I really don't know if this has been done before, but I saw a rerun of this Touched by an Angel episode and just had this idea I had to write about it. How different would the episode have been if something or someone had changed? I don't own Touched by an Angel or any of its affiliated characters.


The bombing of that building before her eyes had devastated Monica's heart. All that death, true they were all going home to the Father. Yet, the suffering, the pain that humans inflicted upon each other she couldn't understand it at all; especially when God's unconditional love was available for them to experience. She had walked away from her assignment of showing this 'new-born' angel Gloria the ropes, so to speak. How could she help Gloria learn how to use her heart, when hers was breaking so… she walked away from her assignment, from God's will. God always had a plan, she knew this, she had always known, yet that did not lessen the heart break. Now, she had found her way to the desert with a little 'help,' she needed to be alone to think.
She was an Angel on the brink. Had the Father forsaken her? No, she put herself from his face, she knew that. She'd find her way back.

How did she get here… to this place?

She didn't know how long she had walked down the road, she had lost all sense of time, time is not as relevant to God or to Angels as it is to humans.
All she did know is that she was tired emotionally and physically, in this form.

A car slowed down beside her,

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to the desert." She replied.

he responded, "Let me take you there, at least…"

She said, "I want to be alone."

And she did, she thought the car would move on, until the driver addressed her by name,

"Monica, get in the car. You know you want to. You're tired anyway. Are you going to go the whole forty days and forty nights,
or should we cut to the chase?"

She stopped in her tracks and finally looked at him,

"I've spent my whole existence trying to avoid you. Why would I ride with you now?"

he replied as he opened the car door, "Because you know it's time."

She said as she got in the passenger seat, "I suppose I do."

"Humans don't understand love. Not really." She explained exasperated and confused.

he replied, "You do? Of course you do. Do you think you could do it better? Would you waste it?"

Then she was some place else… some time else… she didn't know where.

"What's this?" Monica questioned.

"It's the life you could have, Monica. It's a short one, but that doesn't make it any less sweet. Humans love in a way, angels never could." he explained.

Monica looked at the vision before her:

The most vibrant green grass, purple flowers growing around, a bright white house, and two beautiful kids playing in the yard,
a creek flowing through the yard. What could this mean?

She turned back to him, a questioning expression still upon her face…

he told her, "Look… at what's before you. I could give you this. Keep looking."

Then she saw it, she saw herself with child, with life inside of her…

She instinctively grabbed her stomach, as she said… "I always wondered what it would be like to be a mother."

he replied, "Angels can't do that. Carry life. Kids are great. You watch them grow up, they give you grief but that's life."

She looked back at the ethereal scene before her…

The children, the girl with red hair and deep blue eyes, the boy with brown- blonde hair and shining brown eyes. She saw the resemblance of
her in the girl… and the boy … she wasn't so sure. She supposed he must resemble his father.

She heard the other her say, "Kids... Tess, A.J., I need you to go inside soon and wash up for dinner."

Then she heard a comforting voice, "Angel girl, you look more beautiful every time I see you."

She looked on and her breath almost caught in her throat at the sight of a familiar face,

The voice continued, "Andrew Jr., you heard your mother… Tess you too."

Monica gasped, "He has his father's name…"

he replied, "Yes, the boy does. That's normal… humans like to be remembered. Fathers often pass their names onto their sons."

Monica whispered, "Andrew…"

She watched as he came towards the other her, he put his hand on her belly and held her closer to him…
Monica noticed the shining gold band on his left hand.

The other Monica, her but not her, breathed in a deep breath and said, "I love the smell of lilacs."

"Only you could make them grow… like this." Andrew smiled.

The other Monica mused, "They bloom for such a short season, which makes the fragrance all the sweeter."

Andrew beamed with pride as he said, "I married an Irish poet."

The other her smiled back, she turned towards her 'husband' and he gave her a kiss. A deep, loving kiss one which seemed to
take the breath away from them both. Then, they parted.

Andrew commented, looking at his wife and children he smiled more, "This must be heaven, because it doesn't get much better than this.
This right here is heaven on Earth."

Monica viewed the scene as it disappeared from her, she gingerly placed her fingers upon her lips, it was almost as if she could really feel
Andrew's lingering kiss. Suddenly, she felt a pang of unexplainable longing which she had never known before.

he said to her, "I know what you're feeling Monica, even if you don't."

To that, Monica replied, "You know then… what I'm feeling in my heart."

he responded knowingly, "Yes, you feel love in your heart for him."

Monica responded, "What would you know of love? You, who perpetrates lust in the human heart."

he replied, "I'm not all bad. You remember don't you… how I was before the fall from grace?"

She answered, "Yes, I remember. I know who you were Lucifer. And I know who I am.
I belong to God, I am His Angel."

he said, "Then you know, that this is forbidden. I deal in the forbidden. I know what it's like to be an angel, to be in His good graces.
Yet, he won't let you feel this kind of love."

Monica replied, "If this is love as you say, then He above all would know… He would understand."

he questioned, "Are you so sure? Can you take that risk?"

Monica stated, "God is love. Perhaps that was your true downfall, you forgot who
He was, is, and always will be."