Title: The "Hallow" That Should Be A "Hollow"
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Characters: Hitsugaya, Yachiru, Matsumoto, Ukitake, with cameos by Yamamoto and Hyourinmaru

Hitsugaya could not quite fathom why, of all the people in Seireitei, Ukitake-taicho had picked Yachiru as his sidekick for the Thirteenth Division festival planning. Though granted he could be giving Yachiru a chance to plan something for once, because, for good reason, Yamamoto-soutaicho had placed an outright ban on anything organized by the Eleventh Division.

But it still did not make any sense at all.

It wasn't even a 'Let's Have Fun Kicking Hollow Butt' kind of festival, which everyone knew Yachiru would so run away with the top prize at. And which it didn't even remotely make sense to have Ukitake involved in.

And even before seeing the proposal, Hitsugaya knew that it definitely wasn't some sort of tea ceremony thingamajig, because everyone knew that Yachiru and tea ceremonies definitely did not go together. No way. Not even in Kyouka Suigetsu's imaginary illusionary world.

After seeing the proposal which was, in actual fact, mostly cartoon drawings all over the paper and why oh why had he even volunteered to screen through the proposal before the Soutaicho?, he still did not quite get what was supposed to be going on.

It was something about some Halloween thing. Holloween looked more correct, though. What was a Hallow supposed to be anyway? Hallow… Hollow… Hollow was obviously the correct spelling. This was queer. And he had thought that of all the other captains, at least Ukitake could spell… And it involved… Copious amounts of pink and red?

To tell the truth, the paper was illegible. Completely and utterly illegible. Hitsugaya suspected that the one who had completed the now unrecognizable template was Yachiru. And it had been such a nice template too, with nice little boxes for you to write WITHIN.

Prodding the paper, he frowned as his fingertip came away tinged with black and orange crayon. That splotch in the corner looked like something he vaguely remembered seeing somewhere before. It was black… and orange… There was a tiny splotch of red next to that though, which did look like some sort of fruit…

Now. What was black and orange? This was a hard one…

Oh wait. It wasn't. It wasn't hard at all. Gee. Hitsugaya would have hit himself on the forehead except that it was not a particularly cool thing to do.

It was obviously, obviously, Kurosaki Ichigo!

(No, young one, it's a pumpkin.)

Hitsugaya staunchly ignored Hyourinmaru's voice in his head. Now… what on Earth did the Substitute Shinigami have to do with all this…?

The window flew open with a more than audible thump. And no, it wasn't Kurosaki.

"Ne, ne, Little Shiro-chan! Have you seen the wonderful plan Big Shiro-chan and I made?"

Hitsugaya winced as a pink blur of what he supposed was Yachiru whizzed into his office, hopping around all the furniture like the pink sugar-filled candy-crazy thing that he knew she was. He winced again at the cutesy name he had just been assigned.

"It's okay if you haven't seen it, Little Shiro-chan! I can tell you about it!" Yachiru paused in mid-whiz, before crashing down onto the floor from the ceiling beams. Hitsugaya did not want to know how she had gotten up there in the first place. He feared for his bookshelves.

"Big Shiro-chan said that it's going to be fun, and there's going to be costumes and parties and ca- mmph…" A hand clamped itself over Yachiru's mouth as Ukitake himself entered through Hitsugaya thanked whichever god was out there for common sense the main door.

The shortest captain winced as he took in the too-wide smile and the I'm-so-happy-I'm-going-to-give-you-candy look on Ukitake's face.

"My fellow Shiro-kun, what darling Yachiru was going to say," the older captain quickly whisked his hand off Yachiru's mouth a millisecond before she chomped downwards, "was that our brilliant plan involves a costume competition, where all shinigami are invited to cosplay dress up as anything at all under the sun."

The thought of half of Soul Society dressed completely inappropriately had Hitsugaya reaching across his table for the chop that said 'REJECTED' on it in bright red letters.

The thought of Matsumoto attempting to dress him in something stupid while wearing something inappropriate had him resisting the urge to tear the splash of color on paper into shreds. He refused to be dressed in a full body suit of any design, and definitely, definitely not as a watermelon.

"There are also parties in the Halloween theme, we'll be decorating the First Division with black drapes and pumpkins and candles and there will be all sorts of food." Ukitake continued a little louder in the hope of staying Hitsugaya's hand from chopping the paper. "And there will be drinks, both alcoholic and…"

Hitsugaya failed to comprehend exactly how all this was supposed to make him feel reassured and thus want to approve the proposal. Chaos? Mayhem? Half a million drunk shinigami? Next to flammable substances? The Eleventh Division? No freaking way! He refused to…

"Taichoooo!"

Oh great. Matsumoto. And at a time like this. Just brilliant.

"Ne, Taicho, what's this I hear about… Ooh, Ukitake-taicho and Yachiru-chan are also here. Eh, Taicho, is that the…"

"Matsumoto." He glared in her direction, but it seemed that she was either not paying attention or ignoring him. Both were equally likely.

"Eeh? So kawaii! Yachiru-chan, did you draw this yourself?"

"Yep! I have to go! Bye!" There was a rustle, which Hitsugaya dismissed as his curtains. And which he would later regret doing so.

"See you, Yachiru-chan!"

"Matsumoto!" He scowled, brows knitting as he placed the chop back in place on its stand. It wouldn't do to accidentally stamp 'REJECTED' onto his paperwork.

"Oh, wow, this is a fantastic idea, Ukitake-taicho! What else do you have in store?"

"I'm glad you think so, Matsumoto-san…"

"Oi, oi." This was getting irritating. Sure, he wasn't that tall, but he wasn't so short that he was invisible either.

And… was Ukitake FLIRTING with Matsumoto!?

"…As well as dances because bonfires are unsafe and we're planning a haunted house."

"I think you should add a few more candles here, and maybe even get that Ishida to design the outfits."

"OI." He was rapidly losing his patience. Very, very rapidly.

"Ah, fantastic idea, Matsumoto-san. Now I see why Ise-san suggested we rope you into the project!"

"You praise me too much, Ukitake-taicho. But I really think you should add colors here, and maybe even get the captains to all dress up as well. You know, take the lead and all? And then my kawaii taicho can dress up as the Big Bad Wolf…"

That was it. That was the last straw. "MATSUMOTO! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?"

(There's no need to get so angry, you know? It's not like you'll actually be the Big Bad Wolf. Besides, kid, you fail the first criterion. There's no way you could be the Big Bad Wolf.)

Hitsugaya angrily ignored Hyourinmaru. The dragon was having too much fun.

"T-T-Taicho?" Well, gee. Had he just learnt to turn himself invisible or what?

"Maa, Hitsugaya-kun, why are you so upset over such a small thing?"

Ukitake grinned at him. Hitsugaya scowled back.

"Yachiru-chan already took the initial plans off to the soutaicho. This lessens all your problems right away, ne?"

Hitsugaya scowled for the umpteenth time that minute, but against the combined powers of the Almighty Happy Grin and Matsumoto's Puppy Eyes, there was nothing he could do but sigh, and reach for the PASS chop, before realizing exactly what had happened.

Wait… Yachiru had taken the….

"UKITAKE!"

"Heh."


Hitsugaya knew, two weeks later when he was forced into some queer jumpsuit-like outfit, that there had been something they had left out and deliberately not told him.

Why was he cosplaying as a pumpkin…After having spent three whole days convincing Matsumoto that a watermelon was completely out of the question, he had been too tired to convincingly argue against the pumpkin.

Why was Matsumoto some kind of flirtatious big busted cross between a bunny and a witch Because it makes me look cute, taicho, don't you think so? NO!, and oh gawd, why was the Soutaicho a half naked drooping zombie? The horror… The horror… It burned…

But most importantly… why the hell was he going around asking people for CANDY!?

He hated candy. He really did. He most definitely did, and he could not be proven wrong…

Even if he had just finished that piece of pumpkin-shaped chocolate.

Man, Kurotsuchi made good chocolate. Who knew?


Written for Bleach Asylum Holloween Contest. Hope you liked it!

Cheers,
Tan