Disclaimer: I don't own anything…

Shipping: Chuck and Blair

Summary: Blair is trying hard to deny what's been happening between her and Chuck, but he won't let her forget.

A/N: The story takes place after 17 candles and it's basically about one of the rendezvous Chuck and Blair had before Hi Society. It's from Blair's POV, kinda written like a string of thoughts which is why it might seem a bit rushed. Anyway, it's my first time reading smut, so bare with me!The story hasn't been beta'd by anyone but me, so I apologize for any spelling og grammar mistakes. Enjoy, and please, please, please, review when you're done. It makes me so happy.


Pretending

I don't like the way he looks at me. Half smirk and half something else that I can't quite put my finger on, but it's disturbing and I don't like it! I feel like he's imagening me naked, which, thinking about it, he probably is.

He is a Bass after all. But I'm a Waldorf and Waldorfs aren't supposed to blush and feel uncomfortable and yet that's exactly what happens; I blush and I try to escape his gaze but I notice that his smirk just grows wider and the fact that he doesn't say or do anything makes me even more uncomfortable.

The good thing is he's apparetnly not going to say anything to anyone about what happened which suits me well, because I'm pretending it never did!

I'm pretending that I didn't loose my virginity in the back of his limo, pretending that we didn't do anything out of the ordinary at my 17th birthday party and pretending that I definetly did not wake up cuddled against him at 8 o'clock the next morning, because obviously Chuck Bass doesn't cuddle with anyone… and I don't cuddle with scotch-drinking, womanizing bastards!

All these thoughts are running through my head and I'm startled when I almost bump into Nate because I'm in such a hurry to get inside the school, away from his prying eyes.

Nate smiles at me and I smile back because even though I'm supposed to be mad at him I just don't have the energy and I do feel slightly guilty about all the things I definetly did not do with his best friend.

I brush him off and leave him confused (when is he never?) and I feel relief when I take my seat in class because I don't have to worry about either boy for the next couple of hours.

But I really should know better because clearly The Civil War does not make me forget his eyes… or his hands… or his lips, and Oh my God, I'm having sex fantasies in class!! Except fantasies are supposed to stay in your head, right?

And the once in my head actually happened! I excuse myself to go to the bathroom because I feel a sudden urge to vomit, but I can't really go through with it.

Instead I just stare into the mirror willing myself to forget, but the movie in my head has been broken and I can't just press play anymore. Reality has ruined my sweet future dreams and my prince charming has been possesed by a scarf-wearing monster that apparently I can't defeat.

I force myself to think about my dad and Roman and it effectively puts an end to the pornographic images in my head.

I decide that I hate sex and that I'm not having it again until I'm married but this leaves me all depressed because it wasn't really that awful and I'm right back where I started, thinking about his hands on my back, his lips on my neck, kissing, sucking, and I blush all over again and decide to skip the rest of my classes because obviously I'm not feeling too good.

But I never make it to the front doors.

As I walk quickly down the corridor, hoping that no one will notice that I'm leaving, a strong hand closes around my wrist and pulls me into a suply closet and I don't even have time to protest before his lips crash down on mine and I'm pressed against the closed door.

And I swear I've never been kissed like this (and yes, I do realise that I don't really have a lot to compare it to, but I know, I just know that this is as good as it gets.)

I moan against him as his tongue plunges into my mouth making my knees go week. Then he stops and I'm forced back to reality.

I want to keep doing what we're doing but he has a weird expression on his face and all of the sudden his hands are cupping my face, his thumbs drawing slow circles on my cheeks.

I'm taken aback because it's so unexpected and so not like him, and I don't know what to do with myself so I blush... again. (I seem to have been doing that a lot lately).

"I thought you had class," he whispers while he leans in and starts kissing a spot behind my ear and I have to fight hard to keep focused and keep breathing normally.

"and I thought this was the girls hall" I manage to say as his mouth trail kisses and lovebites down my neck to my shoulder. "Hasn't stopped me before" he mumbles and I ignore the voice in my head that tells me that he's probably been in here before doing this to some random skank.

I press myself closer to him and drag his mouth back to mine because despite all my rational thoughts I don't like the idea of him with someone, anyone, else.

And I definetly don't like that I'm feeling possesive all of the sudden, so I just focus on kissing him and I feel like I could do this for the rest of my life.

His hands are warm against my skin and I'm loosening his tie and his shirt buttons because I feel like I'll die if I can't touch him.

We're both frantic now, my breathing is out of control, and I am trying to remember why I'm wearing tights, because right now I hate them, and apparently he agrees. He's pulling them down and it feels better already.

His shirt is open and I trace my hands up and down his chest and the pressure between my legs is getting stronger and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

And apparently his with me because I can feel him hard against my thigh and I can't wait anylonger so I undo his pants and pull them down and I'm ready and needy, but he grabs my wrists before I can do anything.

"Not so fast" he whispers, and he kisses me, agonisingly slowy, as he unwraps a condom, and for a short second I'm freaked out, because I wasn't even thinking about protection. But then his back and he's lifting me from the floor.

I wrap my legs around his waist as he sinks into me, and thats when he looks at me. Just like he did in the limo and at my birthdayparty.

He looks at me with dark eyes and he waits for me to make the next move. It makes me feel safe and warm and I lean in to kiss him softly, 'cause I need him to know that I want this, need this and I feel like I could stay like this forever.

His body is pressing me against the door, his left hand supporting my weight as he thrusts in and out slowly at first, but he picks up the pace and I feel warm, electric impulses shooting through my body and I'm thinking that this must be better than any drug you can buy.

Its messy and dirty and sexy as hell, and I don't know why I haven't done it before. Why we haven't done it before.

My hands cling to his back, nails digging into his skin as I feel my orgasme take over my body I can hear myself moaning, swearing against him. I hold on to him when he comes pounding deep into me a few more times before his body relaxes against me.

I can feel the world returning around me, but I keep my eyes shut and my head burried in the crook of his neck because he smells good and I'm not sure I want to go back to reality just yet.

"You ok?" he whispers against my ear and his voice is husky and warm and so familiar and I don't know why I never noticed his voice before. I nod my head and look up at him.

We're still pressed together against the door and his still inside me and I feel very selfconcious all of the sudden. I unwrap my legs and he gently puts me down on the floor and my legs feel all wobly.

I feel myself blushing for God knows what time today, because my skirt is pushed up and my bra is exposed and I'm pretty sure my hair looks like a birdsnest, but the way he looks at me…

"You're gorgeous" he says, and there's so much adoration in his voice that I can't not believe him so I kiss him and he smirks and this time he doesn't have to imaging me without clothes on.

I pull on my tights and try to smooth out my wrinkled uniform but it's no good. He looks good, though. Really good, with his hair all messed up, his shirt untucked and his tie hanging loose around his neck. Apparently his not going to do anything about his appearance because he just watches me dress.

He opens the door and pops out his head to check if there's anyone out there, but of course there isn't, because we're supposed to be in class. I step out in to the hall and we make our way towards the double doors. "I look like a mess" I say because I do.

"No you don't" he says as he wraps his arms around me from behind.

"You look like you've just been fucked" he whispers huskily into my ear and I turn around abruptly and swat him on the arm because he shouldn't talk like that.

But I can't help smiling at his expression because he looks at me like he want to do it again, right here, right now.

I tell him to shut up and he laughs and opens the doors for me. "I'll give you a ride home" he says, and I know it's a waist of time to tell him I can walk home because apparently, when it comes to him, I end up doing what he says anyway, no matter how much I try not to.

No matter how much I pretend we're still just friends I know we'll never be like that again, and I'm not sure it such a bad thing after all.


A/N: To anyone who has been reading erase/rewind, just know that I havent forgotten or abandoned the story, I'm just kinda stuck in the middle of the 4th chapter and I'm struggeling to find a way to end it, so please be patient...