Hey there! Sorry its been so long. But I've got a serious case of writers block and anything that I've written lately hasn't been good enough for you guys.
But I had a few hours of shining inspiration and I managed to grind out the ending to this story.
Ah...when manipulated correctly, unrequited love can be AWESOME!
But only when manipulated correctly!!
Hopefully this is alright, I thought a bit of Ten/Martha might brighten your day just that little bit.
and as for the other story that I have been writing, In the Eyes of Eternity, I'm stuck. And I mean REALLY stuck.
Give me a week, and I'll see what I can churn out for you!
But...it might not be good as I can make it...cause...well...I'm stuck with it.
Hehe...please take this story as a peace offering!! *bows and prays that you all won't throw stones*
Open and Shut
The TARDIS was rather quiet, other than the steady thrum of the engines, there was no noise.
But it was not deserted.
The Doctor stood in the console room, a book in the palm of his hands as his fingers wandered across the pages.
Seeing as Donna was at home for a 'break' as she called it, he'd finally gotten the chance to sit down and read.
Or stand up and skim.
Yet he wasn't alone.
Martha Jones was back on board for a little while; she'd wanted to go on one more trip before she married Tom and finally settled down.
The Doctor's fingers froze and his hearts twinged painfully at the thought of his little Martha Jones, getting married and 'settling down for good'.
He'd always thought she'd be there for him, dedicated, always waiting for him to let the memory of Rose go and embrace her.
But it had been a stupid thought; Martha was strong, articulate and intelligent.
No self respecting woman as attractive as Martha would wait for something that wasn't likely to happen in her life time, she wouldn't endure a life of pain and being held at an arm's length until she died.
She'd come back this time, as a friend. And nothing more.
It was good, having her back with him.
But it wasn't what it used to be.
It wasn't like before, when he could flirt a little with her, hug her at his will and if he ever got the urge to…kiss her.
Not that it had ever come up, but it was a comfortable thing, knowing that he didn't have to worry about encroaching on someone else's relationship.
Now, it somehow seemed colder.
Of course, they still laughed and joked and mucked about like they used to, but when he'd try to have a little flirt, she'd glare at him. He couldn't touch her any more; he couldn't hold her because he wanted to. She just told him to suck it up and be a big boy.
She was out of his reach now.
And that made her all the more appealing.
He'd felt the urge to sweep her off her feet and kiss her, numerous times.
Just so he could look into her eyes and see her reaction when he whispered softly to her, all those words that he'd wanted to say over their time spent apart.
But he winced when he realized that he'd missed the boat by a long way.
The news of her engagement had shaken him to the core, and it had been the final straw.
Acceptance over Rose's departure hit him and suddenly he was back where he had been so long ago.
He felt as if he was standing before that large white wall again, but this time Martha was on the other side.
Emotionally ruined again.
He wanted her; he wanted to have her back with him, he wanted to be able to go back to when everything was alright between them, back two years ago, back to the Royal Hope Hospital.
Start it all again and this time get it right.
Sometimes having a time machine didn't help with actually going back in time.
You couldn't ever fix your mistakes. They were always going to be there.
As Brad Pitt had said in the movie Troy "We will never be here again".
Too right for an actor.
There was a sudden heavy thud as the large book he'd been skimming through slipped from his hand and hit the floor.
He stared blankly at it, knowing he should probably pick it up, but he couldn't move.
His mind was wandering over what to do about his feelings for the now Restricted Martha.
That voice filtered into his mind and he shivered slightly.
He liked the way she said his name, there was just something comforting about it.
Something that made it feel proper.
Like it really was his name and not just a title.
"Doctor? Are you alright? I heard a noise" Martha said
Well, that was a good sign. She cared about him.
Just...not in the way he cared about her.
She liked him, but not in the way he liked her.
Not anymore anyway.
He was too late, way, way too late.
That word again, in that voice.
He idly wondered how lucky Tom was, he wondered what he'd done to make her love him.
He wondered what they got up to; he wondered how she smelt so close, how she felt, how she tasted.
She grabbed hold of his arm, anchoring him to reality, allowing himself to find a way back to the world of the living.
Blinking, he looked up to find Martha standing by him, a worried look plastered on her face.
So physically close, but emotionally out of reach.
"Sorry?" he managed, still coming out of his daze.
Her frown deepened and she narrowed her eyes.
"Are you alright?" she asked suspiciously, tilting her head to the right.
What could he say to that?
No, I'm not alright; I'm moping because you're getting married to some human rather than staying with me?
Yeah, he'd say that and get a slap across the face and then screamed at before she demanded to go home.
That was not something he could possibly take.
So, once again, he hid his feelings behind a wall of lunacy.
"Me?! Course, as always. Mister Deep Thought, that's me!" he said seamlessly, flashing her one of his best smiles.
Her hand released his arm and she shrugged, returning the smile.
"Good. Now...where to?" she asked.
The Doctor rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands in his pockets, before blowing out a long breath.
"I dunno. It's your trip. You tell me" he said.
For a moment, Martha appeared to sink deep into thought, before clicking her fingers and grinning.
"Remember you told me where to find the best ice cream in the universe. But you never took me there, cause we had to refuel and then...the whole thing happened?" Martha said.
The Doctor hesitated, hoping this was leading where he wanted it to go.
"I want to go there." She finished.
A sly little smile crept onto his face and he leaned down to her.
"Yes, the failed date wasn't it?" he suggested.
Martha frowned at him, her eyes glazing over with a slight element of resentment.
"No…just ice cream." She said in a flat tone, leaving no room for any continued suggestions.
Struggling not to visibly recoil, the Doctor stood up and nodded to himself.
He managed a small fake smile.
His hearts were bleeding freely, and he was in so much agony over this whole thing.
It really was Rose all over again.
But this time it was worse, cause Martha was standing right in front of him, doing this to him.
Even as he trudged around the console, he could feel her constant presence like a thorn in his side.
There was a certain awkwardness that hung in the air.
It was obvious that she loved Tom.
Martha did not love the Doctor.
Half a hiccupping sob left his mouth by surprise, causing Martha to look over at him.
She eyed him critically and e hoped to god he didn't look upset.
But she never said a word, so he let it be.
They landed with a very slight bump, and with a great sigh, the Doctor looked over at Martha.
"Your ice cream awaits." he said with a grin so forced, he knew it looked fake.
Yet again, Martha ignored it.
She smiled at him, then bounded over to the door and pulled it open.
Outside the Doctor could see neon lights in inky blackness, pretty colourful signs that exclaimed various slogans and signatures in various languages. He could hear the sound of a fountain and he knew that the TARDIS had landed him in the plaza of the huge centre of Hyperbia 9.
Martha giggled with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning before slipping out into the world, leaving the Doctor standing in the TARDIS, alone.
With a deep groan, he slumped into the captain's chair and covered his eyes with his hands.
His throat was aching badly, and it was a fight not to burst into tears.
Despite being a Time Lord, he felt pain as equally as the next being and sometimes it was over whelming, as it was now.
She didn't love him.
It echoed in his mind.
She. Did. Not. Love. Him.
He supposed that the pain he felt was justified in some sick twisted way. It was sort of pay back for what he'd done to her so long ago.
Martha had gone through it, and she'd been alright. She'd been strong enough to let go and move on.
The only problem was; the Doctor didn't think he was strong enough to let her go.
"Oh Rassilion...I'm pathetic," he whispered to himself.
Outside, he heard the clatter of Martha's returning footsteps and then the door creaked open.
"Doctor, you've got to come and...Doctor?"
She must have seen him…must have been worried about him because he heard her approach.
"...Doctor? What's the matter? Are you ill?"
Her voice was soft, caring. Almost like the Martha of old times.
The urge to nod was strong, but he couldn't be reduced to faking sickness to get attention.
He took his hands from his eyes and flashed her a grin as he made to stand up.
"No, it's nothing. Just a little faint for a moment but it's passed," he said with a wave of his hand.
"Are you sure? We don't have to go...I mean if you do feel ill...I could..." Martha began.
"Oh no, we can go…I'm fine. And besides, this is your trip! Wouldn't wanna ruin it for you. Come on, let's go and find that ice cream," the Doctor interrupted as he grabbed his tan overcoat from one of the TARDIS' supports.
"Then, back to the TARDIS and back home." Martha added.
He made damn sure only to nod and keep his back to her.
Why was she like that?
Get his hopes up and then crush them the next second.
Did she know? Did she care?
Or was this all a big game to her?
He left the TARDIS, hoping that they might get around to talking about it tonight.
Maybe, hopefully, if the high God Rassilion favoured him; a kiss.
Not that it was ever going to happen.
There wasn't even any point in getting his hopes up.
It was over between the two.
Together, they sat in the small ice cream parlour, eating the universe's best ice cream.
Martha laughed and carried on about nonsense.
Of course, he loved the sound of her voice, but he couldn't help but feel sad about how she really ignored most of the small things he said.
He'd told her she looked nice in that outfit and she began to talk about the stars.
Not even so much as a thanks for noticing.
It hurt badly, and he recoiled into a kind of shell, picking at the ice cream, hardly raising his head to look at her. Yet still she talked.
Finally, after about an hour of her talking, she suddenly stopped.
For a while, they sat in silence and when the Doctor looked up, he found her gazing at him sadly.
"You really are unwell aren't you?" she asked.
He frowned and shook his head, avoiding her eyes.
"Why do you say that?"
"Come off it Doctor! I know you. You're usually hyperactive, bouncing around all over the place and always talking. But tonight you've hardly said a word. You're so quiet and sad. You must be ill" Martha concluded.
He wished he could look her in the eye and tell her that if she couldn't see what was staring her right in the face, and why he was so sad, then she didn't know him at all.
In the end, all he did was shrug.
"Just tired is all." He sighed.
Martha took him on face value again, it didn't even seem like she had considered the possibility that he was lying to her.
"Well...I suppose it's time we headed back to the TARDIS. I have a wedding to plan." Martha said as she got to her feet.
He didn't even bother to smile, he simply pushed his chair back and walked to the door.
They had paid earlier, so they were able to walk straight out and into the street.
She walked in front of him, not bothering to turn around and look at him, not talking to him, just walking.
If he stopped, she probably wouldn't know until she got back to the TARDIS, which wasn't all that far away.
The Doctor didn't bother trying to talk, he knew that he would undoubtedly say something that would make the atmosphere extremely awkward, and he just didn't have the heart to try and be cheerful any more.
Soon as he dropped Martha off, he was going to find his bedroom and lay there for a few millennia; slip into a deep, deep sleep and forget his pain.
"Doctor?" Martha called.
"Hmmm?" the Doctor responded.
She slowed her pace and fell into step beside him, gazing at the Time Lord with those glittering eyes that made his hearts flutter.
He repaid her with a mildly curious look.
"Would you come to the wedding?" she suddenly asked.
The look of slight curiosity fell from his face as his hearts contracted painfully.
He looked away abruptly, finding the ground beneath his feet to be in need of scrutiny; wishing fervently that she hadn't asked.
He'd do anything for her, absolutely anything. But if he went to this wedding, his hearts would break; he'd watch her slip away from his grasp forever.
The mere thought of the agony caused his eyes to sting.
"...I can't" he said softly, shaking his head.
"But why not?" Martha asked, sounding slightly hurt.
Why, now of all the times previous, did she have to question him?
"...I don't do things like that Martha. And you know it. I...I just don't" he said, avoiding her eyes.
There was a flurry of movement and before he knew it, he was stopped dead in his tracks, Martha standing in front of him, squeezing his hand tightly.
"Please Doctor? For me? You're my best friend, it would mean everything to me if you were right there with me. It really would be the perfect day." Martha begged.
He shut his eyes, blocking out her face from his mind. But he could feel her warm hand in his, squeezing.
Was that all he was to her?
A best friend?
Is that it?
He suddenly wished that he wasn't as attached to her as he was.
Because he knew what the answer was.
There was only one answer he could give in a situation like this.
"...Alright...alright, I'll come," he sighed, feeling like an idiot.
Martha however crowed with delight as she let him go to clap.
She proceeded to tell him the dates and the dress code, which he noted.
Already he was kicking himself.
He couldn't wait for it to be all over.
With a sigh of absolute contentment, Martha smoothed out her wedding dress, smiling slightly as she recalled her final adventure or not-so-adventuring-adventure with the Doctor.
Today was her day to be wonderful, to be all she could be and to be the very centre of attention.
All that mattered was her marriage to Tom.
But she was broken out of her line of thought by a knock on the large wooden door behind her.
"Come in" she called, staring at a wrinkle angrily in the satin.
She heard the heavy, oak door open and when she turned to observe whoever wanted her attention, she found the grinning face of Captain Jack Harkness at the door.
"My, my. I almost wish it were me that you were marrying. Or maybe me…that you would take on your honeymoon" Jack teased.
Martha smiled at him, enjoying his freedom.
"What's the matter Jack. I am a little busy," Martha said lightly.
"Ah. Yes. A visitor, Miss Jones. If you'll have him," Jack said.
His ice blue eyes were sparkling as Martha turned back to study herself in the mirror.
"Let him in," she chuckled.
"Yes Ma'am," Jack said cheekily and before she could turn and berate him, she knew he'd ducked out.
"You two play nice now. But not too nice…she is getting married after all," she heard him say, before the door shut.
For a moment, there was silence in the room and Martha assumed that Jack had been playing with her, until she heard a very quiet voice.
"You look beautiful."
Martha recognized the voice instantly and spun around to see the Doctor standing before her, dressed in the same tuxedo that he was wearing when they had met Lazarus.
He stood there, looking awkward with his hands behind his back and his head hung a little lower than normal.
"Doctor!" Martha cried, unspeakably happy that he had turned up.
She rushed to him and embraced him tightly, not worrying about the dress for a little while.
She held him as a friend; thankfully she had convinced herself that he was nothing more than that.
As she drew back and examined him close up, it struck her that he looked tired.
She could see deep in his eyes there was a gleam of true sorrow, masked poorly by a fake film of happiness.
But she shook it off.
"Thank you so much for coming. I didn't think you would!" Martha said.
"I said I would come. So I came…I couldn't miss your big day," he murmured.
But as she grinned at him, she couldn't help but worry.
He did seem a little pale.
Was he ill?
"Doctor? Are you alright?" she asked.
A small smile, somehow heartbreakingly fragile came to his lips as he shook his head.
"Don't worry about me. This is your day. Martha Jones…growing up." He sounded hurt, weak, feeble.
Like something was vitally wrong with him.
Martha couldn't resist, she gently cupped his cheek and stared meaningfully at him.
"If there was…you'd tell me wouldn't you?" She asked, her voice soft.
He looked her in the eyes.
"Yes" he said; nothing but honesty in his voice and in his eyes.
Martha tilted her head, frowning.
"It's not about Rose is it?" she murmured, but he shook her head.
Despite Martha wanting to talk to the Doctor properly, Tish shattered the tender moment by charging in.
"Almost ready Martha?" Tish asked as Martha dropped her hand.
"Yeah…almost. Thank you again…Doctor," she said in response.
The Doctor nodded sadly, before slowly walking to the door.
"Good luck Martha," he whispered as he left, but if Martha hadn't known better, it sounded false.
Like he didn't want her to be married, that he didn't wish her luck.
Tish looked at her closely.
"You still love him," she stated.
Martha shut her eyes, and sighed.
There was no denying what she felt for the old alien.
She still loved him to bits, but she'd convinced herself that there was nothing that she could do. Nothing was ever going to happen between them and she denied any chance that there could be.
She'd moved on, but not really.
Yet there was no denying it from Tish; she knew everything about Martha.
"It's not like it matters. He doesn't love me. I've moved on. I've got Tom," she said, as she turned back to the mirror, dismissing any of her previous thoughts.
Tish approached her, a small smile on her lips.
"I think you may be wrong there Martha," Tish said.
A shiver ran up Martha's spine and she risked a small desperate glance at Tish, hoping she was lying.
"Pardon?" she asked levelly.
"I think…he does," her sister said softly.
At this Martha couldn't help it; she turned to her sister and stared at her with wide eyes.
"What makes you say that?!" she asked.
"You saw him, Martha. He's hurting. It's obvious that he's in love with you. And you made him come to your wedding to a man that I don't think you love enough to marry. He's in pain. But he came here because you want him here." Tish explained softly.
It sounded so horrible to her, but she was still getting over the shock.
The Doctor did love her.
It would explain so many things, and Tish normally was right about these kinds of things.
Taking a deep breath, Martha tried to calm her panic.
"What do I do?" she asked.
But Tish shook her head and smiled sadly at her little sister.
"I don't know. It's your decision." She said.
The ceremony had started, the priest was talking as Martha and Tom stood together at the altar.
She was so beautiful, radiating in that pure white dress, perfect in every way.
As she stood there, the Doctor's hearts were ripping slowly into millions of pieces. He stood rigid next to Jack in the line of family nearby her.
He was trying so hard to remain still, not to break down, not to confess to her and embarrass Martha on the most important day of her life.
He tried to exercise some self control.
But as he realised that his last shreds of hope were disappearing, he couldn't stand by and watch this any longer.
It felt like he was being made to watch his planet burn all over again, the fear and sadness and loneliness. He knew exactly what was happening, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
The helplessness was what he couldn't handle, and it was rife here.
He had to stand there and look happy for her, even though he was dying inside.
It was too much.
How could any sane person stand by and watch the object of their affection drift away forever?
Not the Doctor, he couldn't do it.
Quickly, he turned on his feet and made for the door closest to him.
The priest's voice faltered into silence as those in attendance of Martha's momentous day began to murmur in dissent and confusion.
"Doctor?" Martha called, but her voice only served to quicken his pace.
He yanked open the door and fled across the gravel, away from the church.
He was almost running along the side of the church, heading down the pathway towards the large iron gates, and if he made them; he'd be free.
He'd be able to return to the TARDIS and run forever more.
"Doctor!" this time it was Jack who was calling him, and following him to boot.
But the Doctor didn't slow, didn't turn around even when he heard Jack charging up behind him.
All he knew was that he needed to get away.
Run so far from the pain, from the earth and most of all from Martha.
"Hey! Doctor! Stop!" Jack said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him to a halt.
"Let me go." the Doctor demanded, pulling against the strong grip of Jack's hand.
Yet the ex Time Agent and now head of Torchwood held firm.
Nu-uh, I'm not letting you go. You said you'd be here for her, so why are making a fool outta both of you by trying to run half way through the service?" Jack snapped.
"Please let me go Jack! I can't stay here…I…I just can't," The Doctor pleaded.
Jack's ice blue eyes that had been aflame with anger now cooled and widened as he realised why the Doctor was so intent on getting away.
His hand slipped from his wrist in shock, but the Doctor didn't run.
"Holy hell…you love her." Jack said, more of an accusation rather than a question.
And the accusation was true.
The words hit home; he did love her. With every fibre of his being he loved her. He loved her like he had Rose, and in the same way; he was broken hearted again.
She was gone, he would never have Martha for his own.
With a moan, he sank to his knees and raked his hands through his hair.
"I can't do this Jack. I can't watch her go. It's like…watching…Rose all over again…" he murmured.
Jack was still staring at him with wide eyes, still obviously shocked about the development, but he squatted in front of his Time Lord friend and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"You really are a tragic case. But you're too late. She loved you and you weren't ready to reciprocate so she moved on. You can't just walk back into her life and expect her to come running. It's not fair on her." Jack said gently.
The Doctor shook his head slightly, gazing dully at the ground beneath him, drowning in his own sorrow.
"I never expected her to…but I can't stand by…and…and watch her slip from my hands. It's just too much to bear." The Doctor sighed.
Jack gave him a pitying look, before glancing over his shoulder and shifting slightly.
"Doctor. You love her don't you?" He said.
"With everything I have." The Doctor whispered.
"Does she love you?" Jack asked.
A lump rose in the Doctor's throat and his eyes began to burn as tears tried to push around his eyes.
"…No" he breathed with a shake of his head.
Jack let out a low sigh and squeezed his shoulder.
"If you love her, you want her to be happy right?" Jack's voice was slowly lowering in volume.
"Yes," the Time Lord responded.
"Then let her go," Jack prompted
The Doctor's body tensed as his head snapped up.
How could Jack say something like that?
He couldn't just let Martha go, he loved her, and when a Time Lord loved someone, they loved them eternally.
Love was not an emotion he could throw away.
"No!" he cried, although his voice was feeble and hoarse.
Jack nodded slowly, before taking a deep breath.
"You have to. She's in love with Tom. And if you think about it, she's better off with him. I'm sorry Doctor, I am very sorry. But, it's all you can do. If you try anything else, you'll end up pushing Martha away." Jack apologized, but the Doctor just couldn't comprehend how Jack proposed he do this.
"I can't just let her go! That's not…I can't do it. Once a Time Lord loves, it's eternal." He insisted.
For a moment Jack hesitated, then raised an eye brow.
"So you still love Rose?"
"Of course I do."
"Then we'll find a way to get her back for you."
The Doctor shook his head.
Jack didn't understand, he didn't want Rose, he wanted Martha.
"No, I can't do that. Rose has another life…" he began.
"And Martha doesn't?" Jack interrupted; his voice like steel…so sharp it hurt.
The Time Lord winced visibly and went silent, staring at the ground.
Why did his life always have to be so complex? For once, couldn't he just want something and get it?
Jack groaned heavily.
"You've got to let her go, Doctor. It'll only hurt worse if you keep clinging to her. For your own good…let her go." Jack said softly.
With a shaky sigh, he knew that Jack was right. He was loathed to admit it, but he was nothing but right.
He was clinging to Martha, and it would only hurt him worse. If he let her go, if he learned to let go, it would be easier.
He'd gone through the pain of clinging to something that was gone twice before, with both Gallifrey and Rose.
He wouldn't survive a third round.
It would kill him.
"…Help me Jack," he whispered sadly.
"I intend to. Come then. Let's go and finish this wedding off. It'll be a step in the right direction, should act as some sort of closure. That, and you have a promise to keep." Jack said, pulling him to his feet.
All the Doctor knew though, was heartbreak.
And it hurt.
Martha stood at the altar, half listening to the priest.
She was constantly looking towards the door; looking for Jack and the Doctor
The Doctor had just run out, she wasn't sure why but she had a pretty good idea.
Tish's words stuck in her mind, and if she applied them to the Doctor's melancholy mood and action, it made perfect sense.
She was beginning to wish that something would interrupt the wedding, give her some time to think and to talk to the Doctor.
When he'd run out, Tom had snorted.
"Told you he shouldn't have been invited." He'd whispered.
Martha had fumed at this.
Tom had always been jealous of the Doctor, because Martha talked about him, had a few treasured photos of him and thought of him often, despite her being adamantly against her old feelings for him.
But just because Tom was marrying her, it didn't give him any right to bad mouth the Doctor.
The door suddenly opened, allowing Jack to walk in; leading the Doctor.
Martha glanced at him, but he shied away from her eyes, obviously ashamed and sorry.
But there was something else on his face.
An unspeakable pain, not physical but emotional.
A deep, deep pain.
She could tell he was hurting badly.
His eyes were dulled and sad, the rims of his eyes were red, almost like he'd been crying.
There was a slump to his shoulders, and no smile on his lips.
He looked defeated, totally and utterly beaten.
Hurting, alone, tired and crushed.
'He thinks I don't love him anymore…he thinks...he doesn't know!' Martha thought
"Thomas Milligan, do you take Martha Francine Jones to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to hold; in sickness and in health; till death to you part?" The priest announced grandly.
Out of the corner of her eye, Martha saw the Doctor wince and attempt to back up and leave again. But Jack tightened his grip on his forearm and held him still, much to the Doctor's distress.
Yet, he did not make a scene about it. He stood rigidly, watching vaguely, the agony of this entire situation evident upon his face.
"I do." Tom said.
"Martha Francine Jones, do you take Thomas Milligan to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?" the priest asked, turning to her.
Her heart was pounding in her chest, her mind racing with all the wrong thoughts.
She loved Tom, but she loved the Doctor too.
There was no guarantee of a safe life, of a family, of a long life with the Doctor.
But he loved her and he would protect her until the end.
If she did marry Tom, she wouldn't be happy. Knowing that the Doctor was willing and she had denied him. Tom would live his life in the shadow of another man; and he didn't deserve that.
He deserved much more.
"…I…can't," she said softly, pulling her hands away from Tom's.
The entire church seemed to convulse with surprise and shock, some people reacted with horror, others with mild surprise.
Tom himself was staring at her; his dark eyes were wide and searching, begging for an answer.
"I am so sorry Tom, but I can't do this to you. It's not fair. You deserve to find a girl who'll love you with all her heart and not just some of it." Martha said, backing up slowly.
She knew in her heart that she was doing the right thing, although she wondered just how angry every one would be when the shock wore off.
"Wh…What do you mean? Martha? What are you doing?" Tom asked, stepping after her.
Though Martha stepped back off the altar, before turning to those gathered for their supposed 'union'.
"I'm sorry." She said and promptly ran back down the aisle and out of the church.
She had made sure not to look at either Jack or the Doctor as she left; or any of her family. She mainly kept her head low before she got out into the fresh air.
She skirted around the side of the church and into the small side room that she had been occupying before the start of the wedding; where she had been getting primped and pressed for the best day of her life.
As she locked the heavy door behind her, she thought the idea of her wedding being perfect, laughable.
Yes, the Doctor had interrupted once, but she was the one to ruin it.
Not exactly going to plan.
With a sigh, she gently eased herself down onto the padded lounge to wait.
By her calculations, if the Doctor did love her, then he'd be the first to find her.
Only three or so minutes had passed before she heard a faint buzzing at the door. The lock clicked open and slowly the door opened.
The Doctor stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.
He then stood in the centre of the room, gazing at her. She sat on the lounge, staring right back.
"Some wedding, eh?" she said at length.
The Doctor blinked passively, seemingly tentative, but at the same time hopeful.
"…Why didn't you marry him? I thought you loved him," he said softly.
"Oh I do love him…just…not in the way that I should. I love him…but not completely and unconditionally. I'm not in love with Tom, if you like." Martha explained, rocking back on the lounge.
The Doctor tilted his head to one side and frowned slightly.
"You didn't want to try and make it work?" he asked.
Martha laughed a little.
"No. Tom is a good man. He doesn't deserve the type of love that I can give him. I don't want to hurt him, which is all that I can end up doing…I don't want to put him through that." Martha said, shaking her head.
It slightly surprised her, at how well that she was dealing with this entire thing; with running away from her own wedding. She supposed that it was more evidence that they were not meant to be together.
The Doctor nodded thoughtfully, falling silent. Martha looked at him; she really looked at him, drinking in the sight of him.
His every feature made her love him more, his stance, his clothes, his eyes, his height, his shoes, his hair, his hands.
Every little thing made her smile.
"Would you like to sit down?" she asked, patting the lounge next to her.
He looked at the lounge then he looked to her. It was obvious that he wanted to sit next to her, but he merely shifted his weight from one foot to another.
"I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable," he mumbled.
She couldn't help but smile at how bashful he'd become.
"I won't be uncomfortable. Come and sit with me," she assured him.
The Doctor smiled slightly, but remained wary. He was still in great pain and was not sure where they stood.
Still, he remained negligent as to her feelings for him.
He sat down next to her, leaving a good foot of space between them. His body was stiff and rigid as he sat there and it almost seemed as if he were being made to sit next to a Dalek.
"Relax! I'm not going to bite!" she said, leaning over and placing a hand on his forearm.
Those big brown eyes of his flickered to her hand for a moment, before he himself scooted over to sit next to her; their knees almost touching. He relaxed slightly, though the wall of steel was still up around him, and he was still tenser than normal.
"So…Doctor. How have you been? It's been two weeks since I last saw you. What have you been up to?" she asked, forcing the small talk.
She wanted to ease that tension in him, to help him relax. To let him know that it was alright now.
She wanted to do this right, most of all. She wanted to be close to him, she needed to tell him. The suffering needed to end here, for the both of them.
"Nothing much…just ambling around the TARDIS…cleaning up…it's been quiet," he said.
Martha couldn't help it, her heart really did bleed for him. He was lost and lonely. She felt terrible for her part in it. It was her fault. All those times he'd joked about dates and relationships and innuendo and kisses and all those little things; she'd shut down.
She felt like a terrible person.
As she had done before, she cupped his cheek with one hand and tilted her head to one side.
"…You're not alright…are you?" she asked gently.
He swallowed, his eyes held her gaze as tears began to well in them.
"…No," he said thickly.
The truth was starting to bleed out now; the truth about what she had done to him. He was the Doctor, and he was always alright. But here he was, sitting before her in a church, admitting that he wasn't. All because of her.
A solitary tear rolled down the Doctor's pallid cheek as he closed his eyes and sniffed.
Gently, Martha wiped it away with her thumb.
"I'm right here Doctor…right with you." She whispered.
To her surprise though, he shook his head.
"…No…you're not. You can't be…" he said feebly.
Obviously he was alluding to his own emotions and how he assumed that they were not reciprocated.
It was time to tell him.
She stroked his cheek softly with her thumb, before leaning forward.
"Yes, I am," she said firmly.
As he opened his eyes, and shook his head; Martha nodded.
"I am, Doctor. In more ways than one. There is a reason as to why I broke the wedding off. I'm in love with someone other than Tom." Martha admitted.
The Doctor's eyes widened slightly, as his breath hitched in his chest.
"…Why are you telling me this?" he asked.
"Because you need to know. Whatever pain that I have caused you…needs to be fixed. I can't let this entire thing go. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, knowing that you were willing and I had married someone else just to spite you." Martha said with a sigh.
His eyes were darting across her face, as he was pulling back from her slowly. A mixture of confusion and hope swirled in his irises as his breathing heightened.
"Martha?" he whispered.
She smiled at him, nodding slowly.
"Funny thing is…I don't think that I ever got over you…truly. Of course, when you weren't around I was able to fool myself into thinking that I was in love with Tom. I suppose…it was because I wanted so badly to show that I was over you, that I wanted to prove it to myself and to you. Mind you…I did date a few people other than Tom, and I'll tell you now…I never got the same buzz as I did with you. You know what I mean? The thrill of loving someone so completely and utterly; that even when they just look at you, you feel like you're melting into a puddle?" Martha asked.
For a moment, the Doctor sat completely still, staring at her with wide eyes.
Before slowly, she saw his lips twitch upwards in a smile, and his eyes began to glimmer again.
"…I think I do…yeah…when every touch feels like a shock of electricity through your body. When every moment that you're not with them, you physically ache. You feel like you're dying slowly inside." He responded.
Martha giggled to herself, before nodding.
"Yes, that's it. Exactly what I'm talking about," she said.
They were close…so close.
Martha could feel his breath curling around her cheeks as he leaned toward her.
At any moment, they would finally express their love for each other; they would finally earn the chance for a kiss.
"Well, well, well…you two do play nice."
Both the Doctor and Martha jumped away from each other, looking over at the source of the noise, to find Jack Harkness standing in the middle of the room, smiling slyly like the cat who swallowed the canary.
"…Jack…how'd you get in here! The door was locked!" Martha snapped, a little frustrated at being interrupted.
"With good reason too. There should have been a tie on the door knob! I woulda knocked then!" Jack teased.
Martha felt herself flush with embarrassment at the thought of where the kiss might have lead to if they had been allowed to proceed uninterrupted.
"…But in all you're hurry, you forgot to lock the door Doctor. Anyway, I didn't come here to break up a happy ending, I just came to warn you, that you'd both better disappear. Tom's family is fuming," the Captain announced.
Nodding, and accepting that this probably was not the time or the place to be expressing herself with the Doctor; she stood up.
"Yeah…you're right. We'll go back to the TARDIS…if you…want…" the Doctor's voice softened.
Martha nodded quickly, smiling eagerly.
Jack grinned at the Time Lord, sensing that things had been sorted between them and for the better for the both of them.
"I'll escort you two. And besides, I'm interested in what's been going on in here, and seeing if there is any chance that I might join in!" Jack said cheekily.
Again, Martha blushed.
The air was cold as ice against his face, there were grey clouds that blocked the sun threatening rain at any second; the streets were crowded for a Sunday afternoon; but nothing could possibly sour the Doctor's mood.
He held Martha Jones' hand as he led her through the streets, weaving through the people who were walking the other way. There was a grin plastered upon his face that would not come off.
Occasionally he would laugh, cackling as he squeezed his friend's hand.
She was with him, she loved him! She was running with him, right behind him.
God…could his life get any better.
He felt like lightening was running through his veins, like he was full of spark and life and electricity that jolted through him with amazing speed.
He was in love; and to know that his love was reciprocated made him all the more energized.
He glanced over at her, grinning madly.
She was with him every step of the way, his long tan overcoat was covering her wedding dress to the best of its ability, though the white still shone through.
With a grin, Martha Jones hurried forward, ahead of the Doctor, dragging him with her as they followed Jack Harkness toward the park where the TARDIS had originally landed.
The three of them darted across a road, before hurdling a small chain link fence, and slowing to a walk as they passed into the park.
Up ahead sat the passive blue box, as timeless and patient as the sun.
Almost there, almost free. If they could make it through those two doors, then the Doctor knew that he had succeeded.
"Well, here we are. Safe and sound. All in one piece," Jack said as they stopped before the TARDIS.
Martha removed her hand from the Doctor's to give the Captain a hug.
"Thank you so much, Jack. You are the best friend that a girl like me could possibly get," she said.
Jack laughed, as he picked her up to hold her.
"It's nothing. So long as the hero gets the girl, then I know that my work is done." Jack said.
"So what does that make you? The relationship fairy?" the Doctor asked with a wry smile.
Putting Martha down, Jack turned to the Doctor, smirking.
"Oh no, more like the God of Romance." Jack said cheekily, before grabbing hold of the Time Lord in a rough hug.
They embraced as brothers before Jack let him go, and stepped back.
"Well, my work is done. I suppose that I'd better return to my lair, and hash things out with my team. Tell them all about my brilliant work." Jack said.
They said their farewells to the Captain but before he left, the Doctor grabbed his shoulder.
"Just remember Jack, anytime you need anything, or you want to come on a trip…don't hesitate to call. Alright? I know that Martha has given you my number so use it." The Doctor said.
Jack nodded, obviously pleased.
"But…uh…no drunk calls. Alright? I'm not one for listening to someone whose out of their head with alcohol, ramble on about how they never see me." The Doctor said, with a grin.
Chuckling, the former Time Agent began to back up.
"Can't make any promises but I'll try. Have fun you two, and don't forget to drop in now and then." Jack said, and with that, he turned and hared away over the grass, back the way they had come.
They watched him go, smiling softly, each lost in their own thoughts before the Doctor sighed.
"Well then. I suppose that we should head off," he said, turning to his partner.
Martha looked up at him, and nodded.
"Yes…and perhaps we can continue what we had started…without any more interruptions." She said, a tiny devious smile crossing her lips.
The Doctor's eyes darkened and he grinned wolfishly as he tapped the side of his nose.
"Doesn't sound like a half bad idea to me, Miss Jones. Care to accompany me to my master bedroom?" the Doctor said softly, offering her an elbow.
Martha giggled, as she slipped her arm through his.
"Of course Mister Smith," she said, and together, they walked through the doors of the TARDIS.
The lock clicking behind them.
Happy Ending! good, good? No stones...oh PLEASE no stones! but I hope it was worth the mind grinding I had to put myself through to get this out and finish it. I hate it when that happens! You write something you're totally into one day and the next your like...oh...
Oh well...review and show love. Might inspire me...you never know! Thanks to my beta for this! You ROCK RoxxiSanders!! And a big HELLO to my buddy forestwife! Love you both! You both are brilliant!!
Thanks again for everyone! Cyberhugs!!