Title: Kyuubi's Plan
Type: Probably one-shot. Yaoi-referenced.
Summary: Kyuubi realized that Naruto wasn't strong enough to stop Sasuke from going to Orochimaru... Until a light bulb goes on.
Started/Finished: October 23, 2008/October 23,2008
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or even their characters. They're not mine!
Naruto growled in displeasure, frustrated. Sasuke smirked in victory.
He didn't want to hurt Sasuke... But this might be an exception for somebody who was as damn stubborn as he is.
He could feel his chakra circling him, the normally warm aura becoming a burning sensation. He would have to endure this if he wants Sasuke back. He has to-
Are you stupid.
What kind of idiot are you.
It wasn't a question, more like a statement of truth.
Stay out of this, duster. Naruto answered the frowning Kyuubi mentally. I have to bring him-
Back to Konoha. Shit, kid, I'm not on top your head. I'm inside it for Gajeezus' sake. I could see your brain from here inside your stomach.
Naruto was getting impatient. Sasuke was mocking him by not attacking him, so he was saved in some funny way.
I don't want you to use my chakra to fight a losing match. That's what I'm saying.
You don't have a choice.
SHIT, kid, I DO. Why do you think you have stomach cramps when you were a kid?
Well, that's a new news. Should have known. Go figure.
Then what should I do? Naruto asked as he saw Sasuke glared at him, getting ready to a fighting stance. Oh brilliant Kyuubi? He added sarcastically.
Kyuubi felt himself purring. Damn right you should call me brilliant. Alright, here's how it goes...
If Sasuke wasn't an Uchiha, he would have raised an eyebrow at Naruto's empty response. Naruto hasn't been trying to fight him for the last few minutes, nor does any of his pretty damn accurate bunshins have popped out behind him. But Uchiha Sasuke was a very patient man, and he knew better than to attack Naruto first. It might be a bait. (As much as he hated to admit it, Naruto is very talented at instant-strategy.)
Just what was Naruto planning?
Naruto cleared his throat, snapping Sasuke out of his thoughts.
"Sasuke," He started,
If Naruto is trying to convince him, he was trying a failing technique. "I told you, dobe, I won't-"
"I WANT YOU TO SCREW ME."
Did he heard that right?
Naruto's face reddened at his loud outburst, but he bravely continued. "Every day, I was hoping that you would just kiss me... And rape me."
"I want your huge dick inside of me. And j-j-just, thrust as if it's the end of the world."
Oh, hi, Mr. Hard-on. Are you new around here?
"I want to s-suck your dick and... and just i-impale myself to it."
Mr. Hard-on, wanna be friends with Mr. Pleasure?
"I-I..." Naruto's red face was getting very very red. "Everyday, I want to see you-"
It wasn't long until the two disappeared. And soon Konoha learned that a person can scream in pleasure that loud.
Kyuubi sipped at his coffee. "You're smarter than I thought, Kakashi."
Kakashi giggled evilly behind the bright orange book. "Kids these days."
Just so you know, Kakashi was able to talk to Kyuubi with a jutsu. Hah. I'm the freaking author. I rule.