Valen Proudly Presents:

Cracked

Chapter One:
Who's the Father?

Special Contest Alert: I am thinking of rewarding a oneshot to the first person to PM me or guess in their review who the father is. (You don't HAVE to guess, it's just a fun little gimmick I came up with.) The first person to successfully guess (it will be revealed in the second chapter), I will write them a oneshot about anything they'd like, with any pairing of their choice, should they like a pairing. That's the prize, because that's all I can really give on fanfiction. I'm hoping it'll get my writers' juices flowing so I can finish all of my stories before I officially retire from fanfiction. Anyone is free to participate in the contest.

Pay close attention to the behavior of ALL of the turtles. ; )

Summary: Mona Lisa is not just the most sought out painting in the world. She also becomes the most sought out reptile. Rumor has it she carries the baby of one of the ninja turtles.

Disclaimer: I'm not making any profit whatsoever on this. I do not own any of the turtles, nor do I own Mona Lisa or Venus de Milo or Splinter.

"Tell me more about this mutant female, Karai." the Shredder paced his lair and very precise footsteps could be heard. Click. Click. Click. His footsteps matched the pattern of a ticking clock, or perhaps a beating heart. Karai noted that he looked more like a robot than a human being. A wind up toy carefully waiting for the battery to run out. Though his head was down, she could tell he was listening intently. Any chance to cause the downfall of the ninja turtles, even an unlikely one, interested him. This new bit of information Karai provided was a stroke of luck. . . a reward. Even if he hadn't even carried out a plausible plan.

Karai nodded, only too happy to give the information. With the ninja turtles out of the way, it would be possible for the Foot Clan to actually accomplish something. "She is the lover of one of the ninja turtles and is carrying a child—"

"Which one?" the Shredder inquired. Each turtle had its own remarkable genes to pass on. The purple-clad turtle was a genius, Leonardo was a natural born leader, the one in the red mask was the largest and strongest of the bunch, and the orange masked turtle was the most agile and athletic of the four. He would have personally preferred Leonardo's genes, but he certainly couldn't be picky.

"That is information I have not been able to acquire. I'm sorry. However, I believe, regardless of who the father is, the child can be their downfall." Karai smirked, looking up at the Shredder. From under his mask, he looked extremely pleased.

"Good work, Karai. Come with me." With that, Shredder walked out, his head high and his eyes gleaming. Malicious thoughts roamed his mind, making him smirk. There was no doubt in his mind that Karai and the clan could at least catch a pregnant mutant. On another floor, he showed Karai a lab seldom used by the Foot scientists. Ever since the downfall of Baxter Stockman, they had been slacking off and experiments were no longer frequent. It was so hard to find good help. In the back of the room was a large tank he had been hoping to save for the turtles, one day. Before killing them, he thought it smart to retrieve their DNA and create other little ninja turtles for his army. Small holes were cut in the top, but it was padlocked and the glass was extremely thick. Escape or privacy would be impossible for any creature.

The Shredder walked over to a table, showing Karai a couple dusty keys. "The keys to the tank. There are only two, and I trust you to handle them with care. The mutant female will stay here until she gives birth."

His smirk grew even wider. "Bring her to me. I want to see her in that tank by tomorrow night."

"Yes." Karai bowed her head and went to recruit the best of the Foot Clan.


Down in the subway tunnels, six creatures scurried about in the dark, hoping to go unnoticed. Surely the subway would be moving much too fast for anyone to notice five mutant ninja turtles and one mutant salamander. One pregnant mutant salamander. April, being the only human female they'd known, felt Mona Lisa's stomach, confirming the presence of a developing egg. Now, they were sneaking around underground tunnels, trying to find a decent route they could take the pregnant reptile without exposing her to fumes in the sewer. Carefully, Raphael and Leonardo punched holes in the wall, as Donatello confirmed it was hollow and would lead to the lair. They would, however, need a source of light, provided by only two flashlights.

When Leo and Raph finished their task, Donatello gestured for Mona Lisa to enter the hole. "Ladies first." he smiled at her. Her face fell suddenly. "What? Did I say something?" Mona shook her head and ran toward the subway track.

"Oh God. . . I have to–" she ran toward the train tracks, fell to her knees and vomited on the tracks. Every turtle rushed to her aid. "I. . . I need to lie down." she turned and pushed her hair away from her eyes. Luckily, none of the vomit had hit the ends.

"Please, get up, Mona." Venus, the other female mutant begged. Though, Venus was another turtle, not a lizard. "You cannot stay here." she patted Mona Lisa's hand attempting to coax the salamander up. "It's not safe. Especially not in your condition. This is one of worst places you could be right now."

Raphael brushed her hair out of her face. "She's right, Mona. Please go back with Donatello and Venus. You can lay down on the couch."

"I'll wait on you hand and foot." Donatello promised. Despite this, it was clear that Mona Lisa was amazingly reluctant to pull herself up off of the nice, cold floor.

Donatello looked to Raph, then to Leo and Mikey, bewildered. Finally, he picked her up and somehow managed to squeeze himself through the hole in the wall. They could hear a slight pat sound as her feet his the ground. "I have to use the flashlights." they all heard Donatello say. "It's fine if you want to ride on my back." This time, they heard hair rustling. All of them assumed Mona was either nodding or shaking her head. She mumbled something, but none of them heard what it was. "It's fine, really." Donatello said. Then, they heard her climbing onto his shell. Again, she mumbled, but the rest of the turtles could make out the meek "thank you" Mona made out in her weakened state.

Leo looked concerned. "Is she going to be alright?"

"Donatello and I will make certain Mona Lisa is as comfortable and safe as possible." Venus nodded at Leo and put her hand on his shoulder. "She's going to be just fine." With that, she also crawled through the hole in the wall and followed Donatello to the lair.

"Mona's a strong woman. She'll definitely be fine." Raphael crossed his arms and nodded his head in confidence.

"Yeah, I've seen her take down, like, ten bad guys once. So she's been through way worse." Michelangelo noted. "Come on, we have business to take care of up top, so that Mona can stay safe." Michelangelo pointed toward the ceiling of the subway tunnel for emphasis. All three of them made their way up top to confront a few thugs and "persuade" some witnesses not to tell anyone what they had seen. Splinter would have been very disappointed, but they had come to the agreement not to tell him. Even Leonardo, who normally found it wrong to keep secrets from their master at all costs, had made an exception for Mona Lisa.

Back at the lair, Donatello had given a bottle of water, a bucket, a blanket, a pillow, a warm wet rag, and many other items he located by running around their home. Now that it occurred to Mona, she'd only asked for water and a pillow. Donatello, who had never had to deal with a pregnant woman, much less a pregnant mutant, thought it better to be safe then sorry. Not that Mona Lisa was really complaining. . .

Now, she was ignoring a movie playing in the background (which also happened to be put in by Donatello), and chatting with Venus about the egg.

"I'm so jealous." Venus told her, eyes sparkling as she imagined herself carrying an egg. "I mean, I would hate for it to slow me down, but I thought I would be the first. I didn't even think you two were that close. Did you think up any names yet? "

Mona didn't really want to admit that, even though she'd only just confirmed her pregnancy, that she had thought up a couple names. "Well. . . I was thinking if it was a boy, I'd keep the whole artist thing going and name him Vincent. I mean, I think it would be really fitting, cause it would keep the pattern going. If it was a girl? I don't know, I'd probably go for something cool like Artemis. Naming her after a Greek goddess would be fun. Athena's a pretty nice name, too." Mona thought for a minute. Artemis did have quite a nice ring to it. She crossed her fingers and hoped for a girl.

"Oh, yes, I really like those names. Artemis is nice." Venus nodded her head in approval. She looked around for Donatello. She didn't see him, but leaned over and whispered, despite. Male ears would not understand. "Do you think he'll go for those names?"

Mona Lisa waved her hand. "I'm the one carrying the egg. The least he can let me do is name the child." This made both of them giggle.

"You're right." Venus agreed. "They might be able to jump across skyscrapers and wipe out an army of ninjas without breaking a sweat, but I'd like to see them in your shoes. All of them would probably crack after their fourth or fifth time vomiting."

Their giggly, but peaceful chat was interrupted by a crash and Donatello immediately can rushing into the living room for the girls. "Something's happening! You need to go into the lab, now!" Mona had never heard Donatello use such a forceful voice, but she demanded to know what was happening. "The Foot!" Donatello screamed, practically dragging the girls to the lab. He almost shoved them in, but whispered to Mona before he shut the door. "The code to open the door is three, five, zero, nine. Don't forget." When he shut the door, he punched the code box on the outside so not one Foot ninja could enter from there. . . .

"Master Splinter, what's going on?" Venus noticed the old rat meditating quietly in the corner, despite the ruckus.

"It appears the Foot Clan has found out miss Mona Lisa is carrying a baby." He opened an eye and looked up at Mona. "They want your egg."

Mona's eyes widened, not because of what Splinter had said about the Foot Clan, but about her. . . He had known all along she was carrying the egg of one of his sons, even though he did not approve of relationships. "So then. . . you know who the father is?"

"Of course. You and your "lover" aren't exactly very subtle." his tone was teasing and serious at the same time. "I know exactly who the father is."

"So you've already figured out that it's. . ."