot and desperate with need.
Sasuke never broke his gaze as he slowly slid into her. She was tight, but needy. The heat and dampness was absolute euphoria. He slid his eyes shut as he took in the pleasure. Sakura was no longer under the influence of the Sharingan, but at this point it didn't matter as she was already hot and desperate for his touch. She closed her own eyes and let her head fall back as she became accustomed to the feeling of him inside of her. Her muscles gave a slow flutter around him, and they both groaned in pleasure.
He was rocking against her. They both started out slow, relishing the intense feeling as they both rubbed against each other. As they fell in sync their pace quickened.
They were both panting now.
"Sasuke, harder," she insisted, "faster." And he did. They were quickly building into a frenzy. Their heat filled the room and the only other sounds were their gasps and moans. Sakura could feel a hot tear run down her face as she was desperate for release. The Sharingan caused her to become, desperate, wet, and mad with desire. She needed release so much that it was almost painful. Sasuke was deep inside her now and she gasped every time he pushed against her core. She could feel the pleasure building and knew that the peak was not far off. But she trembled at the thought, knowing that it would be intense – far more than she had ever experienced. It was almost frightening.
Sakura let out a sob, release was so near.
Sasuke was moving harder, desperate to reach his own climax as well.
Suddenly, and without warning, orgasm ripped through her. She could feel the intense pleasure spinning out of control. Sparks filled her vision and she began to move her head back and forth against the bed. The heat that was building up deep in her core finally spilled over. Her fingers, which were already gripping on to Sasuke's back, dug in, leaving behind deep, angry, red marks. She was moaning and gasping, and calling out his name. Her muscles clenched around him wildly as she rode out the waves of pleasure. She was dizzy with euphoria.
It was too much for Sasuke to handle. Within in moments after, he was gone. He moved his frenzied hips into hers, grounding in as deep as possible. She was still hot, and wet, and tight, and her muscles still fluttered around him as he found his release. An explosion of light filled his vision. He ground out against the pleasure, slowing down into a final, broken rhythm.
They were gasping now. Sasuke nearly collapsed on top of Sakura in exhaustion. He was completely drained of energy. They were both hot and covered in sweat. The sheets around them were tangled, and he noticed, for the first time, that Sakura still had her shirt on.
Sasuke slowly pulled out of Sakura, and watched as the fluids spilled out on to the bed. He gently moved Sakura aside and laid down next to her. She was in no state to move by herself – too exhausted by the excursion of their love-making.
There were tear-stains on her cheeks. She had been crying a lot tonight, he noticed, but this time it was all right, because at long last, there was also a smile on her face. Sasuke pulled her into an embrace, pressing her back against his chest. He tucked her head underneath his chin. And for the first time in his life, he was happy that he could feel.
Both of their breathing had fallen into a steady rhythm.
Sasuke through the covers over them and settled into the warmth. At long last, he could feel the sleep begin to overtake him.
Just as he was beginning to doze off, he remembered a very important thought.
"Sakura," he prodded her awake.
She stirred slightly.
After a moment she turned and regarded him with cool green eyes. The same eyes that were hot with passion just moments before.
"I don't think you're a cold woman," he said calmly.
He cut her off. "I know you heard me say those words. It's important, I need you to understand that I was having a bad memory. When I said those words… I wasn't talking about you."
Sakura's eyes were wide with realization. "Oh…" she breathed. It was the only word that escaped her lips.
"In fact," Sasuke continued. "You are one of the warmest—"
He accentuated the word with a kiss.
"wonderful person I know," he finished.
At this point, Sakura was smiling at him.
"And just wanted you to know," she gushed. "That I forgave you. I forgave you a long time ago. In fact, I wanted to tell you earlier, but…"
Sasuke silenced her with another kiss.
She was content after that – his words now forever branded in her mind. And they held an understanding. Their relationship was going to change.
He pulled her luxuriously into another embrace, reveling in the feeling of touch. Her smooth skin was against his and her silky pink hair was against his neck.
He would touch her now, and let her touch him – always. Until the new memories of her touch pressed out the old ones.
Sasuke took in a deep breath.
Things were going to be very different from now on.
A/U: I hope you all enjoyed. SasuSaku is not usually my thing, but this story just HAD to be written. All reviews will be adored. ;)