NEW SUMMARY! (One that I hope to stick with this time! ^^;; ) : KidLiz, Liz & Patty centric- If you ask me my name, I'll hesitate. I don't know it. Is it really "Liz"? If that is my name, why do I... this name... Was I just waiting for you to come along and tell me... Who I am? - BEING REVISED, CHAPTER 10 UP! R&R! A/N: I'm currently revising all the chapters to "Liz" until the current one. But don't worry, since I already did them, all I need to to fix mistakes and add some minor details I left out. I'll be finished in no time, so don't worry about updating any time soon! I'll get the next chapter soon enough! However before the story read the warning, I put some rather dark themes in before in the first chapter but without alot of emphasis. Now though, you will see a lot, this is a chapter mainly focused on angst. Do not worry, I won't dwell here, I just need you guys to get the actual picture of whay happened in the story. I hope you do enjoy the chapter. Or rather, not enjoy it but find it informative.
NEW SUMMARY! (One that I hope to stick with this time! ^^;; ) : KidLiz, Liz & Patty centric- If you ask me my name, I'll hesitate. I don't know it. Is it really "Liz"? If that is my name, why do I... this name... Was I just waiting for you to come along and tell me... Who I am? - BEING REVISED, CHAPTER 10 UP! R&R!
A/N: I'm currently revising all the chapters to "Liz" until the current one. But don't worry, since I already did them, all I need to to fix mistakes and add some minor details I left out. I'll be finished in no time, so don't worry about updating any time soon! I'll get the next chapter soon enough! However before the story read the warning, I put some rather dark themes in before in the first chapter but without alot of emphasis. Now though, you will see a lot, this is a chapter mainly focused on angst. Do not worry, I won't dwell here, I just need you guys to get the actual picture of whay happened in the story. I hope you do enjoy the chapter. Or rather, not enjoy it but find it informative.
WARNING(S): Very dark themes, CURSING!, blood, ABUSE, alcohol usage, smoking usage, murder and domestic violence. Please read with caution. It's kinda angsty.
By Evanescences Angel
My name is Elizabeth Thompson. Or "Liz" for short. When I was younger, around 4, I use to hate that name. Mama called me that when Papa was away, which was all the time. There was never a time that I or her called Patty "Patricia", it wasn't her real name. Patty is her real name, as she always laughed when I played with her. And she never was serious or ever mad, unless you took her toy then she cried. And bite your hand off till you give it back to her.
"Momma~! Liz being a meanie!" Patty cried/growled lunging at me with her sharp baby teeth.
"Ah!" I yelled as she bite me, "This is mine! Not yours, your'restealing!"
"I'm not stealing~! I'm not a thief!"
"You two stop it, before your father wakes up." This made us go silent fast, none of us wanted to see 'Papa' awake. Momma smiled gently at us, "Girls, you must learn how to share. We've only got each other, and when it comes down to it we can always depend on each other. Remember that, you support each other, always."
"Yes, Momma." We said in chorue as she giggled gently, giving us a hug together.
"I love you my little angels." But then her voice soften, "You're the only things attaching me to this world..."
"Momma?" I asked, but my small meek voice was nothing as a harsh yell interrupted me. Our blood froze and Mom quickly let us go and ran to the master bedroom.
"H-Honey, are you alright?"
We heard a large smacking sound and a thug on the room. Patty whimpered and I held her hold, trembling just the same.
"Bitch! You know damn well to give me a beer before you fucking enter. Whore, now get up!!"
Momma said nothing about anything only going back in the kitchen to do as he said. She gesture me and Patty to go in the other room, but as we did 'Papa' came out. Sloppy, smelt of alcohol, and smoke, growling at us pushing us both aside rather hard. I fell to the floor, whimpering slightly as my knee was scraped but I knew better than to complain and cry. He hated tears and the more tears you cry, the more he hurts. He glared at me, as though the sight of me put him to disgust. He spat on my face as he passed, as I were trash that he didn't care for.
"Fucking whores, you'll be just like your fucking mother."
I knew that Papa never called us by our names, and when momma was with him, she called us "Elizabeth" and "Patricia". I usually like it but I hated it when Papa was around too. But to Mama, we were Patty and "Liz". Even now after 13 years, I can still remember her calling our names. And even now after 13 years, I can still remember her calling our names when she was getting beat by my "Papa". Even after all this time, I remember how her tears made me cry too. Even now, how she always smiled at us when her bones broke.
"I-It'll be a-alright... d-don't c-cry..." But we couldn't, me and Patty held each other as our mom laid there bleeding and broken, she tried to smile for us. "Angel's shouldn't cry, Patty, Liz..."
"B-But momma... you hurt... we need to t-take you s-somewhere to g-get better!" I said letting go of Patty and ran to Momma trying to pick her up, but she was three sizes the size of a 4 year old. Patty was still just a 2 year old and barely understood but knew well that Momma was in pain. I started to cry as the pool of blood around her increase. Momma's breathe was shallow and rugged, as she tried to keep smiling.
"I'll be fine with rest... don't worry... I'm just fine..."
"No you're not!" I screamed at her, my tears streaming as I pulled with all my might until I was able to drag momma into another room to rest. Patty helped by grabbing her legs. Mom whimpered as her body moved, her body was in pain. And I struggled to keep her safe. My muscles ached already and we hadn't move even a few feet, but I didn't stop nor give up. Patty was at my side with a cute yet determine look on her face,
"Momma's gunna be alright.." She chanted to herself over and over, just to comfort herself really. But as she did, I said that ot myself.
"Momma's gunna be alright, cuz we're gunna protect her!"
Little did I know, as momma continued to smile at our efforts...
As we continued to push ourselves...
I couldn't protect what was already dead.
I guess that why I love Patty's smile. It's was Mama's. To hide pain. But I made it my duty to always make Patty smile for the right reasons. Even when... Mama died. Patty smiled at her funeral. She smiled even when she cried. She smiled just like Mama. And so, I plan to kill the person who killed her smile.
Tears sprung my eyes, as I sat in a corner of our room, my knees against my chest and my head in my knees. Patty sat beside me with her blank expression. But that smile remain, a goofy and wide smile that I thought would spilt her face. I was openly in pain... but she hid her pain... her feelings from the world...
There were no charges against Papa, for he sober up and pretended to be the loving husband that we knew he wasn't. Our relative want nothing to do with us so we remained at the hell hole that we called "home." He knew he could do anything to us and get away with it, but I wouldn't allow it, not like momma.
"Oi! You fucking bitches! Get up and make dinner! Didn't that whore take you any better!" Papa automatically went for me, and smacked me half way across the room. My back hit painfully to the corner of the dresser, and I felt blood run down. I grimaced knowing that I had a large scar on my back. Patty whimpered and tried not to cry as she ran to me, trying to help me. That was the first time I taste my own blood. It tasted like copper with a metallic taste. It ran free from my busted lip, as I rubbed my bruised cheek. I hid my eyes with my bangs.
"Hurry the fuck up, I don't have all day." Grabbing my hair, and dragging me into the kitchen and slam me against the stove. His disgusting breath was in my face, as I cringed at the bad smell. "If you don't finish by the end of an hour, I'll make sure you end up just like your stupid mother!"
Slowly a grin made it's way to his face as though he remembered a good thing. He took a long drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke in my face, causing me to cough. "You look too much like the bitch... makes me want to fuck up that face of yours the same way." My eyes narrowed as I glowered at him. He just chuckled and place his smoke his his hand and brought it up to my face. "Aw, feel alittle sad? Mad?" He mocked me, before scowling. "Well fucking deal with it, I own you. You belong to me, I will make sure that you won't try to run away like that pitiful excuse of a woman did."
I yelped as he grabbed my arm and without warning slamed his cigarette on my arm. I screamed as it burned me, I could feel the skin burning, I could hear it sizzle, and thrashed around, grabbing, hitting, biting on anything as the man growled and threw me back to the ground. I held back a sob as I held my wounded arm, but my anger, my rage completely clouded my judgement. "You think just because you killed momma, you think you actually have a hold on me? No, you don't. I will find a way to run away from this. Just you wait..."
'Papa' own rage took a toll on this as pushed me back to the ground and his foot came down on me, my stomach, my face, my back. Everywhere I felt pain over and pain. Bruises over bruises, he hit my head as my head slam from his foot to the ground. I saw lights, stars in my vision, I knew then I was a point to being unconcious. However he stopped, panting.
"Bitch, learn your place in the world. You are nothing, or ever be something. You are dead to this world. You're only goal in life is to live for me, for my reasons. Don't think you can ever escape. You are my property."
Before I could say anything more, he gave me one last kick in the stomach and walked to his room, staggering slightly due to being half way drunk. Still concious, I looked at his figure vaguely and wonder why mother had fallen for such a horrible man. She constantly told me before that Papa hadn't been like this, he just end up like this because of the death of his family and friends during a fire. He took up drinking, and then got worse as he threaten her, it reached a point where hitting her became daily. I didn't see any excuses. This man killed my mother, and didn't even regret it. I picked up my broken body, my whole body was shaking uncontrolablely as I tried to pick up the pieces left behind by that man. I knew something was wrong as I couldn't breathe properly, and I coughed up some blood. But it was there, I felt a pull at my soul, telling me to do something to the man, make him feel pain.
My eyes dialated as I stared at his back thinking of thousands of ways to kill him. At the time, even as I child, I knew something was growing inside me. Something like anger, but at the same time pleasure to see his pain. It was own insanity. My insanity rose, but only to drop even Patty reached me and place her soft and small hand on my cheek. Her eyes were filled with tears.
"Sis... sniff... you o-okay?" Her voice was watery, and I was reminded the fact that she was still 2 years old reaching the age 3 in a few months. I didn't want my sister to suffer like this, I wouldn't allow it. My eyes turned to stone. Never.
"I'm fine." I spoke gently to her before my eyes harden further, "You know where...he keeps it?"
"It?" she questioned.
I knew about the consequences of killing the man known as my father, I knew that I'd be put in jail or worse. Killed. I did not fear death, I told myself that many, many times after momma died. But... I didn't want to leave Patty all alone, she was still so innocent and young. I couldn't abandon her, momma said the only thing we truly have will be each other. So I knew what I had to do to protect Patty...
He was drunk, the fucking bastard, when I shot him with an old pistol through the heart. Smiling I remember, I missed the first time as it hit his gut. But then hiss, as I remembered his last words to me. I will never forget those words...
Slowly the hour pasted and I waited, my hand trembling as I held the pistol in my hand, Patty sat next to me always by my side. My whole body was shaking as I tried to suppress the beating of my heart, which was going wildly. I was about to kill him. And I was shaking...
Finally he came out of his room, staggering still, my heart felt like it stop in my chest. My hands went numb and ached, my whole body froze moving. He dark blue eyes looked down at me, and he growled rising his fist already.
"Where the hell is my fucking food you, bitch-!" He hand was about to hit and my body move on its own accord, I dodge with speed that I gain from not being a human, but a demon weapon and held the gun to stomach like I've used it for years. I pulled the trigger. The aftershock of firing a bullet hurt, as my tiny shoulders jerked very painfully but that was the farest thing from my mind as I heard his blood-curling scream as he fell. Blood spilled all over the ground, on my face and clothes as well, and suddenly the man sober up quick as he cough up blood. His eyes were frantic but at the same time filled with anger and fear.
"You b-bitch! I own your ass! What the fuck do you think you're doing-!?!"
"Shut. Up." My voice surprised me at the time, and my face hurt. Then I realized, I was smiling so hard my face was in pain, my dialated eyes locked with his, my eyes were filled with rage, pleasure, amusement and ... insanity. My voice was that of merriement and calm, as though I was holding back laugher. He flinched back in fear this time. He was only human. Not a weapon like momma. I started laughing when I saw him try to crawl away, moaning in pain. My ears loved every sound of it.
"Da-dd-y~! Where are you going? The fun only just started?" I said in a sing-song voice, but roughly grabbing his head and making him face me. He sweated as I pointed his own gun to his face, in his mouth. He muffed a scream, a cry for help as I pressed it to the back of his throat. Suddenly, as I held the man I called father who was begging for help and me to stop, my amusment turned into full disgust. This man who beat my mother, who ignored her pleads, who was blindsided to our tears, had the nerve to crying like this when it's his life in danger. I snarled at him, my smile wiped clean off my face. "But you disgust me, I don't wanna waste anymore time of trash like you. So see you in hell~! Bye, bye~!"
But before I could even pull the trigger, the man stop struggling and then he was the one who began to laugh, it vibrated on the gun. His eyes edge the same insanity as mines, only his was manic and held no more fear of his life, as though he accepted death. This made my nerves shot, something about that made me crumble a little on the inside. He didn't care he died.
"You finally got the courage to kill me, did you?" 'Papa' voice was muffled as he spoke with the gun still in his mouth, but it was still loud, "You'll never make it outside these walls. You are trash, you will be nothing more. You are a tool without a user. All of you, demon weapons are just scum of the earth. Just remember bitch, once you pull that trigger, it's either killed or be killed. You will regret this, I'll will make sure of it. You will die painfully and alone. I'll see you in hell, daughter! Remember this always, before you kill me. You are nothing, absolutely nothing!! You will never belong in this world!! YOU ARE TRASH!! DO IT BITCH! KILL ME! KILL ME!! TRASH DO IT!! KILL ME-!!!!"
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!" I screamed over and over as I pulled the trigger, and I didn't stop. Over and over, each shot on his body. "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!! DIE YOU SON OF BITCH!! DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE-!!!!"
I pulled the trigger once more. My screams stopped as I panted and the man before me was dead, his brains shot out of the back of his head as his corpse crumbled to the ground. I had continue to shoot at his already dead body and there were bullet holes all over his body. Blood spilled all over my hands, and numbly, I couldn't feel my hands anymore and I dropped the gun from them. The house was suddenly quiet.
Surprisingly that made it quite unreal. I killed a man, my father no less. And the silences afterward made me uneasy, made me vurenable to to the world. My wounds were open for anyone at the moment to see. I felt the pull, the urge to kill yet again, over and over. More blood, more screams of pain, more and more. My breath grew shallow and rugged as the mind of a four year old began to be consumed be the thought of murder and death.
More, more, more, more!
Suddenly everything didn't sound so quiet, everything had a sound, a purpose and a voice. My sanity that was being tested was now in control. Patty's voice was like a safe haven to me, those once insane thoughts were now gone thanks to her. Slowly I turn to look at her, her eyes met mines and I smiled, my smile normal this time but it was sad. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I-I'm sorry. S-so so-sorry..." My voice cracked. But she smiled at me, and it surprised me. It was her true smile that made her face bunch all up and reached her eyes.
"Liz... lets go." Her eyes were ever bubbly, but in them held something that no normal two year old would have. A very slight insane look in them. "We'll be together forever~!"
I gave a weak grin this time, as her small hands held my bloody ones. My hand shook, while her hands were soft. My eyes had tears in them, while her had determination. I got a good look at my little sister, she did not stare at the scene in horror but in concern for me. She did not shake or cry, she didn't care that the man died. She was so strong and brave... something I needed to be for her but she did for me.
After that me and Patty ran away from the world that our Mama couldn't. But it wasn't easy. Patty saw what I did, but she always knew that that person would always be a murderer, not me. But now I had to defend the one who smile I swore to protect.
I loved my name Elizabeth, but Patty called me "Liz" just like Mama. And I was happy she did. In a way she was still my Mama even though I protect her. She kept my sanity. She erase my sins. After that I found a abandon place where I knew we could hide. I left Patty there as I gave her old toys, while I was begging and stealing our food, getting beat and bruise but everytimeI came "home" it was worth to see Patty's smile. Her real one.
Years passed, I turned 11 while Patty was 10. I was better at fighting after all the battles that I fought, Patty no longer played with her toys. But she never was allow to come with me. She played in the playground, on the swings, always the swings, til morning till dusk. As she played she was waiting. It was only when I came home one day, with a broke arm, bleeding head and bruises on every inch of my body, that I saw her anger.
Her eyes no longer sweet, twisted with anger and horror. Her smile turn into a snarl, her eyes edge a place where it scared me. And she looked just like "him." I couldn't believe it when she slap my across my face. She never looked so... grown up. Like an adult.
"How could you Elizabeth! Why do you always leave me behind! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT YOUR DOING TO YOURSELF!!" She screamed before tears ran down her face. In a softer tone she whispered "Don't you care... that I don't want to see you hurt... Don't you care that I don't want you to always protect me."
She quietly sobbed as the sun setted behind us.
I slowly placed my hand on her head.
I smiled and she looked up and smiled too.
After that, there was never a day I left her alone.
After that I never wanted her to call me Elizabeth again.
A/N: This chapter had many dark themes to it, many of themes I'm familar with so I wrote what I knew best. I know that some of that was rather... out there, but everyones past has a story, each one more darker than the last. This is just one them. I hope with doesn't discourage readers into reading more into the story. I tried my best with this chapter, and I can only hope for the best! Took me some time and I just got plain lazy towards the end to revise the rest of it. It would require a whole other chapter to chapter that part of there life. You took only imagine what they went through. I hope this worth the wait of the next chapter! Now to revise chapter 2!
P.S. I don't think i will revise chapter 4, it took to long to even make they chapter and I like it anyways~.
P.S. To those who want to review but already did for the first chapter, just type an Anonymous review with your penname and I'll send a PM for the review reply! EXCUSE THE GRAMMER MISTAKES!!!!!
Reviews make me happy so please! :3