Author's Note: These are purely for fun, and do not reflect any opinions I may have on a given 'ship'. (Actually, I rarely have an opinion on a ship at all, except to reflect on any humor potential.) The first few were actually posted in Avatar Spirit's shipping thread, and only became a Fan Fiction series by popular demand, so the early rambles are notably shorter and of lesser quality to the later entries.

Mai on... Kataang.

"Take the two most cavity-carving twits in the show, buckle them both in chastity belts, and you have the main 'ship' of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

"Aang is an airbending freak with no hair and a body build like my little brother WHO'S TWO YEARS OLD, but he has a personality that could favorably be compared to an affectionate puppy so he naturally lights up Katara's radar like a firetruck with its siren set to 11. Katara was dark-skinned, exotic, as curved as a lamppost, and uninterested in getting some, so naturally the romance didn't progress much until season 3 when she suddenly discovered America and puberty set in.

"By that point, the two should have looked more like bunnies than humans, but my boyfriend showed up at their house and asked if he could stay 'til he cleared things up with his folks, so all the romance was put on hold until Zuko was no longer shuffling through the house in his Spongebob boxers.

"Once Zuko was safely chained to the throne NO NOT THAT THRONE the two were free to get together and do whatever it is kids do when they declare themselves a couple. I wouldn't know because the love of my life decided to mouth off to his pa and subsequently had to join the navy for a few years.

"Why are you still here?"