A/N: I'm just in a CM Punk kind of mood after finishing up that story.
"Screw being the designated driver," CM Punk grumbled as he sat down at the bar with Chris Jericho, Kofi Kingston, and Santino Marella.
"What can I get for you, gents?" the bartender asked the four men in front of him.
"I'll take a Jamaican rum," Kofi said.
"I'll take some red wine," Jericho ordered, ruffling his sparkly collar. "I'm in a royal mood tonight."
"Got it. And for you, sir?" the bartender asked, turning to Santino.
"Jacks and the coke rocks, man," Santino said, holding up a compact mirror and checking out his unibrow.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."
"I think he means Jack and coke," Punk clarified. "Don't feel bad about it. None of us really understand him most of the time."
"Thank you, sir. What can I get for you?"
"Pepsi, on the rocks, my good man."
"I'm sorry, sir, but we only carry Coke products here," the bartender informed the straight-edge Superstar.
"Coke products? Coke, as in, no Pepsi?"
"That is correct. Would you like a Coke instead?"
"Red instead of blue?"
"RAW instead of SmackDown?"
"Um…if that's what you want to call it…The closest thing we have to Pepsi is Coke, sir. I give you my deepest apologies."
"What is your name?" Punk asked.
"Greg? Greg, if you could get me a Pepsi, would you?"
"If we carried Pepsi at this establishment, I'd be more than happy to get you your preferred order of Pepsi on the rocks," Greg explained.
A saddened look appeared on Punk's face. A blank stare accompanied his eyes. He nodded solemnly, "Okay, great. Thanks, Greg. You've been a blast."
"What's wrong?" Jericho asked from two seats over, leaning around Santino so he could see Punk.
"N-nothing…" Punk slowly said. He turned and put his keys in Santino's hand. "I'm calling a cab. I'm too depressed to carry on."
"Are you serious?" Jericho question, the answer to which Punk merely nodded. "In that case…" Jericho quipped, stealing Santino's Jack and coke right as Greg set it down on the bar. He downed it in one gulp and said, "If you're bailing, Santino's the designated driver. And if he's driving, I don't want him more messed up than he already is."
"I resent-a that!" Santino squealed.
"Hey, just remember to drive on the American side of the road this time."