I own nothing. Unfortunately. I am slightly in love with David Boreanez (as I presume most of you are lol) its slightly unhealthy but what's a girl to do ey? But what I wouldn't give to own him! Well not own him but ...lol who am I kidding DB or Angel..mmmmmmmm (new series of Bones last week- Yum! And how frikking funny!) oh right fic...lol anyhooo...

Pairings: B/A of course!! I haven't decided on the others just yet, Obviously W/O but I'm not sure on the others. TBH I'm not sure who is gonna turn up and whose not, we will both have to wait and see!

Spoilers: Cannonish up till S3 BTVS. Bits and Bobs (have not said that in like forever!) from BTVS S4 and A:ts S1 but will go my own way from there. Ohhh yeh Pretend Earshot didn't happen, because I'm quite tempted to put my own spin on it at some point during this fic, hehe!

Summary: Buffy's not doing so well without Angel, so lets get our favourite couple back together! Very bad summary, so bad you wouldn't believe, so please read! Basically starts getting our couple back together, eventually. Then my own little B/A series. Like a world of goodness. I can't wait!

A/N 1 I have yet to decide on the appearance of Dawn in this fic. TBH I cant stand the whiny brat but let me know in reviews if you think she would be beneficial to add anywhere.

A/N 2 I also really really can't stand Riley! What a completely useless, badly scripted, totally pathetic cow loving loser he is! (I feel very passionate about this lol and think it was completely wrong for all the characters and joss would be ashamed till his dying day!) So no offence to Riley lovers out there, each to there own (even if it does make u slightly erm, deranged ;) in a nice way of course lol) but if he does show up, I doubt it will be pleasant.

A/N 3 Angelus' thoughts/words are like this

Thoughts, Feelings and a General Beginning

Her picture seemed to mock him with its brilliance, although he could touch it all he liked, he could never truly be apart of it. Not any more, not since he left her. Now his life, once again was surrounded by darkness. This may seem ironic considering the he in question is a vampire and has been for over 200 years, but briefly, for a three year reprieve, he was bought out of the darkness and into the light by the object of his affection. The Slayer. Slayer comma The, look it up. Buffy.

The one thing that made this particular vampire unique was itself, in shatters. His soul. The soul that resides in this body, once over run by the demon, lay in pieces, searching out for its mate who he had voluntarily left behind, who now also lays in shatters.

I want my life to be with you

I don't

The greatest lie he had ever told. Ever. Not once during all his soulless up most evil years, or his human drunk whoring years had he ever told a lie so profound and now, now he was paying the consequences. Alone in the City of Angels. Not the best description he thought. LA. Los Angeles. A hot bed of crime, sin and unspeakable acts, from both demon and human alike. Oh yeh he fit right in. A city full of people who are out for themselves, out to get others, people who have made the wrong turns and then the people who have no where else to go. Some stuck after seeking fame and fortune in the sunny fake gold lined streets only to find under all that glamour and dreams, there was nothing but dirt. Under paid jobs, flaunting your body and a city lacking morals, truth and heart. Then of course, there is one who came to this particular city, yes to fight against the demons and their crimes, to protect the innocent and those too naïve to protect themselves. Mostly however, there is one that came to the city of angels, purely because he could not bring himself to be any further apart from what he had left behind.

His demon, buried deep inside him, under the shattered layers of soul cursed with rage at the feelings provoked from being apart from its mate. It had come to light after the re-ensouling that the demon had also found its mate in Buffy Summers. At first the demon had denied it, hell bent on destroying what provoked these feelings. So profound as they were, his mission was to destroy the slayer on every level to the same extent he himself felt violated.

A demon did not love, so he turned to the flip side of love. Hate. A demon did hate. For months he kept up the torture, against her, her friends and the innocents she was born to protect. Despite his 'best' intentions he began to notice something. Although he saw torture as an art from and had infinite wells of patience, he looked at what he had accomplished over there time together. Yes he had killed innocents, the only ones directly connected to Buffy however had been a classmate. Yes he had inflicted mental torture and caused her emotional pain, but what had he The Scourge of Europe really done?

Killed some goldfish.

A hundred years of murder, rape and torture and to extract his greatest revenge, he had killed fish. It drove him insane. By then her friends should have been laid out tortured and drained for her to find. Her family kidnapped and turned for her to find and try and turn to dust. But no. He had killed some fish.

The rage consuming him had led to extreme lengths, to get away from what he was becoming, the whole world would suffer. Acathla. The world sucked in to hell. More importantly, a 17 year old petite blond girl who had bought about the destruction of the great Angelus. Without even trying. And a slayer at that. Irony always was a bitch.

Determined, rage running through his veins with dead and borrowed blood, the demon found himself back on track with a vengeance. Once more himself and wanting to stay that way had to led to one of his proudest moments. Jenny Calender. The death. The seduction scene. The previous betrayal. The watchers love. The pain. The tears. The rage. The Cure.

His finest moment, taking away that shred of newly sprouted hope that the soul should be returned and the pain would stop. However his girl had stayed strong and he had been beaten. The one shining ray had been that it was the soul who had been sent to hell and the knowledge of what that would have done to hiss little slayer. This was short-lived however, because after all, he was right there with the soul, along for the ride.

Packed away under the soul once more the demon had made an acceptance. The slayer was his mate and a worthy one at that. Not that he could do anything about it. She had fought him to the end, kept her spirit despite what she would say and never gave up. Turned she would be truly magnificent, an evil above all else in strength and malice. A demon so dark even he would shudder. But the changes would come at a cost. One the demon had realised he would not be willing to make. The spark inside her, what made Buffy her. What made the slayer exceptional. Her soul. Condemned to a life in darkness. Ah the demon was not as moronic as he thought his soul to be. He understood that the slayer would forever be in darkness, but as she stands she is light herself. His slayer would never have the normal life his soul craved for her. She wouldn't get the picket fence or the kids and grand kids. He could and did accept it. Buffy could and did accept it. The soul would not.

He wanted her to have a normal life he felt she deserved. To have a family that loved her. A life outside of the darkness he lived in. A husband who could take her into the light, make love to her and apparently, take her on a picnic. Apparent this was enough for him to leave her. The hope that whe would one day get all of this. It gave him the strength to walk away. The strength after claiming her as his own. Marking her previously unblemished skin with his brand. A mark that will be a permanent fixture, unlike himself if he has his way. A connection between the two halves of a whole denied due to misconcieved good intentions.

A primal bond between soulmates that starts deep down in the depths of the greatest love and desire and ends in the furthest reaches of passion and loyalty. The bond which is now being denied and causing pain to each of the broken halves.

What he didn't understand, but soon would, was that all she ever needed and all she ever wanted was him. Without him, she is broken.

A/N OK I am so nervous about this you wouldn't believe. I've not written anything before so be gentle lol. This part turned out slightly different that I expected it to lol. I suppose it sums up a few things and feelings from both Angel and Angelus. It will be a proper fic with dialogue and everything I promise lol. I just started writing and this is what came out.

I'm trying to capture the characters as much as I can but still mould them to fit the story. Cannon so far with a few tweaks here and there to fit what I was trying to say. But hey, I'm the author. I'm allowed!

Look at me going on, see this is why the chapter didn't turn out how I planned, I cant stop myself! :)

SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW, I've never posted a fic before and I wont know whether to keep going if you don't tell me what you think! XXXX