Disclaimer: Katsura Hoshino, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, VIZ Media, and Funimation are entitled to the rights of the series D.Gray-Man. I, however, am just a teenager who wishes to be apart of the world created by K. Hoshino's brilliance. Therefore, I do not own this.

No Lullabies for Mellon Collie Tonight, Only the Requiems of a Broken Heart

I'm only a teenager waiting in the distance to be seventeen years old. Lazily I sit on a rickety office-style swivel chair. Nothing moved but the flickering from the blank document page. The whole day wasted away consuming globules and globules of Wonka's Everlasting Gobstoppers as flavors change from a jawbreaking, shiny green to a corroding orb of tart orange like Tropicana's Florida Sunrise. Almost into a sugar high, daze upon the emptiness of a once-spring of creativity… Dazing with emerald eyes glazed with midsummer somnolence, waiting to close for once into an early slumber. Hearing nothing but candy rasping against a sunny yellow cardboard box and the nighttime breeze caress the crisp leaves and grotesquely emaciated branches of a tree not so far from the apartment unit, what was once an uninspired, tired poet… He was no more when the rain, the starlight's innocent tears, came flittering down. Showering him, rejuvenating his very core, he found a way to make blank paper come to life once more.

"Once, there was someone who captured my very being… You made me believe Heaven existed whenever I get to hold your hands."


The Silent Midnight Rain Burns Me With Stinging Loneliness.

Hearing the raindrops fall rhythmically on a nearby gutter, the nighttime's grace adds a melancholic sense in the environment I am in. Plit, plat, plit, plit, plat, plit, the rain fell as it fills my ears with the sounds of silence. Autumn finally arrived with its rouge leaves and golden foliage, accompanied by the midnight showers in the indigo twilight. As I sit just inches from my window, I stare at the brick wall that is a fixture across from my apartment; and I take a glance back to the computer screen and begin to type. Thoughts and emotions begin to flow in, slowly releasing my creativity into what was once a blank sheet on the screen. And it suddenly occurred to me that I was just writing about what's happening right now. I ceased my fingers from flying from a key to another, and meditated. Maybe this is how my life would be if you did not exist; I'd be lost and dazed, writing something senseless and call it "The Silent Midnight Rain". Or maybe, just maybe…

Am I thinking of him again? Rats, I don't know if this should occur to me that all that I'm writing about is about subconsciously writhing in a dilemma that I personally can't solve. Damn him! Why'd he get me into the spinning vortex with him?! Why did it have to be him?

"You turn away with an absentminded smile on your face. It brings me shivers when you remember to look back at me and take my hand…"


Confined On My Bed on a Maple Autumn: Waking Up To the Sound of Rain

The warmth of my body is encased in layers and layers of comforters and woolen blankets. Right in front of me, the one thing I'd see is not the bathroom door open… nor the cold white wall that separates me from the world outside my room, but your familiar smile. A smile that beckons thirteen black cats into behaving well. And the only running thought that comes to my mind is only the thought that I will not leave this bed until you get in here with me and lie down staring at each other until I fall asleep again (or probably how a smile like yours could do such a feat). Next to you. Yes, fall asleep right next to you after senseless seconds of staring at the face I fell in love with, with our hands clasp tight… Sappy, huh? I'm a serious sucker for that. However, I'd like it better if you hold me close to you when I doze off to the sound of the room's silence and to the moving hands of time, slowly ticking to the point I feel it stops.

However, I believe I wake to the sound of the six in the evening, the autumnal shower of October, without you in my sight. It's probably because I'm completely unaware that I never told you that…

"I love you."

"I leave my fears behind
'Cause tonight I'll be right at your side
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go, never let go…
… But still I see the tears from your eyes
Maybe I'm just not the one for you."

-Hale, from an excerpt of their song "Broken Sonnet"

Author's note: Basically, the pattern for this series of soliloquies begin from Lavi, Kanda, and lastly, Lavi. This is based from my failed memoir, like mentioned in my DeviantArt journal (reihiko./journal/19996584/). Yes, here we go with the explanation.

For No Lullabies For Mellon Collie Tonight...:

It's basically an AU about a sixteen year-old Lavi writing about how he doesn't have a muse. He ponders about all the times he spent with Kanda. I really don't know what else is there. Oh, Lavi just realized that Kanda might be the muse he's looking for... I think. This is named after my failed "Lullaby of Requiem" series and Smashing Pumpkins's album "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness." The last line was from Lavi's P.O.V.

For The Silent Midnight Rain...:

Kanda's thoughts on Lavi, just after he confessed to him that he wants him to be his muse. Well, there's a time lapse between sonnets. Somehow, Kanda feels it's all one-sided... He thinks Lavi just made him a muse for the sake of writing and that his love will never be returned by the redhead Bookman-in-training. The last line was Kanda's response to Lavi's P.O.V.

For Confined on My Bed...:

A fluff of LaviYuu... From the point of view of Lavi. It's self-explanatory.

The last part was an excerpt of Hale's "Broken Sonnet", which I simply used to express Kanda's response to Lavi's cut-off last sentence.

I hope you enjoyed it!