I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
- 'I Hate Everything About You' by Three Days Grace
He doesn't know how to act around Inara. He never has, really. She is everything he has ever been against and yet he can't seem to hate her. He feels quite the opposite, in fact, which is where his problem begins.
He has tried to hate her countless times. He really has. It would make things so much easier if he could. Hell, he pretends (all the time) that he can't stand her, if not to keep up his image for others then for his own sake, for his own sanity.
He knows it's all a lie.
The truth is, hate is as far from how he feels about Inara as possible. He actually quite likes her. A lot. A lot, a lot.
Another truth is nothing can ever come of those feelings.
Keeping a fair distance from her is mandatory for their continued state of denial – even if it means lying to her and insulting her and hurting her. No. Especially that.
It's the only thing that makes perfect sense.
He loves her and he hates her and he doesn't know w hat to do about it more than he already is.
It's as simple – and yet so very complicated – as that.