This Hotel room is ugly. That was my first thought when I came here, and it's the thought I have now. The faded floral wallpaper is peeling, the brown carpet clashed terribly with the yellow comforters covering the freshly love-stained bed sheets. I wonder how many people have been in here before me and Dean. How many men and women have made love, fucked each other until they couldn't move. How many people had cheated, like Dean and I had just done… Dean didn't have anyone to cheat on, the lucky bastard. He probably feels as much guilt as I do, though. Seeing as the person I cheated on was his brother. Don't get me wrong, I love Sam. I love him so much, but… I don't know why I did it, really. It all happened so fast. Sam had gotten mad at Dean for selling his soul, took off leaving me and Dean alone. I was just going to comfort him, I swear. But then we kissed… Okay, so I kissed him. And then he took over, and pretty soon we were on the bed. Now, we weren't "making love" or "becoming one". No, that was for people who were in love, like me and Sam. This was just rough, hard, angry, passion-filled sex that Sam could never give. Dean wasn't afraid to hurt me, to be rough with me, because he didn't care. He needed a way to release the stress and anger that had built up over the past month between him and Sam, so I let him use me. That was all he was doing, using me. And I loved every minute of it.
Amy shifted her head from Dean's hard, sweat covered chest. He looked peaceful in his deep slumber. Maybe I did something right. She could hear something rumble on the nightstand next to her. She rolled over carefully, hoping she would not wake Dean. She grabbed her vibrating cell phone and flipped it open, seeing a text message.
"I'm sorry. Love you, Sam" She smiled sadly at the phone. He still had no idea, not that he could. He'd been gone the whole time. The phone vibrated again and she looked back to it, another message.
"Meet me. Room 23" It seemed strange that he wanted to meet somewhere, but she just shrugged. She would meet him, that's the least she could do, especially after what she had just done. Once again, she moved, careful not to wake the sleeping man beside her. She quickly threw on what was on the floor from the hour before. She grabbed her cell from the table next to the bed and made her way out the door. As she walked down the side of the hotel, she couldn't help but feel some anxiety. What would happen? What would she say? Would she even tell him? If she did, would he leave her? All of these questions ran through her mind as she finally made it to room 23. The walk had actually taken her less than a minute, but it had felt like a life-time.
As my hand touched the door knob, I felt as though a knife was being rammed into my stomach over and over again. That's how scared I was, of losing Sam, of being alone.
I slowly turned the knob, cautiously making my way into the room, it being as ugly as the last one. It was dark and it felt like I was walking into a trap.
"Sam?" I called, still feeling as if I was in danger but my feet would not stop moving. I continued further into the room, but spun around as I heard the door slam. Sam stood in the corner behind the door, his hand still on it from closing it. I released a breath I had been holding.
"God, Sam! You scared me!" I said, placing a hand over my heart. It was racing against my chest. He only smiled, getting up from the wall and making his way over to me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He said mischievously. He had a look in his eye that I didn't like at all. I coughed a little, trying to release my nervousness.
"So, why'd you want to meet here? Isn't this kind of a waste of money?" I said, taking a seat on the edge of the queen sized bed.
"I don't know..." He walked over to stand in between my legs, making me look up at him. His hands held my face. "…I guess, I wanted some time alone with you." His lips caught mine in a soft, but sad kiss. The guilt was coming back to replace the nervousness. He deepened the kiss, leaning me back onto the bed. At first I resisted, pushing slightly against his hard chest. But as I felt his hand travel under my shirt, I just fell into his embrace, letting him continue his path to my breast. As he kissed my neck, I could remember how Dean had done the same, except it was more biting then kissing. Once again the guilt returned. I pushed against his chest, but he just pressed his body further into mine, grinding into me. I released a loud moan, involuntarily arching into him. He ran his hands from my shoulders to my wrists. In a slow, sensual motion he brought my arms above my head and held them there, gently… at first. His hands slowly tightened. The kisses on my neck got rougher, to the point of pain. I pushed my body against him. Not in pleasure, but to get him off.
"Sam… Please, get off.." He continued what he was doing, as if I hadn't spoken at all. I tried pulling my hands away from his, but his hold only tightened, and I was almost sure he'd bruise my wrists. His body tightened as his lips crashed to mine in a terrifyingly hard kiss. His tongue ran across my bottom lip, but was soon replaced with his teeth as he bit until blood flowed. He sucked at the blood like a thirsty vampire. Soon, his lips broke from mine and our foreheads touched together. Both of us breathing heavily. As much as that had hurt, it had been one of the most passionate kisses I had ever shared with him.
"Why?" he whispered, closing his eyes. I felt confused. What was he talking about? Dean. I could feel my eyes widen as the thought had crossed my mind. Sam simply nodded, knowing that I had got it.
"Sam…I-I never meant-"
"To hurt me? Bit late for that, don't you think?" His voice went from sad to angry. "What I don't get is, why Dean? Out of all the sleaze bags out there, you pick my…brother." As he said the last word, he sound utterly betrayed, disgusted. It brought tears to my eyes. His eyes suddenly went from saddened, to bitterly playful as if trying to mask his hurt.
"So, was he good?" He whispered, his hot breath brushing against my ear. I shuddered, pushing against him once again, trying to release myself from his death grip. One hand continued to hold my arms above my head, while the other trailed down to my jeans and pulled the zipper down, struggling to undo the button. Tears spilled down my face. I loved him so much, but he was scaring me.
"Sam, please stop. I don't want this." His hands yanked the edges of my jeans down to my knees then stopped. He slowly made his way back up my body until we were face to face.
"Then maybe you shouldn't have fucked my brother." He hissed, sitting up and tearing the pants from my body. I know I should have moved, tried to get away from him but I was terrified. I'd never seen this side of Sam before. I didn't know he would be like this. Maybe angry, maybe upset. But never this.
His hands traveled up my trembling legs, but not softly. They seemed desperate. His lips trailed over my navel, and he slowly kissed my stomach. My hands wove through his hair, my back arching into his touch as his arms wrapped around my waste to bring me closer to his lips. I felt something hit my leg, and as I lifted my head I noticed it was his tears.
"I can taste him on you, Amy.." My eyes began to water again. I would never forgive myself for what had happened between me and Dean, and I don't think Sam would either. I felt him leave my body, and I almost reached up to pull him back. He pulled his white t-shirt up over his head and threw it to the ground. He quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans to the ground. The look he had was back in his eyes, and the sense of danger was back once more. I tried to move away from his touch, but he was too fast. He grabbed my wrists and pulled me against his body. His lips met mine again in one of the most violent kisses I've ever felt. This one wasn't filled with love of compassion like the ones before, but need and passion. His lips moved against mine in a frenzy, like he was searching for an answer, a reason why I'd done it. He broke off suddenly, his hands on both sides of my face,
"I loved you, so damn much, Amy.." He wasn't crying, he didn't even look sad anymore. I couldn't read his face, but my tears streaming down my face seemed enough for the both of us.
"Sam, please! I-I love y-you.."
"Just shut up, Amy. Please, just shut up…" Sam ripped my shirt over my head and pushed me roughly into the mattress. He reached between my legs, grabbing my panties and roughly ripping them from my body, causing me to jump. He grabbed my face with one hand, and went between us with the other, guiding himself to my entrance.
"You're mine, Amy. No one else's. You are MINE to fuck, MINE to love. And I'm not sharing." He thrust into me hard, not letting me adjust to his size. I gasped aloud, never feeling him as I was now.
"Mine, Amy. Do you understand?" he whispered, moving in and out of me slowly, almost teasingly. When I didn't answer, he pulled out slowly until only the tip of him was inside of me, and thrust back in as hard as possible.
"SAM! Oh, God.."
"Understand, Amy?" I only nodded my head, barely able to breath, let alone make statement. He continued his rough, torturous fucking. I could do nothing but lay underneath him, watching him. I had never experienced anything like this with him before. The pleasure that was building could amount to no other. His eyes stared right into mine as he pounded into me, and I would NOT break the stare. I grabbed onto both of his shoulders, holding on for dear life as I felt the familiar feeling in my stomach, and rolling my hips back against his. It wasn't long before he put his arm in between my arms and his shoulders, pushing them over my head like before. My eyes closed. I could feel it coming, as I knew he was getting close as well, but his movements stopped, and I cried out in frustration. "NO! Please, don't!"
"Open your eyes. I want to see you when I make you come." My eyes opened, but I almost closed them again when I saw his. His eyes were so intense, fueling my passion for him more. He began to move once again, beginning slow but soon building back to the hard, fast thrusting he had before. I finally felt the tension release inside of me as I let go, my hands flying to his back. I clung to him as I came, my nails digging into his skin so hard I could feel his blood running over my fingers. His hips moved at an even faster pace and thrust into me one last time, as deep as he could go. As I felt the searing heat of his come inside of me, causing me to come once again. His body collapsed against mine, both of us, literally, breathless. I stroked his head, whispering apologies into his ear, but all I could hear in my own were the breathless whispers of "mine".
Sam and I walked back to the hotel room the next morning, hand in hand. That morning was a very emotional one. The tears had finally coming from Sam, admitting how much I had hurt him but that he still loved me and that he did not want to lose me and Dean. All I could do was cry and kiss him with everything I had.
As we entered the hotel room we shared with Dean, we noticed he looked more pissed then he had the right to be.
"Where the hell were you two?" he asked, being calm and cool as usual, but I could tell he was upset.
Sam shrugged. "Working things out."