I'm so, so sorry this took so long to write.

Chapter 5:

"You really are a masochistic fool aren't you?" I looked up from the picture I was holding. My cousin Sumire was talking to me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said putting the picture back in the binder I kept it in. Sumire rolled her eyes. "Don't you even think about dancing your way out of this Ruka. You know damn well what I'm talking about."

I sighed and lay down on my bed. "God, just leave me alone Sumire." Sumire was one of those annoying members of the family everyone has. The one who thinks they know everything and likes to point it out at every chance they get. The type of person who even the most passive person just wants to strangle.

She snickered at me and looked at me with a sneer. "You have no idea how pathetic you are, do you? Look at yourself Ruka!" she said gesturing to me, "When are you gonna face the fact that that girl doesn't love you!"

"Stop It-" I said desperately.

"And do you know why she doesn't love you?"

"Stop It-"

"It's because she loves someone else."

"Cut it out!" I growled.

"And of all people for her to be in love with-"

"SHUT UP!" I shouted jerking upright. She wasn't even fazed by my outburst.

"She loves your best friend. Now stop being such a pathetic fool and end your relationship with her already." she said haughtily.

I suddenly lost all energy, "Sumire please… just leave." I whispered.

"Fine." she said with the same amount of haughtiness, "I might as well leave before I have to see you're sorry face any longer. I wanted to kill her then, but I no longer had the strength to. I collapsed like a heap at the top of my bed.

I didn't need to face anything. Everything she said, I already knew. The truth hurts. Whoever wrote that was a truly inspired person. Nothing can hurt more than the truth, because it's always there, unchanging. There's no avoiding it no matter how hard a person tries, and no matter how much you deny it, it is still there, waiting to pop out at you. To hurt you.

If I'm completely honest with myself I've known Mikan was in love with Natsume since the day I met her. Her eyes shine so brightly whenever someone speaks of him, and whenever she sees him, it's like her entire face glows. I've never seen that look on her face when she looks at anyone else. Then there are the looks she gives him when she thinks I'm not looking. The longing, the desire, and the despair. It's the look one has on their face when they see what they want, in fact, it's right in front of them, but they can never have it. I know that look very well, it's the same look I have on my face whenever I'm with Mikan.

Anyone who's ever seen us alone together could see that it's a one-sided relationship; I'm not surprised that Sumire noticed it. Doesn't that just make it all the more tragic? I have what I want, the girl I love is mine, but her heart isn't. I've given her everything, I've worn my heart on my sleeve, and she still doesn't want me. Our relationship is as faux as it can possibly be.

And I know what you're probably all asking, "Why in the world would you stay with her for so long if you know she doesn't love you." Well Sumire is right about one thing, I definitely am a fool. I hold on to hopes that maybe someday she'll give up on Natsume, and realize that I'd do anything for her. Maybe someday she'll realize that I can make her happy, if only she would just let me. I want her to love me as much as I love her. And I'm a fool because I can't accept the fact that she never will.

Sumire walked outside Ruka's room and sighed. It really was tiring having to act like a bitch all the time, but she knew if she didn't, the snobby kids at her prep school would tear her apart. After a while she just never stopped acting. She seems to be stuck in bitch-mode and she can't turn it off. She took out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Yeah Imai, I did what you asked me to do."


"I'll be over at your place tomorrow to pick up the picture."

She hung up and sighed in relief. Being black mailed by Hotaru Imai was just about the most stressful experience a person could go through.

Hotaru hung up the phone and smiled. Stage one of her plan was finally in play. She looked down and in her hands was a photo of Sumire and her boyfriend Kokoroyome together. It's funny what people will do with the right incentive. Of course Hotaru would never actually follow through with her threats but people usually just don't want to test her. Simply telling Sumire that she would leak the photo to her school was enough to get her to mouth off to her cousin. She shook her head, people really would do anything with the right incentive.

I paced about in the jewelry store wondering what to get her. My hands were sweaty and I had butterflies in my stomach. We had had anniversaries before but this was the first one where I was gonna tell her exactly how I feel. And my body seemed to be telling me that this was a bad idea. I knew in my head that I was going to be turned down and I knew that it would probably end this faux relationship she and I had, but I couldn't help it. My heart told me that I needed to do this. I guess for closure I suppose. The something caught my eye. It was a white banded ring with orange gemstones. They formed a flower in the center of it. It SCREAMED Mikan and I knew from the instant I saw it, it was perfect for her.

"Excuse me, may I see that ring?" the woman smiled and pulled it out. It was even more beautiful up close.

"I would like to buy this." I said.

"I'll ring it up right now." As she was walking to the cash register she turned to me. "Gift for your girlfriend?"

I blushed, "Yeah...it's our three year anniversary." I said.

Her eyes widened, "Wow, that's so long. Congratulations."

I paid for the ring and was about to leave, when she wished me good luck. If only I didn't need it.

I need to talk to you…in person I mean


I was slightly confused, it was the night before we were scheduled to go out.

Well we're seeing each other tomorrow aren't we, you can talk to me then.


It didn't take long for her to reply.

No, Ruka I really can't wait that long. Can you meet me at my house?

I'm sorry this is such short notice


This did not sound good.

Sure. I'll be there in a half hour


This did not sound good at all. I grabbed the ring and headed out.

To erase all confusions I'm going to tell you some dates. Ruka and Mikan's anniversary is on October 3. Mikan and Hotaru's conversation were she confided her and Natsume's past was on September 30. and Sumire's conversation with Ruka took place on October 1.