Summary: Passing notes during History class has never been so fun. (Dasey.)
Disclaimer: Don't own Life With Derek. 'Nuff said.
Author's Note: Alright, so this was inspired by a Lackson fic I once read. And just so the "dialogue" doesn't get too confusing, I've prepared the chart below.
Yep. So… enjoy!
By: Lady Azura
Hey Grubbie! How's it going?
Leave me alone.
I'm trying to listen to Mr. Elmhurst.
Would it KILL you to just lie back and chill for once?
It would, because unlike YOU, I actually want to succeed in life.
Now leave me alone.
You're no fun.
School isn't MEANT to be fun.
It's meant for learning, which is precisely what I'm TRYING to do.
Just when I thought you couldn't get any lamer…
Go die in a fire, Derek.
That's a little harsh, don't you think?
I wonder what Elmhurst would say if he saw that.
You wouldn't dare!
If you do, I swear I'll never talk to you again!
Is that a threat or a promise?
I saw you flirting with Truman earlier.
I wasn't flirting!
were SO flirting!
You were twirling your hair and giggling and everything!
So maybe I was flirting a little…
What's it to you?
Oh, not much…
I just think it'd be best if you stayed away from him.
I don't care WHAT you think.
He's bad news.
My guydar tells me so.
It's like the male version of "Women's Intuition".
Do I sense some sarcasm?
The one and only.
S'up, D? Case?
Who invited you into this conversation?
And… not much.
Casey accidentally passed it to me instead of Sam to give to you.
Yeah… I don't really remember.
Do you mind? This is kind of private.
Nice shoes, by the way.
Umm… thank you?
Now that Ralph's gone…
Private, you say?
You make it sound so… kinky.
Your words, not mine.
Just stop talking to me already!
Hey, I'm not FORCING you to respond.
Well, no more!
The conversation ends here!
Ugh! What do you want NOW?
I knew you couldn't resist answering.
You're so predictable, Case.
Go to hell.
Wow. You seem to be on a roll today!
What part of "leave me alone" DON'T you comprehend?
All of it.
You're such an asshole.
And proud of it!
So… in addition to you flirting with Truman…
Do you wanna know what ELSE I saw today?
Well, I'm going to tell you anyway!
Your dream diary!
Afraid not, dear Casey.
I know ALL about your dreams, and I know that Truman isn't the only one you dream about.
Then what, pray tell, DO I dream about?
I can't believe you walked into that one!
So it's true?!
You dream about me?
I HATE YOU!
I'll take that as a yes.
what are they about?
Are they dirty?
Do they get you all hot and bothered and make you want to fuck me?
Are you kidding me?!
YOU are the most repulsive creature I've ever met in my life!
Why would I ever sleep with you?!
Because I'm simply irresistible.
And pretty damn good in bed, if I do say so myself.
Call me what you want, but that still doesn't change the fact that I can make any girl scream my name at any given time.
Sandra, Kendra, Amy, Beth, Sally… the list goes on.
I really didn't want to know that.
But I haven't even gotten to the good part!
Do you know HOW I made them scream?
No, and I don't want to!
So keep it to yourself!
the thought turning you on?
Are you getting wet just thinking about WHAT I might've done?
I just don't want to be scarred for life!
You know, you're a terrible liar even on paper.
I bet you ARE getting wet.
I bet that once this bell rings, you're going to go home and take a long, cold shower while thinking about me and my magic fingers.
Don't make me puke.
Just… shut up.
I'm right, aren't I?
Fuck you, Derek.
Just answer me one thing.
Do you want to sneak out and go home early so I can prove how awesome I am in bed?
Are you suggesting what I THINK you're suggesting?
Check yes or no.
I knew you wouldn't be able to resist.
Meet you in the parking lot in five!
Alright, so that turned out a lot dirtier than I originally intended, but whatever. I had fun writing it.
Hopefully they weren't too OOC.
Please REVIEW and tell me what you think!