Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic ever. This is about the wonderful movie The Love of Siam by Chookiat Sakveerakul, Pitch, and Mario. I did this because of a compelling need to give Mew his well deserved happy ending. But of course with a few more drama =)
I would greatly appreciate feedback from everyone. Thanks for dropping by!
It was a typical day in early January. The sun is already up but the air is cold and occasional strong winds still blow on the streets of Bangkok. Christmas vacation is over and today is the first day that students are coming back to school.
The events of the morning have been a blur to Mew. He was able to attend a couple of classes and before he knew it, it was already time to have lunch. He left his classroom without waiting for his friends and went straight to the cafeteria. After buying lunch, he went to the farthest unoccupied table and slowly picked on his food. He had been like this for a couple of weeks now – absent minded, glum, and more quiet than usual. He has yet to recover from his last conversation with Tong. They have stopped communication after seeing each other at the concert in Siam Square. Mew was thinking about how he was able to survive without his grandmother and now, how to survive without Tong. His thoughts were cut short, however, when someone sat across him.
"So you think you can get away from us?" said Alex.
"Hey…" greeted Mew silently.
"The last time I saw you, you were so happy. What happened over Christmas?" Alex was thinking about the last time he saw Mew at the concert.
"Are you okay, Mew?"
"Have I told you before that I'm your friend and that you can trust me? Or that I love you and just say you want to be my boyfriend and I'll say yes?" Alex was smiling when he spoke to Mew.
"Do you want me to ignore you forever?" Mew replied smiling but the smile didn't reach his eyes.
"Ahahaha! You're no fun, you know that?"
The smile still traced Mew's lips but once again he sadly looked at his plate and slowly ate his food. Alex got the cue and ate his lunch as well. They ate in silence and not once looked at each other. Alex was the first one to break the ice.
"Seriously," he began "Mew, if you need to talk to someone, please—"
"I know, Alex. I'm sorry, I'm not just ready yet…" Both stopped eating. Mew raised his head and met Alex's gaze. Tears were already forming in his eyes and before he can wipe them out, fat tears rolled down his cheeks. "This…is…you fault." Mew accused between sobs.
"Has anyone told you that you look cute when you cry?" Alex teased while handing Mew his handkerchief. Mew suddenly laughed at the unexpected comment. He grabbed Alex's handkerchief and slapped it playfully on his friend's face.
"You deserve it you bastard!" Mew continued laughing.
"Well, it's not everyday that people see you cry."
The bell chimed before Mew can retort. The boys instinctive looked at the cafeteria clock and grunted in disgust.
"Let's go back to class?" volunteered Alex.
"Uhm, you go right up. I'll just go to the CR."
"Okay, later then." Alex stood up, gave Mew one last smile, then went back to class. Mew stayed seated while watching Alex leave. He released one deep sigh then stood up and went to the CR. He wiped his still moist eyes then pocketed the handkerchief. He should remember to give it back to Alex later. Surprisingly, he somehow felt less sad after talking to his friend.
The August band has just finished practicing for the night and the boys are already packing their instruments. Mew was sitting in one corner of the room and oblivious of everybody else. He remembered the first time Tong watched them practice. He remembered how happy he was to have Tong watch him sing and how happy he was to sing for Tong. He remembered the inexplicable feeling of having Tong sleep beside him; of having to wake smelling Tong from the pillow he used that night—"
"Don't tell me you'll cry again."
"What?!" he glared at the person who's voice interrupted his reminiscing. "Oh, it's you." he dismissed the ever-smiling Alex. "Why is it that you always interrupt me when I'm thinking?"
"Good to see you too." Alex ignored the question. "Long time no see." Alex stood straight from leaning on the wall and sat beside Mew.
"You just finished practicing with me and the band, in case you haven't noticed." said Mew.
"You never talked to me again after our lunch last week. Are you mad or something?" asked Alex. Everybody's looking at them now. When Mew didn't answer, Alex signaled the band to finish cleaning up and stood again to finish his own packing. When all was done, everyone said their goodbyes and left Mew inside the studio.
A couple of minutes more and Mew was ready to go. He got his bag and went outside the building. He was surprised to see Alex waiting for him outside.
"Did you forget something?" Mew asked.
"I used to wait for you after practice, remember?" Alex's tone has a tinge of sadness.
"Oh, sorry, yeah—I mean…"
"It's okay. I just figured Tong won't be coming tonight to walk you home…"
"We… don't see each other anymore."
"That's what I guessed. Ready to go home?"
"Thank you, Alex. I appreciate this, but, you really don't have to do this."
"We live in the same area." Alex was smiling again. Mew closed his eyes, sighed deep, and smiled at Alex apologetically.
"I don't really know what's happening to me, I'm sorry."
"Hey, no need for apologies. I understand. It may be unclear the first time I told you this but just to make it clear, I do care for you." Alex curled his right hand on the back of Mew's neck and together they walked home.
Alex can't sleep. His eyes are closed but his mind is wide open. It's going to be a long night again, he thought to himself. How he can endure the pain he's feeling, he doesn't understand. He thought he's already over it but he quickly realized that he's simply mistaken. He thought he has finally found the courage to let Mew go when he saw how happy Mew was when Tong went back to his life.
Mew's happiness is his happiness even if it breaks his heart. But Tong left Mew again, the bastard. He's thinking of taking his chance with Mew again. He forgot where he heard about the broken heart being the easiest to steal but he'd be damned if he would accidentally hurt Mew's feelings again. Mew's heart has simply had too much already for Alex to try to meddle with it again.
He already forgot when he really took notice of Mew. Maybe two years ago when he realized Mew was also gay or maybe he has dreamt of Mew long before they finally met. He doesn't really know. He tried showing Mew his feelings by being a totally loyal buddy but it seemed to not earn him anything but friendship; full and unadulterated friendship—what the fuck. He tried to date girls next to see if Mew will get jealous but again, to no avail. Lastly, he tried something more daring—the time when he stuck his tongue into Mew's mouth during the P.E. class, where he suddenly chickened out and accused Mew of doing what he just did. He paid for it dearly, he knew. He suffered every time Mew ignored him. He almost transferred to another school if his mom didn't scold him non-stop.
Mew appealed to him like nobody else did. Maybe because Mew looks so vulnerable or that he simply can't resist their cute and talented lead singer. Nobody knew about this, of course. He dared not expose his feelings with Mew especially when his long lost boyfriend, Tong, came back. He doesn't think he'd match up to that guy anyway. He also hasn't told anybody in the band about it but he guesses it wouldn't matter if they knew and that he has a hunch they wouldn't really be surprised in any case, with him kissing Mew and all. But he was ready to give up Mew. To see him happy feels much better than to see him lonely and lost. Fucking martyr, he told himself. But Tong is out of the picture again and he can't help but to be drawn more to Mew. It's something painfully inescapable for him.
Fatigue finally caught up with Alex and slowly, his mind drifted into oblivion, into the darkness of the dreamless night.