A/N: You hate me, I know you do. I'd be upset as well, waiting for an update this long but let me explain. The last month has been crazy. I got a job, had to find an apartment and move there. Then there was christmas and a writer's block. Oh and one of my beta's went missing. :/ And now i'm a full time worker and find hardly time for the Twilight fandom at all. It's a miracle that I was able to finish this chapter. I hope you like it. :) It was the original idea for this fic. I had this scene in my head and couldn't let go of it unless I wrote it down. There won't be a bad cliffhanger this time, since I have no idea when I will be able to update again. I'm not that mean. ;) Haha. So forgive me for being late and enjoy reading.
Disclaimer: These wonderful Characters sadly aren't mine. I just use them to create drama. Stephenie Meyer on the other hand is the rightful owner and I'll thank her forever for creating this awesome Love Story.
He tasted heaven, life, absolution and sweetness all at once; I could this tell by the way his body tensed, aching towards the source of endless bliss. And everything seemed like in slow motion from that moment on, but going too fast at the same time, nevertheless. Every muscle of his went rigid while a hungry gaze froze his features. The rage his thirst enforced after swallowing my blood was beyond anything I ever imagined. He had once told me how dangerous my being close to him when hunting would be. I didn't believe him then. I believed him now.
My spine would have been broken without my knowing if Jane's stare hadn't been holding Edward back. His eyes held so much violence, so much want and need. It seemed even the young female vampire had to struggle keeping him down. His fingers, although curled from torment, reached for my neck. He was convulsing heavily and his teeth were exposed. He craved me, more than anything in the entire world.
"I would step away if I were you." Jane tried to sound amused, but I could clearly hear the strain in her voice. She wanted me to move, to not lose control over him. He'd rip her to shreds, blocking the hunter.
So I forced myself out of the current shock and got myself together, stepping rapidly away from him. My entire being was shaking. I hadn't even tears left to cry in my fright, but I could hear my breaths coming out in short gasps.
Edward was fighting. Fighting so hard against the invisible pain, but much more so against the chains, and Jane, to get to the source of pure satisfaction: my life essence. And I hated myself for wishing she wouldn't let go of him. Hated how I prayed she was stronger than him. Hated the tearless cries leaving my lungs and showing my world crumbling to dust. I felt safe, felt grateful, knowing that he couldn't do anything against her gift. And I already begged the monster lusting after me for forgiveness, for I was not better than Jane.
What had I become? A much worse monster, for sure. This was wrong. How could I wish for my beloved to be kept tortured because I was afraid to face his true nature? I loved everything about Edward, his dark side being a part of him; I could not turn on him, ever.
And so when she loosened the chains, to only hold him down with her brutal mind and succeeded, the filthy truth of my relief crashed into my brain, almost knocking me off my feet. It took me only a moment to realize the slow but steady pull in my chest, as if pearls dropped down from a necklace, stringing the rope tighter around my throat while doing so. It was foreign, this need, the wish for Jane to win this fight. And it was cutting a deep, throbbing wound into my heart when I heard the strange sound ringing in my ears as I felt it breaking. The epiphany of my cruelty let me have the last tears inside my empty body. The pain shot across my ribcage while my heart beat picked up.
My glance landed on his face, and when I saw his black orbs swallow my innocent soul from afar, already planning the kill, there was no salt left in my lids. Only acceptance. I was his; his only. Never had it been different. He shall have me finally.
"Leave us alone." I whispered with a broken voice.
Jane looked up one moment, questioning my demand, but had to return quickly to the task on keeping Edward bound to her mind games. His agony hurt me more than my fear of dying. I wanted her to stop, to finally stop.
"I want to be alone with him." Anything…anything to take away his pain. "Please?" And my red swollen eyes found hers.
I was sure her silent nod was due to her weakening hold on him and not some sudden flash of pity or kindness. Keeping her gaze on him, she started to back away. Unexpectedly though, I heard a clicking noise and my eyes shot wide open. I had to cover my mouth so I didn't scream. She had opened the last one of the iron straps around his wrists, breaking him free for good!
Of course she would, the game was over.
I stepped backwards until I was blocked by one of the walls. Then I heard the metal make contacts with the floor as the shackles fell off Edward's arms. My eyes stayed somehow fixed on them, not wanting, not needing, to see him getting up.
Jane forced all her power on him one last time, I assumed, to get herself out of the room before he had his strength back. She must feel his anger towards her, breaking him in the first place just to cause pain.
He snarled angrily at her when she released him finally from her stare, self preservation ranking higher for a few short seconds.
"I wouldn't try Edward", she said. "You'd be down again the second your teeth came any close to my skin."
He only growled louder; he was furious with her. His sharp white teeth were exposed and his lips curled back as he opened his mouth and stepped in her direction.
Jane was out of the room before I could even blink, stealing herself from the already tense situation rather than testing the theory of newborn vampire strength. And the door closed again. Edward and I were alone.
I heard him chuckle. As to having scared off Jane off or to finally being free to go after his prey, I didn't know. But his laugh sounded dark, throaty, and his attention sure enough was fixated back on me within seconds. He began to circle me, my scent attacking his senses anew.
Edward's movements were cat-like, like a lion stalking its kill, coming ever so slightly closer, the movements gracious and silent. He had never been less human or more beautiful; had never been less controlled or more passionate. He was an angelic, dangerous predator, hesitating, yet possessive.
And it looked like play of cat and mouse when Edward bounced towards me only to come to a halt inches before making contact. Suddenly he was gone, and then back again, in front of me within half a second while growls erupted in his throat. Then he ran to the farthest corner of the room. His long lashes hid the dark smoldering eyes. He was excited, adrenalin driven, continuing the circles.
I eyed him warily, never flinching. My breathing was rapid, yet the fear was absent. And I stood very still the entire time, not belonging anywhere but there. He stopped mid track and lowered his head, his teeth showing a ravenous crooked smile, and the monster gestured with a curled finger for me to come over to him, inviting me with a dazzling pair of black irises.
I wanted to follow, but instead my eyes closed in defeat and I shook my head. I didn't have the strength for a game. I was too sad. And always too forgiving.
"No," I breathed. "Just come over and end it already." I opened my lids for him, watching his puzzled expression. He didn't understand. But also didn't care enough to keep on wondering about my odd behaviour. He grumbled with anticipation, coming closer to me from behind my back.
And, out of nowhere, his guttural growl was next to my ear, his cold breath tickling my neck. His fingers brushing away my hair. He was so close, so undeniably close, and my body betrayed me again, reacted without my knowing, leaning into him. My heart had never beaten more out of pace. It was a live wire, craving for his lips to come near my heated skin. It didn't even register in my mind when I lay my head to the side to give him better access to my neck. ~Stupid lamb~
I heard him shakily breathe at the invitation before his nose skimmed the area along my throat, and I could feel all of his body pressed against my back. I almost moaned, for I felt complete for the first time in months. My eyes shut as I waited for teeth to sink into my hot pulsing liquid. He inhaled my scent deep into his lungs and the tip of his tongue landed on my flesh.
And then…he was gone.
Furious snarling echoed through the chamber not long after. I turned around, stunned by his behaviour. Insanity pushed even feelings of rejection into my system.
I saw him scowl at himself. He looked clearly upset, and his glance was torn, focusing on nothing in particular. Edward was utterly confused and seemed to not be able to make anything out of his actions either. He snarled at me as if I was the reason for his misery, and his lips curled high over his teeth. Then he crouched down, fixating on his prey, and lunged forward.
And my mind drifted, for I had never pictured my life to end like this. Eaten by the one person I would give my life to save, locked up 22 feet underground, in a small chamber of Volterra. But when his arms wound hard around my torso, his lips coming closer to rip out my jugular artery, I could see it, the way Alice had. His crimson eyes glowing in the dark, human blood dropping from his sharp teeth and me lying lifeless in his cold embrace.
Yet I didn't fight. I didn't run.
Not because he was so much stronger than me. Not because he was so much faster, but because I loved him. And if my blood was all I had left to offer, I would willingly surrender. And so it happened that I looked at this god-like creature, my murderer, with glassy eyes, awestruck by his mere existence, defeated after months of surviving a purposeless life, and welcomed him.
The impact of our bodies colliding when he crashed into me was softer than expected. (Not that bruises would matter anyway.) I felt his clear, icy breath dance over my skin, and my eyes lids pressed hard together when I waited for the pain that was about to come. But he tightened his hold like a cage around my shoulders, taking me by surprise. I heard a snarl and then the most beautiful sound in my entire world, ringing through the darkness of this hour. His voice.
"What are you?" He breathed, accusing. "Who are you?" He had stopped half of a millimetre away from my skin, and his velvet tone wrapped me into a blanket of butterflies and spread a warm tickle inside my belly.
"Every time I think about attacking you, my heart starts to ache like a flame would eat on its middle." He spoke in anguish. "Every time I'm about to bite you, I experience pain worse than coming from her." He pointed at the door, implying Jane. And I concentrated on breathing evenly. I felt the danger radiating from every stone-made cell of his body as he spoke, still so close, with his teeth on my pulse.
"But your scent is a call that can't be silenced." He continued and his fingers were slowly gliding down my exposed throat. "I need to have you."
I swallowed, holding as still as a statue.
"Yet it's a drug I cannot have. It makes my venom taste sweet, but changes into a bile bitter burn when I try to taste you." He looked directly into my eyes now. Tortured, confused and clearly in pain. "Are you my personal demon?"
Broken. That was the word my subconscious was searching for. He was broken from the inside. He didn't know what haunted his every being, and it tortured him because he sensed an answer he didn't have tools to reach out for. But there was more. His eyes. Something in his dead, pained glare was vivid and alive when gliding into my brown, pleading pupils.
"No." Tears I didn't know I had loosened were streaming down my face when his familiar voice reached my ears, and his words formed a possibility I had given up a long time ago. One I wasn't prepared to hope for ever again. But the self denied truth that hit me with force wasn't one I could block, and at the same time, it couldn't have been more painful, or more healing. It put the shattered pieces one by one back together in a room full of mirrors and reflected a picture I hadn't allowed myself to dream of. A truth that bound us, wanted or not, to a whole and pushed my singing blood through dried out, now awoken vessels.
The voice, his hallucinated echo, I had heard all those months spent as a shadow whispered encouragement to me now, letting the most beautiful lines spoken by Romeo to his Juliet push the clouds of doubt from my mind. And I never thought it was possible to believe the words that rolled off my tongue.
"You love me, Edward."
But I did, still, after they were spoken. And I knew immediately they were true. He was keeping me alive. Right this second and all the ones before. Even though it was unconsciously, while his entire being longed for my blood, some unspoken knowledge didn't allow his teeth to cut through my flesh.
"Your mind might be blinded, erased, but your heart can't be betrayed." I breathed into his cold chest.
Edward's eyes narrowed and his head bent a few degrees, looking at me cryptically as my words sunk in. I prayed that he remembered something. I wished it to happen. But when a silent growl erupted deep from his chest I knew that he had come up blank.
"I'm Bella, Edward. Your Bella," I whispered urgently.
His nose came closer again, gliding along my jaw and his cool breath blew over my skin, making me shiver. I longed for his touch, but knew I was in grave danger, wanting him much closer. He was a hungry, uncontrolled vampire still, and one swift motion of his hand could break my bones to dust.
He growled and tightened his embrace, stressing the bones of my ribcage. My breathing became stiff. And I hated my hormones for being traitors in this situation of growing hazard. Hated how his closeness was never enough.
"Are you afraid?" he asked threateningly, obviously not having an epiphany of his own.
I swallowed hard and was very aware of the movement my throat made with it. My pulse raced only millimetres away from his tongue.
"No," I whispered, unable to say it out loud in fear it wouldn't sound true.
"Rrrrrrrrr" He growled again, frustrated, irritated. His face was so close, our lashes almost touched.
"I love you too." I breathed low, and my warm inviting scent attacked his nostrils.
He was gone in the blink of an eye, pacing on the far end of the room. I watched him curiously. He was snarling, ripping chunks out of the wall. He even kicked the door in an attempt to get it open and run. But the vampire proof metal wouldn't give way. He scowled, then eyed me again, with a mask of pure anger on his face. Then he bounced, and I was suddenly in his arms again. With his mouth wide open, hovering over my exposed neck. Again. I could feel the tip of his teeth on my skin. His sweet breath came in short gasps. He growled in frustration, sighed even, and pressed into me, pinning me down to the ground.
"Why can't I have you?"
It was an accusation, a question his stolen mind couldn't work through. I held still, didn't move so the razor blades that were his teeth wouldn't cut me accidently.
His lips moved to my ear again, his jaw clenching before he spoke very slowly. "I want to slice your throat open, you frail little human, and suck out every drop of… life you… poss-" Agony stopped his speech mid sentence. The words he formed and the need didn't go together with the grief he had in his heart if he would succeed.
And I dared to touch his arm with one of my fingers. "No, you don't want this."
He lifted his eyes to mine and the blackness searched for an answer that would make sense of the emotions he couldn't place.
"No, I don't," he said defeated. And I felt it too, the both desires tearing him apart. And he asked the same question again with so much pain and lack of understanding.
"Why can't I have you?"
I lifted my hand now to his face, slowly, ignoring the rumble forming in his chest, and placed my fingers lightly on his cheek. His eyes closed when my warm skin made contact with his coldness.
"Because you can't kill what you swore to protect." And I leaned my head closer to his and watched him open his eyes slowly. His lids were narrow, but I could clearly see a light shade of red reaching his eyes. Did he sense something beneath the layer of instinct that was mine? Something still, unmoving, once as alive and erratically beating as my own in this moment? I could only hope, stare back at him, and trust.
Edward lifted my chin up to meet his gaze. He was not aware of blowing air directly into my face, when concentrating on my features. And the sweet delicious scent hit my insides without warning and I was suddenly light-headed again and forgot every danger that was surrounding me. I was in my angel's arms and his breath made me feel like home.
He watched me intensely, alarmed, shying a little bit away when I inhaled him deeper and my lips came closer to his. The still fresh blood on my chin was drawing him in again, and the scent encouraged his thirst. His eyes turned flat black.
But it didn't matter anymore. Because I didn't care what would happen. I gave into the feelings I had for the monster hovering above me, and I knew it was stupid. But my death was a certainty at this point either way, and if I was to be eaten by a hungry vampire today, then I wanted Edward to deliver it, to finally belong in some way. And so I didn't hesitate any longer.
Carefully I pressed my mouth to his, took him by surprise, and pulled him close to meet my kiss. My lips melted into his immediately and my tongue glided along his soft cool skin. The sweetness intoxicating my senses. And while my eyes fluttered shut for a moment, his went wide in frenzy. So I pulled back when feeling his lips curl over his teeth. To linger would have been selfish. Our love wasn't meant to be simple, only to last.
Edward's body was trembling, so was mine. But while I was under the spell of passion, he was in desperate need to bite me. Yet he looked a little bit taken aback. Speechless even. He blinked several times. Then his glance went down to his chest were he clutched the place his heart was resting, and looked back at me, wondering.
I smiled at him. "Felt good didn't it?"
I could see it clearly, yet it was almost impossible to believe. His eyes changed into a reddish golden color and became two of the kindest I've ever seen. He nodded, and met me to rest his forehead against mine. My hands came up and buried in his hair. Salt formed in my eyes and my voice got thick from all this tension falling off of me. "I love you. I love you."
Sad eyes met mine after we calmed our frantic breath, the man inside him caged by a demon and the monster, haunted by emotions, so very human. And if he could cry, he would have. Instead his finger came up to touch my lips. I kissed it.
"It's not your fault you can't remember," I told him silently.
He stroked his thumb lightly over my cheek, and watched as I blushed a deep shade of red. His responding smile, though, never reached his eyes. He looked lost, and when I intertwined my fingers with his, I felt his arms hug me closer, lifting me carefully off the ground and into his lap. He breathed into me, shuttering at my tempting smell, yet needing it to reassure that I wasn't a hallucination. ~sick masochistic lion~
And I kissed the corner of his lips again before his face pressed into my neck and we sat there quietly holding each other in the dark room. And for a moment it didn't matter that he didn't know who he was, because for all the things he couldn't remember, his heart had recognized me.
to be continued...
A/N: AWWW, I know. :)
...So the story would have maybe 2 more chapters.. If I get carried away, maybe three but that would be it... unless some of you had a great plot idea continuing the story a little further. Meaning, if one of you is being a great muse I might turn this into a longer fanfic. Can't make any promises though. And you'd have to be patient for updates, since I have a real life now, that needs lots of attention. :/