DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of its characters in any way, shape, or form. Matt and Trey definitely do, those lucky ass bastards.

A CREEK one-shot, rated M for sexual themes.

Enjoy and review, yeah?



I thought I heard someone calling my name, but I didn't take the time to actually register who the voice belonged to. Why did it matter anyway? They'd probably just bore me with some random shit that I wouldn't even care to hear about.


I shifted in my seat, rubbing my forehead against the stone-cold surface of the wooden desk. Whoever the hell was calling my name better have something good to tell me; if not, they should prepare themselves in advance to receive a good old-fashioned finger-flicking.

"Craig! Gah--!"

With an aggravated sigh, I withdrew my forehead from the desk and straightened myself so that I could get a good look at the person who was trying to talk to me. I glared up at the disheveled appearance of Tweek Tweak, his pale-yellow hair flying about his head like a lion's untamed mane. I furrowed a brow at his usual carelessness in dress preparation, for his buttons were still unaligned and his collar was all whack and sticking up around his neck like Count Dracula. His eyes were wide, trembling, and chock full of paranoia that could keep a homeless man from going completely insane, however that worked.

"Ack! Craig, I-I think the gnomes stole them again!" he squeaked out, one of his eyes twitching like mad. His body did a little jump, his head flinching to the side like some loon hyped on crack.

"Stole what again, Tweek?" I asked him monotonously; I so had way better things to do than listen to Tweek and his impractical gnome problems. He probably thought they stole his underwear again.

"My underwear! Jesus! Craig, they stole it again—Ack!" he explained quickly, fisting a hand through his untidy hair. "This is like the third time! What are they planning? Jesus, Craig, I don't know what to do anymore-- !"


"GAH!" Tweek yelped, his knees slamming into the metal support legs of my desk. He flattened the palms of his hands onto the surface of my desk, leaning over it for support, while his fingers practically began to gorge into the wooden surface.

"Hi Thomas," I greeted dryly, raising a hand to wave at the tense looking Tourettes kid who was currently standing right in back of Tweek.

"Hey Craig –COCK-SHIT—how ya' doing?" Thomas asked with as much composure as possible. His hands were fiddling with the ripped out edges of random papers that were sticking out of one of his textbooks, his eyes scanning the expanse of the classroom from one area to another. "Hey Tweek."

"Mmm," Tweek whimpered to himself, still leaning over my desk like a paralyzed giraffe. "Craig, AH, my knees hurt. I think this is their doing, the gnomes, Jesus!"

Rolling my eyes, I quickly placed my hand over Tweek's jittering one, my thumb rubbing circular motions against the front side of his hand. Tweek looked at me with wide eyes, still trembling from an extra dose of caffeine, an ADD spasm, or his paranoia gone on hyper-mode. He bit his lip, as if deciding to say something, before I felt his body jerk one more time and then go completely slack. His eyes were still wide and alert, and his body kept on doing these weird compulsive trembles, but other than that, he was less unmanageable and more cultivated.

"But what about the gno--!" he whispered to me, biting his lip yet again.

"Forget about the fucking gnomes, I'll kill them first before they get to you," I quickly hissed at him, removing my hand from his. He stared at me for one last time, one of his eyes twitching uncontrollably, before he took a seat next to me.

"STUPID SHIT!" Thomas ended, waving a quick goodbye to both me and Tweek, a look of mortification imprinted on his face. I rolled my eyes and turned straight forward in my seat, pressing the front of my forehead on the desk once again. Might as well get comfortable before getting bored, right? I pivoted my head and looked at Tweek, who was currently ruffling his fingers through the long strands of unruly wheat-colored hair that adorned his head. He was rocking back and forth, occasionally twitching his eyes and jerking his body as if he were dancing. I was used to his mannerisms, I grew to tolerate them since freaking elementary, and I always wondered how long I would be able to withstand them until I could no longer do so. But I couldn't possibly get fed up with him; to be annoyed at Tweek was like falling in love with Cartman—it was impossible.

The morning bell rang with impeccable timing, students filing in from the hallways to take their seats inside the classroom. Mr. Garrison up front was currently finishing up writing the objective and homework summaries on the board, too engrossed in what he was doing to notice the mass of late students coming in from the hallways. After he completed his task, he capped the dry-erase marker and turned to the class, his hands behind his back as he cleared his throat for another long awaited lecture. God, this class was going to be B-O-R-I-N-G.



"No, Tweek, Jesus wasn't a Southern slave owner," Mr. Garrison corrected dully, his eyes slanted behind his glasses. "Does anyone want to help Tweek out? How about you, Clyde."

I turned to Tweek, shooting him a mild glare and mouthing out a "What the hell's wrong now"? He piqued his head and flashed me a sketchy smile, his eyes wide and twitching a mile per minute. His fingers were gripping the edges of his seat, his fingernails digging into the underside where all the chewed-up gum resided. He'd have to clean out his fingernails later.

"Coffee! Craig, Jesus, I left it!" he whispered quickly, his body jerking forwards. His stomach collided with the rim of his desk, knocking the wind out of him. He keeled over it, smacking his head into the desk's wooden surface.

"Holy Jesus, Tweek, what the hell's wrong with you?" Mr. Garrison asked aloud, dropping his dry-erase marker. I quickly turned to him and flashed him an endearing smile—how I would kill to flip him off.

"I think he left his coffee somewhere, can I go with him to go find it?" I asked him, trying not to sound too suspicious.

Mr. Garrison pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling a puff of air. "Okay, fine, but you have 20 minutes before I send someone after you guys."

"'Kay," I replied, getting up from my desk in one swift motion. I went over to Tweek's desk and practically dragged him to the door. Once we were outside in the hallways, I took his hand and began walking, rubbing that familiar circular pattern over his skin to calm him down before he became too "ADD'd" for me to handle.

"Where'd you have it last?" I asked him hurriedly, yanking on his hand.

"Gah! I'm so sorry, Craig, so sorry! Ack! Ahh…the bathroom I think!" He stammered, his words not all too clear. I sighed to myself, rolling my eyes as well—figures it would be in the bathroom.

"You should pay more attention to where you leave your things, Tweek," I began to reprimand him, tangling my fingers with his. I turned to him while walking, my brow furrowed and my expression set in a serious fashion. "You know what happens when you don't have caffeine in you, you start hurting yourself."

Tweek turned away from me, a blush spreading across his cheeks like wild fire. His body jerked one more time before he whispered, "Sorry, Craig, I was so worried about the gnomes that I must have forgot and then I couldn't--!"

"Just shut up about the gnomes," I said to him, squeezing his hand tightly. He gulped and nodded shakily, his eyes twitching in response. As we neared the bathroom and pushed inside, the stench of warm piss and left over crap-fragrance permeated the air like the inside of an old lady's house. I grimaced and wrinkled my nose in disgust, sticking out my tongue to further prove my point.

"You so owe me," I muttered under my breath. Tweek was too busy searching for his coffee mug to hear me. After about two minutes worth of searching, I ended up finding the damn thing sitting right next to the toilet in the second to last stall. I pushed the contaminated thing straight into Tweek's chest, his shaky hands immediately coming out to catch the mug before it fell.

"ACK! C-craig, it's empty!" he suddenly hollered, nearly dropping the coffee mug in the process. I stared at him ruefully, my lips drawn into a taught line. If I could, I would so totally flip him off right now, but if I did that, no doubt Tweek would take it the wrong way and get even more paranoid than he already was.

"God dammit, Tweek," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I know you have ADD, but come on, where does all that excess energy come from, seriously. Look, this is the last time I'm going to do this."

"Jesus, Craig, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry!" Tweek hammered out, gripping the coffee mug as if it were his precious soul. "Someone must have drunk it! Ah! You don't have to do it, Craig, you really don't! Jesu—I can make it!"

I stared at him coolly, tilting my head like a reprimanding parent. "The last time you insisted that you were fine you nearly killed yourself by bumping into so many damn things. Seriously, I don't give a damn if I have to do it again, as long as it gets you to shut up and stay put for the rest of the day."

I reached out and removed the mug from his trembling hands, placing it beneath a nearby sink. Then, with a weary sigh and a deflating ego, I opened my arms. Tweek stared at me as if I had grown another head. I averted my eyes, cheeks tinting a very faint pink color.

"Come here," I commanded softly, tilting my head. Tweek remained where he was, one of his hands entangling itself into the messy confines of his unmanageable hair.

"God Dam—come the fuck here," I repeated more vehemently, knitting my brow together. Tweek, with a jitter to his body and a flinch of his neck, quickly sprang to life and trotted towards me, all the while biting his lip out of apprehension.

He fit perfectly into the crevices of my body, just like last time. I wrapped my arms around him, clasping them firmly against his back where I started rubbing in an up and down motion. He trembled for the better half of a minute, his arms wedged awkwardly between his chest and mine. I began to slowly rock him back and forth, my fingers still ghosting over his spine like a trail of therapeutic feathers. His body was still rigid and stiff against my own, but at least he had lowered his head so that it now rested against my chest comfortably. The last time we did this, it had been our first time and we were fairly clumsy, but it was a beneficial experience altogether. I learned that I could relieve some of Tweek's pent up tension through sexual interactions, and hell—it worked.

I unwound my arms from around his body and tilted his chin up with two fingers, placing my lips gently at the corner of his mouth. He parted his lips, about to scream or holler or whatever the hell he usually did, before I quieted him by placing my mouth over his.

"Nnn…,"he mumbled, fingers clutching at my jacket. "Ga-- !" I quickly silenced him by tapping the tip of my tongue against his, our tongues dancing freely together, interlocking together, until they became inseparable. I could feel his body jerking and shifting from side to side against me, his fingers clenching and unclenching the fabric of my clothes. The kiss became more passionate and wet, our lips separating only momentarily before they came back together again to continue their practice. I planted soft, fleeting kisses around his mouth, on his lips, under his chin, before returning to another tongue-locked battle between our mouths. Finally, as if millennia had passed, I withdrew from him, leaving him flushed, shaky, and open-mouthed.

"Jesus! Craig!" he yelped, licking his lips.

"Stall; the last stall, come on," I rushed, nearly dragging him over towards the last bathroom stall across the expanse of the bathroom. I kicked the door open and threw him inside, closing and locking the door behind me. "If we get caught, I'm blaming this on you Tweek."

Tweek stared at me with wide, unwavering eyes, his body twitching from time to time. I looked down at his hands, which were shaking very badly, and at his feet, which were tapping uncontrollably about the bathroom floor. With a sense of urgency unfolding deep within me, I leaned down and continued to kiss him lustfully, ghosting my lips near his ear and down his neck.

"You're going to have to stand up when I do this," I whispered to him, my hands starting to unbuckle the belt that held his pants in place.

"W-what! I can't! It's too uncomfortable, I can get a cramp! Gah!" he protested. He was shivering now, the need in him becoming more and more evident as the seconds ticked by.

"Just do it, or else you're going to be a ticking time bomb; it'll get me pissed off."

He shut up at this, staring up at me through slanted eyes. I smirked at him in return and unzipped his zipper, sliding my fingers through the belt-buckle loops and dragging his pants down. He choked when I did that, his cheeks literally on fire and his lips still parted and welcoming. I leaned down and planted a brief kiss, tugging down his boxer shorts in one fell swoop.

"Nnn…ahhh," he moaned into my mouth, his body jerking once or twice from either ADD symptoms or burning passion, but seriously, I preferred the latter. I looked down and smiled at what awaited me, giddily happy at arousing that kind of reaction out of him. I mean, I did it before, but that was only once, and to see it again was strangely pleasing in an erotic sort of way. His cock was pointed straight up, fully erect and rigid.

"Sit on the toilet," I breathed out.

"Jesus, Craig, but the toilet seat-- !"

"Then put it down."

He slammed the toilet seat down and I pushed him down on it, tugging his pants and boxers further down his thighs. His legs were spread wide, his length prodding out and dripping with white beads of pre-cum as his chest heaved, clearly out of breath.

"Ahhh…ungh," he mewled, a twitch rocking through him as I bent down and began planting soft, wet kisses up the length of his shaft, tongue lapping at the head before I trailed back down to the base with a series of kisses so soft that butterflies would get jealous. He opened his thighs wider, his hands trembling as they gripped tight at my hair. "Gah, Craig!"

I retreated from his cock, planting a soft kiss on his lips before I straightened myself and began fumbling with my own belt. Once unzippering the zipper, I tugged my pants and boxers down so that they pooled in around my thighs.

"Ack! Jesus Craig!" Tweek yelped in alarm, his eyes growing wide. My own erect member was literally throbbing in heat, standing tall and proud in front of the frizzled teen who was currently about to have a heart attack.

"We gotta' make this quick, time's running out," I said quickly. "Get up."

Tweek did as he was told, cock flailing along with him as he stood before me, waiting apprehensively for further instructions. I placed my right foot against the rim of the toilet seat, so as to support both our weights once Tweek was properly positioned. I wrapped an arm around his waist and drew him towards me, our cocks brushing against each other as our bodies met, resulting in a series of muted moans from Tweek. His body was shaking, his back arching as my throbbing member rubbed against his inner thigh, eager to inch in once Tweek was comfortable enough to allow me. We don't want to scar him for life now, do we, both mentally and physically?

"Ready?" I asked him throatily, staring at him from under my black bangs. His eyes looked everywhere except mine, biting his lip out of anxiety. I grabbed his hand, my thumb rubbing familiar circular patterns against his palm. "After this, you'll be fine. Don't worry, we did it before."

"Ack! Okay!" he cried out, blinking his eyes once or twice.

Positioning myself at his entrance, I slowly eased my cock in, the welcoming tightness engaging in a couple of heated groans from myself and a few whimpers from Tweek. Being inside him was warm, hot, and tight, and the pressure clamping down on my pulsating member on all sides was enough to make me explode inside of him—but I didn't.

"Agh, agh, ahhh…," he mewled, his body squirming. The muscles inside of him only clamped down harder against my penis, sending an electrical surge straight up my cock and spasming out over the rest of my body. Once completely inside, I began to rock in and out, beginning in a smooth and steady rhythm that eventually increased in speed when Tweek lost the distress and replaced it with white, hot pleasure.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah," he moaned each time I thrust into him, my cock burying to the hilt inside of him. When I reached his prostate, his eyes widened and his lips parted in ecstasy, his head lolling back and his body jerking a couple of times. "Ahhh….nnnn….ahh, ah, ah, ahh."

The pressure inside him was building and building and my pleasure only seemed to increase ten-fold. Each thrust felt like an electrical fire, and each moan received from the spasming boy beneath me only seemed to fuel my raging hard-on. My lower abdomen felt hot, as if it were about to explode at any second, and not long after that, it did.

"Aghh!" I moaned, cum pumping out of my cock and into Tweek's ass. He continued to rock against me, milking me of my seed until he too shot forth a stream of white liquid, coating his pants with the sticky substance.

"Ahhh, Craig!" he finished, his face flushed, his lips parted and his thighs shaking from the raging orgasm. I felt the muscles from inside him clamp down one more time around my cock, before I steadily slid out of him and stood up straight. I watched as the cum dripped from out his ass onto the bathroom floor, mixing in with the other bodily fluids placed there by other students. I guess we didn't really have to clean up then-- well, the floor that is. I grabbed a few napkins from the nearby napkin dispenser and began to clean myself, handing Tweek the remaining sheets once I was finished. He twitched a couple of times, one of his eyes blinking like mad. At least he wasn't bumping into things now or shouting out at any given moment.

Once Tweek was done cleaning himself, I helped him zipper up his pants and buckle his belt, fumbling with my own before I lent out a hand and helped him up from the toilet seat. I smiled at him, taking his hand in mine and rubbing my thumb against his palm. I pulled him to me, my other free hand rubbing at the small of his back as I rocked him back and forth.

"Better now?" I asked him quietly, still rocking him gently. "Do you think you can go through the day without coffee this time?"

He grew slack in my arms, his head thumping against my chest as he replied with a slow nod.

"Good," I said to him, ruffling my hand through his hair.


"Mother of fuck!" I cried out, nearly slamming Tweek into the wall. I quickly turned around and unlocked the door, barreling out of the stall like a man who had just been caught cheating on his wife with another girl. I seriously wanted to up and flick the finger at Thomas, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I heatedly glared at him for ruining my moment.

"COCKING-SHIT! Mr. Garrison sent me to come get you," Thomas apologized, his hands behind his back. I rolled my eyes and sighed at him, turning around and beckoning Tweek out of the stall. He hastily obeyed, albeit a bit shakily, and trotted over towards me, placing his hand in mine. I stared at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"Did you find his coffee?" Thomas asked, folding his hands in front of him. He winced as another tic rolled through him. "FUCKING SHIT!"

"Yeah, actually, he just finished drinking it," I replied confidently, squeezing Tweek's hand as well. I shot a glance at him—his eyes were twitching.

"Why were you in the stall then, DICK-FART?" Thomas exclaimed, biting his lip and wincing his eyes out of embarrassment. I let a tiny laugh rumble out of me, shaking my head along with it.

"We found it in there-- Tweek, go get the mug, it's by the sink," I commanded, tilting my head to the side. Tweek quickly ran over to the sink and clasped the coffee mug to his chest, before running back to me and taking his place by my side. Thomas turned around and left the bathroom, the door following after him. I then turned to Tweek and placed my index finger over my lips, silencing him.

"I think you should forget to drink your coffee next time," I whispered to him, turning away from him. "It really works you know, for the fucking both of us."


I chuckled at Thomas's muffled tic-spasms that were sounding in from outside.

"Amen to that."