As I sat and watched her sleep I wallowed in my self loathing

When Edward left Bella she wasn't the only one to suffer. We all know how he likes to torture himself with the idea of being the most loathsome creature on the face of the Earth, but Edward finds peace once more with his true love.

Disclaimer: I don't own Matt Bellamy, nor his incredible piano-playing skills. Neither do I own Twilight et al (damn). I do, however, own my Obsessive Cullen Disorder and some wavy dark brown hair that Edward is welcome to snuggle into anytime. Oh, and a dog with far better manners than Jacob Black ;oD

Pretty please, R&R, tell me if you think this is utterly cheesy or not and then, if you'll be so kind, have a look at my first fanfic "Blackness". It's very short, but not terribly sweet!


As I sat in the rocking chair in her small room and watched her sleep I wallowed in my self loathing. How could I have left my angel in the first place? Ripped her wings from her body and left her floundering in the darkness? How could I have walked away when it meant leaving half of me behind?

She shuddered as she lay there, her hair sprayed out across her pillow. "Edward," she muttered, "too late, too late!" Her face was contorted in pain. There was no doubt what she was dreaming about. What if she had been too late? What if I had not only left her in the dark, but crushed her beneath my feet too, broken, bloodied and torn? A sob escaped my chest. For the first time in my 106 year life I was overwhelmed by my emotions. I sat convulsed as I let sob after sob rip from my weary body.

And then she spoke again, "Edward, I love you." I took a deep breath, drinking in her glorious scent and held it until my dry sobs ceased, allowing it to burn my throat, reminding me where I was. It was no good pitying myself, allowing the shame to consume me. My beautiful, fragile angel needed to be mended and I was the only one who could do that for her. Or so I hoped.

Another horrified thought seized me – what if she had found someone else to rebuild her, to help her fly again? Well, if she had, then so be it. It would only be what I deserved; a fair punishment for torturing this divine creature. Despite the torture I had inflicted on both of us, it would have achieved what I had set out to do – freed her from her need for me, given her back the opportunity to have a normal, human life, to be a mother, to grow old and to die. I could cope with this, keeping my distance, watching her from afar, knowing her human joys and sorrows until the end of her earthly life. Once it was over I could then return to Italy and end my days too, knowing true peace at last.

I shook my head. Did I really believe I was that noble? I was deluding myself. This selfish creature could never settle for watching from afar. I had had murderous thoughts just hearing what those boys at school, Mike, Tyler, Eric, were thinking about my Bella. My Bella!And that was before I even allowed myself to think that one day there might be something between us. To watch another man catch her when she fell, father her children. I could not bear such a thought. I gasped at the pain I suddenly felt, right where my heart should be.

I would have to wait until she awoke, to find out if she still wanted me. I prayed it were so, just for a moment reaching out to a God I wasn't sure even existed. Surely he would hear me, not for me, but for this pure creature I loved so utterly.

A movement on the bed pulled me from my reverie. "Edward, don't leave me!" Her voice was strangled, desperate. I knew my prayer was answered. All she needed to do now was ask. And she was simply asking for the one thing that I so desperately wanted to give. I would never ever leave her again. Not while she was breathing.

She clutched her fragile arms around her chest, as if she were trying to hold herself together. "Edward," she breathed. I was across the room before my name died on her lips. I lay down, curving my cold, marble body around her, wrapping my arms over hers. She sighed, curving herself tighter into my embrace, her arms relaxing. A faint smile on her lips as she declared her love for me once again.

The healing had begun. Whatever I had done to her, I would do everything I could to repair. If I wanted to punish myself, I had to keep my thoughts hidden from her.

A tune started to roll around my head, the words seeming to fit so well...

Hopelessly, I'll love you endlessly.
Hopelessly I'll give you everything,
but I won't give you up,
I won't let you down,
and I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

A melancholic melody for my angel. No, Isabella Swan, whatever happens I would never let her down again. I would help my beautiful angel to fly for as long as she asked me to.

I sank my face into her beautiful, chestnut hair, breathing the scent in slowly and felt my pain drift away, finally leaving me in true peace, not in oblivion, but here, with this angelic creature who loved me more than life itself.