DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM
Warning: Some of the humor may offend you.
HAPPY FUN TIMES MEISTERS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!!!
A very special Happy Fun Times thanks to Ominae, Cielo and RVD for their epic contributions. You rock guys, thanks a bunch. I'm sure the stuff you contributed will somehow make this wreck of a story tolerable. Anyhoo…enjoy the one shot and a Happy Halloween to all of you guys.
"Okay Mr. Temura…it seems your credentials are in order. You got a valid chef's license and you even served in the Earth Federation Army as a petty officer." Lockon closes the folder Temura gave him as he wraps up the interview. "You're hired but lemme remind you again that this is only one time gig. It's only for this party. I do hope you understand that."
"Understood." The chubby chef nodded his head. "Okay let's be clear with one thing before we end this job interview. Does your establishment's kitchen inventory have salt?"
"Uh…yeah…of course we do. I mean it's not exactly a family restaurant but our kitchen has all the basic cooking ingredients."
"Are you absolutely sure about that?" He stood up and his face grows serious…serious as in "he's making a really scary and crazy look on his face" serious. That kind of serious. "I cannot work in a place that doesn't possess salt!" He slams both of his hands on the bar, nearly making Lockon jump. "Lemme tell you this, young man. The reason why White Base survived during their ordeal on Earth is because we have salt. Oh you should have seen my face when I found out the ship was running out of salt during our time on the European front…wait a sec…was it the African front? Anyway! The point is we need SALT!"
"Heh…yes…I've seen that episode." Lockon chuckled nervously while wiping off the sweat on his forehead. "I'm sure a lot of people were thankful when Tomino removed that scene on the movies. Anyway, you just come here tomorrow morning and do your thing. Just whip up any grub for the party…I'm sure they won' mind what crap the patrons would shove inside their mouths since they'll all gonna be dead drunk once the ball starts rolling."
"Yes. Tomorrow morning, Mr. Stratos. The salt in your kitchen and I will have the most magical and delightful time."
"I'm sure you will." Lockon nodded, completely bemused. Meanwhile, Tieria is peeking outside the doorway with a sinister and mischievous smile on his face.
LOCKON'S BAR, KITCHEN
"Oh fuuuuuuuudge me." Lockon said in surprise, nearly dropping the beer keg he's carrying. He was expecting to see Chef Temura on the kitchen but instead he finds Tieria Erde. He's the one who's cooking the food for the party and for some ungodly reason; he's ONLY wearing a pink apron. He's buck naked underneath all that thin pinky cloth.
"Good morning, Lockon-chan." He greeted with a high pitched voice. "Let's all work hard for the party tonight." He giggled like an idiotic school girl.
"Where the hell is Chef Temura?" He asked while averting his eyes away from the purpled haired young man. "Feldt in a wet T-shirt. Feldt in a wet T-shirt. Feldt in a wet T-shirt." He thought repeatedly as he tries to remove the horrifying yet cute image of Tieria off his mind.
"Oh he called a while ago." He laughed while dumping some roughly chopped vegetables in a pot. Lockon gulped and wonders what kind of stew…or soup…or…something Tieria is cooking. It's probably stew since he swore he saw some kind of…meat…in there. The pot shook violently after the contents were dropped and it made Lockon even more nervous. "He said he can't make it today because there was a salt shortage in his place."
ON AN ABADONED LOT, SEVERAL MILES AWAY FROM LOCKON'S BAR
Chef Temura is locked inside the trunk of his car. His mouth is gagged and his hands handcuffed. He tries to scream for help but only produces small garbled noises thanks to the piece of cloth shoved inside of his mouth. He bangs his head on the trunk door to create some noise, hoping to attract someone nearby but unfortunately since the lot is located in the middle of nowhere, it will be awhile before someone finds him.
BACK TO LOCKON'S BAR
"I…I…I see." He replied and a big sweat drop appears on his head. "Are you sure you wanna do this, Tieria? It's gonna be hard work. I mean that's why I hired a professional."
"Oh c'mon Lockon-chan, have some faith in my skills." Tieria said and puts his face closer to Lockon. Too close. If he moves for a couple more inches, the two will have a lip accident that will send most elitist UC fan boys crying back to their rooms while huddling an MG RX-78 model kit. "Here have a taste of this." He offers him a plate of…something. Look…it's probably the author's awful English and grammar skills but the dish Tieria offered to Lockon is so horrible that it cannot be described to words. So dear readers let's all just think it's some sort of party dish Tieria read on some cook book and mercilessly butchered when he prepared it. If you look on the bright side, he butchered the dish with love. And that's what counts, right? Right? Well anyway…
"Hey…it's…pigs in a blanket." Lockon smiled nervously and hopes it's really pigs in a blanket. God help him if its not.
"Silly Lockon." Tieria giggled like an idiot again. "You're such a kidder. This can't be pigs in a blanket. It's a dessert."
"It's a dessert." He repeated and the thing…dish…or…something wriggled as if its contents are still alive.
Lockon cleared his throat and pulls out his cell phone. "Uh…Miss Wang…it's me. I got some sort of…culinary emergency here. Yes well…uh…okay I understand. I promise I'll pay you back next month."
"L-L-L-Lockon-chan, does this mean you don't like my cooking?" Tieria goes into puppy dog eyes mode and Lockon just shook his head in exasperation. "But I tried so hard, Lockon-chan. Tieria tried so hard."
"Hey boss!" Saji Crossroad called out as he enters the kitchen. "Has Temura-san arrived yet? Maybe I could help out in the-
He froze at the sight of Tieria wearing only an apron and the atrocities committed inside the kitchen. "Say Saji, do you look like pigs in a blanket?" He asked the young man and he just gives the Irishman a puzzled look.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Lockon bowed down in front of Wang Liu Mei after her crew finished preparing the food for the party. Tieria is sitting on the corner pouting. Saji just smiles at him while finishing up the decorations.
"Be sure to pay me next month, Lockon." She smiled. "Just like you promised."
"Of course." He nodded his head while grinning.
"I must be on my way now. Enjoy your party." She said and Hong Long opens the door for her. "Oh and be sure to comfort Tieria. He's pretty torn up because you threw all the food he cooked."
"That was food?" Saji asked in genuine surprise. Tieria then repeatedly bashes him on the head with a rusty steel pipe. Now of course normally that would kill poor Saji but since this is a parody story that questions the very logic and continuity of the Gundam 00 series…he's just aaaaaaaalright.
"Wait." Lockon stops Wang Liu Mei before she could even set foot outside. "Do you want to stay? For the party I mean."
"Oh I'd love to." She replied. "But I got to attend this Halloween party they're having at the PLANTS. I got an image to protect so I hope you understand. I hear Lady Lacus is having a concert…I know that would send some running for cover but as a big time celebrity I should be there, rubbing elbows with those big shot Coordinators."
"I see." Lockon said and sadly watches Wang as she leaves the bar.
"Hey cheer up, boss." Saji comforted him. Lockon nearly fainted when he saw him bleeding all over. "We're gonna have a ball here so get your spirits up high in the air and just enjoy."
"You're right, my beloved milquetoast employee." He said.
"Uh…what did you say?"
Ignoring him, Lockon raised both of his arms. "We're gonna enjoy the shit out of this party! Woohoo!"
"Yeah, you motherfudging bitches!" Shinn Asuka suddenly appeared behind them while wearing Mayu's clothes as his Halloween costume. "Let's party like its Cosmic Era 69!!!"
The party is finally in full swing. Most of the Lockon's regular customers arrived while wearing their pilot suits as their Halloween costume since they're all lazy bastards who didn't even bother preparing. "Seems to be quite lively." Lockon watched as all the patrons were enjoying themselves at the annual Halloween party after he had announced the event on advertisements for his bar. So far, it was a success.
"Hey, boss." Saji greeted Lockon, who was keeping an eye on everyone. Shinn was behind the bar, trying to hide from Stellar. While most of the regular drunks are only wearing their pilot suits…there are some who actually came wearing actual Halloween costumes.
"Hey." Lockon greeted back. "You're right. Looks like this is going to be a good night for all of us."
Suddenly, someone was thrown inside the bar. The patrons saw that the person thrown inside was familiar. In fact, the person was so familiar that he looked like Lockon. "Isn't that Lockon?" Asked Shinn, who was still hiding behind the bar.
"Yeah! What's he doing here?"
"If that's Lockon, then who's the one at the bar with Saji?" An OZ grunt asked.
"Two Lockons!" Tieria squealed with delight. "My wish has finally been granted. Oh thank you, Gundam gods! Now I can finally do that thing where-
"You're in the way." The other Lockon pushes him aside.
Lockon was shocked to see who it was. "Lyle?"
"Evening, big brother Neil." Lyle greeted his brother, standing up to regain composure.
"Are they twins?"
"Nah…can't be. Must be some clichéd fiction movie stuff we always see on the boob tube. Like that High School Saw Musical five or something." A BESPA pilot laughed and gulps down his beer.
"A ghost!" Shinn yelled.
"Everyone." Lockon a.k.a Neil Dylandy introduced Lyle to the patrons. "My younger twin brother, Lyle."
"Hey." Lyle gave the two-finger salute to acknowledge himself. "I'm the plot device…err…I mean Lockon's younger twin brother. I'm sure he told you guys all about me. I mean he sure did told me all about you guys."
"Nope. He didn't." Allelujah Haptism chuckled nervously while shaking his head.
"Oh well." Lyle smiled as he sits down on a stool in front of the bar. "I guess this is a good chance for you guys to get to know me."
"Um..." Saji went to ask Lyle. "Who roughed you up out there?"
Lockon and Saji then saw a group of men entering the bar. They had dark blue uniforms with the emblem of an eagle. The emblem is like something you could find on a made in China sports shoes bootleg or something. Anyhoo…
Both Tieria and Allelujah jumped behind the bar, upon seeing the mean looking bunch who had just barged inside the place. "The Titans." Tieria whispered with so much fright that his voice started shaking.
"Out of character much." Allelujah sadly bowed his head. "Such a plight for being portrayed poorly in a parody fan fiction story."
Lockon raised an eyebrow. "The what?"
"The Titans." Tieria repeated to Lockon and the others as they watch them shove and push aside the patrons while making their way towards Lyle.
"Okay…it looks like my stay here is done" Lyle said while he tries to escape to the back door. Three Titans quickly intercepted and restrained him before he could, savagely grabbing him by the arms and neck. "Hey! Let go, you assholes!"
"So Lockon." One of them grabbed Lyle by his shirt. It was none other than Jerid Messa, the hot headed blonde ace pilot of the Titans. "You still gonna bug us up with them Titan wannabees like you did three weeks ago."
"Hey!" Neil called out to them. "Let him go, Jerid."
"What the hell?" Another blonde man with a semi-raspy voice came up to the bar. "Who the heck are ya? His ghost?"
"More like his doppelganger, Mr. Yazan Gable" Neil chuckled. "Anyway all jokes aside, the one you're all roughing up there is my younger twin brother, Lyle Dylandy."
A woman with green hair came next to Yazan. She too was wearing a Titans uniform but unlike the others, she gives off an aura of maturity and discipline. She was accompanied by a pink haired teenage girl. "Sir, I'm afraid they're speaking the truth. There is no way we can explain this."
"It's true…I'm sensing a mental bond between these two." The pink haired Titans said. "A bond I'm familiar with…a bond between siblings."
"Oh." Yazan raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? If Sarah Zabiarov the Newtype said so then it must be true. A twin…how novel." He said sarcastically.
"Mouar." Jerid called out to the woman. His hand is still gripping Lyle's shirt.
"Hold it right there, ya bunch of pansies."
The Titan goons look behind them and were shocked to see who it was. "It's them." Sarah whispered under her breath and cowered behind Mouar.
Yazan glared at the men who had entered the bar. They have green uniforms that nearly covered their arms and legs while wearing boots. It was almost like a skirt. Their insignia resembled an arrowhead. "A-LAWS." He gritted.
"You won't lay a finger on him, Jerid Messa." The A-LAWS group was being led by a young woman with white hair, a red haired man and blonde masked man who wore a purple and red coat over his A-LAWS uniform, nearly resembling a samurai.
"What makes you think you can stop me, Soma Pieres." Jerid marches towards the white haired woman until the masked man blocks his path.
"What in the holy Gihren Zabi is going here?" Asked Shinn while scratching his head. "I mean whoa…the tension is so damn thick you can cut it with a knife."
"Holyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy shit." Char Aznable said behind them while munching on a sandwich. "So that's the new masked dude? I mean Jesus H. Christ…he looks like effing Mankind to me. Seriously…c'mon if you gonna do the mask, do it right. And what is up with those uniforms? Y'all look so damn gay? It's like the Star Trek crew all had Scotty syndrome and became Scottish."
"You tell them, Char-sama." His Puru clones said behind him. All of them were dressed up like Lala, Haman, Quess, Mineva and there was even a Mariemaia Khushrenada.
"Hey Char, glad you could make it." Neil waved to him.
"Hey wouldn't missed it for the world, baby." He waved back.
"Just who the heck are you?" The masked man asked.
"I'm Char Aznable." He proudly introduced himself while pounding his chest. "If you're gonna be the titular masked villain then at least know my name, boy."
"Mr. Bushido." Soma signaled him. "Our fight is not with him."
"Sorry." He apologized while smiling.
"Did she say Mr. Bushido?" One of the patrons asked.
"Oh my God!" Char pointed to Graham Aker a.k.a Mr. Bushido as he laughs his ass off. "Fudging 'a! What the hell kind of name is that? Oh fudge almighty…oh sweet heaven above us. This just made my day…I mean do you have a samurai themed mobile suit or something? Oh man this bakes my cakes. I mean what's next? A German ninja?"
"Hey!" Schwarz Bruder called out from the corner seat. "Lay off, man. At least I'm badass."
"Oh sorry, buddy." Char waves his hands apologetically.
"Ahem." Yazan cleared his throat. "Uh…Aznable, if you're gonna join in on the fight then-
"Oh hell no. The new masked dude just surprised me. Go kill each other or something…I don't really care." He then ushers his Puru clones to march around the room. "Come my lovely lolis, let us ask some candy from the drunks."
"Haaaaaaiiiii!" They all replied with enthusiasm.
"Okay…where were we?" Yazan cracks his knuckles as he and the other Titan soldiers position themselves.
"Marie…" Allelujah was happy to see Soma. His face started blushing at the sight of her familiar face. Soma gritted her teeth and glares at him. "Marie…" He repeated.
"My name is not Marie! It's Soma Pieres."
The former HRL super soldier began to cry due to Soma's hateful tone. "It's alright, Allelujah. Don't cry. Look on the bright side…at least she's not unstable as Four or Stellar so that means there won't be any tragic Gundam girlfriend deaths for you…I think." Tieria comforted him.
"Anyway." Soma fixes her uniform's collar. "I suggest you Titans hand over Lyle Dylandy to us. We A-LAWS have something to ask of Mr. Dylandy. Also we would appreciate it if you don't lay a finger on him."
"I suggest you follow the Lieutenant, Mr. Gable." The red haired A-LAWS soldier glared at him while smiling smugly.
"I'm not sure about that, Mr. Andrei Smirnov." Yazan glared back. "I mean we got to him first so finders keepers, assholes."
"Really now…he doesn't even belong to your universe." Mr. Bushido said with a menacing tone. "Play fair and give Mr. Dylandy to us."
"What's the matter, masked man?" Jerid asked with a threatening voice. "You got some beef with Lyle here? Is he your informant or something?"
"We have information..." The masked man began to breathe down on Jerid. "…that you folks are trying to start something against us."
"And he's a material witness for that matter." Soma told the Titans.
"Blow me." Mouar rebutted Soma's comments. "Lyle Dylandy's a material witness regarding your activities against us."
The ranks of the A-LAWS and Titans were now silent after the two parties had traded accusations against each other to the point where they had the same information gathered from Lyle. They were now trading glares instead of accusations. "Are these guys dressed up for Halloween?" One of the patrons asked.
"Probably." Said another.
"Oh man this is getting intense." Shinn said in a childish glee, his eyes were sparkling with sheer delight as he watches the intense stand-off between the two groups.
Suddenly, like some bad Deus Ex Machina plot device, a tomato from who knows where was hurled towards a Titan soldier standing near Jerid. "Son of a bitch." The soldier grunted as he wipes the mess out of his face. "That came from A-LAWS…oh these sons of bitches are gonna get it now. Let's go 30 bunch incident on their asses!"
"Attack!" Jerid shouted as he tries to punch Mr. Bushido. The masked man blocked it and threw him over his shoulder.
"Get them!" Commanded Soma, urging the A-LAWS soldiers to charge in and fight the Titans.
"For the Titans!" A Titan soldier cheered and kicks the mid-section of an unsuspecting A-LAWS soldier.
"Let's do this for Commander Om!"
"Say…where is the commander?"
"Dunno…probably in Hawaii to get away from the job."
"Bar fight!" The patrons were soon attacked by both A-LAWS and Titans alike, sparing no one regardless of race, ethnicity and gender.
"Oh shitty poo. I did it again." The person who threw the tomato was actually one of the patrons, an Earth Forces soldier to be exact. "It's like February 14 on the PLANTS again." He wailed.
"A what?" The guy next to him asked.
"Every time there's an intense stand off like this…I get nervous and do stupid stuff. I mean I didn't mean to shoot down Junius Seven with a nuke…I was trying to find a way to turn on the radio."
"Great!" Lockon complained. "I was just going well with the 4 year record streak before I'd get a discount on my insurance."
"Well shit happens." Shinn said.
Neil saw Lyle slamming the head of a Titans soldier on the bar table. "Hey bro." He grinned. "I think they're all ruining the bar now."
"What in the hell is going here?" Somebody said.
"Oh what now?" Neil bangs his head on the bar table.
Amuro, Relena, Setsuna, Kinue, Christina and Mama Halevy arrive after beating the living crap out of the A-LAWS and Titans soldiers standing in their way. "Saji-kun!" Kinue, who is wearing a sailor fuku uniform for her Halloween costume, waved at him.
"Onee-sama!?" Saji cried out in surprise after seeing the…umm…revealing costume of his older sister. He felt guilty when an all familiar male exclusive itch invaded his crotch. His teenage hormones are on a rampage. "I see you guys made it to the party." He chuckled nervously.
"Of course." Amuro smiled smugly. "What kind of party this would be if the first and original Gundam protagonist is not invited? It would be an insult to the franchise itself if the Amazing Amuro Ray wasn't invited."
"Saji-kun, what do you think of Onee-sama's costume?" Kinue grabs Saji by the head and starts rubbing his face on her bosoms. "It's Onee-sama's old high school uniform."
"Does that count as a costume?" Asked Shinn and Lockon just shrugs.
"Anyway we're here to enjoy the party." Mama Halevy said while an A-LAWS soldier tried to sneak up on her. Before he could do anything, a frying pan appeared on her right hand and smacked the poor soldier on the face.
"Get off, you messed up woman." Chris said as she tries to pull Kinue away from Saji. "Anyway guys, could you tell us what the heck is going here?" She asked and everybody realized the fight has escalated. They were too engrossed with the arrival of Amuro and the others, they forgot about the brawl between the A-LAWS and the Titans.
"Well you see…" Allelujah tried to explain.
"Oh screw that." Relena interrupted. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth is what they say." She smiled sadistically and pulls put a mean looking 2x4. "I thought the party is gonna be a gayfest but hell…this is primo shit we're talking about."
"We know we should do something about Relena." Amuro whispered to Neil. "A lot of people are getting concerned about Gundam characters going out of character in this story. I mean it's a parody and all but…well it's going overboard."
"I hear you." He whispered back.
"Ooooooryaaaaa!!!" Relena screamed and beats down several A-LAWS and Titans soldiers…maybe a few of Lockon's patrons got mixed in but hell I dunno. I mean it's a frenzy of fists and beer bottles…let's all just think its one big orgy of violence and Relena doesn't give an F who she beats.
"Ummm…Marie." Allelujah taps Soma's shoulder while she mercilessly beats down Jerid with a chair. "Marie, I think we need to talk."
"I told you…" She glared. "…my name is not Marie."
Before Allelujah can say anything, a new batch of Titans soldiers barge inside the bar and the fight became worse. Tables were smashed, beer bottles are flying and old school Gundam fans are crying because their favorite show is fast becoming a bishounen love fest that produces intense and ambiguous "sexual tensions" between said pretty boys that would make most of yaoi fandom swoon but that has nothing to do with the bar fight but I put it anyway since I love random and non-sequitur shit. "Marie!" He called out to Soma when a bottle gets smashed on her head and knocking her out.
"These bastards are attacking us too!" An A-LAWS soldier screamed before Mr. Bushido silenced him with a swift kick to the face.
"It's them!" Yazan Gable growled. "It's the AEUG!"
"Oh great." Amuro shook his head. "I guess we better teach these motherfudgers a lesson, Char." He said while flexing his arm.
"It's a shame we have to spend our Halloween like this." Char hopped on the table and kicked Jerid right on the chin. Amuro did the same and tackled Yazan.
"Oh well." Allelujah took the unconscious body of Soma Peries. "I'll take you to a safe place, Marie. Away from this hell." He then goes upstairs to his room and locks the door.
"Hey I remember doing that on high school." An A-LAWS pointed to Allelujah before getting kicked on the nuts by Mouar.
Meanwhile, three more people entered the bar. One was a blonde with Caucasian features, another had East Asian features and a beard with the third having brown hair and also some Caucasian features. The blonde and the bearded one are wearing old Principality of Zeon uniforms while the brown haired one is wearing a…well…a brown jacket. He probably likes brown a lot. "It looks like you're right, Klaus." The bearded one observed. "Titans and A-LAWS are duking it out like there's no tomorrow."
"Who cares, man?" The blonde was excited at the fight. "I mean, the A-LAWS and Titans are fighting against each other. It's a win-win situation for us."
"Holy jumping George Glenn humping Dorothy." A Titans officer pointed at the three men. "It's Shin Matsunaga the White Wolf and Johnny Ridden the Red Comet."
"It's Crimson Lightning, dumbass!" Johnny shook his fist. "Gosh darn it…I'm having another Gihren's Greed flashback here. That's it you're a dead man, Titan!" He lunges at the officer and proceeds to beat him.
"I might as well join in." Shin cracked his knuckles and punches the nearby A-LAWS soldier.
"Boss." Saji chuckled nervously. "It looks the party is over."
"Yes." He nodded while watching his bar get destroyed. "Yes. Yes it is."
"Uh…are you crying?"
"I am..." Setsuna glared at the masked man who was grinning at him. "No!" He puts the Gundam Exia mask on before he yelled. "I WAS THE GUNDAM!" He then jumped towards Mr. Bushido and engages him in a fistfight.
"That's right, Gundam!" Yelled the masked man. He does a roundhouse kick but the young Krugis boy easily dodges it. "I was looking forward to this day. You dumped me but I shall come back, my sleeping princess. I'm completely in love with you…ever since I first laid my eyes on your magnificent and shiny body, Gundam! I love to do things to you. Things that involves my penis and your exhaust pipe and…wait that's not right."
"Oh man…this really sucks ass." Neil bangs his head on the bar again. He then notices Yazan and an A-LAWS soldier lifting the karaoke machine. "Hey there!" He grabs the mop near his feet and jumps over the bar. "Get your filthy paws off that thing! Do you have any idea how much that thing cost?"
"Hey boss, be careful with that thing." Saji cried out to him but to no avail. "Oh well…this party is a bust anyway. I wonder where Louise is."
"Hey there." He heard a familiar voice behind him. He already knows who it is since he could smell the heavy and reeking scent of alcohol. "Miss Sumeragi Lee Noriega." He turned to face the busty auburn haired woman, who is also wearing a sailor fuku uniform just like Kinue. Her whole body is swaying back and forth and her hair is a mess. She was carrying a bottle of Bourbon.
"Ne Saji, what do you think of my costume? Better than your sister?"
"Umm…Miss Sumeragi, you're drunk. You're not thinking straight. How about you sit down here and I'll serve you a hot cup of coffee so you can sober up."
"Reeeelleh?" She said in a drunken slur. "I'm thining streeeeyt! Streeeyt as an arrowww…get it? Arrows? A-LAWS?" She grabs Saji by the head and presses his forehead on her chest just like what Kinue did to him awhile ago. But this time, unlike Kinue's not so plumpy chest, he could two soft and large lumps pressing to his face. Blushing, he pulls away from her.
"I really need to find Louise now."
"Shhhhhpeaking of Louise…I heard she hasssssss a new part time job."
"A part time job? What do you mean?"
RIBBONS ALMARK'S HOUSE…OR MALE HOST CLUB OR SOMETHING THINGY…AAAAAH! DAMMIT! STUPID PRETTY BOY DESIGNS! I CAN'T TELL IF THEY'RE MALE OR FEMALE…I MEAN THE INNOVATORS LOOKS LIKE A MALE HOST CLUB FOR FUDGE'S SAKES…ANYHOO…
Ribbons Almark cornered Louise Halevy on the wall, slamming both of his hands near both sides of her head. "You look quite pleasant in that A-LAWS uniform, Miss Louise Halevy."
"If you don't back off, I'll file a lawsuit against you." The Spanish girl trembled.
"Oh please." The green haired and androgynous boy snickered. "Who can stop the great Ribbons Almark from doing so?"
"Ribbons." A purple haired girl…or guy spoke behind him. "The president of the Earth Sphere Federation wants to file a complaint. He said that you look really gay and that you're needed at Lockon's bar. It seems A-LAWS are in some sort of trouble with the Titans group."
"Dammit…Space Obama is really getting annoying." He hissed. "Regene a.k.a Tieria look-alike a.k.a possible plot device, look after things here." He ordered. "I'm going to Lockon's bar to sort those bastards out."
"Alright. What seems to be the problem here?" Ribbons barged in and everybody stops what they're doing.
"Damn you!!!" Amuro Ray lunged at him and grabs Ribbons by the throat. "I can't believe Toru Furuya voiced a girly man like you! I mean look at your outfit. I mean he voiced me! The hero of the fricking Gundam franchise. And why is he voicing a villain?"
"Hmmph." The green haired girly boy grinned. "As if you're the only one. Toru-san voice bad guys too."
"Well at least make them look manly."
"So you're the one who lured me out here? Posing as Space Obama."
"Yeah…I had a little chat with those A-LAWS guys and they told me some pretty interesting things about you."
"As if I'm afraid of you."
"We'll see about that!" Amuro smiled. "Newtype Punch!" He shouted and the everybody resumed fighting again.
"Wow Amuro, never seen you so fired up before." Char said.
"Quiet." He growled at him. "Time to bust girly boy here." He then proceeds to beat him up and throws his carcass outside.
A SVMS Union Flag Orbital Package Colony Guard Type crashes in front of the bar. The cockpit hatch opens and grizzled Robert Spacey jumps off along with Deborah Galiena. "Hurry! We must warn everyone about Alejandro Corner's plan of world domination."
"Uh…you're too late, buddy." An A-LAWS soldier told him while taking a smoke. He seems to have escaped the bar before things went sour. "Four years late. Season two is already airing."
"Y-Y-You mean we've been wondering in space for years!?"
"I guess you did."
"Then…all our efforts were for nothing." Deborah said sadly. "Hey there's a bar over there. Man, I really need a drink." She hops towards the building and notices Ribbon's limp body near the entrance. "Oh dear." She gasped. "Is that you, Ribbons? You look kinda busy so I'll move along."
"Deborah! Wait for me." George tries to catch up with her.
Nearby, a man in a bear suit was also approaching Lockon's bar. "I wonder if my comrades in the A-LAWS will not mind me being in a bear costume despite my moniker, The Wild Bear of Russia." Sergei Smirnov thought.
THE NEXT DAY…
Saji sighs as he sweeps the rubble. Lockon's bar was nothing more than a crater on the ground. The brawl lasted the entire night and it only ended when some punk from Blue Cosmos came in with a bomb while yelling something about a blue and pure world. "I was expecting a lot of things for this one shot." Lockon a.k.a Neil moaned while sitting the road. "I was expecting people having a good time. Scary stories and stuff. Halloween things."
Sitting next to him is a very depressed Allelujah. "I laid her on the bed and did everything so she can remember me but it was no use. All the things I did…I even used a-
"Allelujah, please shut up." Christina Sierra said behind him.
"Well at least my Lockon-chan is safe." Tieria said while clinging to Neil's arm.
"Look at the bright side, guys." Saji tried to cheer them up. "At least we had some fun."
"Oh we sure did." Lyle appears next to him while eating a leftover chicken from the party.
"Yup." Shinn Asuka nodded. He's still wearing Mayu's clothes for some weird reason and it's creeping everybody out. "Sure your bar blew up and stuff but you gotta admit it was a pretty bitching party. A real hardcore festival."
"I hate you guys." Neil bowed his head and started sobbing.
"Well at least there's thanksgiving!" Saji said and raised both of his arms. "Look forward to thanksgiving, Lockon-san. Think about the turkey."
"I hate you, Saji."
Elsewhere, Setsuna is standing on top of a tall building while still wearing the Gundam Exia's mask. Mr. Bushido is sitting next to him with a satisfied look on his face. "Gundam, I learned a lot from this experience."
"I am Gundam." Setsuna announced and flew to the sky while Mr. Bushido looks on, looking proud.
Chef Temura is a minor character in the first Gundam series. The salt thing was when Temura wants the White Base crew to stop what they're doing and made a big deal about the lack of salt.
The Titans are the main antagonists of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam. They're a group of soldiers separated from the regular Federation forces, they're known to be brutal and oppressive. They even go as far as destroying a colony full of people just to prove a point.
Schwarz Bruder is a character in G Gundam. He's a German ninja.
Shin Matsunaga and Johnny Ridden are ace pilots from Gundam MSV. They appear in various mangas, side stories and video games like Gihren's Greed. Johnny's nickname is always mistaken to be the Red Comet.