Phantom Traveler Parody
Random Person: (being possessed by demon in the airport bathroom) AHHH!! It's eating my eyes!!
Stewardess: (smiling stupidly) Hi ya'll and welcome to flight 666!
Random Person: I am the passenger from HELL!!
Stewardess: Alright, you have fun with that then.
(40 minutes later Demon man gets up and heads to the back of the plane towards the door.)
Random Person: I am Mega-Man! Watch me do MEGA things!! (pulls handle and opens door, causing him to be sucked out of the plane and oxygen things to drop)
Crazy Dude: (sucking oxygen thingy hanging from ceiling) Gotta get my drugs ready. Drugs make me happy, even though I'm about to die in a SWIRLING VORTEX OF DEATH!!
Stewardess: (in a sing songy voice) Round and round and round it goes, who will die, nobody knows.
In a hotel room somewhere else, a man walks into the room and looks at the guy sleeping on one of the beds.
Sam: (whispers)I'm going to get you Dean. (in normal voice) Good morning sunshine.
Dean: (Jumps out of bed looking around wildly holding a large shiny knife) Where is he?!
Sam: Where is who?
Dean: Willy Wonka! He's out to get me!!
Sam: Dean Willy Wonka is not out to get you.
Dean: Yes he is.
Sam: You can not kill Willy Wonka with the shiny.
Dean: (pouting) But I like the shiny.
(A phone goes off somewhere in the room)
Dean: Hello? Daddy! Oh, hi Gerry, sorry about that.
Gerry: Got a little spare time? I think I might have something for you to do.
Dean: Yeah sure, we'll be there soon.
In an airport in some part of America
Sam: What are we doing here again?
Dean: Beats me, but Gerry said he had something for us to do. I just hope that Poltergeist isn't back again.
Gerry: (from behind them) No, it's worse…it's Willy Wonka!
Dean: (Screams like a little girly and hides behind Sam)
Sam: (Rolls his eyes at his older brother)
Gerry: By the way, thanks for getting rid of that poltergeist. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you and your dad.
Dean: (muttering) No, you'd be in hell…with Willy Wonka!!
Gerry: (ignoring Dean's insanity) Anyway, there was a plane crash not too long ago and I found something that I thought you guys could help with.
(Now sitting in Gerry's office)
Demon (black box recording): The Dread Pirate Roberts leaves NO survivors!!
Dean: Dude, I think someone's watched the Princess Bride too many times.
Gerry: Now for your mission information: the plane crashed 40 minutes into the flight and there were only three survivors, the pilot, a stewardess, and some random dude who was on drugs and has officially been checked into rehab.
Sam: Let's go talk to the crazy dude first, that way we can make fun of him later.
At a rehabilitation place in town
Sam: I know you were on drugs and all when the plane crashed, which we're assuming is why you survived, but did you notice anything strange?
Crazy Dude: I'm in rehab because I'm on drugs, but that man DID have black eyes.
Dean: What do you mean?
Crazy Dude: There was this man who thought he could fly….except the part where he couldn't.
Sam: If you say so dude.
Crazy Dude: You mean you believe me? What are you, nuts?
Sam: Nuts like a chicken butt.
Dean: I say we find this guys wife and hara…I mean question her.
(Suburbs about two houses down from Rehab.)
Sam: (pointing to picture on coffee table) Is that your late husband?
Woman: (shaking head) Oh no, that's my early husband…his bodies in the freezer.
Dean: (looking slightly sick) And how long were you married?
Woman: (thinking) Thirteen seconds?
Sam: Right, you just keep telling yourself that, crazy. Meanwhile we're gonna go forge some I.D.s and sneak into the warehouse with the plane pieces in it.
Outside a store wearing new suits.
Dean: (glaring at the suit he is wearing) I look like the blues brothers.
Sam: No you don't. You look like a seventh grader with a beard…except the part where you don't have a beard.
Dean: Son of a bitch.
Inside the warehouse where all the plane debris is, just before they find out there are real feds outside.
Dean: I sense a disturbance in the force…
Both look at each other before sneaking out the back and over the fence, Dean uses his suit jacket to help him climb over the fence.
Dean: Hey, these monkey suits do come in handy.
Sam: (glaring at his brother as they run away) Dean, you're a monkey.
Dean's phone starts to ring again.
Dean: Kentucky Fried chicken how may I help you? …I mean this is Dean.
Gerry: You know how I said there were three survivors?
Gerry: Well now there's only two. The pilot died in a plane crash earlier today.
Sam: What's wrong?
Dean: The pilot dude got killed today, we have to find out what's doing this.
Sam: (Pointing in the direction they came from) To the internet!!
Dean: (running down the street after his brother) But I don't know how to use the internet.
After figuring out that they are after a Demon which is now hunting down the survivors of the original crash the two brothers end up on a plane with the Stewardess who survived in the hopes of getting rid of the demon once and for all. They have found out that the demon is possessing the co-pilot and have managed to convince the Stewardess to lure him to the back so they can exorcise him. Sam is talking to Dean as they wait, trying to keep him from freaking out.
Sam: I'm possessed Dean! And I'm going to eat you, just like Willy Wonka!
Dean: Oh my freaking god I'm going to die!!
Sam: Dean, why are you so afraid of Willy Wonka?
Dean: Cause he reminds me of Michael Jackson and I am afeared.
Sam: (decides to ignore his brother's stupidity, and make sure they have everything they need) Dean, do you have the duct tape?
Dean: Yes Sam I do.
Sam: Dean, do you have the piss… I mean holy water?
Dean: Yes Sam I do.
Sam: Dean, is your fly zipped?
Dean: (annoyed) Yes Sam it…oops.
The Stewardess leads the co-pilot into the back and Sam and Dean attack him and tie him up with the duct tape.
Dean: (pouring holy water on the co-pilot's chest and watching it burn) Burn baby burn, disco inferno!!
Sam: (stops chanting in Latin for a moment to watch) Alka-Seltzer is the killer of worlds.
The man vomits a black cloudy mass that is the demon, which instantly takes control of the plane, causing it to dive. Sam drops the book he was holding with the spells in it, and Dean grabs onto the nearest thing (a door frame) and holds on for dear life as the plane plummets.
Sam: (reaching for the book as it slides away from him) I can't get the book!! The one book to rule them all.
Dean: (Screaming like a little girly)
Sam finally gets to book kills the demon and the plane lands safe and sound. Dean and Sam are now talking to Gerry one last time before they leave.
Dean: Hey Gerry, how did you get my phone number? I mean it's practically brand new, I've only had it for like six months.
Gerry: (looking confused) Your dad gave it to me.
Sam: Our dad?
Gerry: Well not exactly your dad, but it was on his voice mail.
Dean: (Picks up phone and dials his dad's number)
Message (dad): (end of message) ...andif this is Dean I just wanted you to know that I've gone to run the chocolate factory because I am in fact Willy Wonka.
Sam: That's ironic…