Author: BlackDaggerLover

Title: Need

Rating: R for language and sexual situation

Series: The Black Dagger Brotherhood by JR Ward

Word Count: 1778

Spoilers: For Lover Awakened

Author's Comments: Zsadist is my favorite brother, and I think his story is the most heart wrenching of them all. I've become obsessed with his and Bella's missing moments and have started some fics to fill in the blanks. This takes place within the book Lover Awakened while Bella is in her time of needing.

Edited from p. 285 of Lover Awakened

"You," she whispered. "Not the drug. I want you."

With a mighty swell her pleasure rose and then broke into two separate needs, one for his sex, one for his blood.

She bit him without hesitation, piercing right through the slave band, going deep into his skin.

Bella's senses were on overload. From the feel of having him slide in and out of her body, to the powerful taste of his blood in her mouth, to the way his chest brushed again her overly sensitive breasts, to the aroma of his bonding scent washing over them both. She felt so feminine and beautiful, so hot and wild, more so than she had ever felt in her life. He was inside of her, physically with his body and literally with his blood. And soon, very soon, for she could feel his release coming in time with her own, he would leave more of his powerful, soothing seed behind in her body, quenching the deepest, most powerful thirst she had ever known. He gave her every part of himself that he could in order to alleviate the fire of her needing.

And she loved him for it.

When she came, he went right with her. No waiting, no hesitation. She fell over that delightful precipice and brought him along with her. The storm rode on for a few moments, and she felt him filling her again. She pulled his body to hers, wanting the full weight of him pressed against her as they came down from their momentary high.

She brushed her lips against his throat, kissing the two puncture marks she had left behind. The taste of his blood roared in her body, and without conscious thought, she latched onto him once more drinking her fill until she needed to stop to take a breath. He was breathing hard against her skin, but he stayed in place and let her take what she needed from him. Just as he said he would.

Her hunger for his blood diminished as she felt his arousal lessen and slip out of her body. The emptiness she felt from the loss of contact was staggering. When he rolled off of her, the loss of his body heat left her chilled, and she immediately curled against him craving his warmth.

"Don't go," she murmured.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said, kissing her eyes as they drifted shut.

As calm as she felt in that moment, she still found it difficult to catch her breath. Taking in quick, heavy pants of air, she knew that the fire was going to return and build again very soon. She wanted it to stay away for a while and just let her enjoy lying next to him, but that wasn't going to happen. If everything she had heard about the needing was true, she wasn't going to get her wish for a long, long time yet.

She licked at her dry lips and tried to tell him what she felt in her heart. She felt guilty for making him stay with her even though she knew he didn't want to be there. He needed to hear it before she used him again. He deserved to know that she loved him. She'd told him once before and he hadn't believed her. Maybe he would believe her now.


"Shhhh… just rest a minute."

His mouth brushed against hers tenderly. And again, just a brush of his lips was all she felt. Then, with the tip of his tongue, he traced the line between her lips. Their breath mingled, and the need to consume him ripped through her body once more.

"Oh, God!" she groaned, turning away from him in the effort to give him some relief.


It twisted and pulled and burned through her core, begging for release. "I can't," she breathed. "I can't!"

Once more his body loomed over hers, forcing her legs open. But this time she resisted. As much as she needed him inside of her, she didn't want to use him like that. He'd been used so much in his life.

But the fire inside of her was building and it made demands that she couldn't ignore. It flared to life, rocking her with violent spasms of pain.

"Nalla…" His hand gripped her thighs.

"It hurts!"

Tenderly, his voice rumbled against her ear, "Then let me help you."

She looked up at him then, her body still thrashing in need, to see that his dark eyes were full of concern. His fingers gently touched her core making her legs fall open in an involuntary response.

In one firm, solid glide, he filled her completely. Her hips lifted to meet him, taking in him as deeply as possible. Over and over again. Waves of pleasure washed over her as he pumped into her. The friction their bodies created only added to the delight. And when his mouth found her aching breast, she tightened around him and shattered apart in ecstasy. Her orgasm was drawn out by the slide of his massive length in and out of her core. He pressed harder and deeper until she exploded again, this time taking his release along with hers.

His body collapsed on top of hers as his mouth kissed her throat. She loved the feel of his weight on her body as he sucked in the tender skin of her neck. His bonding scent roared over the two of them, warning her as to what would happen next for she knew he craved her blood. As much as she wanted him to pierce her vein, she knew she'd never last long if he fed from her. She was dizzy from the pain of her body and the release of sex. Blood loss was not going to help anything. He must have sensed the same thing, for even though she felt his fangs scrape against her pulse point, he did not feed from her. Instead, he tilted his head more to the side and, holding the back of her head in his hand, brought her mouth up to his vein.

"Feed," he said hoarsely.


"Feed, Nalla."

Her fangs sank into his skin swiftly. She drank fully, taking long deep pulls from his vein until she felt the dizziness subside enough that she could release him. Again he rolled off of her leaving her cold and empty from the loss of contact even though her skin was damp with heated perspiration.

She turned her head to the side to look over at him. He looked beautiful to her in the after math of sexual arousal. No matter how repulsed he was by his own sexuality, she would always find him beautiful this way. His mouth open just enough for the tips of his fangs to show, but dark his eyes were closed. His chest rose and fell in a heavy rhythm. At his neck were three sets of puncture wounds where she had feed from him already.

"I'm sorry," she said breathlessly, reaching toward his neck.

"No need to apologize."

"For your neck," she clarified touching the wound.

His eyes blinked open and met hers. "I'll heal. What matters is that you're okay."

"I should feed from the other side next time. Or your wrist."

"You take from where you need to take. Don't worry about me."

She nodded and swallowed hard, feeling suddenly shy under his bold stare. "I'm glad you're here," she said softly.

The corner of his mouth twitched in an almost smile. "Like I could stay away."

Now she really felt guilty. Her eyes darted downward, hiding her shame at bringing him here when it was so obviously against his will.

"I nearly killed Vishous when he said he'd help you."

Surprised, she looked back at him. "Vishous? He offered to…"

"I nearly ripped his head off," Z explained as a wave of his bonding scent filled the room. Then in a near whisper, he added, "I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching you right now."

The fire began to roar back to life inside her body. The need building and taking control of her urges. "I wouldn't let anyone but you touch me."

Feeling the pull of her body, Zsadist slid his body against hers and kissed her firmly on the mouth. His pelvis rocked forward and his arousal, already hot and hard, pressed against her core. The need to have him inside of her ripped through her body and settled between her legs.

Before she could squirm in pain, Zsadist penetrated her body and filled her to the hilt. She cried out in utter bliss as he drilled into her over and over again. Their hips met thrust for thrust. Her hands explored his body with a frantic need that elicited delightful moans of pleasure from him. His delicious scent was like an aphrodisiac to her which only fueled the fire inside of her until it boiled. Her whole body tingled as he kissed her urgently, his tongue probing her mouth while his thick cock probed at her core. Her passion ventured higher until it reached its peak and sent her spiraling into tortuous ecstasy.

She felt him tremble in her arms as his orgasm racked his body. Not wanting him to roll away from her too quickly, she grabbed onto his tight ass and held him in place against her, wrapping her legs around his waist for extra measure. "Stay with me," she demanded, squeezing his ass tighter until he fell on top of her. She kissed his neck, his chin, his cheek until he turned his face enough for her to claim his mouth.

"I would have taken the drugs," she mumbled through their kiss.

Breathless and slightly confused, he looked down at her.

"If Vishous had come in here… if anyone but you had come in this room to help me…" she said though her breath was ragged. "I would have taken the drugs."

Even though there was no heat begging for release, she squeezed him again, this time tightening her core around his penis still deep inside of her. He instantly grew hard again and the power of his bonding scent was as strong as it had ever been. He tilted her hips up and pulled her body to his, giving him greater access to go deeper into her body. He kissed her with renewed fervor, and started thrusting all over again.

This time, Bella knew, was about them. This wasn't her need bringing them together, for she didn't feel that raging fire. All she felt was Zsadist. All she felt was his care and devotion. Even though she knew it wouldn't last past this one night, she would take all she could from him. And as she milked the orgasm from his body, she knew with all her heart that she would never love anyone like she loved him.