Chapter 8: Our Reasons For School

A/N: Actually, I'm going to end the story here for now, unless I get new ideas or something. Once I get the manga, though, I'll probably be influenced to make another chapter, but we'll see. Next is something different:

WELCOME TO CRAPTURE! a BioShock crack fic. Please check it out and review when the first chapter is up!


Kamiyama was minding his own business when Hayashida walked up to his desk.

"...Kamiyama."

"Yes, Hayashida?"

Taking a seat on top of the desk behind him, Hayashida closed his eyes and an intense feeling filled the air. It was such an uncomfortably powerful aura that it caused Gorilla to jump out the window and run into town to buy a bag of ice and a snow cone to cool himself down.

Uneffected by said aura, Kamiyama remakred, "...What is it, Hayashida?"

Opening his eyes, Hayashida had a serious look on his face. He took in a deep breath, stared Kamiyama face-to-face, and asked, "Why do we come to school, Kamiyama?"

A real-life photo of a hobo is shown.

"...What?"

"Look," Hayashida explained, "What I'm trying to say is...well, we come to school every day, right? Yeah, we do. Yet...why do we do it? There's no teachers, no class schedule, no nothing. We don't learn anything, and we definitely don't do anything. So why do we even bother coming to school? Why don't we just stay at home or go out into town for the day, instead? Tell me the answer, Kamiyama! I need the answer!"

Kamiyama thought about it. 'You know...he's right, actually. Why DO we come to this rundown old school? We haven't had to crack open our textbooks even once! Then again...I'm not even sure if this school even has text books! Now that I think about it...is this really even a school? I mean...why isn't there a faculty? A principal? A janitor? Where all the things that make a school...well, a school? It just doesn't make any sense!'

"Well, Kamiyama?" Hayashida asked in hopes his friend knew the answer.

"I...don't know." Kamiyama sighed, covering his face.

An awkward silence formed between the two of them.

"...Now what?" Hayashida asked.

Standing up, Kamiyama exclaimed, "WHY, WE FIND OUT THE ANSWER OURSELVES, OF COURSE! C'MON, HAYASHIDA, LET'S GO!"

Then, he turned to Maeda. "You too, Maeda."

"WHAAAT?! WHY ME?!" Maeda snapped.

"Just come on..." Kamiyama said before heading out into the hallway with Hayashida.

Sighing, Maeda got up and followed after them...


"...Huh? Our reasons for school?" Hokuto asked, repeating Kamiyama's question. He and his lackey were busy giving Gorilla his bi-monthly back-washing, but Hokuto had decided to just leave the whole job to his pitiful lackey so he could speak with Kamiyama and the others.

"Yeah? Do you know why we bother coming to a school where we don't even learn?" Hayashida exclaimed.

Hokuto thought for a moment. "Uh...I don't have a clue."

"AUGH!"

"Hey, you! Get over here!" Hokuto barked to his lackey, who quickly ran over to them.

"Yes? What is it, Master Hokuto?" Hokuto's lackey asked.

"Tell me...do you know why we bother coming to school, even though we don't learn anything?" Hokuto asked him.

Hokuto's lackey scratched his chin and replied, "Well, maybe it's to make new friends...who have names? For instance, my name is-"

"ALRIGHT! LET'S GO, MEN!" Kamiyama exclaimed, and he and Hayashida and Maeda walked off. Oddly enough, Hokuto followed them as well.

Sighing, Hokuto's lackey thought, 'God, why can't I just tell them my name...?'

"It'll be okay." said one of the aliens standing next to him.


"...Huh? Our reasons for school?" Mechazawa asked in an incredulous tone.

"Yes! Tell us why we bother coming to school when we don't even learn anything!" Kamiyama exclaimed, the background showing an arctic tundra for some reason.

Mechazawa pulled Mini-Mechazawa out from his pocket and placed him on top of his desk.

"What do YOU think, little brother?" Mechazawa asked him.

"Meka-Ratta."

"...THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE." Hayashida snapped at the two of them.

"Particle Man, Particle Man, Doing The Things A Particle Can-"

"CUT IT OUT!"

Clutching his head as if in pain, Hayashida shouted, "DAMMIT! I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY DO WE BOTHER COMING TO THIS SCHOOL WHEN WE DON'T EVEN LEARN ANYTHING?!"

Suddenly, Kamiyama came to a sudden realization. "I get it now. I KNOW THE TRUTH!"

Hayashida gasped and cried, "Kamiyama...is this true? Tell me! What is the answer?"

Kamiyama sighed and closed his eyes. "Well...uh...actually...the only reason we even bother going to school is because...err...this series couldn't be called 'Cromartie High' if we just stayed at home...maybe?"

Everyone was silent for a few minutes.

"Kamiyama...that answer sucks."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT; IT'S THE TRUTH!"

Then, the final bell rang.