Run Girl, Run!

Disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.

AN: PLEASE do not take seriously. And I'm not trying to insult anyone or their fics. It's just that there are SO many Seras parings, and quite a few of them involve her going into heat. So, yeah please don't be offended. Oh, and don't worry. I never do anything TOO explicit.

It started out as a simple assignment, a clean up operation. Alucard had already disposed of the vampire 'faker' and returned to the mansion. However, since the vampire wasn't the 'genuine article', his ghouls did not perish with him. They were still infesting the surrounding area. So Integra sent Seras off to deal with the left overs.

Pip had offered to come and help out. Seras knew that he only made the offer to score some alone time with her. Still, she accepted. Killing ghouls wasn't difficult work, but it was time consuming. Having Pip along would make things go much quicker, and Seras was tired. She wanted to get back to the mansion and go to bed... uh, coffin. Besides, Seras didn't mind the Frenchman's company. In fact she rather enjoyed it, as long as he kept his hands to himself.

So, the Draculina and the French Mercenary went about their work, and everything was pretty uneventful. Well, it was as uneventful as disposing of the undead ever got. But then things changed as a twister of Holy Scriptures swirled around, and Paladin Alexander Anderson emerged from the center. He laughed, joyfully.

Unfortunately for Seras and Pip, their latest mission just happened to take place in Ireland. The country was contested ground, with both Hellsing and the Iscariots staking claim to it; and it seemed that Section XIII had sent their own agent to deal with the infestation.

The scriptures vanished, and Seras tried to be diplomatic. "I'm sorry, Paladin; but I'm afraid you're too late. Master has already disposed of the vampire."

"Really?" Anderson grinned. "And where be ye master?"

Pip answered, "He's already gone home, lucky stiff. Mignonette and I drew clean up duty."

Anderson looked momentarily disappointed, but then his smile returned. "Well then, I guess I'll just have to be content with disposing of de one abomination." Anderson leared at Seras.

The vampire shrank back a little. "Now, wait a minute. We have a truce, remember?"

"True, true. But I also have orders to destroy all the undead in this town." Anderson lowered his head slightly, and the moon light reflected off his glasses. "And ye are a vampire." Anderson smirked as he began to charge at Seras.

The fight did not last long. Unfortunately for Seras, she was still far from the Paladin's combat equal, even with Pip's, admittedly meager, assistance. In less then ten minutes, Pip was lying on the ground, unconscious. The French man had a broken arm, nose and three bruised ribs. Seras felt bad that the kind, if perverted, man had gotten so beaten up trying to help her; but, at least, he'd live. Seras wasn't so sure about herself.

Anderson had her pinned to the ground. The Priest was breathing hard from the fight, but he was far from exhausted. And two of his blessed bayonets scissored Seras's neck. She saw both her life and un-life flash before her eyes as the priest leaned in and whispered in her ear. "And this, Lilith, is when you die." But then a strange thing happened. The Paladin did not close the gap between his blades and cut off her head. In fact, he did not even raise his head to look down at her terrified expression. Instead he sniffed at her a couple of times then pushed his nose into her neck and inhaled deeply.

"What the bloody Hell?"

"Hell? Oh, yes. Hell." Anderson pulled his face away from the vampire's neck and looked down at her. "Now, I'm going to send you to... to... Hell." The last word sounded weak, barely above a whisper; and as it exited the priest's mouth, his nose went back to the vampire's neck. He inhaled again. "Ahhh, what... what is that scent?" Then Seras felt something that she couldn't believe. The chaste priest was actually becoming aroused.

"What the... Get off of me!" The priest refused. Instead he began to press is body into hers. As Seras struggled beneath the priest, he let go of one of his blades and attempted to hold her down. That proved to be a mistake. Now having a blade pressed against only one side of her neck, Seras had more room to maneuver; and as the two struggled, Seras finally obtained enough leverage to throw the priest off of her.

He flew thirty feet away and impacted the side of a building. Seras stood up and looked at the priest. His glasses had come off in the struggle, and Seras could see that his pupils where fully dilated. He looked 'out of it', like a addict after shooting up... or a vampire in blood lust.

Seras shouted, "What the Hell is wrong with you?!"

The priest looked up and suddenly his face changed. His pupils began to contract and awareness seemed to dawn on him. Still not completely back to his old self, the priest actually apologized. "I'm... I'm sorry. I... I don't know what came over me. I... I just wanted... I wanted to." His voice began to grow week again, and a vacant stare passed over his face. Then he shook his head and firmly grasped his cross. "Demon! Temptress!"

"Temptress? I didn't do anything to tempt you? You attacked me and... and then tried to rape me! How the bloody Hell is any of this my fault?!"

"Stay... Stay back!" Scriptures flew around Anderson again, and he vanished.

Seras shook her head and couldn't help but wonder just what had happened. After a moment she shrugged, went over to Pip and picked him up.

(Well, what did you think of the first chapter? I know, it didn't turn out very funny, but the next one should be more humorous. It'll be easier to write funny stuff at the mansion than in some random town.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)