Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21 and I don't make any money for my stories.
Summary: During practice, Shin has been able to tackle Sena more often then he should be able to. Shin wants to know why.
Warnings: NC-17. Yaoi. Explicit Sexual Acts. Angst. Cussing.
Pairing: Shin x Sena
Chapter 2: Locker Room
"Following, following, falling and following," Sena muttered thereby motivating himself to keep moving.
How can you fall when your feet are on the ground?
Sena wasn't sure of the answer. All he knew was that this feeling right now, it must be the same feeling that jumpers get when the false sensation of flight mutates into the harsh reality of free-fall.
That nice, strong heartbeat that had previously been such a high, each and every one of his senses heightened…it was still beating. Unfortunately, the record high had plummeted to an equally stunning low. That bloody, traitorous appendage was all but deafening him with its ceaseless racket. A matter of fact, Sena was amazed that there wasn't a fresh hole in the front of his jersey from where his heart had decided to jump ship.
Well, at least his physical heart was smart. His metaphorical heart was a needy little bit…ah, bad person. After all, it was his emotions – and to be truthful his hormones - that had gotten him into this mess. But his physical heart, it at the very least recognized that only one thing was certain. Sena's ship was going down in a blaze and not a blaze of glory.
Indeed, at the moment, Sena came with 'no glory included.' His only accessory was shame. He practically throbbed from all the guilt, and emptiness and SHAME.
It was his fault. They had had a good thing going. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. A passionate rivalry was something to be envied. Now, that rivalry, that respect…all that might as well be so much ash in the wake of a raging inferno.
Blood raced through circulatory superhighways at unnatural speeds causing Sena to do an admirable imitation of a leaf trembling in the wind. And his stomach, it actually seemed to be doing tricks inside of him, some kind of one-organ circus act. It was kind of nifty really. Maybe he could convince his stomach to run away and join the Cirque du Soliel. That would be nice. Especially since its annoying flopping robbed him of his ability to breathe. This sensation royally sucked.
Slow steps dragged Sena along in Shin's wake as the older boy walked with his normal, purposeful stride towards the locker room. He carefully forced himself to keep looking down. It probably wasn't wise to watch the distance between Shin's back and himself increase. The sight of that growing distance would definitely make him cry. Wouldn't that be the frosting on the proverbial cake? Not only would he be a gay, shrimpy freak of a failure, but he could move even further into the negative on the coolness scale by bawling like a baby in front of his not-so-secret crush.
Staring hazily at himself, Sena managed to giggle in a way that was both quiet and borderline hysterical.
Oh, lookie. Knees actually do knock. Huh. Who knew?
He supposed he should be scared for his life. After all, he had just hit on another man and not just that. He had hit on his number one rival, a man he respected above all others and a man that could royally kick his ass. That's right. ASS. If there ever was a time to cuss, now was it. Hiruma, at least, seemed to find it liberating.
Sena kept moving in a strangely disconnected way. He was just traipsing along to his death. No big deal.
All of the sudden, Sena's rambling musings died. He became aware of a familiar pair of well worn shoes filling his vision, Shin's shoes. Coming back to his senses, or at least becoming a little bit more aware of his surroundings, Sena noticed that Shin had paused in the doorway to the locker room.
Cautiously, Sena rolled his eyes up far enough to see Shin's face without moving his head. The eye strain hurt a bit but he wasn't ready to face the older boy head on. He was too afraid that such an action would result in his head coming off.
The rare expression on Shin's face was, unfortunately, recognizable. Disappointment. If anything, that look damaged Sena worse than any tackle ever could. The only reassurance was that the expression melted into nothing almost instantaneously.
With a slight head jerk, Shin pointed in the direction of the lockers.
"Change. We'll talk."
Sena's breathing seized in his chest. He couldn't help it. Shin just affected him that way. Nodding silently, still not fully looking at the other, Sena moved to his locker.
His and Shin's lockers were opposite each other. Thankfully, that allowed the two of them to dress without looking at one another. Sena would have liked to have taken a shower before changing into his clean clothes, but now was not the time to be picky or naked for that matter. Talk about tempting fate. Mechanically, Sena began to go through the motions of removing his gear.
In reality, he was focused on the familiar sounds of movement coming from the boy behind him. Usually he would sneak a peak at the other boy, but not today. It didn't really matter anyway. Sena knew every sound. These noises, he had recorded them mentally even before he had come to recognize the signs that he was obsessing over the other boy. He could easily visualize exactly what was going on.
There. That was the brush of a well-worn jersey being slid effortlessly over the boy's head and that light thump; that was the sound of a neck roll being set on the bench. Sena could easily picture Shin's hair getting ruffled in the process of undressing, locks sticking out comically in all directions.
Gods, what he wouldn't give to sooth that hair back into its usual, yet still chaotic, place.
Shin's light grunt indicated the marginal relaxation that came with removing the weight of the shoulder pads. Sena mirrored the actions. A scrape indicated that shoes were toed off which was unusual. Shin was usually much more careful than that with the protective gear. Next, wrist and elbow pads were discarded, each making a swishing sound followed by a quiet, metallic thud as they were tossed into the locker.
Unconsciously, Sena's eyes closed as he visualized Shin unbuckling and unlacing his pants. How he wished he could turn around and savor the sight of the slight bounce he knew was coming as the boy struggled to push the tight nylon mesh off his body. Shin's half-dressed behind flexing was not a sight to be missed. Sena sighed.
Right about now he imagined that perfect body was standing in nothing more than a thin tee, thick socks, boxers, a strap, and a girdle - sorry, hip pads - as the slightly older boy removed the knee and thigh pads from his pants. Soon, the rest would follow.
Exasperated with himself, Sena slammed his head into the lockers.
"Kobayakawa Sena, do not dent the lockers."
Sena started at the sound. Dang. He cursed himself. What was his damage? He was about to die. He was sure of it. Why else would Shin be showing NO reaction other than disappointment? And worst of all, Sena was still obsessing about his murderer.
"Sorry." Sena shuffled guiltily then slumped as the sounds of movement resumed. Great. More guilt. Destruction of property guilt.
Brain Damage, Sena decided, was the only explanation for his recent behavior. If he argued brain damage, it would be like claiming insanity in a court of law. He might be committed but he wouldn't be executed. He could hope.
It had to be those dang faulty helmet straps. Those blasted things were always flying off. It was the only rational explanation. A crappy helmet equals having brain damage. Brain damage equals having a death wish. See. The equations were simple. Honestly, the gods and the equipment dealers hated him. What did he ever do to them? Whatever it was, it was bad enough that they felt justified in setting aside all the crappy equipment for himself and his teammates?
Its probably Hiruma's fault. Giving HIM brain damage was probably considered a public service. I bet the successful dealer would be given the key to the city by the mayor himself.
The sound of Shin's voice sent Sena's head flying into the lockers once more, this time unintentionally. "We need to talk."
Dang! More brain damage. Well, what the heck…hell!? Sena rubbed his forehead. Could a person become more or less brain damaged? He didn't think so but what the hell – ha, he mentally cursed - did he know anymore, especially with all his damage.
"Sena," Sena's eyes widened. Did Shin just call him by his first name? Did Shin just sound hesitant? "Why won't you look at me?"
"Huh?" Well that wasn't what he expected to hear. Oddly, the shock was enough to keep him from looking at Shin. Instead, he stared blankly at the industrial, puke-green locker in front of him.
Shin continued, unperturbed. "You won't look at me." A slight pause ensued before Shin stated in a voice laced with arsenic, "This is not acceptable."
Sena froze like a deer caught in headlights except that the headlights were metallic lockers and death on four wheels was, from the sound of things, sitting on the bench directly behind him. Sena risked a covert glance back. Oh my god! Death was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt. It was definitely better to leave his gaze affixed to the nauseating lockers.
Well…you know….better. Sena mentally enclosed the six letter word in quotation marks. Everything was relative and when the standard of comparison most likely involved a violent and bloody death by bludgeoning, staring at lockers won the label 'better.'
"Unacceptable?" Sena cringed at the less-than-manly squeak. Sena mentally slapped himself up the back side of his head. Way to go road kill.
"I can't let this happen. You've been slowing down. Its…wrong. This cannot affect our practices together. They are too important. Do you understand Sena?"
Understand? Understand what? What did his death have to do with practices? Aside from the obvious fact that a lot of his practices could kill him, he didn't understand. Alright. He was officially lost now.
"Understand?" Sena was beginning to think that the brain damage had limited his ability to communicate. It seemed all he could do was repeat statements as questions.
Sena jumped so high he practically rivaled Sakuraba during an Everest pass as fists slammed into the lockers on either side of him blocking him in, the sharp clang of denting metal making his ears ring. So much for the lockers. It was time to die.
Sena held still as the other boy's heat once again enveloped him. He couldn't keep his eyes open. He needed to savor this last pleasure before he became personally acquainted with the grim reaper. He waited for one of those fists to dent him but time continued to pass undisturbed by movement or sound.
Sena wanted to think of something to say. Anything, but since he was enmeshed in a volatile combination of bliss and fear, his mind was drawing a blank. Finally, it was Shin that broke the silence.
"Takami says that people don't understand me."
Sena stopped breathing again when he felt Shin's forehead come to rest on his shoulder.
Nevertheless, he found enough air to prompt the older boy to continue. "Yeah?"
"I want you to understand me." Shin's statement echoed clearly through the small room.
When Sena's breathing kicked back in, it did it with the punch of a pissed-off mule. Disbelieving where this conversation was going and completely oblivious of how it tied into the few things that had already been said, Sena could only continue to ask for clarification.
Black strands of hair tickled his cheek as Shin nodded against his shoulder.
Gathering up the tattered remains of his courage, Sena took another risk. After all, what else could he possibly lose that wasn't already in danger? "I want to understand you Shin. Help me to understand you."
Sena felt Shin's body heave as he took a shuddering breath. My God! SHIN was struggling with this.
Sena's heart clenched at his rival's next words. They were almost tragic.
"I am not good at communicating with other people. What do you need me to say?"
Swallowing thickly Sena asked, "Why don't you start by telling me what you mean by 'this can't affect our practices.' Tell me" Sena risked leaning his cheek against the head still resting on his shoulder, "What is it that you want?"
Almost as if thought could soak through clothes and skin, Sena FELT Shin thinking as he struggled to find the right words. Finally, the silence was once more broken.
"I want my rival back."
Sena's heart sank as pain immediately washed over him. Ah. He understood. Figures. Even after everything that Sena just did on the field, the only thing Shin was worried about was their rivalry. He was willing to overlook 'little' things such as his rival's hormone-driven crush as long as he didn't lose his challenging game. Shin knew that Sena's attraction to him was distracting and that wasn't acceptable. Solution. Make Sena stop being distracted.
Sena's confidence continued its headlong nosedive into the core of the earth. Rejection was worse than anger.
Shin wasn't done speaking and Sena was forced to listen.
"Promise me Kobayakawa Sena. Promise me that this won't affect us on the field. You must stop slowing down. You need to always do your best." Sena felt Shin straighten up, arms dropping to his sides. Even though he couldn't see the other boy since he was still staring at lockers, somehow he knew that Shin was shaking his head. "I can't be the reason that you aren't always doing your best."
Despair made him cold. Sena knew he was being an ungrateful wretch. Things could have been much worse. MUCH WORSE. But somehow, he just couldn't make himself happy that the status quo was being reset. It wasn't that their rivalry wasn't just as important to him as it was to Shin. It was. It's just, Sena wanted more. Nevertheless, he reassured Shin. How could he do any less? He would bury his feelings and take as much joy in their rivalry as he could.
Resting his head on the lockers, Sena whispered his reply, "I understand Shin. I promise." He squeezed his eyelids shut hard to stop tears from falling. "I promise that I won't let this affect our rivalry." The exhilaration that came with their competition would just have to be enough.
Shin replaced his hands on either side of Sena, palms now flat against the cool metal. "Good. I am relieved." Lips lovingly brushed the nape of Sena's neck sending chills running up and down his spine. "This is okay then."
Mental gears creaked as they ground frantically together in Sena's head.
This? What this? Love this? Sex this?
"Whaaaaat!" Sena blurted out, snapping his head back into Shin's chest. "But what about the disappointment?"
While answering Shin began to rub firmly against Sena's back, almost like a dog trying to satisfy an impossible-to-scratch itch or one trying to mark its territory. "What disappointment?"
Sena's thoughts continued to whirl. "The disappointment that was on your face earlier. You were disappointed weren't you? I saw it."
Shin grunted, "You gave THIS," the intensity of rubbing increased, "as a reason why your performance was lagging. If that was so, this would become impossible for us. However, you have promised that this will no longer affect your performance on the field. You are a man of your word. I believe you."
Holy mother! Sena was stymied at what was practically a full-fledged speech from the reticent boy. Did this mean Shin was willing to try a relationship if it didn't affect their football rivalry? Well if that little 'about face' didn't just beat all. He just couldn't grasp it.
"Ya ya yes bu but…Ahhh." Sena moaned and his eyes rolled back into his head. Is that bulge burning trails up and down his lower back what he thinks it is? Oh gods, yes. It had to be. He must be dreaming.
Sena became conscious of the shadow cast by the man looming over him. Tipping his head back, he looked up into impossibly dark eyes. So lost in unexpected pleasure and confusion, Sena couldn't stop himself from convulsing once as sweet-smelling puffs of air warmed his lips. He must have looked ridiculous as his eyes crossed while watching his idol's mouth approach his own; but quite frankly, right now he couldn't give a damn...dang. Ah fuck it….Damn. He just couldn't tear his gaze away. Sena practically swooned as he felt Shin's next words traverse the bare millimeter that dared separate their mouths.
"This is what you wanted."
Sena's nod caused one teasing brush of their lips. Mentally he urged the other to move but Shin maintained his position.
"If I give it to you, will you stop being distracted? Will you continue to be my only rival?"
Sena's heart was back in his chest and doing double-time as Shin's deep voice vibrated into him. Of course, being a part of him, his heart would never miss out on the action. He groaned, "Yes. Yours. Your rival. Always yours. Only yours."
"Good." Lips brushed and teased. "Then I will have to make sure I give you as much of this as you need. We wouldn't want you to lose focus during practice."
Sena sighed as the lips finally settled firm on his own. A shifting press, a teasing bite, a fleeting bit of suction all worked together to drive Sena wild. His whole mouth tingled as Shin gently pulled his lower lip between a perfect row of white teeth, nibbling the pink flesh into a hyper-sensitive red. Sena felt a tiny bead of red well up from the lip's plumpest part only to be tenderly licked away in a soft, slow swipe. Without meaning to, Sena's lips parted in an unmistakable invitation, his whimper practically begging for invasion.
Shin, always the warrior, did not let such an opportunity go to waste. Sena's body again trembled as Shin's tongue slipped smoothly inside. Sena felt so hot. His flesh was burning. Little electrical pulses radiated outward from the kiss and sent the rest of his skin crawling. Each flicker of that slick surface against his own tongue, the roof of his mouth, the surface of his teeth made him throb in a way he never imagined possible. His throat convulsed with the desire to swallow that writhing muscle.
Sena's eyes fluttered open as Shin slowly pulled back. Sena wasn't even aware that he had closed them. Eyes half shuttered he watched as a thin thread of saliva stretched between them. Sena reached down and slightly to the back to knead the firm thighs that were partially supporting his weight. Who knew that saliva could be in any way erotic, but Sena couldn't look away until that small connection snapped.
"One more thing." Shin was back to sounding like he was giving orders, "You can never do that thing while I am in uniform again."
Still lost in a sensual haze, Sena looked at Shin in mild confusion. "Hmmmmm? What thing?"
"The rubbing thing."
Comprehension dawned on Sena. Shin was talking about what happened on the field. "Why not. If were not in a game…."
Why was Shin still talking? More kissing, less talking.
Twin spots of red lit up Shin's high cheekbones, but Sena had almost no time to enjoy the sight since Shin's next words floored him.
"You make my jock strap very uncomfortable."
Sena's eyes boggled for a moment. Well that woke him up. He felt he should say something along the lines of, 'Well Shin, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.'
He restrained himself. He didn't think the other boy would get it and the last thing he wanted to do is encourage such statements. They were somewhat effective at dulling the ardor.
Eliminating it? No. That was impossible, but it definitely interrupted the flow a bit. The moment broken and tension gone, for the next couple minutes Sena laughed uncontrollably. Truth be told, he had needed the release.
Finally settling down, Sena turned in the tight confines of Shin's embrace before reaching to rub the back of his own head. He checked to make sure he hadn't offended the older boy, but no. Being Shin, he only looked mildly curious about what he had missed.
"Ah…yeah. Sorry about that. I know what you mean."
Just now, Sena noticed that all these emotional ups and downs….they had exhausted him. He felt wonderful and physically heavy at the same time. Nonetheless, he couldn't stop himself from reaching up and brushing Shin's adorably serious face with his fingertips. He chuckled internally. Honestly, only Shin could pull out a line like that at a time like this.
Fondness and relief rippled through him as he realized that somehow he had lost nothing. He still had his rival. He still had his respect. Indeed, his brash act had won him something. He couldn't quite believe it but he wouldn't say that out loud lest he jinx things. Instead he said, "Well, I guess that settles that."
Sena was back to being confused. "No what?"
Shin just looked at him for a moment before responding by dropping to his knees in front of the other boy. With his usual efficient motions, he began working Sena's belt loose.
"We are not done yet. We are both still distracted."
"Ah, Shin-san…" Sena started nervously only to be cut off by Shin.
"Do not worry. I have noticed your muscle fatigue. I will handle everything."
Sena tittered only to wince at the embarrassing sound, "Um…that's not exactly the…Ow!"
"Sorry. I will remember for future reference that you cannot pull everything off at once. I will go slower."
Sena squeaked, "Future reference?"
He looked down just in time to see himself spring free of his last constraint. Oh My God! He almost poked Shin in the eye.
"Ummm." He couldn't keep himself from groaning in relief. It felt so good to be free of confinement. Pulling his thoughts together finally, Sena tried to reassure Shin, "You don't have to do this."
Shin looked mildly offended. "You don't think I can do it?"
Sena was quick to wave his hands to ward off that bullet, "It's not that."
"Do not worry Sena." Shin patted him on his toned, tee-covered stomach in a way that Shin probably thought of as gentle. In reality, if every muscle in Sena's body hadn't already tensed back up, he might have had organ damage.
Worry? Sena was back to asking questions, even if only in his own head. Oh, boy.
"I have not done this before but I am a quick learner."
Sena tried once more, "That's still not the issue. You don't need…"
"Here," Shin grabbed Sena's waving hands and placed them, one on each of his shoulders. "Put your hands here."
Shin grasped Sena's hips as if he were on a mission. Sena stared as Shin fixedly studied him from the waist down. To say that Sena felt embarrassed would be the understatement of the century, but gods that didn't stifle his excitement at all. Precum was already dripping off of the tip of his swollen erection and all Shin was doing was looking at him.
"You are smaller then me."
Sena choked. What the hell!? He started to stutter in protest. "Whaaa…"
Shin interrupted, "That is okay. You are bigger than your size would indicate and you are very symmetrical. This will make things easier I think."
Sena sputtered and then roared. "Ahhhh!"
All thoughts of protest flew out his head as Shin leaned forward and tentatively licked away the pearlescent bead wavering on the head of his cock, thereby causing the appendage give a slight bounce.
Sena swore. His knees would never knock again. Where his knees had once been, now he had limp noodles. His fingers clenched hard on Shin's shoulders. It was only by the grace of some divine being and the firm grip of Shin's fingers digging into his ass – when had those gotten there? – that he was still standing.
Instantly desperate for more, Sena shifted one hand from Shin's shoulders to his hair. Fingers clasped tightly into those locks, he urged Shin to move his tongue forward once more.
Sena watched as the kneeling boy's gaze slide upward, "You liked that."
In response Sena tugged more insistently on Shin's hair.
Shin didn't immediately respond. In fact, he looked mildly distracted as his gaze darted around the locker room. Sena groaned. Who knew Shin could be such a tease. Sena was helpless to move forward or to stop things. Whatever Shin was looking for, he didn't find it. Instead, Shin removed one hand from the cheek it was grasping and contemplated it. Finally, he shrugged before spitting into the palm.
Before Sena could even react to that gross sight, Shin's palm had wrapped firmly…a little too firmly, around the base of his cock.
"Eeeeee" Sena hissed causing Shin to immediately loosen his grip.
"Sorry," the other boy grunted."
Sena panted, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."
Shin just continued to study his, now lightly-grasping, hand. Good idea or no, Sena knew that once Shin became set on a task, he would never give up. The brown-haired boy prayed that he would survive unbroken.
Sena observed as Shin cautiously studied his face while beginning to use a gentle kneading, twisting motion. The spit smoothed the actions from being something abrasive into something erotic. God bless spit. It wasn't gross. He would never be able to think about it in the same way again. Unable to resist the new torrent of sensations flooding him, Sena's mouth fell open and he could feel himself begin to salivate.
Sena was trapped in Shin's gaze as the boy's head moved forward once more. Mischievously, Shin's tongue darted out time and time again, flicking teasingly against the head of Sena's dick, much like a cat savoring the sweet thickness of cream.
Sena kept groaning. There was never enough friction. It was just enough to stroke his flames to an almost unbearable level but offered him no form of release. Shin's remaining hand shifted from his ass to come fondle his sack. Tenderly, the dark-eyed boy rolled and tugged Sena's balls in one palm, his longest finger extending out to prod the sensitive skin that bridged the distance to his hole. Really! This was just too much. Had Shin really never done this before? Impossible! No one could be this good naturally.
Finally, a deep rending sob tore out of Sena's mouth. He really couldn't take it any more. The throbbing had become excruciating.
Only then did Shin break eye contact. Only then did he get serious.
Sena couldn't help but think, Holy Shit!
The hand on the base of his cock ceased its seductive movements only to return to kneading his ass, but that disappointment was soon overwhelmed and superseded by the next wave of unbelievable sensation. Sena practically hyperventilated as he felt Shin's tongue stroke him slowly from tip to root and back, once, twice, a third time and then. DAMN!
Sena collapsed over Shin, curling his upper body over the other's head as he was taken deep into Shin's mouth. The heat, the pressure and gods, the suction was extraordinary. Sena was absolutely incredulous. How was it possible that people did this on a regular basis and didn't die?
Oh shit, oh shit oh shit, the litany in Sena's head went on and on. Lights began to dance behind his eyes as tension made his whole body shake. He threw his head back, jerking his whole body upward while trying to yank Shin's mouth away from him.
Sena panted, "Shin, oh gods Shin! I'm gonna.."
Sena shuddered at the absence of heat as Shin's head moved away to allow speech.
"Huh." Oh! Heat's back. If Shin didn't move away soon….
"Shiin." Sena keened.
Once more, Sena registered the cool caress of air on wet skin as Shin removed his mouth.
Sena felt Shin return and tears leaked from the corners of Sena's eyes as Shin gave a particularly hard suck.
"Ahhhh." Sena's eyes fluttered uncontrollably. What was Shin saying?
Sena watched Shin withdraw one last time to whisper warm air right across the tip of his penis, "My name is Seijuro."
Sena felt that blaze envelop his dick once more and then Shin hummed. The lights in his head exploded into a myriad of colors as Sena lost it and screamed.
Sena continued to convulse as Shin tried to swallow every last spurt of cum jetting out of Sena in streams. Shin was only partially successful letting the rest coat his face and drip from the corner of his mouth. That sensual sight only elongated Sena's pleasure to the point that he knew he had been right. He did come to the locker room to die. Only, someone made a mistake and sent him to heaven.
Depleted, Sena collapsed backwards only to be caught in strong arms. For a moment it seemed as if he had moved from soaring on high to drifting gently through the air. Only when cool metal made contact with the back of his bare legs did Sena recognize that he was being carefully laid onto a bench.
Slowly, things came back into focus. He recognized that he was lying in only his t-shirt on a bench in a public locker room. He recognized that he was covered with even more sweat then he had been when they finished practice. He recognized that every muscle in his body felt like jello. Most importantly, he recognized the slightly smiling face of the man leaning over him.
Enchanted, he gave himself over entirely when Shin – no Seijuro – bent over to give him a deep kiss. He could taste himself on the others lips. It was kind of bitter, a little salty, but not too bad all things considered, especially when it came flavored with a little of his rival.
When Shin drew back, Sena again touched the other's face. "Wow."
"Oh. We're not done yet," Shin's smile actually grew leaving Sena stunned. "Stamina is one of the key qualities of a good player and, as my rival; I know you have more in you then just that."