A/N: Sadly, I cannot update Three Day's Grace right now. Sorry. In the mean time, there's this. And, check out my new, very explicit Alex/Wolf one-shot 'Waiting In The Dark'.
Alex stifled a laugh as he set the food down on the counter of Jack and Ben's house, listening to Jack yelling at Ben.
"…because you don't have to be fucking pregnant, so don't you dare tell me to fucking calm down! I've got two little girls beating me up from the inside out and lemme tell you, you think I'm a bitch? Try them – they're not even born yet and they're kicking and punching and making me fucking miserable! You try to CALM DOWN WITH TWO UNBORN BRATS INSIDE OF YOU!"
"Jack, I just meant that you're overreacting-"
"I was just getting some of your bizarre food cravings from Alex's place!"
"But you still ran off in the middle of the goddamn night-"
"I left a message, Jack, just like I always do-"
"It's not about the damn message!"
"Then what?!" Ben cried. "What the hell is this about?!"
"Running away now of all times!"
"I wasn't running away!
Alex turned away, back to opening the Tupperware of chocolate cake, doing his best to tune out Ben and Jack's argument. Failing miserably. He fought hard to stifle his laughter, though. Poor Ben.
Poor, poor Ben.
"Jack! I swear to god I wasn't running away!"
"Oh, no, of course you weren't running away!" Jack yelled sarcastically. Bloody hell, she was funny when pregnant and insane. Though he felt 'insane' might've been a little redundant, but oh well. Though, carrying around 'two little bitches', as Jack so eloquently loved to put it, inside you for eight months must be enough to drive anyone insane, let alone Jack.
"Fuck, Jack, I was trying to be nice! You mentioned Dutch fudge brownies last night, I thought that I wasn't getting any sleep, I might as well help with that."
"Oh, sure, you were just trying to be nice! You want to be nice, try actually helping around the damn house when you're here!"
Alex rolled his eyes as Jack continued yelling, Ben utterly helpless. Smirking as he looked at the large, now finally open, Tupperware container with a giant pan of brownies.
He got out three plates, slicing a large part of the brownie and putting that one plate, smaller pieces on the other two.
That done, he listened.
Now Jack was blaming Ben for the apparently-pure evilness of the twin girls inside her. Smirking, he pulled out his cell phone, and dialed the only person who might be interested in this.
"Cub?" Wolf answered. "What the hell are you doing calling me at four in the fucking morning?"
"Just listen," Alex said, before directing the mouthpiece towards the living room, and turned up reception volume, while keeping the earpiece by his ear.
"Well, I'm sorry the twins are hurting you!" Ben said, still keeping his voice low. "If I could carry the twins, I could. God knows I would be able to-"
"What?!" Jack shouted. "Are you saying I'm bad at pregnancy?"
"There can't be such a thing! It's pregnancy!"
"Then what, exactly, would you be able to do?"
"Not overreact to every stupid thing!"
"YOU THINK I'M OVERREACTING?!"
"Well, you're yelling because I left in the middle of the night to get you some food you mentioned missing beforehand!"
"YOU RAN AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!"
"To get you those damn brownies you missed so much!"
On the earpiece, Wolf was laughing wholeheartedly.
"I give it another five minutes before she punches him in the face," Wolf said, still laughing as he continued listening to Jack and Ben's now rather-repetitive fighting.
"I feel so sorry for Ben," Alex said. "He's going to let loose on her the moment she gives birth, I swear. Too bad he's got too high a moral standard to hit Jack when she's pregnant."
"Oh, c'mon, Cub, you know you'd do the same thing."
"…true. Still, poor Ben."
"He's an idiot."
"Yes, he is," Alex said, laughing. "Though, I almost don't blame him. I mean, she's got twin girls. He's going to be the only man in the house. And I think they agreed on just two kids, so…"
Wolf laughed again. "Poor Ben. He's going to end up gay, at this rate."
"Actually, he was griping about that while I was cooking," Alex said. "Apparently, he had to shag some bloke while in Nigeria and he's still a little sore from it."
More laughter. "No wonder, then…though do you mean you were cooking at four in the morning?"
"Well, three, but yes. I figured with my rather extensive jetlag, I'd be up, and he wanted to surprise Jack."
"I can tell," Wolf said wryly.
Jack's voice started to rise (again), and Ben sounded more desperate, as she started to blame him for impregnating her with two girls rather than one, so Alex, after promising to tell Wolf if Ben lives, hung up and grabbed the plate with the larger brownie.
"Jack!" Alex half yelled as he walked into the living room. "Calm down, all right? Here, have a brownie…"
One great thing about her being pregnant, though – she completely missed the bluntness of his approach.
She rounded on him, but stopped at the sight of brownies, and internally, Alex grinned, as Ben mouthed 'thank you' behind him. And Alex reflected back on the astonishing powers of brownies and chocolate cake. Most women were easily placated by baked goods, and won over by chocolate. Combining the two together resulted in more peaceful women (at the moment, anyway).
And then were was Jack, who had a borderline-unhealthy obsession with chocolate baked goods. Alex honestly couldn't recall off the top of his head any time where offering cake or brownies didn't calm Jack down.
Sighing, if in slight resentment at no longer feeling the will to yell, she took the plate and said, "Thank you, Alex," she said.
Alex helped Jack sit down on their plush couch, before Ben, standing just outside, started mouthing something, being that they could read lips, and Jack was too engrossed in what she was eating to notice.
In Russian, Ben mouthed, "Say you need me to leave? Please?"
Alex hid his smile, and clearing his throat, said out loud, "Ben, mind if I talk to Jack…er…alone?" he asked, as if awkward.
"Sure thing," Ben said. "Take care of her."
"There's a brownie for you in the kitchen."
With that, he briskly walked out, clearly hiding the strong urge to run, as he grabbed the plates from the kitchen, bringing back one of the plates to Alex, before exiting hurriedly. Jack probably did notice, but decided to drop it (for once).
Alex wisely waited until Jack was halfway through her brownie, before saying, "Care to tell me what's really wrong?"
She frowned, looking at Alex. "Say what now?"
"C'mon, Jack – you don't blow up like that over nothing. What's wrong?"
"Nothing – I just got pissed-"
"Jack," Alex said, a slight warning in his tone of voice. "Don't try that with me. Is there anything else?"
"I just don't want him running out in the middle of the night!"
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Just…I…it's stupid…" She sighed, and said, "Can I at least finish my brownie, first?"
Alex nodded, and waited, nibbling on his own, until she finished, before she set her plate down, Alex also setting his down beside it.
"So, what's your problem with him running off in the middle of the night?"
"He's been leaving for ops at random a lot more lately, and I'm just wondering what's going on with that," she said.
"Jack, he's in deep with the Russian oil fiasco. And things have been jumpy, lately, since the refinery bombing."
"So why aren't you getting called out?"
"I am – you just notice less because we don't live together, anymore. 'Sides, Wolf and I more on the arms dealing side of the entire Russian problem."
"Why the hell is everything getting rooted back to Russia?"
"Half the Middle East oil refineries are blocked off for a bit, so Russia's becoming a main provider again. And they've tried to storm Gitmo – that Ameircan prison, yea? – not to mention that their nuclear plant fuck-up left us with an SAS personnel shortage."
Jack paused. "Was…his old unit hit?"
Alex laughed. "Ben, himself, and Wolf, are both black ops agents, and Eagle and Snake are now in charge of their own squadrons. They're all fine."
"It's just creating a lot of problems, with the impending nuke attack and all."
"…what impending attack?"
Shit. Alex realized just then that Ben probably had been dancing around this subject with her.
"Just…a few weeks ago. We got intel that Russia's nuclear weapons are far more developed than they let on. They're pissed at us, America, and Israel, and they're siding with China and India in the oil crisis, so…there're just rumors we're on the edge of World War Three. He's just trying to stop it. We all are."
She slowly nodded. "So…no wonder he's been edgy."
Alex nodded again. "The last mission was particularly hard on him. With you…"
She frowned, and said flatly, "He's being evasive about his missions, again."
"We always are…just…you know it's always rough on us when we kill someone who doesn't deserve it. Especially children. And for Fox…with you being pregnant with little girls…for him to have to kill one…"
Her eyes widened, before she suddenly shut them, leaning back, making her stomach momentarily bulge out even more. "God, no wonder…"
"He…he doesn't want you to hear about those parts of the mission. None of us do."
She nodded. "I suppose by now, I would've learned better than to ask…"
"After everything, it can be tough to just trust us when we tell 'you don't want to know'."
She nodded. "I just…I just worry, more and more, now, that one day, I'm going to wake up, he left for a mission, and there's going to be a message on my phone saying he's dead…"
"At the very least, I can assure you it's not going to be a message on the phone," Alex said. "I'd tell you in person. And…Ben's good at what he does. He knows how to take care of himself…and if it's any consolation, he's been requesting more and more low-risk missions, lately."
Her head snapped back up to look at him, her shoulders remaining pressed firmly against the couch. "What?!"
Alex just nodded, leaning over to break his brownie into two, putting one on her plate, the other staying on his, handing her the new piece, and she took it, though didn't eat it right away.
"He will probably go back to normal once the girls are born," he said. "But while you're with child, he's toning it down a bit."
She smiled, if a little unsteady. "That's…why didn't he tell me?"
"He didn't want to worry you," Alex said. "You already worry, we know, we know…but you worry even more when you hear the details of our assignments."
Jack smiled sadly again. "The people I'm stupid enough to know…just…"
"Your parents…what happened to them…it makes me worry…"
Alex sighed and nodded. "I don't blame you."
She nodded again, before now eating, and finishing, that brownie.
"Did Ben wake you up to make these?" she asked.
"Nah," Alex said. "Jetlag."
Almost immediately, Jack gave him a semi-suspicious look.
"Jetlag?" she asked, rather disbelievingly. "You never get jetlag. You just adapt instantaneously in that really creepy way you've always managed since you were nine."
"Okay, fine – last mission was rough, and I couldn't sleep, anyway. At least I was doing something more productive in cooking for you.."
The concerned look already on her face, he cut her off just as she opened her mouth. "I'll be fine – just give me a few days, and I'll be fine. Until then, I'll be happy to stay up at night, cooking for you."
"What were you doing, then?"
He shrugged. "Running on the treadmill and watching some stupid movie. Irrelevant. What I mean is…look, I know you're worried. And after the Moscow Embassy Slaughter, we don't blame you, Jack, we don't."
She smiled a little, and started eating her brownie. "Thank you, Alex…though, next time, care to be a little more tactful in feeding the lamb to the lion so it won't eat the zookeeper?"
Alex laughed at her slightly bizarre analogy. "Sure thing. Now eat up."
"Isn't it supposed to be me telling you to eat up?" she mused as she took another bite of the brownie.
He shrugged. "You're pregnant. I get to take care of you, for a bit."
She rolled her eyes and finished off her brownie. "Any more…?"
Alex laughed as he nodded, taking the plate and standing up. "You're insatiable, you know that?"
"Just get me a damn brownie," Jack said.
Alex shook his head bemusedly as he left. Smirking when he got to the kitchen, just in time to peek through the other door to see Ben quickly running up the stairs, hiding in case Jack came into the kitchen, Alex smirked as he called Wolf while slicing the brownies.
"So how'd it go?"
"Ben's alive. Terrified, and literally running away. But he's alive. For now, anyway."
"I can just imagine Jack in labor," Wolf said, laughing.
A few more shared jokes, and Alex promising to meet Wolf later, Alex hung up and took the brownies back to Jack.
Oh, yes – Ben didn't stand a chance.
A/N: I seem to keep following that bizarre pattern of starting out happy and ending up slightly-angsty. Weird.
Anyway, please review. If you have any more Jack/Ben things you'd want to see written, tell me, and I'll see what I can do. (Though, don't worry, I already have something vaguely planned for labor and birth).
Oh, and, on that note – any suggestions for the girls' names, when they're born? :D