Disclaimer; It should be obvious, but I do not own Code Geass or Pizza Hut. This piece of work is strictly not for profit.


Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion

A Pizza Hut Ending

by Sasahara17


Kallen Kozuki, aged twenty eight, wondered what exactly how she'd wound up in this... 'situation'.

Still wet from her shower, she was dressed in nothing but a loosely tied bathrobe, standing in the open door of her rented bungalow, staring into the eyes of her supposedly deceased one true love who is wearing a Pizza Hut Delivery Guy uniform of all things.

Yes, this was a weird situation. How DID she get here again?

Oh yes.


It was several years since she'd graduated from Ashford Academy, now Brig. General Kallen Kozuki, a celebrated war hero, had naturally gone on to reactive herself in the Black Knights seeing as how it was what she did best. She'd worked tirelessly to maintain the peace he had crafted for them, traveling across the world to settle disputes, put down the odd narcotics ring, and generally tried to find a use for herself in a peaceful world while providing for her aging mother.

It was an unquestioned fact Kallen was the best warrior the Black Knights had. Unfortunately, with the advent of lasting world peace, there wasn't much for her to do. In that light, after single handedly wiping out an entire Refrain narcotics ring in South America, Kallen went to the impostor 'Zero' (She refused to think of that spinning idiot as Zero) and asked for something she didn't ask for often; a vacation.

And why wouldn't she? Kallen certainly had a huge pile of unused off days that needed using. She was twenty eight, drop dead georgeous, and not getting any younger.

A vacation was perfectly fine.

'Zero' agreed of course.

After arranging for Milly to take care of her mom while she was off relaxing somewhere, Kallen announced she was off to some random remote rural village in the Norway (about as far from Japan as anyone could get to), on the reasoning that it was about as far away from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo as she could get. She'd initially wanted to go to the beach in Okinawa until she'd heard Llyod had begun to dabble in high tech swimwear of all things and was planning to use her 'perfect body' as a test bed for his creations.

Taking a hint from Cecile, Kallen realised that the beach was out. So, sightseeing in Norway it is!.

She'd noticed that 'Zero' was strangely amused by her choice of Norway as her getway for some odd reason, but made no move to stop her.

How curious.


After a long flight to Norway, Kallen arrived in the small rented house the Norwegian Black Knights (all too pleased to serve a living legend in some way) had arranged for her. After the long flight in which she couldn't get a wink of sleep thanks to some wailing baby in the seat beside her (in retrospect, she should have just taken the Gurren instead of leaving it with those a certain pair of mad scientists for the scheduled overhaul) She was sleepy, tired and definitely in the mood for a long sleep.

So she did.

According to the digital clock on the side of her bed, she was out like a light for fourteen hours. So deep was her sleep, Kallen dreamt up a ridiculous fantasy where Lelouch, the love of her life, had not died and in fact had was still alive, living the quiet life with her as a pair of hay cart drivers somewhere far away from Japan (possibily Norway) after achieving world peace. Of course, there was the bit about them rolling in the hay quite a bit, but it was her fantasy right?

Kallen woke somewhere after midnight, long after all the shops and restaurants had closed and the midnight sun hung low on the horizon. And of course, as per murphy's law, she was absolutely ravenous. Suffering from Jet-lag and lacking energy to go out anyway, Kallen popped open the yellow pages for some takeaway... and to her delightful surprise, there was a brochure of the local 24 hour Pizza Hut wedged in between the pages of the phone book, most likely put there by the Black Knights who'd set up the place for her.

Feeling slightly nostalgic after having that wonderful dream, Kallen was in the mood for Pizza. With that, she grabbed the phone and dialed the number.

The operator spoke was a strangely familiar female voice Kallen was sure she had heard from somewhere, who took her order with an almost lazy kind of grace and not more than a bit of amusement. In Japanese no less. How odd.

After making her order, Kallen realized just how smelly she was having been on a plane for over twelve hours and sleeping for the next fourteen or so. So, against her better judgment, Kallen decided to go have a shower to freshen up.


Unknown to poor Kallen, the Pizza Hut outlet in the settlement actually less than a mile from her holiday abode. As soon as the 'weakling chef/delivery guy' had finished making the pizza, wrestling away the pizza away from the self professed 'super branch manager' (no small feat) and mounting his delivery scooter, he took much, much, less than the advertised thirty minutes to reach her doorstep.


Hence why, upon turning off the shower tap, Kallen heard the doorbell chime.

Upon realizing Pizza Hut had raised the standard of their delivery service, Kallen haphazardly threw on a bathrobe, grabbed her wallet and charged off to the door to get her breakfast-lunch-dinner-whatever. She didn't even have time to towel off.

When she'd opened the door, Kallen was treated to the sight of the last person she'd expected to see as a Pizza Delivery guy; Lelouch vi Brittannia. Tyrannical 99th Emperor of Britannia, the Man of Miracles 'Zero', Former Vice-Chairman of Ashford Academy...

…and now it seemed a Pizza Hut Delivery Guy.

Notwithstanding the fact he didn't look a day older than the last time she'd seen him alive (the last time she saw him alive, he had been run trough with a very long sword), Lelouch looked exactly as she remembered him. Raven black locks, angular features, beautiful violet eyes… Even the astonished look on his face, the one he always had when his foes caught him with his pants down, was correctly in place, just like in her photographs. He looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights.

Naturally, she was shocked too, but that was completely understandable given the circumstances.

Hence why they spent the next ten minutes just staring at the incredulity of the situation before them.


So here she was; Kallen Kozuki, aged twenty eight. Still wet from her shower, dressed in nothing but a loosely tied bathrobe, standing in the open door of her holiday bungalow, staring into the eyes of her supposedly deceased one true love who is wearing a Pizza Hut Delivery Ruy uniform of all things.

This was so surreal, that whole Geass business looked normal in comparison.


Back at Pizza Hut, the 'super branch manager' was cackling like the evil witch so many people often accused her of being while delightfully gouging herself on another helping of stuffed crust Pizza.

"That, is for taking away my Pizza!"

Life was good.


Kallen's first impulse was to throw herself at Lelouch, wrap her arms around him and tearfully declare her undying love for him before making hot passionate love to him. As appealing as that was, she squashed it with all the willpower she had at her disposal.

Then she remembered she, Brig. General Kallen Kozuki, was dressed only in a bathrobe.

Kallen's second impulse was to throw a punch at his face, grab him by the shoulders while he was still winded, and proceed to strangle the life out the lying, deceitful, perverted prick. That too was appealing, but once again Kallen quashed it.

The she remembered he, His Royal Majesty Lelouch vi Brittania, was dressed up as a PIZZA HUT DELIVERY GUY.

Oh.

That explained everything.

She was still dreaming, fast asleep.

This was another one of her fantasies.

The thought of incapacitating Lelouch before contacting Black Knight HQ to alert them to their most hated nemesis' survival never even crossed Kallen's mind.


For all his strategic brilliance, L.L. could only think of one thing to say in this situation; "T-t-that will be t-three hundred kroners m-ma'am." L.L. blurted out in English, still trying to make heads or tails of this most unexpected predicament. His cheeks were flushing, his eyes were darting all over the place and he was clearly on the verge of all out panic.

Kallen briefly wondered why.

Then it occurred to her that sometime in the last ten minutes, her bathrobe had come undone.

Right. Check the box that says, 'embarrassing nudity'. She was definitely dreaming. Mentally sighing to herself, Kallen decided if she was still sleeping, she might as well have a little fun while she was at it.

There was of course, that part of Kallen felt strangely disappointed that it wasn't in fact Lelouch standing before her as the Pizza Delivery Guy. Most of Kallen was thinking up ways to take full advantage of this fantasy of hers while it lasted.

Casually tossing her wallet over her shoulder back into the cabin, Kallen put on the most sultry smile she possibly could. "Oh, sorry mister delivery guy. I don't have any money."

You could see the blood drain out of L.L.'s face. He'd been doing the job long enough to know where this was headed. Edging backwards away from Kallen and towards his parked scooter L.L. stammered out ... something. "Uh, oh, um, well… if that's the case, I'll just be on my wa-"

"But… I can pay you in… other ways." Kallen said huskily, sliding well into L.L.'s personal space with all the finesse of the most graceful feline.

'Strategy determines battles'; that was L.L.'s creed. But right now, the hero's mind couldn't come up with even one… except for 'run my immortal ass off'.

"Q-Q-Q-Q-1! S-S-Stop this behavior this instant! What's gotten into you?" L.L. tried desperately to get into his 'Zero' tone of voice, but failed miserably.

"Awwww, come on Lelou! You're the King, I'm your Queen, and we all know what the King does to the Queen right?" She whispered huskily into his ear, pressing her bare breasts against him.

Instead of feeling aroused, L.L.'s thoughts were more akin to blind panic. L.L. mentally cursed C.C. This whole Pizza Hut thing was her idea! They should have stuck to that hay cart gig!

"Q-1! Kallen! Listen, I'm sorry for all the times I've lied to you and I'll explain everyth…"

"You can tell me allll that later. Care to 'come' inside?" She gave a small pat on her lower abdomen for good measure to let him get her gist. Oh she was e-n-j-o-y-i-n-g this.

L.L. finally lost it.

With a loud scream more befitting of a teenage girl, L.L. shoved his insulated bag into Kallen's hands and took off as fast as two legs could carry him back to the safety of the Pizza Hut premises nearly a mile away. He'd even forgotten to mount his scooter, leaving it parked just outside Kallen's bungalow.

"You forgot your tip!" Kallen cheekily called after him.

Wow, Kallen mused to herself, Lelouch was running really, really fast. if only the real Lelouch could even do half that speed... This was definitely a dream.

Laughing to herself all the way, Kallen took the Pizza back into her bedroom and savored every single slice. Damn, this was some good Pizza. Once she had her fill, Kallen plopped back on her bed and drifted back to sleep, contenting herself that her Lelouch filled dream was nothing more than one of her sweet fantasies.

After all, she'd have to kill him if something like this ever happened in real life.


The scream of outrage Kallen let out the next day when she awoke to discover she was dressed in only a bathrobe with an empty Pizza box on the floor of the bedroom, could be heard for miles around. Coincidentally, it also woke up L.L. and C.C. in their shared apartment. It didn't take L.L. much more to grab a set of clothes, which so happened to be his uniform, and start running.

It made headline news the day after that Brig. General Kallen Kozuki, legendary war hero, chased a 'humble Norwegian Pizza Hut employee' for the better part of an afternoon, while mounted on what appeared to be his scooter, across what should have been a peaceful rural village. Purportedly, she was attempting to beat him to death with an empty pizza box.

This incident would forever haunt L.L. for the rest of his immortal life.


THE END