A/N BTW this chapter is basically inspired by Rihanna's song Unfaithful. And sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was just trying to fit in the absolute best chapter. So fun readin'!
I snuggled in closer to 'Johnathon'. I laughed mentally. That name is just old fashioned. But I suppose that Edward is too. Ugh..Edward. What am I going to do? I just can't say 'Hey Edward, ya rememeber when I said that I wanted to marry you and all. Well lets froget all about that cause I am leaving you for the man that your sister was going to marry.' But am I really 'leaving' Edward? I don't want to. I love him still. I can't just let him go. But I love Johnathon also. I think. Well who do I love?
Then I noticed something. John was cooler. A few hundred degrees cooler. I looked up. It was Edward. I swallowed over a lump in my throat. Why would he bring me here? Why can't I just stay with him. And forget about all of this mess. I am not saying that Edward is 'this mess' I am just saying that this is too much for me to handle right now.I just want to sit by myself and think.
"Good Morning love." he said and kissed me on my head. His beautiful hand tucked a peice of stray hair behind me ear. I could feel the guilt eating me. "Is something bothering you?" he asked. Well I sure wish I could tell him that I could tell him that I am trying to choose between living with him or leaving him for the man whom he thinks killed his sister. But I don't think that, that would go over to well right now.
"No...nothing. How did I get here. Wasn't I in Effrelies?" his blinding smile disappeared. He sat p and sat me beside him. This isn't good. "Yes...Bella. We have ot talk about that. You see Johnathon and I talked. He told me what he talked to you about last night. Everything. I suppose that you know about my sister now...and I also know about you....kissing him." his voice broke. I placed my head in my hands. Yes the guilt is definately eating me whole. Burning me slowly.
"I am so sorry Edward, I don't even know what to say-" he cut my off. "He also told me about some of the Imalalie...customs. And I guess that whomever introduces the Imalalie to Effrelies is there-soul mate. You and John are meant to be together Bella." So is he giving me up? No I don't want that. Now that I have the choice I don't want it. I want Edward. Yes thats my choice. "But I want you Edward! I don't love John." I was trying to convice myself as well as him. "Yes...yes you do. You love him. No matter how much I wish it isn't true you do. And you can't fight it. You will hurt yourself trying. "he is giving me away. "No...I don't love him. I love you. I won't allow myself to be with him. I'll fight it. Turn me. " he chuckled darkly. "The mix between vampire venom and your blood is fatal."of course. Of course what I want is impossible. Everything has been this way for me lately.
"Bella." then it was Johnathon's voice that I head. I turned and there in Edward's place was John. "What?" I asked confused. "Just kidding. I didn't tell you we could shape shift yet did I?" He started laughing. "Great so now I am going to have to do this again." he put his arm around me. "Bella, you don't. I am not going to put you through that. I car for you too much to let you o through all of this emotional pain. Really. You love him." I knew he was talking about. But do I love him? Too many questions. "I...don't know. I don't know what I want. Or what I want to do right now. "he sighed. "Well Bella it's time to go home." he said and then I was on my bed looking at Edward pacing from wall to wall. "I am sorry Bella. I was just a little freaked out really. " I smiled. He came to me. "Edward I have to talk to you about something." , "Anything." he said and placed my hands in his. Here we go...