HEY DUDES AND LADYDUDES AND SOME OTHER PEEPS MAYBE? I WRITTHIS BUT THEN I HAD TO REWRIT IT A LOT TO MAKE IT A TRUELY EPIC ENDING TO THE GRATEST STORY IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD! :-P Soz it took so long but i hope you looooooooooooooove this FINAL TO END ALL FINALS!

Blud looked at the royal death note that sat in his hands like an evil book sitting in his hands. Ruyk looked even harder and it was so f-cking cool that he started dancing on teh spot and he fell and landed on a pile of apple flavor heroine! (AN: THATS WHY HE LOVES APPLES SO MUCH COS HE HAS A DICTION.) Dark starting laughing and Bluds head twisted round like the exorcist girl and there was a mad look on his face and his eyes were so big that it was lick two blimps exploding out of his face on fire and his grin was made of teeth so sharp that whenever he bit he split nuclears and made explosions happen!

MEANWHILE IN SPACE

The comet was ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOM to earth! Yotsuba stood on the roof staring down at the planet. The comet wasn't a real comet cos it came from another planet and it had a rocket on the back.

"F-CK I REALLY WANT A DOG" yotsuba screamed but in space NOONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM! So no one new he wanted a dog and he was dead lonely which is why he was coming to earth.

The comet SMASHED into the sea and no one knew what it was cos it was like a new island so they called it AUSTRALIA and went to live there BUT LITTLE DID THEY NO that yotsuba was there being evil and shit!

BACK IN THE CAVE

Blud looked at the royal death note again just in case it was still there and then looked at dark.

"YOU LOOK LIKE A STUPID PATSY! BOY!" Blud snarled. Dark just lolled and ripped off his shirt.

"Would a stupid patsy do THIS?" he asked and Blud looked all down and whispered "no."

Dark flipped off Blud and started to grab all robin hoods gold so he could sell it. He was richer than Michael felps (IF YOU DONT KNOW WHO HE IS WATCH THE NEWS LOL!) cos felps had 18 golds but now dark had like 500. "WAIT I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOU BOY" blud sniffed and spat a lot of slimy snot on the floor and his snot was a shinigami too and that's where the slimy shinigami came from!

"What is it you fat stupid bloodyman? Is your plan for me to get you a baby bottle for the baby which is you!" Dark said and his burn was so sick that all the other shinigami laughed at Blud.

"I AHVE A BETTER PLAN" blud peeked "TAKE THIS BOOK AND WRITE THE NAMES OF EVIL DUDES IN IT..."

"But there are no evil dudes!" Dark gapped. "Ancient Kira killed them all in shakespeary times!"

"OH REALLY..." There was a BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM so loud that it sounded like hell but if hell had a black hole in the middle and was getting reverse-exploded and all the nuclears in the world where exploding at once to try to save it but it wasn't enough as the comment BOOOOOOOOMED into the sea and it was AUSTRALIA and yotsuba was there and you no the drill. RIGHT ON CUE!

"What was that?" Dark sound trying to sound all chill cos actually he was pretty chill.

"EVIL COMING BACK..." Blud grinned. "SO I JUST MET YOU AND THIS SOUNDS CRAZY BUT HERES A ROYAL DEATH NOTE BUT KILL ALL THOSE EVIL DUDES MAYBE!" LIKE THE SONG!

"K!" Dark said and he ran back to wammy house with a load of gold stuffed his pants.

BUT THEN HE WOKE UP

"Man was that all a dream?" Dark sighed.

"Nope!" Mello said cos he was still stuck on the ceiling (SEE THE LAST CHAP IF YOU FORGOT WHY BUT BASICLY HE WAS DARED TO STICK HIMSELF TO THE CEILING SO HE STUCK HIMSELF TO THE CIELING AND NOW HES STILL STUCK THERE COS HE USED REALLY STICKY GLUE TO STICK HIMSELF). "You did all that crazy shit!"

"That's good!" Dark said and he found the royal death note under his pillow. "Now to do some STUFF!"

BACK IN THE CAVE WHICH WAS JUST A DREAM... OR WAS IT?

A crinkle assed coppy man with a chocolate in each shoe and another in his mouth walked into the cave roughing up his hands together.

"I DID WHAT YOU SAID MY BLACKLY HAIRED BUDDY" Blud said doing a Japanish bow.

"Gooooooood" L said evily. "Everything went JUST AS PLANNED"

"What is your plan" Ruyk asked cos he was too stupid to remember hard things like plans and phone numbers.

"My plan... IS TO GET A JOB AS THE WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE!" L laughed hard. "I PLANNED THIS ALL ALONG! I SENT A MESSAGE TO THE EVIL PLANET TELLING THEM ABOUT A VERY SPECIAL DOG..."

IN AMERICA

There was a ding dong. Lights mom opened the door AND A GUNSHOT AND A BULLET SHOT THROUGH HER AND BLOOD WENT EVERYWHERE! Luckily it missed her organs and went splat on the wall so she was ok and didn't realise.

"Hello" she said taking off her dress cos Soichiro wasn't in and she wanted SEX!

"Hellooooooo" the door man greased putting away his gun. "I hear you have a doooooooog."

"Why yes I do!" lights mom said.

"Can I haaaaaaaave him?"

"Only if you sex me right up!" Lights mom said so they sexed right there in the hallways so Light's Mom could write a new name in her sex note... YOTSUBA. He was quiet good at sexing but not as good as anyone else she had ever sexed with. "Here is the dog!" she said and she gave him Might Yagami! (THATS WHERE HE GOT THE DOG!)

"Thaaaaaaaank you" the man said and he closed the door... but before he went HE GOT LIGHTS DEATH NOTE AND PUT IT IN THE SCANNER AND EMAILED IT TO HIMSELF!

"Wait where did all this blood come from!?" Lights mom squarked.

In ancient times

Watari was a kid and walking around the streets of London. He looked at the ground and saw a sad baby. This babby was sad cos it was japanish and japan hadn't been invented yet!

"HELLO MY WEE BABBILING CHUMPOT?" Watari said. "YOU HAVE A SHITE FILLED NAPPY (ENGLISH FOR DAIPER!)"

The baby smiled and starred hard at watari. Thats when watari new... THIS BABY WAS L.

Adult L jumped out of a puddle

"Hey gramps!" he said and he grabbed watari and tied him up in a rope and his own tie. He stole watari's death note and threw it at the babby. "I see you have stumbled onto MY LITTLE PLAN"

Then a clone of watari came out of the puddle which was really a time portal. He stood next to Watari and they looked the same! Except the mustache...

"WHO IN THE NAME OF THE QUEENS CHESTY BITS ARE YOU?" Watari said and someone punched him for being mean to the queen.

"This is your clone. He looks NEARLY the same as you..." L grinned. "So I will call him... NEAR."

L got out a chainsaw and RIPPED watari's mustache so hard that it all came off and CRAMMED it into the clone's face.

"Well now HE is watari and YOU are near!" L laughed. "NEAR DEAD THAT IS!" and he laughed so hard that the fire of London started. L and new near who was old watari jumped in the time puddle to escape just before the flame got them!

IN ENGLAND

Near stayed tied up for years and that's why all he said in Epilog 1 was "M MM MMMMMM MMMMMM. MMMM MMMM MM MMM MMMM MMM MMMMMMM MMMMMM MMMM MM MM MMMM MM MM MMMM MMMM!" which means "I AM REALLY WATARI! NEAR TIED ME AND TOOK THE ANCIENT DEATH NOTE TO DO EVIL SO HE WOOD RULE!" (an: i am super surprised noone worked this out! IT WAS OBVIOUS.) In the end he forgot all about watari and L hipnotised him with legos so he started to love legos SO HARD and he fort legos were sexy and tried to sex a lady made of legos once which in the future Night will realise when she reads his mind! There was no reason for this but L fort it would be funny to watch watari frenching it up to third base with a lego laddy. AND IT WAS.

AND THATS WHY wATARI AND NEAR BOTH HAVE THE SAME HAIR COLOR! :O :I :O :I :O

So meanwhile near who was pretending to be watari was ruling watari house and using all his powers to train up Dark for L and sending messages to alien worlds full of evil so that more evil would come to earth and then there would be evil and people would look at stuff and shout "save us" and L would be like "Yo guys good thing i had a school full of detectives FOR JUST THIS PURPOSE ;)" and they'd call him a hero AND IT ALL WORKED. So that happened.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BABY?

Back in ancient England the baby looked at the remains of London after the fire and it new that there was nothing for it in England. So the baby grew up and built a boat and sailed around the world to the empty ocean. Then it got out its Ancient Death Note and writ "JAPAN" in there and a comet splashed into the sea and japan was there and now he had a home!

There were hundreds of years until the future so the baby GOT PRACTICING and started learning everything ever so that one day it would be the best detective in the world.

NOW EVERYTHING COMES TOGETHER

Dark had his royal death note and he was kiraing dudes. By mistake Ruyk had got a death note of his own and given it to light. THIS WAS THE FLAW IN L'S PLAN. How? FIND OUT.

"L!" Watari roared. "WE HAVE A BUGGER FLUFFING PROBLEM!"

L looked at the screen. "A dude died!" he rofled. "So what?"

"SO... DARK DIDN'T KIRA HIM!"

WHAT! L punched the table so hard that nothing happened cos he was dead weak. "HOW!"

"We need to find the real kira before he kiras us!" Watari panicked pressing all the buttons at once. He accidentallt hit the show history button and all his internet history came up and there were naked laddies in it! But this wasn't the time for naked laddies so he clicked exit all blushing and red and L dissed him.

"I will do a press conference!" L said and he did the Lind L Taylor thing and died like in the anime but then got life noted back. (THE LIFE NOTE CAME FROM A MAGIC CASTLE THAT WAS ALSO A DRAGON IN CHINA ITS NOT AN INTERESTIGN STORY OK).

Watari looked at the list of suspects. "I HAVE NARROWED IT DOWN TO ONE BLOKE" wataried

"Who"

"LIGHT MELVILLE YAGAMI!"

"What a coinkidink! I have his bro here and he is also kira! SEND HIM TO ACT AS A SPY!"

BUT DARK HEARD THIS AND BARGED IN!

"What did you say!" he said standing shirtless in front of the American flag that watari had in his office for some reason even though in English. "I will never betray my family!" and he went back to his bunk. Then he saw Mello!

He killed Mello and Watari lick in Chapter 2! EVERYTHING IS COMING TOGETHER!

He went back to America and decided that he would do everything in his power to bring down this corrupt and evil man who was called L sometimes. It would be hard but with a little help from his friends and a little bravery and a little heart and a big man thing maybe... HE COULD SAVE THE WORLD!

SO YOU'VE READ THE REST OF THE STORY AND YOU KNOW HOW THAT WENT. DARK DEFEATED L... BUT THERE WAS A PRICE. A PRICE THAT WE ALL MUST PAY ONE DAY... THE PRICE OF DESTROYING THE WORLD AND THE SHINIGAMI WORLD TOO

But theres one thing you didn't see...

And it starts

Like

This...

Light was loosing his verginity! He was in his bed with the girl from the bus and they weren't sexing very hard cos they weren't very good at it. But they were good enough... to get her pregnant? :O

Nine months later THE WORLD EXPLODED IN THE CLIMACTIC FIGHT. But there was one survivor who jumped into the portal to the puddle in ancient london! And her name was... SAMANTHER. AKA THE GIRL FROM THE BUS!

Becuase that baby was one that was to bring much evil and death into the world. "I will call you Light Jr" she said except she was so exhausted from giving birth that all she could say was "I... will call... you... L!"

Lightning crashed and boomed around her as she said these evil words.

FIVE HUNDRED YEARS LATER

L and Dark had had their final fight. Samanther looked sadly at her son smashing it out to the death. HOW HAD SHE BEEN SO WRONG TO MAKE THE EVIL BABY? She got a sword and blew up the death note robot and stabbed L (LIKE IN CHAPTER 39). But she didn't kill him...

"Who are you!" L gasped

"Your mom!" samanther cried.

"Finish me!" The color was washing out of him like a shirt in the wash.

"No my son you made mistakes but you deserve another chance!" He started to shrink also like a shirt in the wash. Soon he was a baby. Samanther gave him one last kiss.

"Before I go... tell me one thing" L said. "Who is my dad?"

"Light!" Samanther said and booted him into the portal to ancient London again.

"Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiit" L said but he was a baby now.

SO EVERYTHING MADE SENSE NOW

EXCEPT...

"Creepy dude was my dad..." L thought before he turned into baby watari. "That means Light... WAS CREEPY DUDE!"

LIGHT LAUGHED EVILLY

"YES! I PLANNED THIS ALL ALONG! YOU WERE ALL MY PORNS IN THIS GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE AND I AM IT!" Lights face flashed and it was obvious that he had been polluted by the powers of the death note too! For his face which was once human and skinny was now shinigami and scaly! He slicked back his Mohawk made of blood and skulls and jumped on the motorbike to the past to meet watari. (AN: BECAUSE HE HAD TURNED INTO BLUD BECAUSE HE WAS BLUD ALL ALONG! I ADDED THIS AN COS PEEPS DIDNT GET IT!)

And then the whole thing started again...

THE END

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY! If not tell me and i will change it ;_; BUT ITS TOO GOOD TO CHANGE SO YOUD BETTER F-CKING LIKE IT!

THE END x2!

WRITTEN BY D'ARKYAGAM'I

BASED ON THE DEATH NOTE SERIES BUT MADE BETTER BY D'ARKYGAAM'I

IDEAS BY SOME DUDES ON TWITTER AND IN THE REVEWS SOMETIMES! THANKS FOR READING CHICKS AND DUDELY CHICKS! CHECK OUT REALDARKYAGAMI ON TWITTER FOR MORE FUN DARK AYGAMI FACTS!

DIRECTED BY D'ARKYAGAM'I

TV shows do that bit where a funny bit happens after the credits so HERE YOU GO!

Dark was in the kitchen eating a sandwich. Blud came in!

"I HAVE A JOKE!" Blud bellowed so loud the sandwich became a toasted sandwich.

"What is it?" Dark said.

"YOUR MOM"

Everyone started laughing. They all do a bow to YOU the AUDIENCE for being so awesome and the curtains close!

THE END x3

THE END... 4EVA

Maybe :P