Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Sometimes I want to slap him for the way he treats me. Not that he treats me badly. No, that's not it. Take today for example. We were being chased by a bunch of aliens, I forget what species they were. But I was scared and yelling at them and an 'F' word slipped out. The way he looked at me then. I felt ashamed. But not just ashamed. Angry too. Angry at him for making me ashamed, for acting like he had the right to give me that look. I was angry at Them. For going away and leaving me here. I miss Them so much. I suppose he thinks I blame him. But I don't. He's too busy blaming himself to notice. It wasn't his fault. He thinks everything is. Really. Everything that goes wrong, everytime people go away because of it. I know he's not to blame. But he doesn't. So he tries to make up for it. By taking Their responsibility.
The way he treats me drives me mad. I've already got two brothers treating me that way. But with him it's my fault. I told him about Them. And about what happened to make Them go away and leave me. I want Them back. I want Them back. It's not fair, not fair.
I remember when he asked about Them. He didn't know. It was just a simple question. Won't They worry? And I had to tell him They wouldn't. Because They left me, left us. They went away. I want Them back so badly. When I answered him I saw it. It was something I didn't expect. I've seen a lot of pity. I was shocked when I saw the Guilt. It didn't take long to find out why it was there. It wasn't his fault. He didn't make Them go away. But he thinks it's his fault. And after that question he started treating me like this. Correcting me all the time. Telling me to mind my manners. He's not supposed to be doing that. They are. Why aren't they? I want Them back...please...
He cooks for me. I've talked to Others. Others who've been with him. He never treated the Others the way he treats me. He never cooked for them. But he cooks dinner for me. Because They used to. Now They're not here. So he does it instead. I wish he wouldn't. But he'd be so hurt if I told him not to. He'd blame himself even more. I look at him and I want to scream. To hit him. I want to yell at him to go back and stop Them from leaving me, leaving us, the way They did. Not because I blame him. I don't. I just want Them back.
But I can't. Because I screamed at him. Just once. But I saw his face when I stopped. And for so long I couldn't bear to look at him. I was so... ashamed. So now I scream when I'm sure he can't hear. Scream for Them. To come back. Come back, come back, please come back...
I'm 18 now. An adult. He shouldn't be allowed to correct me now. You can't correct an adult. Only They should be allowed to tell me when I'm being rude. But They're not here. I want Them to come back. I want Them back right now. I want him to stop hugging me the way he does when I cry. He doesn't hug me like a friend. He does it the way They used to. It used to make me feel like everything would be alright. Now it just reminds me that They left me. That I'm angry at Them. How could They leave me? It's not fair, not fair, not fair...please... come back, come back...please...
But I know They can't. That just makes me angrier. How could They be so careless, so stupid? I thought They never made mistakes. How could They leave, how could They? I'm with him now and I love this life, I do. But I've talked to the Others. And none of my stories compare to theirs. I know why. He's protecting me, in a way he never did the Others. Because he can't see me the way he sees the Others. He sees me as They saw me. I wish he didn't. Because I hate it when he acts like he's one of Them. I hate it. But I love him for it too. Because I miss Them. And my brothers aren't much older than me, they can't be like Them. Not when I remember them learning to spell in school. He can be like Them. Because he is so old. And then when we're safe he can be my best friend again. Because he acts so young.
I am Sam. I am a girl. I am 18 years old. I lost my parents the day the Cybermen came. And I wish the Doctor would stop trying to be my father.
Um...yeah.. so...read and review please.