Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonflight or indeed anything related to DRoP with the exception of a few insane plot bunnies that I'm not sure I even want to claim ownership of. If you recognize a reference to some other story in here? Guess what, I don't own those either. And in no way do I advise this "summary" as an alternative to actually reading the books.
A/N
: Most of my fic on here is serious writing. So that means you readers probably don't the insanity that is the majority of my mind. This, on the other hand, is a glimpse of it. No, there is no literary merit whatsoever. No, there is no point to it. Just pure and utter crackfic.
There's a community on livejournal which creates hilarious little parody summaries called "movies in 15 minutes" (community name: m15m), which I am in no way affiliated with, but would highly recommend. As I was rereading Dragonflight for the millionth time recently, I wrote a summary of one scene in that general style. And then I wrote another scene. And then I got a really bad idea. What if I did the entire book? And, as usual, I couldn't resist the plot-bunny. (Evil little buggers.) So I present Dragonflight in 15 Minutes ... or maybe not just 15 minutes, it is a play-by-play summary of a nearly three-hundred-page book. Half an hour, maybe?

Speech, Thoughts, /Actions and Emotions/ and the random "3"s are supposed to be that "little less than three" heart thing, but as usual ate half my symbols and format stuff.

Dragonflight in Half an Hour

Weyr Search

Red Star: /Glare/
Lessa: /Shiver/
Lessa: Wha?
Ruatha: /Wither/
Lessa: Chaos, panic, disorder. My work here is done.

Fax: I'm evil and offensive!
F'lar: /Hate/
Lessa: /Mind games/
Dragons: Rawr
F'lar: What's wrong with this picture?
Fax: /Offensive/
F'lar: /Challenging/
Gemma: Oh noes!
Gemma: /Goes into labor/
Everyone: Oh noes!
Fax: Sure I'll renounce Ruatha … for the kid
F'lar: Oh snap!
Lessa: /Vindictive/
Gemma: /Ded/
Lessa: Whoops
Lessa: The kid's alive
F'lar: Oh snap!
Fax: /Rage/
Lessa: /Knocked out/
F'lar: Notsofast!
Fax: /Insulting/
F'lar: I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die! ... No wait, wrong story.
Fax: I keel j00!
F'lar: No, I keel j00!
Fax: /Ded/
F'lar: What have we here?
Lessa: Ruatha is mine! Bwa ha ha!
F'lar: You sure you're supposed to be good?
Lessa: Run away, run awaaay!
F'lar: Oh noes!
Mnementh: Lookie what I found!
Lessa: /Fume/
F'lar: You, you're comin with me.
Lessa: Says who?
Flar: /Facepalm/
F'lar: Status?
Lessa: Meh
F'lar: Power?
Lessa: Meh
F'lar: Fight the Red Star?
Lessa: Ooh
F'lar: You can has dragon
Lessa: Oh, fine
Watch-wher: /Attack/
Lessa: Oh noes!
Watch-wher: /Whoops/
Watch-wher: /Ded/
Dragons: Waah!
Lessa: Waah!
F'lar: Wha?
F'lar + Lessa: /Gone/

Lessa: Clean!
F'lar: He-ey!
Lessa: /Glower/
F'lar: /Advice/
Lessa: Wha?
Dragon eggs: /Hatch/
Candidates: /Scared/
Lessa: Wimps
Hatchlings + Candidates: /Chaos/
Ramoth: /Hatch/
Girls: /Terrified/
Ramoth: /Charge/
Girl 1: /Ded/
Girl 2: /Ded/
Lessa: 3!
Ramoth: 3!