*** THIS STORY IS CURRENTLY BEING RE-EDITED. **
I've noticed a lot of errors in the earlier chapters and that my writing is a lot better in the end compared to the beginning, so I'm going back and re-editing and replacing all the chapters. None of them will be taken down, they will all stay on but gradually be replaced. I'll take this bit of the A/N down when its all done.
A/N- Hey! So here is my first fanfiction ever. It's all human, very AU... but I hope you all like it!
So heres the summary (well, my best attempt at one...)
Bella and Edward have been best friends for years, he sees her as the only person he can talk to and someone who will always be there for him. He's unaware that she feels the opposite- she is completely in love with him, and always has been. She's finally ready to tell him- but what if his girlfriend gets in the way? And it leads them to be a thousand miles apart in different colleges with different lives? Will being apart from Edward help Bella move on? Will she even want to when she realises that Edward has always loved her, but he's only just realised...
Anyway hope you like this! Let me know what you think!
(Song for the chapter- Teardrops on my guitar- Taylor Swift)
"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The Only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..."
A thousand miles
Chapter one: Truth and Heartbreak
Graduation... some would call it the end of a big stage of a person's life. Some others would say its the point where you have to close the door to 4 years of your life that you think have flown by, but in reality all the memories from the beginning are just a blur. It's a time say goodbye to those you've grown up with – people who might not necessarily be your best friends, but more your acquaintances instead- where you shed a few tears, and give a few brief hugs, and then move on.
It's the point you do move on to your best friends –if you're lucky enough to have them that is - and promise you'll be friends forever and you'll never ever grow apart no matter the distance... I wish.
It's supposed to be the beginning of adulthood where you get to go off into the big wide world- where you go to college, see new places… and ultimately grow up saying a complete goodbye to childhood.
I was now on my way to just that… you see I have recently got my acceptance letter for Dartmouth College where I'll be majoring in English Literature. It should be the best thing that's ever happened to me… My best friend Alice is coming with me, so I should technically be very excited. After all Dartmouth is all I've ever wanted and all I've ever dreamed of… right?
I'm Isabella Swan, though no one ever calls me that- it's always been just plain Bella. I'm 18 years old, and I live in a small rainy town that goes by the name of Fork's. But enough about me, there's not much more to tell. Everything in my life has always been about him, he's my whole life and my everything... only he doesn't know that yet.
I have been in love with Edward Masen since the day we met around 7 years ago. He's always assumed I'm one of his best friends, someone who he can turn to, or just have fun with or act stupid like friends do together. He's never known how I've always felt about him though- he's been oblivious to the fact that every night I've dreamt of him telling me that he loves me back, and that he's always felt the same. Unfortunately, being that he is also incredibly good looking as well as having a magnetic personality, other girls apart from me have also dreamt of being with him, and the horrible truth is some of them have and are.
Luckily for me just a couple of months ago, he announced he would be joining Alice and me in Dartmouth, despite having a long-term girlfriend named Tanya. Who luckily for me planned to go to a completely different college in Miami, approximately a thousand miles from Dartmouth give or take a few. He insisted that they could make the whole 'long distance' relationship thing work however, because he loves her.
It hurt to hear him say that back when he confessed to me about her, but I knew that deep down he didn't care as much for her as he let on. After all he was choosing his friends over his love, and as selfish as it seems I couldn't be gladder.
As selfish as that sounded.
Traditionally in every school across America when graduation rolls around someone will throw a party to celebrate freedom and getting out of the 'hell holes', and although Forks high is small- it is no exception. Tonight, Alice is throwing one in her parents' house- with their agreement of course. And even though I insisted I didn't want to go- I have never really been one for parties - her and Edward finally convinced me to come, and despite my reluctance I was slightly grateful for that.
Anyway back to present, which was graduation. I was currently passing through the large crowd that had now formed, and knowing that I didn't have time to catch Alice, I just headed straight towards Edward. I eventually spotted him and began walking over, only to completely backtrack my steps when I noticed Tanya holding on to his arm.
"Hey, Bella!" he called waving, clearly spotting me.
I sighed, but forced a smile and waved before moving on; he looked confused for a second before Tanya said something, which caught his attention. I'm surprised he's never noticed that I avoid him when Tanya's around- it's just too painful to see them together… when they're doing things couples do. I can't bear it.
I made my way through the crowd and into the arms of my dad Charlie, who then insisted on taking me out for dinner- something that I couldn't refuse, after all he has always been there for me… I didn't want to deny him the happiness of his only child's graduation. Besides, we've only had eachother for years… 10 to be exact. Even since the day my mom, Renee ran away without even so much as a letter or a phonecall.
I've never really known my mom… I can barely even remember what she looks like now. But it had never mattered to be, because I had Charlie… that was all that I needed.
Dinner was fairly comfortable; Charlie and me were very alike after all, so got on very well all the time.
"So it's definitely Dartmouth you are going to, huh?" he asked me, in between eating fries.
I nodded my head, taking a sip of my lemonade- it tasted flat but still nice, "yeah, my minds set on it."
He nodded in thought, "...and your gunna be okay there?" he asked- and without much detail, I knew exactly what he meant.
"Yes, Edward and Alice also got accepted, granted they are not doing the same courses as me but hopefully Alice and I will get the shared dorm we requested," I explained to him.
"That's good, I'm glad you have them two. But isn't Edward going to Miami?" he asked confused.
That's right, everyone know each other's business in Forks- another negative point of living in such a small town.
"Where did you hear that?" I asked, confused… I knew that it wasn't true, after all Edward had said...
"From his parents earlier today. They told me he was going with his girlfriend- what's she called? Tara or something...?"
"Tanya, dad," I replied, "and that's not true, Edward told me so. I'm sure he just hasn't told his parents yet or something," I explained sincerely. After all I knew Edward wouldn't lie to me… he never had. Still, I knew that I would have to confirm that later...
The rest of dinner consisted of more small talk- I asked him more about how his friend Billy Black was doing, and he asked me about Alice, and I told him some more stuff about Dartmouth, and admittedly he was impressed by it all. Although I wasn't planning to leave for a while yet, I still shed some tears when Charlie admitted just how much he'll miss me- because the feeling is mutual… I know I'll miss him too.
When we got home, I went upstairs to get changed quickly for the party, sighing when I noticed Alice had been in my room yet again- the blue dress I had never seen before that was spread across my bed was a dead give-away. I lifted it up only to see a note in Alice's scrawl attached to the coat hanger.
Wear this. This could be your chance to impress him. Alice x
I sighed to myself, hating how obvious I must have seemed. She had known for the past couple of years about how I feel for Edward- I didn't tell her, she guessed just by the way I act. I always thought that I wasn't obvious around him but she insisted I was and still am.
The dress itself looked a little formal, but admittedly I loved it- it was just above knee length, so wasn't too long or too short. It was styled with a V-neck that didn't show too much cleavage. It was a deep blue and felt like silk, and was exactly the sort of dress I would pick- if I ever voluntarily went shopping that is. I made a little more effort, styling my curls as best I could, and adding a small amount of makeup also… despite all of this I still felt and looked plain though, and knew that I always would be.
I'm pretty sure that everyone in our senior year had turned up to this party- it already seemed to be in full swing by the time I got there.
"This is turning out so much better than I thought!" Alice grinned, bouncing up to me, full of energy as ever. I smiled and looked down at my best friend, noticing that she was wearing a dress similar to mine but in a light pink- it looked really great on her, as anything did.
"Yeah, looks like everyone turned up, plus this place looks great, good job Pixie." I smiled in response ruffling her spiky hair, feeling smug at my use of her old nickname.
"Ha-ha why thank you Bell-Bell," she laughed, also using my old nickname, curtsying jokingly. I only stuck my tongue out in response, laughing throughout.
She had managed to convince me to drink some alcohol that some people had somehow bought, obviously using fake ID. Admittedly it was helping me relax, I moved onto my third vodka and coke, drinking through a straw- something that Alice smiled at for some reason. She herself only stuck to non-alcoholic sugary drinks; she was hyper all the time anyway, no need to be any more so.
Mike Newton took that moment to come and talk to us, telling us about his so-called sports scholarship, (or more like bragging about it.) Only I got distracted as my gaze landed on Edward- he had clearly just arrived as everyone was bombarding him, congratulating him on being Valedictorian. Luckily I saw no Tanya in sight, so I turned my attention fully on him, noticing was how gorgeous he was, and how beautiful his smile looked across his flawless face.
... They say alcohol makes you more confident and this was living proof, because it was in that moment- the one second where Edward's beautiful emerald green eyes met my own brown ones. And the following few seconds when he grinned his crooked smile for me… it was then that I decided I would tell him how I felt about him. I knew that even if he didn't feel the same way that I had to get it out of my system before I could really live my life, after all its now or never right?
"What are you thinking Bell?" Alice nudged me, breaking me out of my short epiphany.
I turned to her, feeling relieved to notice that Mike was gone- "I was thinking... it's time. To tell him… to tell Edward how I feel," I replied, smiling with little effort.
"Oh, Bella that's great! It's about time!" she laughed, pulling me into a hug.
I laughed also, "Yeah, I have delayed it a bit haven't I?"
She nodded, "Just a bit!" she said, ruffling my own hair, before pausing looking serious, oh no. "Just remember please Bella... Be prepared okay? He may not feel the same way remember, because he does have Tanya and all..." she warned me.
"I know, I know... I get that he doesn't feel the same... but I kind of know I just have to tell him now. So at least he'll finally know the truth and I can move on if I have to," I replied.
"Or so when he finally breaks up with Tanya he'll discover his true feelings for you and will already know you feel the same!" she squealed, enthusiastic. I had to laugh at her enthusiasm for a moment-although she drove me up the wall sometimes... I don't know what I would do without her.
"Alice, that'll never happen," I sighed, glancing back over in Edward's direction, surprised to see him heading towards us, effortlessly weaving through the crowds of drunk teenagers.
"I don't know... I have a feeling," she winked at me. I sighed again but still smiled at her, before quickly downing the rest of my drink. It didn't taste as strong as before, maybe it was because I'd already had a couple...
"Hey Edward!" Alice near on yelled as he stepped in front of us.
"Hey!" he said just as enthusiastic, before smiling apologetically. "Look I'm so sorry that I didn't come to you two before, it's just kind of crazy you know?" he sighed, running a hand through his already messy bronze hair.
"That doesn't matter Edward! We have you for all of 4 years remember? Dartmouth soon! Yay!" Alice replied, near on jumping up and down in her excitement- I didn't know whether it was for the party, graduation, or me finally being honest.
"Erm... yeah..." he said quietly, though he was cut off by Alice pulling us two into a group hug -she sure was strong when she wanted to be, despite being so tiny. And despite his surprise Edward responded by wrapping his own arms around us and holding us tight to him refusing to break his hold for a while.
Only when he did I knew it was time to talk, "Erm, Edward? Would it be okay to talk to you privately for a minute?" I asked him, cautiously taking a step back.
He nodded, "Sure," he said softly.
Alice smiled, "I'll see you two in a minute!" she said, and with that she bounded off, walking up to Angela and pulling her into a hug before Angela had even registered Alice's presence.
Edward and I laughed at her, before we both headed upstairs; and searched until we found an empty room… which coincidentally turned out to be Alice's one. I walked in first, and before I had time to turn around Edward had pulled me into a tight hug halting what I was going to say. Without any conversation he pressed his face into my hair breathing it in, and wrapped his arms around my back to press me close. Letting out a soft breath I wrapped my own around his neck and pulled him even closer.
It was times like this that I could fool myself into believing that he might just feel the same for me.
He eventually pulled away, but still stood close to me; "I've wanted to do that all day," he smiled softly, slowly brushing my now messed hair away from my face.
I smiled, feeling suddenly calm with his touch, and was beginning to figure out what to say, when he spoke first.
"I'm glad you wanted to talk Bella… I have something important to tell you," he said softly.
"Oh really...?" I asked, still smiling widely.
"Yeah," he nodded, "… I thought you should be the first to know," he replied.
"Yeah I should," I laughed. He nodded staying silent, "it's the same with what I have to tell you as well, but do me a favour please?" I asked, waiting for him to nod before saying- "Go first."
We both walked over to the pink sofa in the corner and sat down next to eachother. "Okay..." he sighed, facing me, lifting one of my hands in his. "Well, you know how I've been with Tanya for a while now?" he asked.
I nodded vigorously; eager for him to tell me already, the suspense was almost painful... for this could end up being the best moment of my life... I wish.
"And how I've always said I love her? Well, I realised something... clearly there must be something wrong seeing as she's going to Miami and I'm going to Dartmouth. That's a thousand miles apart! So I knew I had to change it… sort it out," he explained, hesitating.
I leaned closer, desperate to hear him say what I wish- that he'll leave her, because he doesn't love her, as he's realised he's in love... with me.
Three words, Edward… eight letters… say them… and I'm yours.
Only then, everything changed, as I knew it would- only not at all the way I hoped. This was the way my nightmares tended to go.
"So I've decided... that I'll be going with her Bella, I'm going to Miami!" he smiled at me, not seeming to notice my expression had turned from being hopeful to horrified.
"...After all I love her and there's no reason to be apart, she also made a suggestion... and... we're engaged Bella." He told me softly.
...I should have known.
As I took in his words, the air suddenly felt thick- I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my chest began hurting… like it was breaking into pieces. It was like shards of glass had splintered into my heart. And that was when the tears rolled warm and fast down my cheeks.
He won't ever love me back, will he?
Should I bet against Alice, or not?