Author's Note: This is it. The very last chapter. Thank you all for coming along on the ride with me.
The air was warm and smelt of rosebuds. The sun gently kissed L's skin as he sat outside in the fresh, green grass. It had just sprouted, prompted to grow and reach for the sky under the warmth of the beginning of spring. The trees felt the promising warmth of the sun too, and they were blooming under its care. Colors came out of hiding, as if they had all been hibernating, just like the animals. L couldn't believe the number of rabbits there were this year. Perhaps their natural predators, the foxes and hawks had dwindled in the harshness of such a bad winter. Whatever the reason, it was nice to see wildlife around.
He currently sat underneath the largest tree in his and Light's expansive front yard. It was producing pink blossoms. He wasn't sure what type of tree it was and decided he'd need to do some research on trees. He wanted to know what the ones with white blossoms were as well. They were all very lovely this May.
L leaned his back against the strong tree trunk, letting his arms rest casually on top of his bent knees. He closed his eyes to listen to the birds. He would have to research different types of birds too. He heard so many songs, but did not know the sources of more than a few. He recognized the robin, and that of the mockingbird, but that was all. Was that short twitter to the left a cardinal? He wasn't sure, but he would learn later. For now, he would enjoy the spring day.
He heard footsteps approaching. Opening his eyes, he looked up to see Light crossing the yard, coming from the house. He was carrying the medicated lotion bottle he'd gone to fetch, along with two glasses of lemonade. L smiled just as warmly as the May sun, his dark eyes twinkling with delight.
Light smiled in return when he reached him, then sat himself down at the base of the tree beside his love. He handed him one of the glasses of lemonade, the ice in it ringing against the side of the cup. L took it, cool in his hands.
"I hope its sweet enough for you. I added twice as much sugar as what I put in mine." L didn't answer, and instead took a sip. He smiled.
"It's perfect, as always." Light glanced to L's happy face, then down to his hands and his left arm. They'd gotten medical help right away after the Kira incident, and the doctors at the secret service as always were the best. They'd done all they could, but there were still scars. They were soft and pink, and thankfully very thin and minimal due to constant care. Still, Light knew what it meant for L to have even more scars on his body. No one knew about the ones on the soles of his feet, for they were in a place no one could see, but having scars on his arms and hands was an entirely different matter. L couldn't hide his hands. And everyone in town had already seen the injuries back when they were fresh.
There had been no better explanation than the most obvious. After all, Katie and Byte had seen L's condition right before it had happened. They'd had no choice but to tell the towns people that L had a manic episode and then tried to kill himself. It was the most believable tale.
It hurt Light a little bit to create such a lie, since L, despite everything he'd suffered in his lifetime, had never been suicidal. He was stronger than that. He respected himself more than that. But there really wasn't any other story they could have weaved. The secret service, Jackie, James and Quil had agreed. And so did L, with what Light thought to be much too relative of ease. Still…L seemed ok with the results.
The town's people still remained friends with the couple, and they still treated them just as they had before. Although, Light supposed that having the doctor from the secret service assure people that L was ok if he stayed on medication probably had something to do with it. Of course there wasn't any mediation, but it was needed as part of their story.
L suddenly lifted his gaze away from the beauty springing up in their yard and to his love's face. He smiled brightly.
"Oh Raito, I'm fine. Really. I can tell by your face what you're thinking about, and as I've said countless times before, it's not a big deal. It…was actually a bit of a relief, to have a story like this." He turned his gaze back away and instead toward one of the rabbits feeding off the fresh shoots off in the distance.
"I've been too afraid to talk to people in this town about myself and my past before. I was afraid of revealing our identities. But…with a story like this…it gives me the opportunity to be truthful. I can…share the darkness of my past, and people aren't surprised or judgmental, because they expect it after this incident. They know I went through something…or why else would I be suicidal?" L looked back to his partner only to see a grimace. Light didn't like to hear L talk like that. Because it wasn't true. L smiled yet again. He reached out his arm and gently rested his palm on Light's shoulder. He tenderly ran his scarred palm up and down his upper arm, comfortingly.
"Really, Raito, I'm fine. I'm free to share what I want with whoever I want. I've been wanting to open up to Katie for so long…it's been such a relief to have finally told her about my parents…and the orphanages."
Light seemed to relax a little bit then. L truly did seem happy about the developments. And at least Light knew the truth. L was healthy, both mentally and physically. That was what was important, right? And besides, the doctor said the scars would continue to shrink with daily treatment. They were already so much smaller. They'd been lucky. Because Kira had used a razor, the cuts had been fine, small, and clean. They'd healed so miraculously.
Light gripped the bottle of medicated lotion he'd brought out with him.
"Here, let me apply your lotion again." L's smile only grew. He could do it himself, but he allowed Raito to almost every day. He enjoyed it and it made him feel as if he were helping in the healing process.
"Ok." L held out his left arm, resting it on his kneecap. Light then squirt the medicated ointment into his palms. It had a bit of a tinged smell to it, but both men had gotten rather used to it. Carefully and as gently as always, he began to smear the cream on. It didn't hurt anymore. The cream was only to reduce the size of the scars.
"Jackie and James are coming over for dinner tonight, along with Katie and Byte."
"I know," L replied. They'd planned this dinner party for the past week. It would be nice to finally have all six of them together. Jackie and James had never officially met Katie and Byte, who were still together and going strong as a couple. L would have never guessed that they would meet and make so many good friends. It filled him with joy.
"Tonight's going to be so much fun." Light smiled as he worked his fingers tenderly across L's skin.
"Yeah." And the real great thing about it all, was that Quil didn't seem to be so much of a distant figure anymore. After the entire Kira incident, Quil had definitely felt more of a connection to his old charge. Or at least L assumed. There really was no other explanation for him to set up a branch of new Whammy's houses in America. L knew it was an excuse. And excuse to repeatedly travel from Europe to America. And every time he was in the county, he found a way to visit without anyone realizing he was at Light and L's house instead of at his new orphanage.
L had been delighted at the development. He'd never had Quil in his life before. And now, suddenly, when he was older and he'd thought it to be too late, here he was. L had almost cried when Quil had told him the news. Because he realized then, once he heard, that it wasn't too late. It was never too late. There was always time to rebuild a relationship. There was always time to mend severed ties. And with the new and frequent visits, L and Quil had been doing just that.
He almost felt like…he had a family. Light and Quil were his family. And Katie, Byte, James and Jackie were his very good friends. L now possessed things that he never dreamed he could possess in all his life. He had people who cared about him. And what was more, was that he cared back. He loved them. All of them. And he could not begin to even believe how happy he truly was. Life had become a dream. And after suffering such nightmares, a dream seemed almost unreal.
He lifted his gaze then to Light, the man who had started it all with a notebook. L watched his face as he worked, a look of deep concentration etched in his features as he tried to cover every nook and cranny of L's arm. He was clearly very focused on what should have been an easy task.
L's heart glowed. He felt it lift, as if it had wings and could fly up and away out of his throat. Light seemed like the biggest dream of all. His soft, silky, smooth, caramel hair. His gentle and sometimes teasing eyes. His strong, yet tender arms. And of course, the affection he showed him each and every day; just like now, in this moment. He was so concerned for L's scars. For a brief second, L was afraid. Afraid that it wasn't real. It was so perfect. Too perfect. And life was never perfect. Afraid that Light was some sort of dream or hallucination, no matter how ridiculous the notion, L knew what he needed to have it proven true.
"Raito," he whispered suddenly. "Kiss me?" Light stopped what he was doing and lifted his almost eyes to his partners. He gazed into that face, that sweet, smooth face. He recognized L's expression right away. He was happy. And he was in love. And he was also longing for physical proof of their bond. Not just with Light, but with the world around him. And he needed Light. He needed Light to feel it all with him.
"Hold me?" L said next, his dark eyes shining. Light saw that it was important that he do as L asked right away. He had that look about him, the one that told him he desperately needed Light's affections. Light's heart melted. He would never get used to such a face. He reached out a gentle hand, carefully brushing his fingers against L's pale cheek.
"Of course, anata." Light reached out, wrapping his arms around L's small form. At first he held him gently, but when L returned the hug with a strong fierceness, Light increased his grip. L needed to feel his strength. Holding him tightly now, Light could feel his heart pound in his chest. And he could feel L's too. Both hearts beat together. And just when Light thought it couldn't get any more romantic, L blurted suddenly,
"Don't you dare let go Light Yagami!" Light let out a snort. That was his Lawli alright; making demands in the middle of romance. Light's eyes crinkled closed with delight. He would have never had L any other way.
"I won't let go," he said. "And in fact, I think I still owe you a kiss." He lifted one arm away from L's back so that he could bring it forward. Tenderly, as with great love and care, he lifted L's chin to make him look at him. And look L did, his dark eyes as absorbent as ever. As always, they reached depths of Light's soul he hadn't even known he had. It was then that Light leaned in and gently let his lips caress L's, in the same way the warm sun caressed their skin.
Above them in the trees, the flowers bloomed.
Ok boys and girls, that's it. That's the end. A year and a half worth of work. Can you believe I started Jealousy in October of 2008? It's been a long, hard, bumpy road hasn't it? I know I, myself, have been through hell and back in my personal life. I wonder how much you readers have gone through as individuals too. So much happens in a year and a few months.
To put you all at ease, incase you were wondering, things are much better for me now. My dad has had surgery, and it seems he's going to be ok. I'm still struggling a bit financially, but I just got a raise at work, so that should cease shortly in about a month or so. My girlfriend is more awesome than ever before and our relationship is strong. And I'm also very inspired to do another story (not Death Note guys, sorry. I'm taking a stab at a real novel this time.) If things go as planned, the novel should be out in 2011 sometime. I'll definitely make a posting about it on fanfiction when it gets published, so all of you, who've marked me as your favorite author, will know all about it in about a year or so.
Oi! So, onto a few thoughts of mine before I give you my sources: this fanfiction was tough to write! Oh baby, you better believe it! It started off easily enough, but before I knew it, I had characters coming out of the walls! And not just any characters, important characters! With back stories and emotions and wants and desires! I never planned on having James and Jackie in the story at all. I immediately fell in love with both of them. The moment they made their appearance. What great characters! (And I mean characters as in personality, not characters as in I'm tooting my own horn.)
I had back stories all ready for both of them, but the opportunity for me to either go into a flashback or have one of them open up verbally never occurred. It's a shame really, because it helped me to understand both of them so much better once those back stories were created.
In any case, Katie and Byte both grew on my in the same exact way.
Another huge part of this story was the religious aspect of it. I know a lot of people didn't like that it went in such a direction. But I won't apologize. Here's why:
I decided to involve Kira.
Kira, as established in the story, was a demon.
The very second I introduced a demon to this story, it became supernatural and spiritual all at once. You cannot have a supernatural being in a story and say it's not religious in some way. Demons, no matter what race or country a person may be from, are considered supernatural. The moment you cross that line, there is no going back.
From that point on, I did what I always do when I write: I let the characters do what they want. I also wrote down what the plot or storyline called for. And in this case, I had characters who were trying to combat a demon. There's really only one way to do that. Even horror films agree. Satanists agree. Both sides, good and evil agree on this method of combating demons. You fight them with good, right? So then of course I had to include God in my story as well.
I'm not sorry if that upset some of you.
What surprised me the most was that I posted the chapter about Kira possessing L, violently, and horribly first. I got no complaints about this chapter from anyone. I even posted a warning and upped my rating to "T" because of that chapter. But in the next chapter, I ever so casually mentioned the Bible, and suddenly everyone's freaking out and I'm receiving hate mail.
I didn't really understand it. You can't have one without the other. If I had tried to do so, it would have been terrible, disastrous writing. If I had evil in my story but no good to balance it out, well, then story would be over wouldn't it? Evil wins, the end. Of course I included God. The story would have had no conflict without Him. L and Light, being mere mortals, would have had no hope against a demon.
(And before you try to argue that they did just fine in Death Note, reconsider your position. They both died in Death Note.)
In any case, I'm sure I stirred up enough trouble with these few short paragraphs alone. I just wanted to explain briefly the position I was put in because I'd decided to remain utterly silent about it while I was writing those chapters. You'll notice that there were no author's notes at the top of the chapters for many of them. I wanted everyone to believe what they wanted. I didn't want my opinions getting in the way of your reading.
Let's wrap this up. I'm sure I'll be getting letters I don't particularly like after these notes anyway.
I promised you a list of sources. Believe what you want, but I'm not a religious expert by any means. I researched countless religions, trying to get a basic understanding of what each of the major religions believed. It was entirely fascinating. I'd never bothered to look such a thing up before and I very much enjoyed the reading.
I'm a firm believer in expanding your horizons and learning new things, especially when it comes to other cultures and countries. I learned quite a lot writing this fanfiction and if anyone's interested, here are my sources below.
Websites: (All web addresses have obvious spaces in them because fanfiction,net blocks them if you type out an entire address. So please use your brains to close the gaps to create the actual addresses for these websites. Thanks)
http : // www . adherents . com / Religions_By_Adherents . html
This website has a list and a whole bunch of graphs on the population of the planet and what percentage of people believe in which religion. The list is as follows:
Christianity: 2.1 billion 33%
Islam: 1.5 billion 21%
Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist: 1.1 billion 16%
Hinduism: 900 million 14%
Chinese traditional religion: 394 million 6%
Buddhism: 376 million 5%
primal-indigenous: 300 million 5%
African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
Sikhism: 23 million .36%
Juche: 19 million
Spiritism: 15 million
Judaism: 14 million .22%
Baha'i: 7 million
Jainism: 4.2 million
Shinto: 4 million
Cao Dai: 4 million
Zoroastrianism: 2.6 million
Tenrikyo: 2 million
Neo-Paganism: 1 million
Unitarian-Universalism: 800 thousand
Rastafarianism: 600 thousand
Scientology: 500 thousand
Wikipedia was also a tremendous help for me. It simplifies all of the world's major religions into something readable in one sitting. I didn't have time to read a text book on each one after all.
Here's a great site on Buddhism.
http : // www . buddhamind . info / leftside / sumaries / q – a / thought – is . htm
http : // www . religionfacts . com / chinese_religion / beliefs / spirits . htm
http : // exploringafrica . matrix . msu . edu / students / curriculum / m14 / activity2 . php
This is a link to tons of information about amulets and other objects and their uses against evils in a variety of different religions.
http : // www . answering – islam . org / Books / Zwemer / Animism / chapt10 . htm
I also did research on some psychological disorders, especially those believed to make people think their loved ones were being possessed by demons back in olden days. Sadly…I've mis-located the links for that one.
Lastly, I have three books to recommend. Now, all three are revolved around Christianity, because as I'm sure you've noticed in the story, there was a point where L and Light decided that would be the best plan of action. Once that was the route the story was going in, I stopped researching other religions. (Christianity is the most popular religion in America, that's a big reason I went with it.)
Anywho, here's the books:
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.
Awesome. It gives you the perspective of a demon who's trying to win over a human beings soul. It helped me understand Kira so much better after reading it. Really. You have no idea how much I struggled with Kira's character because he wasn't human. I highly recommend it for anyone.
I also read Mere Christianity again by C.S. Lewis. I admit I didn't finish this book. The first half was very good. It gives a good understanding of Christianity and how it works. But half way through it starts getting into the nitty-gritty details of what a lot of people argue about and disagree on. It can be controversial, since C.S. Lewis touches on a lot of subjects people in this current time period are fighting over, like gays and their place in religion. You should have a strong constitution for this one.
Lastly, I read The Original Bible by Randall Price.
This one is about only physical evidence of the Bible. Like, where it came from, what documentation we have of the original scrolls or stone tablets it's written on, who wrote in it, when, why, etc. It was really cool, because it takes the entire thing from a very scientific approach. They give you hard evidence and facts of where these stories in the bible came from.
Sadly, I didn't finish reading this one either. I forsook it for The Screwtape Letters. But it's really awesome so far, and I highly recommend it for you scientific minds out there.
Ah, well, that's all. Really, that's the end. I have little else to say except that I really hope you all enjoyed the read and I hope it made some sort of a difference in your lives. I firmly believe that writing is a powerful thing. I love reading and words on a screen. Human beings can do so much, create so much with words. But ah, I'll go off on a tangent if I continue here, so I'll have to stop.
I wish you all a very happy 2010. And I sincerely hope that you are able to accomplish the goals you've set out for yourself. Go, grow, and never stop learning and reading.
I miss you all already.