When Neji woke up, what he saw wasn't what he'd been expecting. He wasn't in bed. It was too cold and hard to be a bed. On opening his eyes and looking around, he discovered that he was lying on a slab of marble in a room ominously decorated with the leering carven faces of dead Main House Hyuuga. He knew who they were, because the religion of the Hyuugas involved the worship of dead Main House Hyuuga, most notably a figure called Sasuke Hyuuga, who had supposedly founded the clan. In fact, this room looked vaguely similar to the shrine located in the basement of the Hyuuga mansion, though this one had a much darker theme. Wow. He hadn't thought those statues could be more depressing, but here was the proof.
Just as he sat up, a voice cleared its throat behind him. Neji whirled around, and nearly fell off the slab. His (evil) uncle Hiashi was standing over him. With a dagger. It appeared to be a very sharp dagger, and Hiashi was hefting it thoughtfully in front of his face, as if contemplating how it might best be used. And he was nodding thoughtfully to himself at odd intervals.
"Hiashi-sama? What are you doing with that knife?" At this point, Neji was inching away from his obviously crazed relative. He contemplated activating his Byakugan in order to simultaneously search for the exit and keep an eye on Hiashi, but that would involve giving away the fact that he was nervous and a bit frightened to the man with a knife a short distance from his face. A man who happened to have 20 years of experience in the fighting style Neji was best at, and who could probably swat him down like a fly if he tried using the Gentle Fist. Not to mention the curse seal Neji had on his forehead. Yes, let's not anger the unbalanced leader of the Hyuuga, shall we?
"Hmm, Neji? Ah, right, you woke up! So, Neji, how would you like to plumb the depths of your mind for remnants of your dead father? Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Ah, right. It was now obvious. Hiashi wasn't mildly unbalanced as Neji had originally hoped, he had gone fully around the bend. Was playing with less than half of a full deck, and had lost the majority of his marbles. Neji gave up the game of subtly glancing around for an exit and stood, activating his Byakugan, to desperately search for a way out of the room. Unfortunately, Hiashi had seen this, and reacted exactly as Neji hadn't wanted him to. By slowly bringing his hand into the shape required for activation of the cursed seal.
Neji stopped moving. Hiashi nodded approvingly, and brought his hand down. He patted the slab in front of him encouragingly, and Neji moved to sit back on it hesitantly. Now that Hiashi had been appeased and was satisfied that his audience would stay in place for the moment, he moved to exposit.
"Now Neji, I know what you're thinking: your father's dead and he can't be in you, can he? Well, actually, he neglected to mention something rather important about the circumstances of your birth, nephew. Neji, you don't have a mother. No, she's not dead as you thought. Actually, Neji, you're a clone of your father. Ever wonder why you look so much like him? Well, there's your answer. Sorry we didn't mention it before, you know how it is, you forget the unimportant little details over time."
"I...I...what? I'm a what? And how the hell is that related to looking in my mind for my father? You're not making any sense at all!" Neji was not going to let his crazy uncle disturb his mental world view with anything! Not even the fact that his father had sacrificed his life for his brother had disturbed his long-standing hatred of the Main House, this was nothing in comparison to that!
"Well, you see, at various point in my life, after you beat up Hinata on her first day at the Academy, after you beat up Hinata when I forgot to have someone pick her up from the Academy that one – no, those couple of times, and after you beat up Hinata in the Chunin exams, I've woken up from my dreams with your father's silhouette standing over my bed. I decided that, since you look alike, and have the same genes and hairstyles, you might channel your father while sleepwalking in order to tell me how proud he is that you grew up bullying your cousin. So, why don't we take a look inside your head, just to check?"
"That makes no sense whatsoever! You're hallucinating because you're batshit insane!"
"Hah! You're wrong! My psychiatrist told me that Hanabi-chan was a figment of my imagination, and she's perfectly real! You've seen her around, haven't you? That proves that I'm not insane!"
Neji was sure that the only thing that proved was that Hiashi's psychiatrist was extremely unobservant, but kept his mouth shut. He saw Hiashi's fingers twitching into a familiar shape, and decided that silence was the better part of valor. He knew what his place was right now, and that was to be a silently stunned and occasionally surprised audience. By now, he'd practically memorized the layout of the room, and the only way out was through Hiashi, and Hiashi didn't look to be moving any time soon.
"You see, the Hyuuga have an ancient power, passed down through generations-"
"Yes, I know. It's a blood limit called the Byakugan. We both have it, Hiashi-sama."
"Don't interrupt me, nephew. And no, I'm not talking about the Byakugan. What I'm talking about is a rare power that only appears in the Main House family members! It's the power over life itself! And I shall use it to delve into your psyche and retrieve the pieces of my beloved brother residing in your mind, and we shall finally be reunited! And I'll finally get laid! Here I go!"
With this ominous speech, Hiashi began a series of strange poses. Neji supposed that when done by an attractive well-endowed woman, the poses might have looked attractive. Unfortunately, Hiashi was a middle-aged man in a white bathrobe. The resulting magical girl transformation was not a pretty sight. And because Neji's Byakugan had never been deactivated, Neji caught every brain-breaking moment of it.
And Hiashi was now dressed in an extremely short black sailor suit. No, not the naval kind. No, this sailor suit was pretty much a copy of Sailor Moon's outfit. Not that Neji watched anime, or anything of the sort, or course not. He's just seen a few snatches of it while Hinata had watched it. Yes, that was a good enough excuse, wasn't it? Anyways, in front of Neji was his cross dressing uncle. Who now had a petite yet menacing black heart-tipped wand pointed at Neji.
Darkness spiraled from the wand, and Neji's vision blanked out.