She regretted it somewhat that she'd never been able to give Ashley the upbringing she had had. The sort of upbringing that would've given the girl perfect manners and a little more eloquence. Not that she didn't love her daughter exactly the way she was, but some days Helen felt the young woman could do with a little…refinement. She knew that even her strict, perfectly polite upbringing wouldn't have stopped or silenced a woman with a personality as strong as Ashley's but still, some days she'd like the girl to slow down and think about what she was saying. What she was doing. Though she knew Ashley wouldn't fit into the world if she'd had that upbringing.
Helen certainly didn't fit in.
She lived on the edges of society. Not only did she hide her abnormals from view but herself too. She mingled when she had to, needed to, at the hospitals and police stations. The rest of the time she remained in the shadows watching, learning.
With Ashley right beside her.
Another regret. She always felt that the young woman should've had her own life and not this bastardised version of her mothers. No matter how many times Ashley told her that this is what she wanted to be doing, she felt Ashley should be shining elsewhere. Not skulking in the shadows.
She was glad for the company though. It had been lonely for a while, before her daughter, her manservant, some of the more verbal abnormals. Will Zimmerman.
Will seemed perfect for Sanctuary in more ways than one. Ready for her world before she'd even introduced herself. She'd come across him once or twice, and seen he'd chosen to keep to the shadows. Dark apartments in the old city, offices in corners or basements of hospitals, working in clinics found down alleyways. She had often wondered if he had decided, after his experience as a child, that it was safer in the darkness, than on the other side and not being able to see what lurked in the shadows.
Another regret was that she never got to know anyone in the traditional manner anymore. It had been a long time since she had spoken to someone, had long conversations with someone late into the night to learn all about them. She couldn't remember a person she hadn't thoroughly researched before introducing herself. She couldn't remember the last time she'd met a person without knowing their middle name, place of birth, fathers place of birth and a whole file of information first.
Ashley was the only one. She hadn't even known whether she would have a boy or girl, hadn't known what to do or what to expect. Having a child was something so normal and natural it had frightened her at first but she never regretted having her. Not once.
The shadows decided so much of her life, and the darkness could invade so much of her mind but Ashley was shining moment in amongst it all.
Even if the girl had no manners.